Ending my life is a viable option

I’m thirty years old, and I’ve done nothing with my life. I have no job. I have no friends, and I’m failing in school again. I can’t take these cycles any longer. I do well for a couple years. I make friends, hold a job, and do well in school. Then the depression comes back. I push my friends away, lose my job, and fail in school. I’ve gotten help in the past, but that only left me tens of thousands of dollars in debt. I need ECT again, but I don’t have insurance or any way to pay for it. I can’t take this anymore. Spending all of my sane time fixing what I broke during my insane time only to break it all when the inevitably insanity comes back isn’t a way to live. I can’t go on like this. I need to come up with a serious plan to end it.