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Hi. Tonight, I plan to kill myself. I will swallow my whole bottle of antidepressants. I am so happy it will soon end. No one can change my mind, I tried to ask for help and no one listened. If I hurt you, I’m sorry. I hope this works, but if (God forbid) it doesn’t, I WILL comment so you know. Goodbye. ~Alyx
I have no problem with the idea of committing suicide except I am not sure that suicide ends it. I want life to make sense just as mathematics makes sense. Life must be more than the period between the cradle and the grave. If there is nothing else or no further experiences to endure than suicide should be an acceptable choice just as picking up and going across country never to be heard from again. Trust me this has nothing to do with religion. While I am pretty convinced that there is a supreme intelligence, religion is truly the opium of the masses and has […]
I have given up on my own words tonight.
w1, w2:
Yes, strange, darkness best, and the darker the worse, then all well, for the time, but it will come, the time will come, the thing is there, you’ll see it, get off me, keep off me, all dark, all still, all over, wiped out– Yes, perhaps, a shade gone, I suppose, some might say, poor thing, a shade gone, just a shade, in the head–[Faint wild laugh.]–just a shade, but I doubt it, I doubt it, not really, I’m all right, still all right, do my best, all I can–
M:
Yes, peace, […]
at least in the sense that I’m no longer worrying about the future. I’ve decided to give up on myself, my species, everything really. I’m not emotionally attached to anything, have trouble connecting; this isn’t worth all the effort. People aren’t worth all this.
So I’m definitely going to kill myself and I know how, but the date is a ways away. I want to build up my little brother first; spoil him and pay attention to him the way no one did me when I was his age. He’s about to be hit by puberty and I think I can provide some guidance to […]
I’m old, at least I feel old compared to other entries I have read. Over 40, but my life has been empty since I was 16, I was ignored and neglected by my family. My mother died just before I turned 24, leaving me to try and raise a 9 year old half-sister whose father was an abusive alcoholic who used to beat me, threatened my life and even and threw glass liquor bottles at me. Though I was trying to protect her from that, she hated me for it, and wanted to live with her daddy. She got her wish […]
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take.
Apathy. Only feeling I have is compassion for those in this board and those in dire straits. Not enough to keep me wanting to live though. I just wish that I could find a way to make some fast money without having to resort to illegal means. Not that I fear death by those means but prison is an experience I’d rather not deal with. Adult prison anyway.Â
Of course I could just go now. But I want at least 3-6 months of slothful and decadent pleasure before I kick the bucket. Having worked since I was 14 and working two or three jobs most of […]
Hi, 3 years ago, at the age of 18, I ignorantly made the biggest mistake of my life and tried to kill myself for multiple reasons. I had a passion for a car called 350z, and I did everything I could to get my hands on one, so I worked a minimum wage job and eventually started paying one off. I was happy 🙂 then I met a wonderful girl that I immediately felt connected too, I fell In love with her. We dated for a year and I must say it was the best year of my life. Then i graduated high school, 4 […]
im happy, for once i woke up happy. im having a good day and hopefully it lasts.
since im being positive again instead of being so negative im gunna say a few words
Dear Everyone on this site.
i want you all to stay strong and keep your head up high, yes i know its difficult. but it is true what some people say. if you want to be happy sometimes you just have to tell yourself “im going to be happy today” and be very positive about it.
no one decides you future but you. and make every day count.
if your bullied stay strong and stick up […]
I can’t help but feel the pain that others cause. They do this just to hurt me. It works. I was sexually molested in school. I told the school, but they never did anything. They said they would. I try so hard to do what is right, but I fail. I cry every night because I am bullied. I draw, sing, do anything to get my head away from the fear of killing myself tonight. I don’t know what to do
To be not human. Sometimes I just sit for hours and watch my cat, he’s so happy and oblivious, I wonder how that feels. I know it’s a childish thought but it passes through my mind a lot. Our intellect is what makes us brilliant, but it’s also our biggest defect. We think much deeper and broader than any house cat. I’m not saying I wish I were a cat either. As easy as that would be I imagine it would be awfully dull, not that cats have a concept of dull.
I don’t know what stops me from doing it, I know my life […]
I just joined this site today. I am turning 17 in April and in the last four years I have had five attempts and the thought of dying burdens me everyday. It has taken over my my entire being, and I know its not what I want but when you feel something so strong and so often how can it not be the right thing? I know I’m weak so I hate myself for drawing attention to something I don’t even have the courage to do. I just don’t know what to do, and there hasn’t been anyone to talk to. I found this site […]
Every time my dispair has reached a Peak I find myself unable to convince myself that the last time I decided not to kill myself was justifyd. because since then things have only goten worse. I just Want the pain to stop. Why keep going just to suffer more? Why do people keep trying to make me feel guilty for just wanting a end to the pain I always feel? Sine I was eight all I wanted was to not have to hurt anymore.
This world is so corrupt and fucked. Entire civilizations run by fucking over the small people who care and want to make a difference. I don’t understand how a person could be physically capable of child abuse, spouse abuse, assault, murder and fucking over everyone for a little bit more money.
I feel like this world has crumbled and I’m wading through the rubble. I see bullshit, fake motherfucking teenagers my age that make me sick. The males throw away all dignity and kindness to try and get with girls. And the girls do the same to get attention they so desperately need.
I cant cry and I had no idea […]
discharged from the hospital 36 hours ago. for some reason I don’t feel that bad, as though there should be a reason I should. I feel content and calm. and yet a part of me is feeling uncomfortable– dare I say, terrible? things are OK, though I feel slightly more negative compared to my time of discharge. I had a fun night with Yonji and Corinna, and my friends are looking out for me, yet I don’t know why I should feel this way. I’m not thinking about death– or perhaps in a very abstract way — but I am longing for something, and I […]
I hate being alive. I’ve been thinking about suicide for most of my life. I’m 44, with two young children. Leaving them would be my only regret… But I think they’d get along better.
I just hate being here, there’s no point. I have no friends, no family. I can’t connect to people, never have. I was brought up sad and alone, and I’ve never been able to change it. Tried therapy and meds. Was on anti-deppressants over 10 years. I’ve got no one to talk to. Anyway, if I did I’d just hear how I should think of other people, that my release […]
Sometimes, it’s the small things that push you over the edge and make you look at suicide…First of all, the main thing that’s bugging me, my son got sick, and the doctors don’t know what’s going on with my baby. And I can’t help myself, much less him… So, he has lost 5lbs in 10 days, and I can’t get him to eat. Well, finally in the last couple of days, he has started feeling better. So, that’s one thing that has straightened up. I recently got out of a serious long-term relationship that ended well enough… And we are still roommates. The problem […]
everyday i think of shooting myself in the head. not as a bad thing. no it would be amazing. but one thought keeps me from doing it… what if hell was being born again? I cant go through all of this again that would be my hell.
I feel guilty about so many things…
I feel guilty because, even though I’m a horrible actress, I seem to have perfected the ‘art’ of pretending to be okay.
I feel guilty because my parents have had to waste so much money on me. Whether it was for therapy, or surgeries, or just fixing things I’ve messed up.
I feel guilty about lying to my friends and telling them “I’m fine”.
I feel guilty for putting my family anf friends through so much pain because I’m just to weak too fix myself.
I feel guilty because after my most recent attempt, I was laying in a hospital, barely lucid, with […]
Today I qot In trouble In school,first day back and already I’m qettinq In my old ways.The dean told me your a child so what does It matter what you say.I’m seventeen and I know for a fact that I’ve been threw more shit then all the teachers there but don’t really let people know.The only thinq I’ve reallly told anyone on this site Is that I qot molested when I was little.Like I said before,I’d rather have qotten raped once then to qet molested countless times.I love Houston but I can’t help to feel like If I was born somewere else like North Carolina or […]
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