General

One day at a a time. One day. One. One moment. One long, long eternity where nothing changes. Nothing changes inside me. Outside me. The world, swirling in it’s little orbit and I’m holding on. For what? For the future I’ll never have because I can’t see past tomorrow. For the cat I’ll have when I live by myself because I can’t keep a relationship. For those days I wake up and find that I remember yesterday, yet I don’t really care anymore.

I don’t remember the last time I had a dream. Not a sleeping dream, a DREAM. Something I wanted, something I could strive […]

Think back to that boy, the one that only wanted to make you proud.
He did everything the best he could, hoping that he would hear those four precious words.
But you were only embarased and ashamed.
He endured all that you did to him, his strength would be enough to make you proud.
But it wasn’t it was only enough to anger you.
He learned to draw to make you proud, he learned to write.
But still, he wasn’t good enough.
He graduated early, and still he wasn’t even worth a thought.
No one saw it fit to tell him you weren’t his father […]

i need someone to talk to. i really need to. does anyone here have a messenger so we can talk? im so problematic 🙁

I stumbled upon this site tonight after searching broken heart suicide. Most forums seem to condemn the person who wants to die…..as if some people who contemplate suicide don’t already feel enough guilt as it is.

I don’t blame the person who last hurt me….but I wish would have understood the pain her words and actions caused. Same with my family…..I’m beginning to dislike them though. I do blame God, because he doesn’t care. Anyway, sorry for writing so much on my first post.

Go to sleep and close your eyes,
And dream of broken butterflies
That tore their wings against a thorn.
You know the pain that they have endured

Silver metal shine so bright
Scarlet blood that feels so right.
Dream of that blood trickling down,

And wake up just before you drown.
The moonlight shining off your tears
As you bleed out your worst fears.
So tonight when you start to cry

Whisper the cutters lullaby:
Hushabye baby, you’re almost dead
You don’t have a pulse and your pillow is red.
Your family hates you
Your friends let you bleed

Sleep tight with a knife,
Cause its all that you […]

This is my first post on this website. I was searching for a line from a movie when I found it. It kind of reminds me of the website in the book By The Time You Read This I’ll Be Dead by Julia Ann Peters. I think this website is exactly what I need.

So basically it all started in 2009 when my cousin Timmy, who had brain cancer, started getting worse. It wasn’t noticeable at first  but then his symptoms started showing, such as his inability to see straight or talk. He seemed fine until after his 8th birthday on June 24th. So my mom, grandma and […]

 My grandmother just accused me of haveing anorexia and if theres one thing i know i do not whatsoever have an eating disorder and i am not in denile right now.Im not eating suuuuure because im not hungry can’t people understand that i mean i know your worried because i almost passed out on the street today but that’s not because im not eating i mean i was HOT today and i also have a throat infection and stuff like that and then i ad like 2 sweaters on cuz my grandma thought it was gonna be cold.Honestly eating disorders is a confusing topic with […]

You are only here
when you need something
when you want something

Where are you
when I need something
when I need someone

Why is it not enough
never enough
to be there
watching listening and cherishing

What about my presence
drives people away
I’m tired of initiating
yet still being ignored

I would rather live
a life of complete solitude
but the moments
the random bouts of “friendship”
leave me emptier than I began

Apologies to those who would prefer I lived.  I have not been here long enough for anyone to recognize me or get to know me, but that is not important.  I spent the last few hours with an acquaintance of mine, one who is smart and successful, much like myself but content with his estate.  I do not know what I am doing wrong; I am talented and can make a success of myself.  Am I simply lazy?  It seems more likely that I no longer derive satisfaction from creating music, from creating literature, from creating hope for others or means by which others may […]

A poem , maybe it will help you get motivated

How to be alone

if you are at first lonely,     be patient if you not bein alone much

or if when you where you wherent ok with it  ,   then just wait you ll find is find to be alone

once you are embracing it, we could start with the acceptable places

the bathroom, the coffe shop, the library  where you can stall an read the paper,

where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there , where you can browes the stacks and smell the books

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