General

i just had a dream about one of my fears, being pregnant. when i awoke, i had realized something..

the one good thing about me is that i’m ugly as shit. no body would want to knock me up or rape me because of that fact, so i don’t ever have to worry about being pregnant. another thing is that now that i’m 18, no pedo pretending they like me would not go for me anyway, since i’m now out of their preferred age range.

i suppose that’s the only good thing about me.

Life is bullshit (rant)
byu/SocraticLunacy inMutualSupport

Narcissus, by Carvaggio

I’m here I guess. I feel like it doesnt matter all that much… but I’m here.

I kinda feel like shit for what I’ve said/thought about the people I say I care about, like in the last post. I shouldn’t be so selfish… and I feel really bad now. I know some of them if not all of them, have issues/stuff going on and I shouldnt bother them… and I shouldnt expect or […]

Why is it you never hear about assholes getting ripped to pieces? The girl in this video seemed like a nice girl, into nature, a conservationist, was 19 or something and just starting out on her music career. Went for a hike and got attacked by coyotes. I mean I know these attacks are random, and not just animal attacks, but things like freak accidents. We hear stories of ppl just being in the wrong place at the wrong time, but somehow it’s never the assholes that die or get bitten or eaten or something. Like why is that???

I’m so tired of everything in my life. I wish I could call someone and ask them about their day, but I don’t really have any friends to talk to. I don’t even feel like venting. If anyone feels like it, please tell me about something nice that happened to you recently.

Bullshit Bullshit Bullshit

Read the reviews on Amazon plus a more detailed review on another blog. The blog had a favorable review of the book but I can see the bullshit coming from this book- The author literally used a “part-time” neurosurgeon working 40+ hours a week as their first example. Really now? Cutting down to 40+ hours a week is NOT working part time.

I mean, I get it. When I used to work, I worked 80-120 hours during the peak season. Non busy season, maybe 40 hours, but I was generally logging in 60+ on a […]

My therapist said that I should take walks in order to get me out of my depressive mood. I took one today, but I don’t think it worked. It just made me ruminate more. I thought about what gives my life meaning. I want to good and competent and be useful as an engineer. I don’t know anything. I’m completely lost and without any skill. I’m worthless because I don’t try hard enough to improve. I thought that maybe being a good engineer would give my life meaning. But since I’m not a good engineer, then […]

So. Tired. Of. Feeling. Like. Shit. All the fucking time. All I want is to fucking die, yet pathetically I grasp this little thread of hope of peace and a better fucking life, knowing damn well it won’t happen. Knowing I deserve all this shit. Knowing I’m just sitting here rotting and all I am is a pile of fucking rot. And I’m sick of everything. And I’m sick of my fucking family, I’m sick of my “dad” who doesnt even give a shit about anything but his work and new gf and her family. I’m tired of listening to my family ***** about God knows what while I […]

Or ourselves? -_-

Why do some of us have to be deep thinkers? Thinking only leads to unhappiness and unrest.
Why do some of us want MORE in our lives? Wanting anything more than the status quo or mediocrity leads to unhappiness and unrest.

Why do I have to be so depressed all the time? Life just doesn’t feel full of energy and life. Life just feels tired and having to drag our heavy asses around just to do the basic necessities.

So this girl (wife of a friend) is a flight attendant. I don’t know anything about her but that’s not the point. All she wanted to do was become a F.A. so she can travel the world. It’s a great way to do it if you’re young and healthy and can withstand being on a plane all the time, which she is perfectly fine with. She recently got married to my online friend, they have a house together, he makes very good money, she makes ok money, oh yeah they live in friggin’ HAWAII (jealous). But anyway, they’re both very […]

Objectively, things should be going well. I’m five months out from starting grad school. I have enough to eat, gas for the car, self care items like toothbrush and foot cream.

I just don’t feel it. I don’t feel any of it. I don’t know how to make myself want to get up and go. I just got back from the store, which I did by myself. Upshot I got some things I probably wouldn’t have if I had been accompanied, but I was hoping it would energize me, but it’s draining me. I got myself a strong cup of coffee, but even that is failing […]

Well here’s yet another group I don’t belong to bc of my views.

I’m reading posts from the Chronic Illness Group and this woman really wants to have children, but says her parent’s are very against it, and she can’t understand why they can’t be supportive. Someone commented, and not in a mean way, asking, if you can’t take care of yourself, how can you take care of children? (OP wants more than 1). Commenter says even healthy able bodied mothers have trouble bc kids require a lot of energy- which they do. And commenter says what about days when you can’t […]

my 8th account because i keep forgetting the password and username !!! My prefrontal cortex has since developed just enough so that I realized I can put the login info in a text file. Anyways.

my friend is in bad place and i feel like everything i say to him is useless. whenever i try to help other people it just feels like when people used to try and help me and my head was just static and dissociation. I thought maybe say something bold to cut through the static, but, i dont really know what bold thing can be said thats gonna change a household […]

Imagine a world where everyone who wanted to die could, and had a magic potion/bottle that only they can drink (so you can’t murder ppl who don’t want to die). Suppose if everyone who wanted to die did, or could, what would this world look like? I would very much like to see this world, and actually wouldn’t want to die if that were the case. Like I’d wait for Round1 and 2 to happen first, to see how many miserable ppl are gone and see if life improves.

The reality of it is, many ppl are unhappy with their lives, whether it’s […]

There’s something extremely destabilising about not having a clear idea what you’re living for. If I examine the narratives I tell myself about what’s keeping me here, none of them are sufficient to help me to live a functional life.

I’m not killing myself because of a strong attachment to an unrealistic and idealised fantasy of a possible life (romantic love, inner peace, freedom from pain.) But if it’s obvious that it’s highly unrealistic, then what good does that do me? What does it give me to work towards, to motivate me to get out of bed in the morning, to get my life in better […]

I’m in recovery. All is but a dream. The white board is swiped clean.

For a brief moment, I thought that if I was nice and treated everyone with kindness, that things would work out for me. That all my short comings wouldn’t matter and that things would get better if I was just nice. That’s kind of dumb. To think that. Really if you think about it, that line of thinking doesn’t really make you nice. It means you are nice because you want something. It’s like those people who think that a girl would like them if they are nice to them. In my case I thought if I was […]