General

For general topics related to the site.

1

disconnecting

  July 8th, 2018 by abede21

took the first few steps of disconnecting from this world. deactivated my facebook + messenger, instagram, discord. Still attached to my Twitter account, but I’ve refrained from interacting or posting anything. But I’ll abandon it soon too. Just want to have people forget about me for a little while before I go out with a bang. I’m only deactivating and not deleting so that my loved ones can retrieve the data I’ve left behind once I send them all my usernames and passwords.

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4

Fail fail fail

  July 7th, 2018 by OldCow

it has been about 7 months since I posted.  It was the day my mom died.  Since that time I have been trying to take care of her affairs, finances, house, bills, and trying to keep myself together enough to not loose what little sanity I had left.  Failed Miserably on that.  I cry every day and I find that I need more drugs and alcohol to just get through the days. I cringe when the phone rings and I actively avoid reading email just to not have to deal with the never ending bullshit.

After 7 months nothing has been accomplished other than paying asshole …

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0

Fuck my mind

  July 7th, 2018 by Sui_RC

I am not suicidal anymore. Not in the sense people use that word. I no longer want to kill myself. I fantasize about it. But no, I no longer want to jump off or OD. Maybe it is because I realised I’m incapable of such a bold move. I am of weak constitution.

Off late, this feeling has gripped me that my time is limited. It has become my go-to excuse for anything.

“Oh, I’ll do later, and even if I don’t and something bad happens, I’ll just off myself.”

Thats my most though-off thought.

I feel like my boat is yet still hitched to …

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3

I Really Was Happy Once

  July 7th, 2018 by thehusk

I often doubt my feelings about this. I tell myself nostalgia must be distorting my memories. That no one’s ever really happy, right? But then I look at the photos of me back then. And me afterwards. And you can see the difference in my face. You can see the fear creeping into my smile. The doubt. The desperation. All is no longer well.

When I say happy, I don’t mean permanently blissful. I still got upset, and hurt, and bored. I still wanted things that I couldn’t have. I still cried when I cut myself, and got scared by the monsters under the bed.

What I …

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5

Stuff

  July 7th, 2018 by spectralgiraffe

I ordered some art and craft supplies. Not really sure why… trying to make life more tolerable I guess. I really don’t want to do anything.

I remember one time when I was with my boyfriend he had come to visit. I left the hotel to go out. I walked a little up the street and then turned around and went back to the hotel. Boring!!! I thought.

Great.

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5

  July 7th, 2018 by freeroma


I thought of what I’ve been thinking and wondered how I got here and the state I’m in, and how I could go forward and how much I’d rather not, how they’ll be.

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9

Cya later

  July 7th, 2018 by Danthedead

So, Imma try and commit suicide today. I already have things ready, I’m only waiting for my grandmother to go out and it’s game over for me. Wish me luck, see you on the other side!

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3

Deciding

  July 7th, 2018 by plath0915

I’ve been thinking about doing this for a long time — just stopping. Just ending things and letting myself finally have peace. But I keep finding reasons not to do it; my mom, mostly. I’m not really scared of dying. I’m more afraid of what will happen to her. I don’t want her to blame herself, but I also want to stop blaming myself  everyday for every wrong thing that’s happened in my life.

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2

Empty mind

  July 7th, 2018 by Hulk

My mind is so empty, I feel like l’ve lost it. Have you felt this way? I also feel like it’s something physical.

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4

That Bridge Over the Rhein

  July 7th, 2018 by qetuoz23

I want to jump off that bridge over the Rhein that is 1km from my dorm.  It looks so enticing as I walk past it every day.  I am in Germany and am so far away from my family.  The friends I did have here cast me aside like a piece of garbage.  I reached out to my friend back home and she responded with silence.  I have been waiting for relief from this depression for a long time.  I refuse to buy into the delusion that I can just snap out of it.  I have tried to just snap out of it every day …

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4

Do I Hafta?

  July 6th, 2018 by rivets

I don’t wanna. Why do we have to live in this stupid society? It’s like being stuck inside a machine that’s got a whole lot of intricate components that aren’t designed together, and don’t function well together. Like trying to make smoothies with a blender with a gas engine and popsicle sticks as the blades. You have to hand crank it for a while and then everything goes splat all over the room, the blades snap off and you get a splinter in your eye. Fantastic. Who designed this stupid thing? They should all be shot in the street.

Us? Oh, no. We just have to …

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2

…..

  July 6th, 2018 by born.loser

just cant wait to the day i kill myself. dont have to worry about anything anymore

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1

Mornings

  July 6th, 2018 by purpleorangecounty

There’s this peace, I’ve heard a lot of people say they that have it worst in mornings. That they can’t get themselves out of bed and I suppose that’s true. I’m on summer break and all I do is stay in bed and watch Netflix, fantasizing about being someone better. I don’t know. Sometimes I just wish I was fictional. Anyways, there’s this peace when I first wake up, like I forget I’m myself and I’m actually excited for the day. I’m hopeful and happy. I want to find that peace.

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4

I feel everything is over

  July 6th, 2018 by Danielxooo

I wanna do suicide right now, I was a lier a typical lier tomorrow there’s a graduation my family expected my graduation and now they’re preparing for it, they invited family… I don’t know what to do I feel like it’s over for me I’m dead inside, suicide is my only option to escape from it… Please anybody help me ??

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3

idk

  July 6th, 2018 by etigbo

My partner was my only reason I got out of bed every day, and this morning I woke up to a long series of messages explaining how much he hates me and doesn’t want me around.

I wish I could live for myself, but I don’t have that much strength.

I was living for him. And now what?

I’ll stay alive for my family and friends, because I don’t want to hurt them. But they don’t make me feel happy. They don’t give me purpose.

My therapist doesn’t help. At all.

I used to be an artist, I used to volunteer with children and do all these amazing things.

But I …

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1

how can I knock myself out for a few days

  July 6th, 2018 by abede21

Is there any way where I can knock myself out for a few days without hurting my body? Or is that just not possible? Stay unconscious in a hospital for a few days?

Being awake and conscious of my own thoughts is just too exhausting. My parents have tried to take me out on trips and spent a lot of money on me to try to cheer me up, and as much as I appreciate their efforts, it’s not working for me. I can’t cheer myself up either. No matter how much I try to distract myself, it all leads to the same train of thought. …

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3

Oldtimer si back

  July 6th, 2018 by Harakiri3000

Ok, I was here back in 2010. Seriously considering suicide and I tried to kill myself few times. It was because of the depression, and chronic anxiety. Then I got better. But still facing my chronic anxiety. So I went on antidepressants which solved it. But only to face that my brother commited suicide in 2015. And again I was considering it afterwards. Then again better, but for tha past 10 months I went onto the road of alcoholism, my behaviour pretty much detoriated. And I’m now facing even criminal charges for some things I have done when I was drunk. It will be probably …

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2

OCD: A Cruel Joke

OCD: A Cruel Joke

  July 6th, 2018 by ShiSui

Have you ever heard of this type of obsession?

My obsession is about constantly questioning my sincerity of what I say, do, and think. I’m really bad with examples but it’s pretty much fixating on my intent towards almost everything, whether that intent was sincere or if I’m just faking it. I can’t convince myself otherwise I just keep doubting and obsessing if I’m doing/saying/thinking something for the reason I initially intended. Idk how to explain it any further because I’m obsessing whether this is a sincere post with the intent being to find others like me or if I’m just looking for attention. That’s really …

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8

Sinking Feeling

  July 6th, 2018 by purpleorangecounty

There’s this sinking feeling  and I do what any normal person would do, I google it. And there’s all these explanations, but they all have one thing in common, they tell me that it’s temporary and that it won’t last. Or they true to tell me to get off the fucking roller coaster. (Which if you google the sinking feeling you’ll be pissed too) I don’t know, I can’t get to anyone and I don’t have anyone. I dump my boyfriend and it was all good until it wasn’t and I don’t know I don’t know. I’m small I know that I’m a size zero …

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2

I surrender

  July 5th, 2018 by LostOlHope

The reaper beckons again… and this time I will surrender. I have been living on borrowed time. I was reading through my previous posts and I realized that I should have done this a long time ago. My struggles have only gotten worse with each year and now it’s come to a point where I don’t really see any future for me. Over the past 5 years, I learned to deal with my depression and anxiety. I can confidently say that I am no longer depressed, but I also don’t see the point in life. Despite the issues I had in the past, I have …

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