General

For general topics related to the site.

6

Today

  November 8th, 2018 by Redrum23

Im gonna do it today….

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0

Relapse

  November 8th, 2018 by MidnightDove

i guess i technically relapsed today. i hadnt cut in 3 or 4 month maybe more. but i tried today. i didnt actually cut to cause significant bleeding because my knives are dull but they still managed to do their thing and trigger biological reaction. so guess back to day one. i dont think ill ever stop entirely. its like a biological cheat and my body knows it. ill keep trying not to do it often though.

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1

Faking It

  November 7th, 2018 by ravingbean

I have to put on a suit and act like I’m well this Friday night. Even the thought of hemming my pants is stressful. Should I get a real haircut?  I have a wild head of hair and cut it myself. I used to be part of something. Now I feel like everyone can see how I’ve come apart. I hope after a couple beers I can calm down and interact with my former colleagues. Maybe even eat. I used to look forward to this benefit. Now I just want to put on my suit and drive over a cliff.

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5

I have a plan!

  November 7th, 2018 by Old_tired_Aussie

I can’t believe it, I finally thought of something that ticks all the boxes. Yes, people will still be hurt, but not to the extent I feared most. I hope i find the courage to go through with it. Im not scared, I hate a life of nothing but pain, but I do still worry about the people I leave behind. It sucks to hate yourself but worry about others. Good luck to all, I hope you find happiness

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28

Purpose

  November 7th, 2018 by thewolf56

I do know that I want to have a child someday. That is my sole purpose for me to keep on living. But wouldn’t it be wrong for a child to be my only purpose to keep going?

I don’t know why it would specifically be wrong, but I don’t want to screw things up with my future child and this has been on my mind lately.

Let me know what y’all think.

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2

Who am I?

  November 7th, 2018 by WaterWorks

2AM on a Monday morning, and all I can do is stare into the darkness as I listen to most depressing music I know. On my bed, in a university residence hall in the heart of Mississippi, tens of thousands of miles from my country. I’m still wondering what I am. If I wasn’t a christian I would have let go months ago. Sadly, in the name of being a christian I thought God wanted me to get help for my “Mental Health Problems”. But telling someone “I’m gonna kill myself because I’m tired of being me,” always leads to them making the “What’s wrong …

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8

Intimacy

  November 7th, 2018 by velveteennightingale

Why am I so terrified of intimacy (besides the obvious reasons like the 100s of scars on my thighs)?  Does anyone else have to get drunk to be able to be close to someone else?

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6

a single mom

  November 7th, 2018 by spookichick

as each day passes, i am reminded of what it truly means to be a positive role model; specifically as a mother to a 23 year old “child”. unfortunately, i did not adequately prepare my son for adulthood. that fact is on me. as i have stated before on SP, i was heavily into drugs during my son’s growing years. during those years i reinforced to him that it would be in his best interests to not model me. he listened. i should have stepped up to the plate, quit doing drugs, and provided him with the teachings and guidance that he so richly deserved. …

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4

Convinced

  November 7th, 2018 by Cause of Death: Suicide

I think a beast is following me

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5

Lonely child

  November 7th, 2018 by PatheticMale

I´m now really starting to think that I will be alone for the rest of my life. It´s most likely because I am just a child stuck in an adults body. Classic example case of Peter Pan syndrome… and who the hell would want to date a child, right? If I at least wasn´t self aware of it, it would be much better. Like my father, he is literally a 50 year old kid but he does not even realize it. I would never let it go that far. I am killing myself when I turn 30 if I wont grow up till then. It is …

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4

Focus

  November 7th, 2018 by ravingbean

I always seem to think of all the things I haven’t done. Maybe today I will remember what I HAVE done. I’ve done a lot of good things. I’m a good person.

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2

Confused

  November 7th, 2018 by unsocialfreak

I don’t get it.

Here I am, years later just wondering how on Earth I once felt on top of the world only to find myself back here once again. Why is it that no matter how many times I change for the better, be it my friendships, my relationships, even my career goals; I still end up here…

I surpassed the date I thought I wouldn’t be here (It was merely a few months ago), but I didn’t feel as though I really accomplished anything. I didn’t register it which is most definitely a positive thing yet somehow I recently have found myself in such an …

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Lllllll

  November 7th, 2018 by Dungeon

I’m tired of making excuses
I don’t have the talent, motivation, or passion to succeed
I have to play the fucking clown around my friends so they don’t think I’m constantly depressed and suicidal.
“Yeah I was really bad a couple years ago but ya know I’ve gotten a lot better and those things don’t bother me any more haha”
That sort of shit and add acting like I’m carefree and absolutely unaware of reality.
Everyone thinks I’m just spacy and honestly stupid. I guess they’re not wrong but they definitely don’t know why they’re right.
To be fair they couldn’t care less about that either, honestly I don’t mind …

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3

Sense of belonging

  November 6th, 2018 by dancingwithdeath

I can’t find a sense of belonging in this world, it must be in the afterworld I will find it, or not it doesn’t matter anymore. It gets harder and harder to breathe, with the crisis mode on all the time, I’m going crazy sooner or later!

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0

I wish it was today

  November 6th, 2018 by Lifeistrash

It’s raining today. I feel like it has been raining all year. I want to go now. Right this second. I can’t stand the thought of hurting my family but i feel like i can’t stand the thought of continuing more. I know that people will miss me but i know it wont take long for them to forget my name. I have tried very hard over the past few months to make things better. I have changed everything around me. Nothing seems to be helping. I am so tired. I just want to go. Why am i such a coward?

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4

Not Today

  November 6th, 2018 by ravingbean

I thought today would be the Day. My pain would end. No more ugly face to face every day. No more me. Once again I could not make it happen. Hopefully tomorrow will bring a day that doesn’t scream to be the Day. Maybe tomorrow will be a day when I am able to get up and out and do the things that well people do. And maybe I can have a day that I don’t hate myself.

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4

Bleed….

  November 6th, 2018 by unknownsoldier

I want to know what it feels like to bleed.

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6

i regret telling her

  November 6th, 2018 by i am hollow, i am nothing

my mom makes fun of the fact that i’m suicidal. she says that people who are suicidal are egoists, attention-seekers. she keeps on telling me that i am the cause of my depression. as time goes by i hate her even more.

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7

No Reason

  November 6th, 2018 by ravingbean

I see no reason to continue living. I’m sick and depressed and I’ve been living like this forever. There are a few who care about me but I just want to die. No one really cares about my reasons. My gun is loaded. I will shower and put on something nice. I hope I can do it this time.

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11

Finally I can see what is good for me

  November 6th, 2018 by Cause of Death: Suicide

I will probably be attempting sometime this week. As I said, I have been putting this off for a long time seeing if there was anything left to live for. It seems I was right the entire time  and there is nothing good about being alive and I can never escape this sick hell any other way..  um, I was going to attempt on Monday but then I thought I’d get paid today. There’s nothing I’m looking forward to about getting paid, suppose will just give some of it to the courts that is due on the day and possibly finish this weeks work. (This …

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