General

Bill Plotkin has written a book titled ‘Soulcraft’, in which he describes how a person must embark on their journey to the soul by first embracing and descending into the darkness, no matter how frightening that may be.

He says “The book itself is a trail guide for the mystical descent into the under world of soul: what the descent is, why it is necessary, how to recognize the call to descend, how to prepare for the descent, what the process looks and feels like, and what practices initiate and accelerate the descent and maximise the soul-quickening benefits of the journey.” He warns that “it is […]

what doesn’t kill me makes me wish it did. I stopped being afraid of the dark when I realized nothing is darker and scarier than the darkness inside me. some people are just born with sorrow in their blood, like me. and other people on this site. everyone has a choice, they can be happy whenever they want, even suicidal people. but it all depends on how you want to feel, what to do, to forgive and forget, to be happy or in pain. well for me it’s just all pain. maybe I’ll be happy again someday, but I’m not willing to change that right […]

Ever since I became a freshman and moved to this new school, living felt like a slow, painful death.
The reason why they enrolled me in the school was because it had high standards in academics.
They never really cared for anything else.
I screwed up at making a good impression; I was shy; I wasn’t good at having conversations; let alone making friends.
My grades decreased.
My dysfunctional family didn’t help.
Decent days never existed in my new school.
It was crowded, noisy; nothing but chaos existed there.
It seemed more like a cage rather than a second home.
There wasn’t a place in […]

I have prayed to god for guidance, and he has answered to me.

God is not as judgmental as you may think. He understands our pain very well. Hes a really loving guy:=))

You wont automaticly go to hell if you comit suicide, but he will be dissapointed, if your life mission was not complete. God told me, that since i have learned to forgive those people who abused me as a child, that is enough for me. It was the original goal post set for my current incarnation, and i feel so happy about it. Im really like a totally different person now:)

Anyway, just wanted to […]

in my past i had been beaten, verbally abused, neglected, and raped. could this be why i have an eating disorder? im not quite sure what mine is tho. i usually consume less than 300 cals. a day and do an extreme workout (on dvd) 5 times. and i just wasted all of that time. i just binged out. i ate some of 3 types of chips, a sausage biscuit, a hot pocket, bag of skittles, and half a tub of icecream. why do i do this?

Thats how i feel right now weak. Im not strong like i used to be. I feel so weak i could be sick. Its not sane. Its not at all. Im starting to give up eating cause i dont have the strength to pick up a fork. I weight 113 pounds and i still feels fat. I probably wont eat tomorrow. Who knows what might enter mine mouth the next day. I dont eat breakfast. I barely eat lunch. And im starting to lose the feeling of eating dinner. What is wrong with me? Why has my eating habits change. I get in trouble for […]

i freaking cry every day. i cry myself to sleep every night and im tired of it. i just want this fucking pain to end!! I am such a loner. all my friends have forgotten about me, my family doesn’t care, my whole family has mental issues. and i keep taking pills, every day, more and more. maybe one day I’ll take too much, and I’ll die. yes,  I will commit suicide. why does God allow this much pain??! I believe in God, I know He’s real. I just have no freaking clue why He would allow this much pain. I know people who have […]

Hello, My Name Is Daniel, But My Friends Call Me Mahnoodle. I don’t know whats happening in these past few days… I guess reality is hitting me hard =/. I figured out that my best friend’s mom took her away to like a mental place cause she tried to commit suicide. Supposedly I’m dating three girls at the same time. And Just like…. Shit. This whole Week, I’ve been looking over life. Basically I’m terrified that my friends in a Suicidal hall…. I’m like the one who caused it. I like new she was having problems…. but they were little…… so I didn’t really bother with […]

So I’m making my final plans, working on letters and I wonder… What if it’s just as bad after? I’ve pretty much stopped believing in God because why would we all be in so much pain amd suffering while He just stands by and watches? But what if there is some sort of afterlife or heaven or some other shit? Is it going to be any different than it is now? Is it going to suck any less? Or am I going to hate each day more and more and have to committ suicide from that world too??

I’m just curious what peoples thoughts are….

Trying to imagine what it’s like to not exist. I’m serious about this, and I’m one of those people who always likes to know everything about something. I’m not worrying about screwing it up, I know what I’m doing and I’ll get the job done. Like I said, I’m serious about this, I’m not gunna start bitching and whining about why, but I do wanna hear from people who have accepted death. I’m not scared of the dying, or the pain, it’s just the whole…”not even nothing, no conciseness, no black, no.. anything, not even no anything”..thing. I realize that there will be no me […]

I have been in and out of pain for more than half my life. At 13 my father died and thats when my roller coaster started. After that i found out i was just a form that could walk. Ive been on and off the ledge so many times i lost count. what i can tell you is that your not alone. i didnt have any one to turn to so now that i made and i learned how to deal with it. Im reaching out to others to help them. if your just reading to learn how to help a friend DO NOT TRY […]

I just want to say, that im sorry for the people here who have a family. That is, the women and the mothers. I feel sorry for you, especially if you were raped!

I’ve talked to a lot of middle-aged family mothers here, and i pity you. However remember this;you always need a reason to live, and family can be that reason. It’s always better to be alive then dead!

As for myself…well, i died inside a long time ago as a result of the child abuse and “adoption” wich was the communist junta selling me away after they raped my mother!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/africaandindianocean/nigeria/8550792/Nigerian-baby-factory-raided-and-32-teenage-girls-freed.html

http://www.ethiopiantreasures.co.uk/pages/derg.htm

I just want to say, that […]

Hello world. I’m having a challenging day, and looked to the web, looking for something to alleviate my suffering. To make me stay another day. Lot’s of folks under 25 posting out there. Its good that you have a broader medium of communication than I had when I was your age. I’m going to talk to you, because I’m tired of being alone and talking to myself.

Good news- There are people out there who care and will help. Hospitals in my area have counseling and the folks are predominantly well-intentioned and caring.

There is something greater in life. I won’t tout religion. Google theosophy, or Kybalion.

Today I will […]

am a 21yrs old female, looking for anyone who would like to communicate with me. am suicidal, have being for as long as i can remember, and i have no social skills at all, which doesn’t really help with my problem. i feel like an alien, its like everyday i struggle to understand human behavior, and why we all have to follow this unwritten rule of conduct. am looking for an anonymous friend who is going through what i am, please, am not seeking help or a preaching, if i wanted that, i would see shrinks or go to church, just want someone who understands. […]