I’ve been a member of this site for about a year now and I’m just now posting for the first time. I was hoping beyond hope that maybe, just maybe, reading what everyone else had to say, what they deal with, how they cope, would make me realize that my life wasn’t as shitty as I thought it was. Unfortunately, it didn’t. Nothing seems to help. Normally I try to avoid talking in essays when I don’t need to, but in this case I’m going to say fuck it and just say what I want, because chances are I won’t be around much longer to […]
Rants
We’re all going to die anyway. Why talk about our problems. They mean nothing in the end. There’s no point in trying to connect with or help others. There’s no point in doing any of this meaningless crap. We’ll all just cease to exist one day and our bodies will either be burned or put in a box and then put in the ground. We’re all going to disappear one day and nothing that any of us do will matter. There is no point to any of this.
I think the great majority of us on this site has realized that life is pure and […]
Found it so difficult today. Have barely had the energy to move.
Slept most of the day managed to just about get myself showered and washed my hair. (After doing neither for 2 weeks…disgusting I know).
Feel like I could sleep for forever. Wouldnt that be nice? To not have to agonize over methods of suicide but to just fall to sleep and never wake up
I can’t silence the screams to jump, to crash my car, to cut so deep. The comfort I find in driving over a bridge, seeing a tall building or any other method of death is exhausting me.
I’m sorry for people reading this. […]
When my family tells me to stand up for myself and when I do they tell me that I’m not choosing the right path. I swear these people can’t make up their mind. It’s my life and my choices. I am the one who has to live with them. I’m 18 years old and in college for heaven sakes -_- . I can make my own choices and do what the hell I feel like. Jesus. I’m so ready to get out of this fucking house. They think I won’t leave. Smh. The stress I’m in I’ll pack my shit and leave tonight..
I don’t […]
Stress has been making me feel ill lately. My chest feels tight, I’m more tiered than usual, my eating habits have declined, I’m more confined in my room, and my temper had been flaring on and off. The only things I can think about to get away from this is running away, or just ending it. But those are things I don’t want to do. But this “family vacation” we are taking in December is making me stressed to the point of feeling sick. Why you ask? Here is why-
One: The Plane Ride
Two: The Other Family
The other family is an ‘old family friend’ of ours. […]
I don’t have anything. I am failing out of college, I am unhappy with my job, I am out of money, I don’t have very many friends, the love of my life/best friend just ruthlessly walked out of my life. I guess that is my biggest issue. I had been in serious relationships in the past, but nothing quite as emotionally invigorating at this one. We met about a year ago, last October, both working at a local grocery store to put ourselves through college. Around the time of the new year, it was evident that a connection was forming. We would grab dinner several […]
It’s been a year and I was better. I’m happy with the person I’m with.. Sooo happy… But my “mom” has now physically abused me multiple times. She is like an infected wound that just won’t heal, and won’t get better, only worse. I feel like smoking weed and drinking till I pass out, and I’ve never smoked, drunk, anything… Just goes to show that just because you’re blood related doesn’t mean you have to call them family…. F*ck me…
Hey everyone. 🙂
I know it isn’t long since I last posted, but it feels like much longer. Over the past few days I’ve been really wanting to write a post again. I’ve managed to write emails but when it came to writing something here I haven’t been able to. Most of this will be things I’ve said before, but I wanted to get them off my chest again.
I feel that my mental state is stagnating, although I still think meditation is helping. The same goes for keeping in touch with a couple of people from the site – it definitely helps to talk to people. […]
I am drained. I’m tired and exhausted of living in a body and in a world which I don’t care for, nor belong in. I have never really felt comfortable here, never felt a belonging that wasn’t as disingenuous as it was ephemeral, the only meaning, or purpose I have experienced, has been under substances, or even worse, from the euphoria of a biochemical imbalance. The only exception, the truly comfortable place, is this place in my head that I’ve known for quite some time; I would leave by my own hand. I hate myself and all of myself. All of the bits.
Although I […]
We wake up each morning- alive. We live, struggle, suffer, fall in love (if we’re lucky), have a bit of fun, suffer a bit more and then die. What’s the point of it all? What’s the point of going through all of this, actually putting in the effort to do all of this when in the end you will die? Why not just kill yourself now? Yes, life might actually get better, but what difference does it make when in the end everything will be taken away from you ? And what happens if life happens to get worse? You stay alive and suffer even […]
Hey guys. I haven’t been on in a while. My life really hasn’t gotten that much better. I did start on an antidepressant, but I feel more suicidal now. I started self harming again. I burn myself a lot. Life just sticks and I hate it.
Ever since middle school I’ve always wanted a bf. Almost every night I would cry because I thought no one would ever love me. When I was 18, my best friend introduce me to a guy. We started emailing each other a lot. I get really bad anxiety but that one day I decided to meet him. He picked me up, all he wanted was sex. He kept pressuring me to do it so I felt like I had to. So I lost my virginity to him. He totally left me after that. I was heart broken and sad again. I met this guy on […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
As I lay awake at 4 am, I keep thinking and I hate it. My brain rushes with unwanted thoughts. It keeps bringing up everything I’ve ever done wrong in my life. It sometimes gets so bad I just start hitting myself on the head. Sometimes in my head I have this guy I call him Ryan, I imagine him to be a perfect guy. He tells me how ugly I am and that I’m nothing. I also think that I’m on this reality tv show and my made up in my head parents are looking at me watching my every move. Making sure I’m […]
I’ve been meaning to post more often but most of the time I try to keep myself busy and try not to either cut or kill myself. Everyday.
Lately I’ve been feeling really, REALLY lonely and really wanting to find a boyfriend, but with my personality and me being very introverted and shy …. It’s really hard for me to approach really any guy or let any guy approach me … I’m just such a fail idk why I haven’t even attempted once more. Maybe this time it’ll work. Maybe I’ll fuck up myself even more. Who knows?
So my “friend” that I was talking to about my depression misread a text I sent her. Somehow she came to the conclusion that I want to kill my boyfriend. I don’t know how anything I’ve told her could be turned into that. But she called the police and they showed up at my house last night. They asked if I was suicidal and if I was planning on killing my ex-boyfriend and myself. I said no, and they clearly thought that the whole situation was stupid so they joked a little and left. Then my “friend” comes to my door, with her cousin. I […]
I’m a very cheerful person, in fact way too cheerful. I’m intensely outgoing and introverted, it’s hard for me to ever talk without having a smile on my face. I’m notorious among my peers for having a wild sense of humor. Nobody ever believes me when I tell them that I am in fact very depressed, and have been for a very long time. It’s very hard for me to be by myself because I get plagued by feelings of anxiety and suicidal thoughts. Most of the latter due to boredom. I am always bored. It’s something I’ve complained about from a very young age, […]
I had an account on here before, which I started a few months back. A little over a month ago, I had an extremely bad breakdown that lead me to attempt suicide (I had been thinking of it for awhile but many little things pushed me to it). I posted on here to say goodbye to everyone and apologize for wasting their time in reading my posts and trying to help me. I didn’t see any way in my life recovering, since the stack of shit just kept getting bigger and masked the few good things I had left. I was obviously unsuccessful in my […]
Lately, my anxiety has been so bad that even seeing someone else do something that I would find uncomfortable doing gives me an anxiety attack.