I just want to know how all the other Sp’ers would like to leave this horrible world and when… Id like to just fall down in the middle of a street and die… And id like it to happen as soon as possible i guess..
July 2013
Hi, I’m 16 nearly 17. I was told I had depression 3 months ago and sonce then it feels like everything is getting worse. I was very happy throughout 14 years of my life, I had some problems like only connecting with my household family because of issues with my mum and rarely seeing my dad cause he works. Never thought anything bad of it until I was 15. I had a boyfriend that all went well untill after we were going out for 10 months and things went down hill but I always blamed myself for these problems. He lied to me and in […]
So until recently I’ve been showing minor signs of Catatonic Schizophrenia. If you dont know what that is, Catatonic schizophrenia is a type (or subtype) of schizophrenia that includes extremes of behavior. Regular schizophrenia is one of many brain diseases that may include delusions, loss of personality (flat affect), confusion, agitation, social withdrawal, psychosis, and bizarre behavior.
I started showing signs and its freaking me out. I’ve begun to see shadows that stay longer than normal, and I’ve been hearing unfamiliar voices call my name. The shadows want to hurt me but they wont leave me alone. Its been getting harder to concentrate and complete my thoughts (you have […]
no, I dont cut. No, I wasnt abused. I’m sorry if you have been.
In 5th grade I started taking pills (amphetamine) and some for sleeping. I started getting really skinny, never eating, never hungry. I turned pale and gaunt, my parents thought I was anorexic. I couldnt explain to them that I just wasnt hungry (a side effect of amphetamine) so I lied. A lot. “yea I ate a sandwich when you were gone.” I hadnt. Ya this wasnt bad, i was a pretty happy kid, just really skinny. Then 6th grade rolled around and i weighed around 60 lb for the first half of […]
Well, I don’t know how to exactly go about this. I’ve never told exactly what happened to me to a lot of people….but I guess I can start now. This may be long to some people and for that, I am sorry. If you don’t want a sad story about a dying girl, I would move on. Well….here we go.
I was raised in a small town in the midwest. I’ve gone to the same schools my whole life. My life was good. Everyone’s is for awhile. Then, something changed. 6th grade changed everything.
I had always been bullied. By a girl here and there, a boy […]
hi,
now a days feeling very happy…. because i am pregnant. i use to cry a lot because of my mother in law. she irritates me, scolds me, manipulates my husband, makes my husband to scold me every time. one day there was a big clash between me and both of them, in the result i got hurt physically and i thought i should divorce him. i took a break for few days…. i went to my parents for about 2 months, i have my parents support…. there i got to know that i am pregnant. my husband is very happy with it. but […]
So i decided i shall share my story with you all even though how difficult it is because i can never put words to how i feel or what i’m experiencing. So please bare with me..
NOTE: Some parts of my story may be a bit shocking to read but this isn’t a “feel sorry for me” post just so you all know a bit about my back ground but i wont go into detail as this is a bit personal for me.
Well i was a happy outgoing kid i had a wonderful childhood i lived out near the beach and i went to a lovely […]
When you’re shivering and cold, it’s like there’s nothing else out there. Am I the only one who gets the feeling of being alone when I’m cold? It’s as if the chill calls to you and begs you to follow it and leave everything else behind. life is like a flake of snow, cold and light and harassed by its surroundings until you hit the ground, then become jostled around by the world around you until you melt in warmth. You’re still that same snowflake I guess, but you’re something different and more useful. The cold is brilliant, really. Closing your eyes, do you sometimes […]
Ah the joys of Anxiety. You know, waking up and feeling nervous for no reason. Walking outside and smelling the smog in the city, afraid that you’ll get mugged even though you have three people with you. Going into a building and thinking that anyone who dares to laugh is laughing at you. Yeah, it’s great.
Not really. It fucking sucks. Anxiety attacks and panic attacks are very similar but the way my doctor describes it is that anxiety attacks are triggered by an event, and panic attacks aren’t always.
I had a panic attack at my friends house. And an Anxiety attack. In the same day. […]
I’m not sure if anyone will actually read this well, or even care, but I’m sick of this. Life is just time, and we’re only doing things to waste it or make the best of it. I’m sick of it! I want to see what’s existing opposite of time. I hate time. I hate life. The blade isn’t too far away, within arms reach, just one quick slice and it will be over. I don’t know how to handle this anymore. I just don’t know!! I’m just one drop of blood in the body of a healthy human, not needed and dispensable…. I’m tired in […]
I’ve found some pessimistic quotes which I would like to share. Enjoy.
“That human life must be some kind of mistake
is sufficiently proved by the simple observation
that man is a compound of needs which are hard to satisfy;
that their satisfaction achieves nothing
but a painless condition
in which he is only given over to boredom . . .”
– Arthur Schopenhauer
“Life is like an onion:
you peel off layer after layer
and then you find there is nothing in it.”
– James Gibbons Huneker
“It is possible to live only as long as life intoxicates us;
once we are sober we cannot help seeing
Pain is eating my insides again. My stupid decision means a big step back. I feel like ripping my skin off, so I don’t have to feel this. How will I be able to hold this job if all I feel like doing is to lie down and cry. I need to get better. I can’t afford to make bad decisions anymore
I have no idea if anyone will respond to this or how many will respond, but I am rapidly losing my shaky grip on things.
A little quick background: I am a 39 year old with diagnosed bipolar II disorder. My life unraveled four years ago (work issues) and I had a setback in January 2012. I have often considered suicide but always held myself back (barely sometimes) mostly because of my family (didn’t want to hurt them). This is the basic stuff.
I am here because I am desperate. Unlike other times (except one) where I only had *thoughts* about doing it, I have a plan. […]
Maybe someday I’ll tell you about all of my pain. Maybe someday I’ll tell you that the real reason as to why I don’t sleep very much at night is because I’m just that scared of what might happen to you while I sleep. I want to protect you so much, but you’re not even here. The real reason why I cut is to know that everything isn’t an illusion. When will I tell you that? When will I tell you all the things that trouble me? When will I stop using depression as an excuse? Why can’t I pick myself up anymore? You tell […]
Holy crap, I just went through the fastest mood swing I have ever heard of. I went from depressed, to manic, to depressed again. All while feeling suicidal. It has not even been a full twenty-four hours. First depressive phase was like all sad and fun stuff like that. Then it was like I had the best stimulant in the world. I could not stop smiling and planning out a really unlikely way of killing myself. Then the depression came back and I was like. That would never work. How delusional could I be. More than delusional though was the sense of being just better […]
Why do you try to stay? Why do you push yourself into my life? No.. I told you i didn’t want to be with you and you continually try.. You hurt me once I’m not letting you do it again..
I need help. preferably from a higher frequency “unplugged” being.
I have noone to talk to. No friends. Literally. No family. Literally. I haven’t lived at home since I was 17. So I’m turning to the interwebs. If you have knowledge in “T.I.s” that would be divine. Relatively speaking I need someone on my level or the next.
I am 22. This is not a plea for attention, nor am I Â searching for pity. Read my other post and maybe my pro to get maybe the slightest idea.
Thanks.
-From one void to another
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhhC_N6Bm_s
First post here, not much to say, after reading some posts here my depression doesn’t seem like shit haha. I always watch this speech when I’m feeling down, hopefully it can comfort/enlighten others.
How could I be lost, if I’ve got nowhere to go?
Search for seas of gold, how come its got so cold?
How could I be lost, in remembrance I relive?
And how can I blame you if its me I can’t forgive?
Is there any light? Where is the light?? I keep searching, my eyes might be open, but the light, it seems like its running away, always 1 step ahead of me.
Its within reach, but when I try, it just barely eludes my fingertips.
My soul crys out in anguish and despair.
Like a newborn left in a dumpter yearning for the return of his mother.
The […]
a quick note to all you depresso’s out there. this is coming from an aging depressive who is starting to realize a number of things over time…
after spending the most of my life moping.. recently i kinda had a downfall w my gf and i think its pretty much over now.. i smothered her w my negativity and she couldn’t take it..
anyways kids. you only live once. things might seem shitty now. and all of you might wanna shoot yourself. but think of it this way. you live for like 70-90 years right? think of life as a gift, a game and an adventure. you’re […]