How fucked is the world we live in today?
These days I can say that I am:
One of the few that haven’t been sexually abused
One of the few that haven’t had a knife pulled on them
And I am
One of the many that have an eating disorder
One of the many that self harm
One of the many that have tried to kill themselves
We live in a society today where so many people and especially at young ages are suffering or experiencing such traumatic things.
I will consume you. I will completely take over your life. You’ll think you’re in control but really I will be. I’ll change the way you think about everything, the way you live. I will slowly destroy everything you once knew and loved. I will ruin your life until you don’t want it anymore. I’ve always been a winner, even when other people say you can beat me. You can’t. I will end you. Or you will end your life because you can’t live with me anymore. I’m too powerful for you to handle.
I am depression.
Spiritual health and wellbeing – relates to ideas, beliefs, values and ethics that arise in the mind and conscience of human beings. It includes concepts of hope, peace, a guiding sense of meaning or value and a reflection of a person’s place in the world eg. a sense of belonging.
I’m not spiritually healthy because I DON’T BELONG.
I don’t belong in this house. I don’t belong in this family. And most of all I don’t belong in this world. I don’t understand why I’m still here. I think my time was up a long time ago and I’m just sitting and […]
Suicide is not a joke. Simple as that. So why is it that some people have to go out and make a joke if it? And I’m not talking just like people saying they wanna kill themselves as an expression when something inconvenient happens because I do that too. I mean things like what happened today.
Mum talking to this guy and he really really likes me but I don’t really so our conversations are fairly one sided. I wasn’t talking to him because I said I was busy which I was, then an hour later he texts me again and said he was sorry but […]
Before you make that first cut, remember:
You will find the blood and pain realise addictive. Even though you think you can make a few tiny cuts that aren’t deep and will heal easily, they will get deeper. They will scar. They will take sometimes months to heal. And years for the scars to fade. If you think you can limit the cutting to one part of your body, think again. It will spread when you run out of skin. You’ll find yourself cutting in places you would never think of. Be prepared to withdraw from others and live in constant state of shame. Even if […]
I need to kill myself before summer. And it’s all because of fucking cutting. Like yes I want to kill myself real bad but it’s different now. Because now it’s not just a want it’s a need too. And there’s a time frame on it and I’m running out of time. It doesn’t fucking help that I’m sitting here fucking dripping with blood either but I figure fuck it. I’m gonna die before anyone sees the destruction I’ve made of my body. I need to go and I need to go fast.
I am abused. I’m in an abusive relationship with my boyfriend.
Every day, I get abused by him. Not just physically, mentally too. It’s gotten worse recently… He used to call me fat, he used to call me ugly. But now it has gotten so bad that. He will scream at me, begging me to kill myself. He tells me constantly that I’m disgusting, that nobody wants me (not even him), that I’m worthless, a disappointment, I’m an unwanted, shitty person and that I’m a complete waste of space. On top of all this, my boyfriend started physically abusing me about a year ago. He used […]
A year ago today was the last time I saw _____. It STILL hurts. Surely it can’t hurt that much for so long? I just want to know when will it stop hurting that ____ isn’t part of my life anymore. I think it hurts so much because ____ was my best friend and literally part of my family for her whole life and most of mine. A year ago _____ broke me. When I said goodbye to her it was really the last time. I tried for about 9 months to fix things to bring us together again but she didn’t care. Maybe our […]
I’m sorry… I’m sorry to everybody that I don’t have enough strength to get through everything anymore. I’m sorry that I’m hurting and need it to stop and there is only one way for that to happen. I’m sorry for being “selfish”, although I have never seen it that way. As much as I might try to blame this on my parents, my school, my work or my friends, it’s nobody’s fault but my own for letting myself live in such mental agony that I can no longer deal with.
First of all, I need to make sure that my beautiful cat is looked […]
Lately I’ve started to lose myself an everything I had always believed in. Like, I truely don’t know where my head is at anymore… And at the rate I’m going, I’m not only hurting myself, but also those around me. If I didn’t already hate myself enough before, I certainly have more reasons to now. People are telling me I’m changing and I don’t know how to feel or act about, I’m just lost.
I was already on the verge of death recently and had started to find no joy in anything I do anymore. I had been ditching school a fair bit the past month […]
im in pain. Waking up everyday my body aces every bone in my body’s hurts if it’s not my hips it’s my ankles if it’s not my ankles it’s my shoulders my wrist my back everything is constantly hurting. Sleeping hurts walking hurts I feel like my bones are so small they can just snap on me whenever It’s become an everyday to thing I’m not gonna say I’m use to it cause I’m not I still wake up in pain wanting to cry almost every morning. It’s become a challenge that I need to overcome. People have spoken to me about it a lot […]
There’s no easier way to say this – I need help. I don’t care who, what, when, where, why or how, I just care that I get help. I don’t get how everyone can say there is so much help you can get out there when every time I try to seek help, I fail. Is it the universe’s way of telling me that I’m hopeless and can’t be helped or I don’t deserve to be? Because that is how it feels. The amount of times that I have tried to reach out to a professional and been unsuccessful is not okay. It genuinely confuses […]
I hope you know I’m never asking you to see me again. I’m afraid to call you now because I’m being “annoying”. I’m not going to be making any effort anymore, that’s up to you. Things have been said, hurtful things – and with no explaination. I don’t have much trust for many people anymore but I thought you were one of the good ones. I hope you know that you make me fore more ashamed and embarrassed of myself than you think of me. I want you to know that you are the reason for my pain Rn. I want you to know that I […]
I honestly don’t even know why I am still here. I look back and think of how many times I have been up at night crying, sometimes for not much reason at all. I look back and wonder why I have been so ready to go but haven’t yet. I don’t have the energy to be here anymore. I dont have the social capability to function here anymore. It has taken me too many rough patches to realise that there is nothing keeping me back here anymore. I just know that I can’t handle being here for another hour longer.
I’m sick. What am I sick of? Sick of living a life that brings me very little joy. I honestly don’t know why I put in any effort toward anything anymore because it is useless. I think I need to get it through my thick fucking head that I’m fucking miserable and theres nothing and nobody who can fucking change that. I would say excuse the language but I’m done. I’m sick of all the bullshit I call a “life”.
She is supposed to be my cousin – family. She is supposed to be my best friend, my soulmate, the person that makes me smile and the person I can never stay mad at. But I’ve lost her. I would say I lost her yesterday but really I have been slowly losing her for a long time. Every argument starts with me calling her out on something, her getting mad and saying I always cause problems, then I apologise very well, she says it is not enough anymore because it always happens and is always “my fault”. I always am the one t say sorry […]
Im tired. But I’m not just tired because I need sleep and I’m not just tired because I’m exhausted. I’m tired of all of this bullshit. I’m tired of being in pain. I’m tired of trying so hard to not cry that I get a lump in my throat. I’m tired of balling my eyes out at night. I’m tired of the scars I’ll get and the way people will look at me when they see them at the beaches. I’m tired of all the pain. I’m tired living here. I’m tired of being on this earth. I’m tired of trying for people who don’t […]
I’m sure there are many people out there that are in the same boat as I am to a certain degree, but for me what I think about myself and my body are true. Every day I look in the mirror and see a fat, ugly and worthless person staring back at me. I want so so much to become skinnier and to actually change but I can’t do it. I can’t commit to anything and it is really affecting me negatively. I study VCE health and am taught that a factor of mental health and wellbeing is positive self esteem. I have every right […]
For anyone who has been reading my posts since I joined, would know that I, like many other people on this site, cut myself in desperate times. However, I haven’t in a couple months even when I wanted to. I realised that maybe it isn’t the best/only way to deal with problems and I hope other people can stop too. But the end of one addiction is the beginning of another one and unfortunately for my health, I’ve started smoking about 2 months ago and before that, did it probably once a week for a few months. Not a lot but still I’m doing it. […]
I always try
To never cry.
Nobody must see
The tears coming out of me.
On the inside
My emotions hide.
So nobody can see,
That today I cry.
Very few people in my life have seen me cry and I like to keep it that way. My friends think of me as always being happy and this has been true for a little while. However, someone new come into my life a couple weeks ago and really messed with my head the last few days. He made me feel worthless and question everything good in my life. It made me have other struggles with close friends which caused me to be so […]
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