General

For general topics related to the site.

8

  March 13th, 2019 by Atintofgreen

The Giver

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18

Rough Time

  March 13th, 2019 by Cause of Death: Suicide

I’ve been having a very rough time the last few years. I am in very much pain, mentally physically hell even spiritually. I have been trying to put myself down for 13 years. I have run into nothing but roadblocks. My one and only method that I held so dear to me for 13 years, I come to find out my state prohibits the sale of firearms to those who were put in involuntary hospitalization. And of course that was the only way I ever saw possible to get me the fck dead and out of this hated life, mind, and body. I was of …

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11

wisdom?

  March 12th, 2019 by spookichick

i am posting this piece because i am not in a good place right now. i am reflecting upon my past choices, decisions, paths that i have taken, and it’s not pretty. i am fighting to live for my son, which is a good thing. however i am not fighting for me. i realize now that i have made so many poor choices, that knowing what i know about what i have done to myself over the years, i am disappointed. i am sad because i am 53, physically and mentally ill, and i feel like it is too late for me to enjoy the …

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21

..

  March 12th, 2019 by Klownisak

This site ought to allow users to delete (or edit) their own comments on other posts then I could do it myself instead of having to inconvenience another member (the author/OP) to do it for me. If only it was that simple, hm.

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2

What Do You When You Tried Your Absolute Best and It Wasn’t Enough?

  March 12th, 2019 by Justanotherfaintstar

Throughout the course of my life, I have experienced a string of failures and have only occasionally managed to make the occasional breakthrough.

I wasn’t able to pursue the career I really wanted due to me not being skilled and experienced enough and there being a lack of entry level jobs to break in to the industry. Currently, I am unemployed and every job I interview for has 20 other candidates also campaigning for the same role and thus I keep getting rejected.

I don’t have enough money to go back to school and at this point, I regret ever going to school at all.

This natural spark …

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6

My thoughts on friendship….

  March 11th, 2019 by Looser_4ever

I’m supposedly a friendly guy, well at least that’s what the people I know tells me. But I think it’s a lie.

Right now I’m waiting for my college to start on June, and the weird part is my whole weeks almost a month passes by before I talk or chat with any of my friends. Normally I reply or call back immediately after someone contacts me. 

I also think that I myself am a friendly person, i always try to help my friends whenever they ask for it.

And i feel awful when I find myself all by myself, no friends to hangout with, i mean have

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19

Maybe

  March 11th, 2019 by EmptyPluto

Smiling everyday can become difficult, but there may be a reason to smile waiting down the street.

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1

long time relapse

  March 11th, 2019 by DreamCatcher

im back to where i started. years ago i self-harmed, i covered my wrists and forearms with cuts, moved on to my thighs and upper arms. i stopped. i was around five years clean, with three of those being with my then boyfriend. now i feel as if im losing everything. 

im cutting again, im drinking almost every night, i have some acid waiting for me at home. i always told myself i would never be this person again, yet here i am. 

i know i should stop, i know i should seek help. i think about killing myself every day but i know i wont actually

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4

  March 11th, 2019 by negar

Good creatures, do you love your lives
And have you ears for sense?
Here is a knife like other knives,
That cost me eighteen pence.
I need but stick it in my heart
And down will come the sky,
And earth’s foundations will depart
And all you folk will die

by  A.E.Housman

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2

One day a guy gets wise to himself

  March 11th, 2019 by Rainwatch

I remember a line in an old movie concerning the mentality behind suicide  “one day a guy gets wise to himself, goes up to the top of the empire state building and jumps off”, the part ” gets wise to himself” has been in my thoughts lately. I’m starting to get wise to the reality of my situation and there is no other choice for me but suicide. It’s been happening in installments, there has been no sudden realisation, just a creeping sense of losing hope. I heard about the suicide of a young woman in New York, her suicide note hit the nail on …

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1

I felt like posting this song with you

  March 11th, 2019 by hope432

I know it has been a hard day for most people here. May the angels bless you and heal your suffering.

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3

Living Dead Extermination Agency

  March 11th, 2019 by Yoges

What a great business idea! Suppose someone starts a hitman agency that makes the whackjobs of its suicidal clients perfectly painless and look like random accidents.

P.S. – If you know of one, please share their contact details. Fees might be an issue though. I’m shit broke.

 

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6

Sexual assault.

  March 10th, 2019 by TrulyAlone

I was sexually assaulted. By someone I thought I loved. By someone I held dear. By someone I cared about. I was forced down onto their bed. I was groped and rubbed when I didn’t give consent. I was forced to “return the favor”, per their words. Mental and sexual abuse from this person for a short time scared me. They threatened to leave me at any little thing I did or didn’t do. The worst part is, they don’t look like a person who’d do that. They don’t look like a person who would harm someone else. They look innocent, and they weren’t. I …

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3

  March 10th, 2019 by Tellmewhy

I have lived the most intense negative emotions and l am amazed that a human being can live them while alive
My mind is so fucked up
I have struggled so much, l’m tired, l need to stop it

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3

I felt how miserable my life is again

  March 10th, 2019 by nonexistingsoul

This past few weeks felt really lonely and embarrassing. I just remembered yesterday how miserable my life is.

I walked outside at night while crying and nobody cared at all. How lonely my world is.

I cried in my room while cutting my wrist and I felt the emotional pain rather than the physical pain.

Right now I feel like I can jump from a rooftop or be hit by a truck. Even though I always feel miserable all these years, I feel like I have the courage to die now. I don’t really get why I don’t deserve a happy life.

Please let me die. Living another day …

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1

Running on low expectation

  March 10th, 2019 by wearehannahbaker

Three weeks into antidepressants and met someone amazing.

It was all sunshine for a moment there but then it poured.

He told me he was moving away, wasn’t looking for anything serious and that he enjoyed being single. Running on low expectation all over again. I had to push him away since I was already having feelings for him and yeap that’s insane because we’ve only been dating for like a month. I guess people like us get attached too easily to any slight sign of happiness and when it goes away it feels like our world comes crumbling down. I haven’t stopped crying, can’t get out …

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1

Tired of trying but still doing it

  March 10th, 2019 by Lostlullaby

So here I am, a not truly  foreigner student in a not so foreign country. Germany, the land of my deceased father. I wanna learn every word, gather every single drop of culture that would make me a true German.

But at the same time I am exhausted and I lost appetite  again. I know where this is going : I ‘m already forgetting to eat, in not to long I’ ll lose weight again and go under the critical 100 pounds. From there losing weight will become an objective, an obsession.

But I don’t want to end in a loony bin in Germany so I have …

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9

Stigma and Ignorance RIP

  March 9th, 2019 by SleeplessMind

Tuesday morning I received news of my friend/former lover’s suicide.
His family posted a short “R.I.P. ______ , service Sat. At ________. Everyone welcome” via social media.
Nothing further was acknowledged. No written obituary. Just RIP, and done. Ridiculous, in my opinion.
Avoiding the stigma of having mental health problems seems to be a big concern for people around us suffering. Society doest point the finger at the sufferers if the family denies it’s there..

So, today I write a proper obit to a good man:

J*** H.
Though he was often a man of few words, he made the ones he said count.
His laugh …

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14

Usless Birthday, Useless life.

  March 9th, 2019 by NobodyKnowsorCares

So recently it was my birthday. I woke up that day feeling strange, like something shifted or moved. I wasnt exited that i was 19. I didnt get out of bed and yell “yes im 19!!” I didnt go on social media and boast it was my “special day”. I never even opened my phone that entire day. Maybe hoping id get one msg or call from somebody, anybody that even remotely know that i exist or its my birthday.

As i wake up i realize that i have no plans for today. I stay laying in my bed for a good 4-5 hours, thinking …

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3

addict

  March 9th, 2019 by Gary

Suicide is an addiction. Once you’ve tried it, it’s always in the back of your mind. Every day it is another option you can put on a to do list. As if you quit smoking and crave it every day but you just don’t fire one up even if you desire it so much.

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