General

every little thing is a weapon
my way to salvation
every sharp object; a blade
to cut deep into my veins
every cord easily tied to a noose
so I can dangle freely
as I squeeze out my last breath
every roof or bridge; the perfect height
for my final climb
every pill; a potent poison
when taken in the right dosage
everywhere I look
I see a thousand ways to die
everyday I’m alive
I daydream a thousand little suicides

It’s not supposed to be like this
I don’t know much
but I know for sure
it’s not supposed to be like this
Life may be grand
or maybe not
but one things for sure
it’s not supposed to be like this
The will to live; the fight to survive
God forgot to give me mine
or I had it once
and it just silently left
because it’s definitely not supposed to be like this

i gave up my dreams to have a family to call my own….something i never had as a child. i devoted my life to a husband who turned out to be a stranger! having had no real career, as i was mainly a housewife….i am flat broke. my husband cheated on me 5 years ago, and hence treats me like crap….i have been diagnosed with major depression. i attempted to kill myself 3 times. i burn myself with cigarettes and cut myself to distract from emotional pain…..which is unbearable… whereas feeling my skin burn or bleed is far more tolerable and even feels good! […]

I’m a 22 year old male. I’m not working and also been addicted to gambling for the last few years. My cousin, aunt, sis, and esp mum have already been approached by me several times for money. I’ve lost again this week and tmr is the payment date. My mind’s in a blank now, I don’t know what to do. Everytime when someone lend me money to pay my loss, I swear I won’t touch gambling again but it just failed. I feel so damn useless. My mum’s a single parent and she’s working alone just to support this family, yet I’m wasting away all her hard earned money. She […]

Just the other day my cousin broke up with his girl friend because he was done with her drama. Previous to this his sister had told me that he would stay with her even though she was a good girl friend because he loved her. Well when I figured out that their relationship had ended, I text him. Then an hour passed with no response, I got one of those “oh no” feelings in my gut and text his sister to check up on him, scared that he had done something that I’ve done before. He’s never really been one of those guys to physically […]

Hey! I’m in (as the title says) Turks and Caicos on vacation with my mother. It’s our second day on the island and I’m already burnt to hell.  My mom noticed my scars. At first she thought it was a bruise (I have a lot of small scars all in one area) and I said I didn’t know where I got it. Then later she said it looked like it really hurt and could she touch it. I of course had to tell her that they were scars because she would have realized what they were anyway. I’m disappointed because I have been using […]

so there’s my brothers graduation party goin on now and my whole family is over.. i hate it cuz everyone has sumthin good to talk about, how they’re doin good in sports and goin to college and working ect ect.. so what am i supposed to talk about? how depressed i am? how i think differently from all of them? how i dont just go with the flow and be a mindless drone like 90 percent of the people in this world.. when my family ask me whats goin on i mostly just respond by sayin ” nothing much” cuz i dont know what else […]

I’m looking for my blade, I can’t take it anymore.  I can’t take all the arguing and everyone pointing fingers.  They all thing it’s all about them.  They all act like they have is so fucking hard and they vent to me.  They all act like they have the hardest life ever.  I can’t take it.  Why can’t they shut up?  Why can’t they stop making things worse.  And here I am keeping my mouth shut, watching them go off more and more.  Why the fuck does this have to be my life.  I’m going to cut then leave.

It’s not right no kill yourself, I’ve hear it, I know it. It means to give up. We should fight isn’t it? Fight the problems, fight the depression, fight all the hardships and live. What if we don’t have problems? And we aren’t depressed? What if we don’t have what to fight for, how do you live with that?

I’m 19. I just graduated as one of the top students in my school. I’m admitted to one of the best universities in Europe. People say I’m smart, my friends tell me I have everything, the brains, the looks and the charm. And I am in love […]

Hi guys, I just wanted to make sure you all knew that I would rather not have any comments relating to religion/god/blahblahblah, I’m as anti-religion as it gets and I prefer not to be preached to.
I have problems and if you all think I’ll go to hell for wanting to commit suicide or what ever, well then so be it. I’m going to fucking hell :). (not like life isn’t hell)
I want to die, I want to rant about things and I want to just say what ever the fuck is on my mind on here. I don’t want people […]

alright so, i guess this is it then.

i just took a few drops of some sleep syrup to hopefully make things easier. i can feel it starting to kick in and my tongue is feeling kinda numb where the drops hit it, so i’ll go in a few minutes.

the method i chose is ligature asphyxiation. ANY ADMIN READING THIS, DO NOT DELETE MY POST FOR MENTIONING THAT, I’M NOT ENCOURAGING PEOPLE OR GIVING THEM IDEAS, I’M SHARING MY STORY, it’s ridiculous how you delete posts that mention any type of method, i’m sorry, this is just my opinion. but i guess you gotta do what […]

I wonder will i make it out of here before the whole world blows up?

I’m not gonna tell you what i’ma do or my plan or anything, at least not in this post, maybe in my last post in an hour or a couple hours.

but i will tell you that i’m done living like this, i’ve tried for long enough now, i chickened out when i was gonna commit suicide exactly 3 weeks ago, i was too stoned so i got creeped out when i got to the place.

anyway, i’m gonna finish this episode of Ghost Hunters International, then i’ll watch some king of queens and everybody loves raymond. friends and that ’70s show if my plan gets delayed

i’ll […]

I forgot about everything. I lived in my head but now that my brains old and boring my day is filled with hate and silence I can’t wait this will be so swell.the world is over populated anyway.you live old and die young.

My friend knew that i want to kill myself.And i know he wants to do the same. He made me promise to not kill myself which my stupid self agree too. Today we were talking about birthdays and junk. Then i told him and all the other people who was there;” I want to be like William Shakespeare. Die on my birthday.” One of them laugh thinking it was some kind of joke when i was being serious then i came out and said.”Im thinking of ending my life on my birthday.” He yell and told me to keep my fucking promise. But i just […]

I don’t really know why I am writing except for the fact that I have contemplated suicide a few times before this moment, but I haven’t really gone through with it.  I suppose I don’t take enough pills or wash them down with the adequate amount of alcohol to get the job done, and, probably, I am scared to do it as well.  I feel that I’d be doing everybody in my family a favor if I weren’t around.  I have a 9 year-old boy whom I love dearly, though, and a 13 year-old step-son who my husband and I recently got full custody of […]