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anxiety attack

by Charlotte
written by Charlotte

i dont know what to do anymore. it like my family doesent even care about me. i waited up for my mum and sister to get home to give them dessert i had spent over an hour making, just to get some sort of thanks, and they turn up with icecreams just for themselves, and said ‘ew’ when i showed then what i had made them. i feel so underappreciated and worthless. i started to get angry and my mum yelled at me to go to bed and she called me an ungrateful *****.

im in my room hyperventilating and crying for the third time today. […]

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40 yr old cutter

by SadSteve
written by SadSteve

I drove my dad to the doctor today.  I was sitting in the parking lot waiting for him while he was at his appointment and for some reason I pulled out my little pocket knife and started thinking about how I read on this site that people cut themselves.  I had cut a little bit on my wrist before but only when I was alone and never enough to leave any real marks.  If I recall this was over 5 years ago.  Anyways I keep this knife pretty sharp and I started in on myself right there in the middle of the Kaiser parking lot […]

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alone

by Charlotte
written by Charlotte

hi, im new to this site so i dont really know how it goes. i just really need someone to talk to because i feel so alone right now and i cant seem to be able to handle it anymore.

i have been cut free for 3 months. the only person whos knows that i cut is my best friend. or she used to be. she got freaked out when she saw and stopped talking to me. i now have no friends and my family hardly looks at me. my dad makes me feel like i should die just because i didnt manage to finish tidying […]

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I miss them… Though I shouldn’t really…

by greatpretender
written by greatpretender

This post might not make sence unless you’ve read my previous one..

I think i’m glad I didn’t look inside when his best friend was outside the apartment crying. The neighbor did… But something in my head said “don’t look in there, you don’t need to see. You know what happened, don’t be stupid and make the pain worse..”…. I kinds wish I looked…. Just to see how he died rather than just imagining and repeating the horror story his friend told me…… When we were standing outside as the investigatirs were taking the pictures and such, Roberts friend that witnessed his death broke the […]

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I should probably be sleeping

by butterfly_free
written by butterfly_free

Vaccines were developed and penicillin discovered and it seemed like a miracle. It stopped vast numbers of people from dying. But when plagues happened and other sicknesses it was a natural way to reduce the population. With less people there would be less competition, less stress, and a better chance for survival.
Just something I’ve been thinking about. I get on these tangents! 😐

Ps, is that a horrible thing to think? I worry I’ve gotten really twisted.
Pps, it’s not that I would like innocent people to die

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I Need A Helping Friend Right Now

by 13vida
written by 13vida

I have been clean of cutting for seven months. Seven. I am very proud of that, so freakin proud of it, but there’s just one factor. I want to cut. I have stayed silent for seven months, I have tried something new for seven months, feeling happy about the fact that I am clean, but the want is there and it will always be there. And since I am now living with my father for the rest of my teen life, I am freaking out. Over here, we can’t cut, we can’t get angry, we can’t get sad, we can’t do what we want with […]

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I used to be exceptional; now, I’m the exception.

by blindasoedipus42
written by blindasoedipus42

I’m in college and I’m an engineering major.  I have found engineering to be quite a difficult major and have almost failed a few classes.  That being said, I have been accepted into a program that is for the elite of my school.  I don’t belong there anymore and I want so much to remove myself from the program.  In fact, I was going to gracefully do so in February, but someone found out before me and told all of my friends.

Sometimes, I wish I could just quit engineering, but I’m in love with it so much.  I love physics and math even if I […]

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Skipping School

by FreakShow2
written by FreakShow2

Today was the first time that I ever tried to skip school. I’ve been so depressed lately, so I decided that I was going to take a nice break. I was going to go on a train downtown, watch a movie, get something nice for lunch, and I had an elaborate plan worked out that almost worked… until my mom saw me on the way there. I wound up being taken back to school and got sent to the guidance counsellor’s office where I, wisely I may add, did not admit to any suicidal thoughts. Believe me, though, when I say that killing myself right now […]

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What’s wrong with me?

by jax
written by jax

I finally decided after almost a year to seek some help again. The doctor had a cancellation and was able to bump me up for today rather than two weeks from now. While talking i realized that I can’t open up. I’m always vague when i try leaving the doctor to be vague as well which only pisses me off. Why do I expect the impossible of others to see that I am dying inside? Either dying or slowly going insane. I can’t be left alone anymore. Every time I’m alone the worst comes out. I lose all sense of reality which drives me insane […]

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Alone

by lonewolf23
written by lonewolf23

lone-wolf-source (4))

I don’t know what to do anymore…..I don’t know how to live anymore. I don’t know how to live in this world by myself……too long I’ve fought my feelings of giving up…..too long I’ve refused to accept the truth…..I’m ALONE…..and there’s nothing that can change that…..I have tried over and over again…..and all that trying just to fail over and over again….not a single friend made….I was born to live a lonely life…..I  was born to die alone…..And I’m tired of therapists telling […]

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Bullying is Hard to Get Over

by hopefuldreamer
written by hopefuldreamer

I cried myself to sleep last night because I was so frustrated everything just felt pointless and I was tired of feeling stuck and just wish I never got depressed in the first place. I feel like being bullied caused a lot of problems for me that led me to depression and I feel like if I dealt with bullying by talking to someone and telling those who bullied me that what they were saying was hurting me instead of putting my energy into hobbies then I wouldn’t be here. I developed so many bad habits because of it for instance: I hold all my […]

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I feel pathetic

by Mat
written by Mat

I feel so unsure about my life at the moment and I don’t know why.
I don’t know what to do after school and I am generally unsure about myself.
I am a 17, soon 18, year old male and I feel pretty much useless at the moment.

I have a great family and I don’t want to hurt them. I know that suicide will hurt them a lot because my uncle did it not too long ago…
I have never seen my grand parents so sad as they were after that. I just can’t stand the thought of doing that to my parents.
But at […]

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Rollercoaster, what one word can do with me.

by Engeltje
written by Engeltje

Today felt like a rollercoaster for me. my day started pretty good, yeah I had some troubles with waking up and getting out of bed, but that’s quite normal for me. I was at time for my therapy. I have 5 days a week therapy from 9 am till 3 pm. Well, also that started prettu good, until the section visual arts. We had to draw the vulnerable side of ourselfs. I became very emotional of my drawing (I was drawing the word ‘trust’ with the first t as a cross) and when we were done, we had to say what you’ve had drawn and […]

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What is Love?

by RUG
written by RUG

When I was younger, I was molested and beaten almost daily by my older sister who I idolized and looked up to. My parents would blame me for her violent episodes, saying that I provoked her. Whenever I would fight back, I’d be punished, by spankings with a belt, or they would take away things that were important to me.
Later on, my sister told my parents that I was the one who instigated the molestation. It was a very, very shameful night, me, sitting at the table with my family, my sister crying crocodile tears of guilt at 15 years of […]

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Why I am still alive – more than a rhetorical question

by abhi
written by abhi

Am I just too coward to embrace the death… Am I still too much attached to people around me and care for their for feelings towards me … Or Is there still some materialistic/physical comfort that really excites me and is unconsciously asking me to hold on to it … or there is really a purpose that divinity had decided for us and we can’t go before fulfilling it …
I feel that the the answer is none of those…
Instead the only reason that I think that I am still alive now is sheer curiosity ….. there’s defn some thing really exciting after death […]

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