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August 15th, 2017by agirland_acomputer

i keep messing everything up

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They tell you to leave your comfort zone

August 15th, 2017by ClairDeLune

But then the same people that say that fuck you over once your vulnerable and out of your comfort zone. People are so judgemental. I don’t even know why I am going outside now, trying to be proactive, trying to meet people, when the very reason that I stopped doing that/ never really started is that they are (almost) all full of shit, treat me like scum for being different and judge me for having problems that I am struggling to deal with.

They say I should try to be myself more, but why? Now that I am, people start shitting on me again. It was …

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…aaand I’m done.

August 15th, 2017by Shifty79

I died 6 years ago. My body just doesn’t know it yet.

I’ve always had problems, since I was a kid in school maybe aged 10. They progressively got worse but I hid them, worked around them, and did things to distract myself and cover up (some healthy, some not).

I’m Bipolar Type 1 with a one-off psychosis/absence event in the past, and previous diagnosis of Generalised Anxiety Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder. I have self harmed and had a major suicide attempt which I failed through my general shitness at anything I ever do. Threw up most of the alcohol & pills, was found on the …

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Millennials and Non-Millennials. You NEED to Watch This.

Hello SPians! I haven’t posted or been here in a long while. But as most of us in here, sooner or later, we all comeback for different reasons.   I shared this video yesterday on my FB, and added a lightly worded call to watching it. But here today I actually ENCOURAGE you to watch […]


Angry Insensitive Rant plus updates

August 15th, 2017by velveteennightingale

I know I’m a horrible person for saying this, but someone I know said they were experiencing “depression” from a medicine: “I had no motivation for the last months.” No. depression is: not having the motivation to get up each and every day, no motivation to eat/shower/live, days spent in bed, every night crying yourself to sleep, 50 cuts a leg to feel better, thinking about suicide every single fucking day. But everybody cares about her problems more than mine. I told my dad I sometimes have bad headaches where I have to lie in the dark and not do anything and he’s just like …


I’m stuck in this existence

August 15th, 2017by tardis21

My first post…

So I have bipolar disorder. Unspecified type. Spent the last year constantly seeing the mental health team. Two visits in a mental hospital. One visit to hospital after my OD.

I try to be happy but I’m just not. It’s so hard to pretend. I have ran out of energy to carry it on. After the first time I OD’D, the thought of ending my life excites me. The thought of the pain ending. Physical and mental. It’s all I think about. It’s so selfish since I have children. But I don’t feel of much use to them. My partner doesn’t understand I don’t …


A Dream For Another

August 15th, 2017by Mordred

It’s “the good life”. It’s a life of excess that I have been living for a month now, a stark contrast from the life I had been living previously. It’s not perfect, and it’s not free. But it’s a lot better then a lot of other people have.

In the midst of this lifestyle, I’ve even found something I dare not hope to be true–the possibility of accruing friends I actually don’t dislike. Good people living a good life. Is such a thing even possible? Does it even make logical sense from a game theoretic perspective for a ‘good’ person to exist in a lifestyle of …


My life is worthless

August 15th, 2017by nvm12

I’ve been really depressed and suicidal lately. I’m almost 26 and I work in fast food with no career. I have a certificate in software engineering and applied for a course at a company which can land me a job there afterwards. It made me happier for a while after I was contacted and invited for an interview, but today less than 2 hours ago I started feeling like crap again. At this point I feel like crying. I have a shift in 2 hours and I DON’T WANT TO GO THERE!! I don’t want to go to that f-ed up place and shitty job. 🙁

The technical …



August 15th, 2017by suicidaldreamer


just thought i’d share. have a lovely night/day, whomever you are, wherever you are! cheers!



August 15th, 2017by agirland_acomputer

Every night i get ready to go to sleep and i get off the phone and stare into the darkness then I just think and think and cry, internally. Then I get on the phone and stay up scrolling on Facebook and Instagram and respond to some unopened snapchats. I changed the song to something I know will make me upset but it’s comforting.  I get off the phone finally and close my eyes but then the feeling of emptiness creeps back into my body and the internal tears start again. I cant explain them and that honestly just pisses me off. I have no …



August 15th, 2017by WOODESITY

No matter how good times i had when i was a kid, i had friends and they were only ones who loved me and not my family. Now here I’m 21 years old, growing fast and missing old times, i know nothing’s going to be same and even better. I know I’m alone no matter how people tell me they love me and care.  Once i bought 3 bottles of benadryl and 1 litre vodka and after my aunt kicked me out of house i wanted do drink everything and than cut my both wrists deep, while laying down on ground somewhere far away from …


Here I am again

August 15th, 2017by agirland_acomputer

This is probably my 3rd account since 8th grade and im a JR now. I always end up back here because it’s people who understand and who are honestly supportive. They understand my constant f*cking pain and even my curiosity of what’s beyond “life”. I don’t know how much longer i can take it but whatever


I feel like A loser

August 15th, 2017by BeforeIGo97

I tried to be social happy you know the simple things but I have these friends but are they really friends I ask myself. I have fun hanging with them since I grew up with them and such but honestly sometimes they can really fuck up my mind set. Like making fun of me for being single or never have kissed a girl or a virgin like fuck. It’s not like I want to be single it’s not like I wanted to be such a fucking loser. I met someone yesterday and things seem to be going super fucking well we talked for hours even …


Going To Hangout With Some Friends Tonight

August 14th, 2017by Todamnbad

My friends are anxiety, depression, pain and suicidal thoughts. They always are right by my side.


August 14th, 2017by greeneyes7

Everyday for the past 4 months I’ve been thinking about doing it. Nothing has changed for the better and I just realized I have nothing to live for. I’m miserable all the time. I feel trapped every second of my life. My whole life is nothing and it’s ruined. How did I come to this point? 3 years ago today this was just a normal day where I was enjoying it with my family. But now I’m depressed and antisocial. I’ve failed my family. I’m the golden child turned black sheep. I used to be so happy. I used to be “normal.”  I know how …


First post, with a question

August 14th, 2017by uptheguff

I’ve been a lurker here for quite sometime, I have read so many post, replies and whatnot, that my head is filled with swimming thoughts.

I understand all too well, what has brought you all here…what has brought me here.

Seems, that most of wish to be free from existence, from the pain….we all have reasons why we want to go, some more than others.  We all have a reason that life is not as it seems but a form or “HELL”.

With all that in mind, I have a question.   All I want is death, all I want is peace, to no longer exist.

About 6 months …


My head is fucked.

August 14th, 2017by duringmydarkestdays

That’s all I’ve got to say. 


What’s wrong with those men?!

August 14th, 2017by LittleBead

Another freak that wants to date me or to be sexual with me. Screw them, I am so tired of it. Why does it have to happen to me ALL THE TIME? At least 2 or 3 times a month, and I’m just nice to them, okay? I basically do nothing to provoke them! What the hell is wrong with them?! Why can’t they understand that I want to be FRIENDS when I say it so many times or don’t show even a spark of interest in more than friendship? It’s so disgusting when I am (or try to be) a friend of someone and …


Does anyone else ever feel like…

August 14th, 2017by snader

… the world or the universe or whatever is just against you? I always feel like nothing good comes to me, without there being a negative side or event. Like it’s a give and take: if I do this and get this which I would like, what will I have taken from me in return?
Like an eye for and eye, something good for something bad. And it’s something I see confirmed in everything I do, and I know I know – the more I want to see it, the more I do. The more I think this is how things work, the more I’ll …


My hermit life: a boring rant

August 14th, 2017by Zoura

Lately I have become a hermit. I want to reach out and be friendly and make friends, but that hasn’t been the case in a long time. My long time friend was my only source of getting out of the house and letting me be myself. However, she has her own life and right now I am not apart of it. I am grateful being her friend but I know it’s time for me to get some new ones.

My first problem is that I am shy, and not the cute kind that is fantasized in books. No, I’m the kind that fumbles on my words …