Every day its the same thing, a deep pain inside of me that pushes me to have no motivation or will to live. It just keeps getting harder. All the people in my town are stuck up and have huge egos. No one ever cares. It is so hard to live in a world where everyone can just betray and ridicule me. I don’t want to be on this planet but I don’t want to be selfish either. No one understands how much they hurt me and they continue to step all over me. One day I will believe things are getting better and be […]
Category:
Rants
How do you see your life? Be honest, not to me, but to yourself. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and just think. These thoughts are something you never have to share, and might alter your viewpoint on the world slightly. But, maybe not. I’m just curious how we’ve evolved to a world of depression and suicide. For anyone reading this, they have something. Access to a computer, a smart-phone or a tablet what have you. The ability to read English and thus more-than likely write it. For some this is a blessing, a privilege that a majority of the world can’t say they […]
I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like an idiot but I’m honestly hanging by a thread and at this point I’m just looking for some sign that this isn’t all pointless and that I’m actually going to be okay. Everybody has told me it’ll get better for years. It’s only gotten worse and worse so I feel desperate and stupid. I hate depression. I’m so tired of being in pain every day from something I can’t even control. It physically hurts my heart at this point, it’s so powerful. I just want it to stop. What’s the point in any of this? […]
i cannot ascertain, fathom, or comprehend any aspect. This singular existence forces me into an infinitely internal personality, i find myself within to the extent i am not within.
in my self i lose my self.
the intentional anitmony, contrived. it’sallasymptomatthispoint
So today my idiotic super religious nut job mom accused me of bullshit i I didn’t do again. And same as always sge didnt let ne me explain anything to her. She just went on and about How Gawd isnt going to bless me because im a lair and I need to get right and blah blah. Which to me is fucking hypocritical coming from this *****, she beat me with a belt naked all the time when i was young over bullshit i didnt do or because i bought home a bad grade. Now that im to old for her to hurt physically she […]
Well, i’m still alive.
Spent 15 years trying to kill myself. spent 3 in recovery.
it got better, for a time.
But any day would still be a good day to die.
i live risky. ride a motorbike, pass on curves n hills i cant see the end of, that kinda thing.
i wish it would be a mater of time but it wont be.
i’m doomed to live here for the rest of my miserable life.
i lived a shitty existence, i was a piece of shit for 20 years… now i have to spend the rest of this garbage life making up for it.
i feel like i’m walking through a […]
Explain this to me,
You post on your story that you want someone to talk to
But when I ask if you do,
You tell me you can’t
You tell me you love me
I wonder if you really do
Please just tell me the truth
I wish you the best, and I really do love you, but I don’t know if you love me back
Please just open up to me
I want you to be happy, but I can’t force you to, I think I’m going to crack
Wow, just wow. I’ve been doing better without any friends but it was really hard in the beginning. So after a week I check my messages: 0 Just why do I care so much…? When you’re someone, that has so much affection to give, what the hell do you do.? Seems like, everyone who’s not depressed, is just not much of a friend these days. Oh, to be 16 again and have a bunch of depressed friends and they have so much free time, you could actually form a ball of clay and stick together for forever. Loneliness is no joke…
Dont cry
You dont have right to cry
Oh why
Because you already know but you only asking why
Just try
I am enough with all these try
Ill die
Just shut up and let me die
I HATE YOU
THIS ME
THIS FAMILY
THIS WORLD
Have you ever kept the seriousness of your mental state to yourself.? Just to finally open up to a person and they’re not being understanding whatsoever.? Yeah, well. That happened to me tonight.
It’s night and I’m miserable. I’ve told my friend, that they have not been there at all, when I needed them to be. And I understand, that they are busy and I’ve been ever so patient. But it only goes so far, you know.? I’ve been feeling extremely lonely lately. I’ve just slept 18 hours straight. I’ve reached out to many people, just to get nothing back in return. Isn’t that already […]
At this point, the glass isn’t half empty or half full, the glass is shattered and the pieces are embedded deep in my flesh. I have final “insurance” if you will, I’m just waiting for the right time to use it. I’ve practiced over and over. It’s not a matter of if I choose to make my exit, but when. And oddly enough, having a surefire “insurance” policy helps me through the bad moments, the mere knowledge that I can reliably end it when I choose to do so, when the time comes, is almost enough to bring me peace. I’m playing a sick game […]
Shit is pretty fucked right now in my opinion and those who are reading this might not think so if I explain it to you but my brain is freaking out about everything and I think im going to try to write and post when I’m upset and having a panic attack. I’m also just figuring out how the website works again. I used to read on here when I was 12 but it’s changed a lot since then
I’ve lost near all hope, yet idk what that entity is and why It keeps this flame alive. But when that time comes I’ll know I would be free to do anything without guilt and insecurities.
All i know is that this hope holds me here, chained, while oxygen feeds into my soul. The air feels thin. The weight feels heavier. The people.. those parasites. They refuse to understand that we are barbaric by Nature. Crule and capable of extreme physical and mental dangers to the living. Pretending that Light is bright enough to chase out the darkness. But in this world you cant have good […]
It was back in January. Our friends and I were sat all of five feet away from her casket during the service. She wasn’t religious, but they held a service anyway.
I felt like I couldn’t be seen crying. My friends were distraught, feeling sick and bawling like newborns. I was like a rock. I don’t think I cried at all. How sick does that make me? The monster who didn’t cry at their friend’s funeral. What’s worse is I’m now realising I never got to break down like them. I didn’t cry for hours or get comforted by doting parents. I was left […]
After years of destroying my skin in times of desperation/crisis/stress, I thought that I’d managed to replace it with better/healthier/safer coping methods.
I thought I had finally started to stabilise.
I should have known better.
hi, my name isn’t actually mary but i’ll pretend it is to stay anonymous.
i’m a 13 year old who is struggling and wants help. i just want someone to listen to my rant.
my parents are getting divorced. i dont really exactly know how to feel but i hate the way i’ve been feeling. ive been using food, games, and music as a coping mechanism. i’ve gotten so unhealthy and unhappy mentally and physically. i’ve had to move to a whole different country just so my parents could get divorced. no one has realized this has been affecting me so much. it’s been almost a year […]
I’ve been thinking about things that have happened to me a lot lately, and I have realised that I am stranded, stuck, lost, alone in this world now.
My parents, as much as I love them dearly, have no idea about what I’ve been through, and wouldn’t (couldn’t) understand if they did.
My friends don’t understand why I am not the same, why I am not the old me. They have noticed that I am not miraculously better, even after being given time and space.
The only one who does know, is the one that left me like this, and they don’t care. They just went back to […]
Hello. I randomly stumbled across this site. Maybe it can help or maybe it its a waste of time. who knows, but here goes nothing.
I am a 30 year old African American male in Columbus Ohio. I recently moved back after my mother passed last month. It has been very devastating to me physically, emotionally, and psychologically (like death usually is from my understanding). I cant sleep well, I have to force myself to eat, and many days I dont even want to get out of bed. This stems from so much in my life while on the outside looks as though I’ve achieved much, […]
i don’t know why i’m writing here. there is no hope for me. none.
i’ve been contemplating suicide for many years but never had the guts nor the impulsivity needed to do it. all i hope in life is for death to arrive swiftly and painlessly if possible. i plan on jumping from a high building but my brain is so foggy i might not gain access so easily as i thought i would so plan B is the good old hanging, wish i could jump hang myself but i’ll probably fuck it up. i am really afraid of just damaging myself, i especially fear brain […]
[rant alert]
I’m unlucky. I can’t even begin to say how unlucky I’m. Maybe I just fuck myself up, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m fucked. I’ve nothing. I would top the school back-to-back in the mid-tests and mid-exams, but then my body would randomly decide to put my life in danger during RE/TEE. I had acute health complications, both physical and mental. I survived Varicella in grade 10 and Enteric flu in grade 12. I had only 30% attendance. Although, I still managed to score 97% (with two 100/100) and 92% tho, I didn’t top the school. That sure was embarrassing — note: […]