Latly I’ve been having these feelings that suicide is the way to go. It started out with depression and has since moved into these bad moments of me just feeling so horibble I just go straight to suicide. Its hard for me to open up, I’m Marine so to all my friends and familyni am su pposed to be the big strong one. The one who has it together. When its far from the truth. I recently took some leave to see my friends and family and while I had some good times, it wss hard to enjoy others since I was in a trap […]
Category:
Rants
When I was kind of living all over the place, she stepped in and helped me, even though I didn’t really like her. When CPS came and saw me, I went to church with her that day and spent the night with her. I was TOTALLY freaking out and she talked with me and stayed up with me till 1 in the morning. She laid next to me and played with my hair to calm me down. She took me for the weekend to her home town and we stayed at her parents and met her siblings and aunts. They were totally nice to me. […]
I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that i’m ready to leave. The only thing that keeps me here is the responsibilities I feel I owe my family. I’m 19 years old, and the only boy in my family. 2 sisters and my single mother. So you can imagine the huge amount of pressure I’m under to succeed. We have always been broke. Growing up my mother had many boyfriends come and go, many of them physically abusive toward her and me. (never my sisters though). As a child growing up I had Enormous potential, I’m extremely intelligent, there’s no denying as I have […]
I’ve never posted anything like this before. I have been battling depression for what seems like forever. Feels like I am dragging a boat anchor around everyday all day. I lost a good job, (my only means of financial support), sold my car to make my rent payments etc. Looks like i will be evicted in 2 weeks. Financially I am out if options. Not sure where to go or what to do. I’ve previously sought help and was prescribed med but can no longer afford the therapy. I feel like I am done. Exhausted and wrecked. […]
I guess I’ve been scared for a long time. I worry constantly about everything, so much so that people yell at me about my worries and about how annoying I am. I don’t know what will happen in the future – I don’t know if I’ll be able to change or if my depression will go away. I’ve had depression for about two to three years, and I haven’t seen anyone or told anyone about it, except for my best friend, but he doesn’t understand. No one understands. I don’t think I truly have friends, because they know me on a school-politeness-same hobbies way, but […]
So I managed to stay the whole day at school today, which made it a promising day. What was bad was what came after it.
I don’t know if it’s just me causing all of these problems in my relationship or if it’s naturally strenuous because of how me and my boyfriend are. Regardless, I got pretty upset today. To cut a very long, ongoin story/conversation short; I don’t believe he is making enough effort in our relationship. We never do anything, and all I’ve asked him is that one night when the majority of people aren’t there if we just take a walk down to […]
Its like 2:30, i’m still awake for no real reason other than debating whether I should go to work in the morning or just not go and die at a relatively soon timing. I’ve had serious thoughts about not existing since late elementary to early middle school and its just developed into a sad hobby of sorts. I’ve spent at least half an hour to an hour daily recently looking up different ways to kill myself and I think the only reason I haven’t done it yet is that my biggest fear is failing and being unable to make another attempt for whatever reason. My […]
It’s like fucking 5 o’ clock in the morning, a time in which normal people can sleep right? Well screw that! What a better time than this? This just happened to me.
I was talking to my best friend (and unluckily for me I’m in love with her). That’s why I’m awake.
So yeah, things were going normal until she said “I love you” and lots of hearts. For some reason I knew she wasn’t the one who was sending those messages. But then again you couldn’t imagine how happy I was.
Guess what? I was right. I then received a voice message that said it wasn’t […]
I’ve been on this website for about a week now.
I’m in therapy. I have been for numerous different reasons since I was 11, now 33.
I’ve told my therapist about being suicidal, that I have plans, that there are constant images at night, and I have access to guns.
Everything I’ve said is ignored. I don’t talk to friends or family about any of this – because I’m the one that everyone depends on to help them with their issues (doesn’t help that all of them know my degree is in psychology).
I’ve started developing better assertiveness skills… but the suicide stuff won’t stop.
I’m seen as “being ok” […]
I’m 49 – diagnosed and began treatment for depression and anxiety in my early 20s
I have 4 kids – none of my relationships worked so I am alone.
I have been on every medication there is to treat depression – nothing works very well
I don’t want to wake up anymore, been fighting this for so fucking long – my parents practically raised my kids for me – I was just not able to for the most part. I’ve failed everyone, including my Father, who died 2 years ago from cancer. I love my kids – and they’ve forgiven me, well 3 have. The 4th is estranged because […]
People say ‘just give it time, hang in there’ etc but what’s the point? It’s just more time to decompose, for your mind to deteriorate.
10 years ago someone said to me ‘you’re on the cusp of a really great relationship’, now that person is married and I haven’t had one relationship since. If that’s not a sign to slice your throat and let the blood pour out until you’re gone I don’t know what is.
None of my ‘friends’ talk to me anymore, or invite me anywhere, I never go out anywhere. When I texted everyone that I was changing my phone number no one responded. […]
I’ve just realised how vague my previous post was, which may delay the process in receiving some form of helpful reply.
Ill try to put into words this feeling.
I can’t do anything right. No matter what I say or do or how I look. The phrase “no-once cares unless you’re pretty or dying” comes to mind. Of which only one applies to me, and I can certainly say that my appearance has had no positive impact on my life. I feel empty but at the same time I feel nothing, so really the question is – do I really feel anything at all? Am I forcing […]
I thought by coming across a site like this would enable me to actually be able to rant about something, anything, so that my mind would be clear for a moment. But sitting here, typing this out, I’m struggling with how to put into words something which might catch someone’s attention who may be going through something similar. Someone I can relate to. The majority of people on here I suppose will all have similar background stories or specific tragedies which crossover with someone else’s, and so a relationship forms as these crossover people discover each other and help. My issue is; despite knowing the […]
For the past 7 years I’ve made decisions that only bring me problems. Every time it seems I overcome something, I’ll make a shitty decision that’ll drag me for yet another ride through unpleasant times. I can’t keep up with responsibilities and I’ve slowly but surely tried to get rid of them. One of the few things I was proud of in myself, the value I put in giving my word, is completely gone, as I keep telling people I’ll do something only to give up on it for what seems to be no reason at all. I was supposed to finish college this semester […]
Okay. today sucked. Woke up getting yelled at for shit I didn’t do. Went to sleep with people doing stupid shit. Okay so you should fucking know that if you have a damn headache , NOT TO FUCKING SIT AND WATCH LOUD ASS VIDEOS WITH YOUR GODDAMN HEADPHONES ON WITH THE VOLUME UP TO 100. But NO god FUCKING forbid you do it anyways. Is it helping you? DO YOU FEEL ANY BETTER? SO HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL? HOW DOES IT MAKE YOU FUCKING FEEL TO SAY YOU LOVE ME THEN FUCKING IGNORE ME? DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD? CAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE […]
So, I have nowhere to rant so im just gonna do it here. Excuse my incorrect grammar and spelling or confusing stuff. Here goes. Please stick with me.
Everyone who I thought was my friend just ignores me. Im never invited anywhere when all my best friends go out together. People never text me, I have to text them first, and they just ignore me. I’m fucking sick of trying to make everyone happy when no one gives a shit about me. Thats one of the reasons why I have depression. Now let me tell about other stuff.
Im not sure how this all started off. I […]
So, I know I’m a terrible person to people I honestly hate, but as for the people who I try to be nice to and care for… WHY CAN’T YOU SPEND FIVE FUCKING MINUTES WITH ME. I really don’t understand how hard it is just to get off an Xbox, or take a few minutes after you get off work, or a simple moment when you get out of school just to talk to me or hang out with me. I mean…. I actually TRIED with you. Even after I gave up on everyone else, I stuck with YOU. Not him or her, not the […]
My relationship with my mind is tumultuous at best. For most of my life I’ve had depression. Which is fine. It’s the only emotion I know fluently, and it has always been there, like an imaginary friend. Since I knew the nature of the beast I accepted depression as a fact of life, even to the extent I believed everyone was depressed.
I am more creative when I’m depressed. I can pop out decent poetry and short stories with little effort. My cooking and impromptu recipes are always more flavorful. I can draw very well, and music always sounds better.
When I’m not depressed, nothing meets my […]
I tried to tell this teacher. I’m trying to get across that its not exams that are the problem. Its not me feeling ‘low’. I just don’t want to be here, not at school, I mean on Earth. How can she understand this? How do I tell her that although I like talking about how I’m feeling when I get home I feel guilty and selfish? As soon as I get home I feel pitied and angry at her and myself. What’s Happening?
You know all hope is lost when that one person you talked to doesn’t help any more. Doesn’t get it any more.
Please stop […]
My job is going under, so I’m out of a job. I’m homeless already and can’t pay to stay anywhere now. I’m disabled too but they say I’m perfectly fine so that I can’t so much as get a disabled bus pass. I have been promised full time with benefits for the last 8 months and now they are going out of business. And my love is begging for a place to stay too, and I had hoped so much to be able to get my own place so he could stay with me. I know he’ll never be mine and now what can I […]