General

Sorry for wasting space on this website. I just feel kin of abandoned and hated. And theirs no one I feel I can trust anymore because I’ve been betrayed so many times. For me I feel that sometimes the only way to stopthe pain is to stop breathing. Forever. Anyway I just decided to post a poem I wrote based on a memmory. Sorry again for wasting space.
evergone

Only a blade
could shatter the sanity
of a child prodegy.
Left alone in an expectant darkness
that seems to slither and writhe around her

I recently thought about killing myself. I just recovered from lyme which was a near death experience seeing as i was blind for a year  and in a wheelchair for three months. I just cant think of a good way to go. Im 22 and my iPod seems to be the thing saving me. Whenever i go to the hosptial i bring it and listen to “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” and “Use Somebody”.  While other people here have serious problems i just cant get over the fact that i have the choice to die and others dont so many people need help but […]

I feel trapped in a confined space. As though in a coffin six-feet under, scratching at the ceiling desperately though knowing there is no escape. I feel completely disconnected from reality and from people. I want to unleash so many emotions that are inside of me, but can’t seem to express any of them. I have been living in this pain and emptiness for so long, and my ability to cope and manage is falling to pieces. I feel I will be crushed under this pressure.

im not normal… was told…well im sorry.. lifes complicated.. its hard to keep on track and stay perfectly normal…

have u ever experienced that cloud… a dark, fat, taking all the hopes away cloud… u never see it comming..  nobody told me  about its existance…

but once u under it…

what makes it so powerfull… i always believe that people are the strongest , until i saw the killer cloud

he left me, hes said im not normal… i saw it coming… i know i did my mistakes.. he did his…there was a point , where we realised we will never forgive it to each other.. but we kept […]

I dont know what’s wrong with me.

I dont know what’s wrong with me.

I dont know what the issue is.

Life- taken for granted.

tired of living in this COLD and Cruel world.

too much pain

too much suffering.

so much respect for those who make it through the rain

but i for one………………………………………dont have the strength.

17 years old. been so depressed all my life.

pretending the worlds alright

painting a smile on this pretty little face.

this pretty little face that people envy.

this pretty little face that has made me who i am today.

who i am …  or should it be who i was???

all my accomplishments

all my talents… each day i discover a new […]

the people who claim that it’s going to get better have no fucking idea what they’re talking about – exactly who are they talking about when they say it works – for some maybe – but they have no idea for whom it does or doesn’t work and they keep trying and probing – but really – they have no idea – so they’re doing it for themselves – THAT’s why they’re doing it – they have no fucking idea that while they keep us hanging on – it gets worse – hope – no hope – hope – no hope – hope – no […]

It all seems so useless. I live in constant fear. Everyday is trepidation. There seems to be no way out of my predicament. What control I had, I lost to alcohol. I seem to have lost my free will to alcohol. I lost years ago. Now I may not have another chance. All I think about is my gun and doing it cleanly.

Does anyone know how to make it work by burning charcoal in a small room?

I am not sure when I became invisible, it seems to come and go. I know I was invisible as a child, but for a time I thought, at least I was smart and funny, but now, at forty, I am invisible again.

Well I know I just added a few posts for others, but I should let you all know who / where I am.   I am 43 years old, have a great wife and a good daughter, but happiness has for all purposes eluded me.  I have done many things in my life, some of which I am very proud of, others not so much.  Some would was I have been around the block a few times and also through the grinder.  PAIN I know, JOY I don’t even have a passing relationship with.

One would think that a good family, a good job, the ability to […]

I feel … empty. I thought for awhile that I may never feel anything again, but to my dismay, the pain has returned.
I thought that I had friends, but still I am alone. Apparently I’m not the actor I had imagined. What a fake I am. I thought I could please everyone, but maintaining the illusions that are my outer shell has become tiresome, and more than I can manage.
I’ve been close to death before, but there was always a shred of hope that remained. I thought that one day I would learn to kill that hope, so I could leave this place, […]

A little introduction.  This forum is the closest thing to a suicide forum that I could find so here I am.  And speaking for at least myself here:  If you think that my posts are a cry for help, then accept that I don’t want your help.  In fact it’s people like you that do the opposite of what everyone asks you to do that creep me to death (pun intended).  Repeat:  I do not want your help, this is not a cry for help.  If someone spams me with a 1-800-number or reminds me that my coming absence will be hurting people realize you […]

hey guys, from what i’ve read on here, a lot of you have legit reasons for being depressed and suicidal. and to be honest, i feel like a complete douchebag because my reason is the suckiest of all: i’m so stressed out. i’m 15, a sophomore, i have two AP, two honors, and an upper level Spanish class. everyday after school, i have flag football practice for two hours. during the week, all the work piles up and piles up on me and it’s suffocating. not to mention my parents are constantly bitching at me for “having an attitude” when i’m just tired. they don’t […]

            I’m realizing how depressing my life truly is. It’s not a matter of how much the depression is actually affecting my life, nor is it a matter of how Caley fucked me up. It’s an actual matter of “Shit, my life is a mess.”

            I’ve lost God. I’m not entirely sure why, but He’s not in my life anymore. And I think that has everything to do with this. He’s punishing me for leaving Him. Why did I leave him? Hell if I know, but I did, and He’s gone, and it’s my fault.

            Maybe it’s these damned pills. Ever since Caley left, I’ve […]