Category:

Rants

Need for a relationship. wtf is wrong with..

by Urm8451n 12/27/2017

written by Urm8451n

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Why am I feeling such an urge to find a girlfriend?

I have completely accepted that I don’t and will never have a dad in my life, and that my biological dad is still out there alive nothing giving a shit about me.

I have accepted the fact that right now my family is in debts and that I have to spend as less as I can.

I have accepted that I must succeed and do my best at the university to find a well paying job.

I have accepted the fact that I don’t have time to […]

12/27/2017 12 comments

My heart hurts it keeps pounding

by beautifulmonster 12/26/2017

written by beautifulmonster

I’ve taken that many muscle relaxants I’m suprised I havnt oded. I just want my heart to stop hurting. I’m calling rehabs like a lunatic at 6:30am. They don’t give a crap.

No one does. I have no one. My heart hurts so much. What is this pain?

I’m
Willing to give up my New Years to spend in rehab. Loser much. How did I get here how?

I’m a good girl. I’m
Nice. I’m loyal. I help people.

Why is this happening to me.
Someone make my heart stop pounding pleass

12/26/2017 2 comments

Memories in Reverse

by SunshinesBlackhole 12/25/2017

written by SunshinesBlackhole

So the boy I was falling in love with died less than three months ago and I’m okay sometimes and other times it’s worse than when I got assaulted years ago and thought I was dying.

Memories of him always pop up, always freeze me up, make me break down and hide away and I’m fairly used to it, but I’m the past few days I’ve been having memories of him that never happened nor could ever happen, because, well, he’s dead now.

I see him and I playing in the snow together. I see him surprising me with cute things. Celebrating the holidays. I feel myself […]

12/25/2017 2 comments

There is only one truth. . .

by Us3rname 12/22/2017

written by Us3rname

. . . And it is nothing.

This has been my first post. Thank you very much for reading.

A bit about me?

I’m from New Zealand, I was a really happy positive out going popular child, always aware that I was adopted, always knew my birth mother though I’ve only just seen my birth father and his family including my two half-brothers I never knew I had for 38 years last week at a pre Christmas get-together (totally full on). I was the sort of child who’d invite their entire class of 40 to their 6th birthday causing all sorts of headaches for their parents (this happened).

I […]

12/22/2017 4 comments

There’s so many people. Yet no one to talk to.

by hollowchest 12/20/2017

written by hollowchest

How is it so possible to feel so alone.. when we’re supposedly so connected.. I go here to vent to rant to just get it off my chest. Say something anything even if nobody’s listening. Even so, it’s way better than bottling everything up in my soul. Feel like at any moment I’m ’bout to blow. Where’s a gun when you need one? All I have is this imaginary one replaying in my head. The sweet release of death. Oh how comforting it feels. Like home. The warm embrace. The darkness where everybody acknowledges who I am. Among the ones who felt the same. Wish […]

12/20/2017 1 comment

Going away

by TheRoadSoFar 12/19/2017

written by TheRoadSoFar

3 years ago, back when I entered high school, I decided to change schools with the sole purpose of leaving behind every single one of the fucks I met back in junior high school. Those 3 years in junior high school were the beginnings of my depression, and I thought a change of scenery would help. Ironically, everyone else left that school, except for my friends (at least on that time they were my friends), so my plan didn’t work out quite as well as I was expecting, so I started high school alone.

I forced myself into socializing, and I met A LOT of people, […]

12/19/2017 2 comments

Not sure

by kay29 12/19/2017

written by kay29

Don’t have anyone to spend time with, and I’m the friend that no one wants around. Not sure why I’m here anymore.

12/19/2017 1 comment

Punks

by lonewolf23 12/19/2017

written by lonewolf23

I hope nobody hurts my mom. She drives for Uber and she makes some nice money doing it. I just hope none of these butt-hurt taxi cab drivers do anything stupid that’ll piss me off. I understand that Uber and Lyft is kicking taxi bumpers left and right but there’s no need for these taxi drivers to take out their frustrations on my mom who isn’t trying to hurt anyone. She’s just trying to make a living just like they are. My mom tells me stories about how taxi drivers ***** and complain to her about how they ain’t getting as many customers as before […]

12/19/2017 1 comment

you

by lonelygirl645 12/18/2017

written by lonelygirl645

you made me happy. I was dumb for letting you go. I was dumb for not making time for you. I was dumb to set my feelings aside because I was scared of what we could be. When I finally wasn’t scared, and i told you everything I felt, I found you moved on. With another girl. It’s been a month, I should be over you. I’m not. I’m nowhere near over you. Why can’t I let you go? Why did I let you go?

12/18/2017 1 comment

Her Timeline

by SilentVoices 12/16/2017

written by SilentVoices

Before she was aware, she moved across seas. Of course she wasn’t aware, she was only 3.

By the age of 5, she knew something wasn’t right. Protecting her siblings while her parents fight.

From K to 12 she struggled without support. But even with uneducated parents, her grades were in good report.

Her home-life however, left much to Desire. Constant fighting and screaming and emotional fire.

At the tender age of 8, she would lie in bed, wishing she were dead.

Withdrawn and silent, she turned 14. Dragged to the psychiatrist for her mind to be seen.

Finally diagnosed with Severe Clinical Depression. She was given drugs, but to her […]

12/16/2017 8 comments

Old Grouchy Douche Bags Rant

by lonewolf23 12/16/2017

written by lonewolf23

A message to the asshole who will never read this. “FUCK YOU!” i can’t stand assholes like you who believe the world revolves around you. I apologize if your too brain dead to answer a simple question but its my fucking job. I ask if you have a Safeway card and you react like I just asked you to solve the worlds most difficult riddle. Its a simple yes or no question. I ain’t asking you to wipe my ass! Oh and if pulling your card out of your pocket is too hard then why even waste your energy driving to the grocery store? I […]

12/16/2017 4 comments

That time of year

by dietcigarette 12/14/2017

written by dietcigarette

I feel like I’m going to implode if I don’t get this out somewhere. Here feels like the safest place. It’s gonna be kinda long, and a heads up for mentions of self harm and disordered eating, I guess.

Lately I’ve been preparing myself for what I’m calling my families own civil war. It’s been creeping up on us the past few years and this year is the year when everything is going to go to shit. My brother is likely being placed into foster care, my dad needs to move but everywhere is far too expensive, my grandma is dying and her medical bills are […]

12/14/2017 2 comments

I was already bad, and then he died

by SunshinesBlackhole 12/14/2017

written by SunshinesBlackhole

So, I first wrote on here in 2013 talking about my budding depression.

I’ve had lifelong issues: chronic illnesses, abusive parents, bullying, many sexual assaults, death of family members, panic attacks, self-harm, suicide attempts.

I wrote in here when I was fourteen. I’m nineteen now, a sophomore at a good college. Decent GPA. I haven’t cut myself in years, I was seeing a therapist, on some helpful medication. I was better, never good, but better.

I had a bad breakup a few months prior. I was getting diagnosed with yet another a new chronic illness. I was estranged from my friend group because of said breakup, and my […]

12/14/2017 4 comments

by aphids 12/13/2017

written by aphids

my name is payton andrew, well- on the internet it is that. it’s currently almost 9 pm,,,such a weird time it is. i’m always tired at 9 yet i’m never tired enough to fall asleep. but then again alot of time it’s like that

i’m sounding dramatic, aren’t i ? well,,i’ll just get to the point on telling my life story. i want to get this out in case anything happens to me in the next few days.

everything that has made me as fucked up as i am now is because of my family. when i was 7 i had to watch my mom beat my […]

12/13/2017 2 comments

by aphids 12/13/2017

written by aphids

i used to look to the stars and see them as a source of hope. of dreams that i could follow

i don’t do that anymore. now the sky is full of stars but all i can see is darkness and i want to disappear forever. theres no hope for me, theres never been any

i’m prolonging my death because maybe that hope can come back. people say christmas brings hope and joy and maybe that’s true

but for now i’ll just ?? sit in the darkness and wait. theres nothing that i can do as i’ve tried and tried and tried to get help but every attempt […]

12/13/2017 7 comments

being your illness

by onemorehour 12/12/2017

written by onemorehour

i lost my grip about 5 years ago, i started thinking that everyone i loved hated me, that they would leave me, and so i pushed them away.

i had been through a lot of trauma with the people i loved, people we loved had killed themselves and as we always took life as it was a little harder than the rest, i thought they would understand, that they would stay by me as i had stayed by them, that they might help me out. they could not handle it and i manifested the abandonment through my paranoia and dramatic cries for help that no one […]

12/12/2017 1 comment

Empty Promises

by AZSAM 12/10/2017

written by AZSAM

If you believe in God, I want to know why. I’ve tried, hard. It all seems like lies and empty promises. I’ve done what was asked. I followed the rules. Nothing good ever happens. The love of my life just walked away after 2 years. I’ll never get over her. She’s not perfect but sure as hell was perfect for me. In every way. For 2 years, I prayed, cried, kicked and screamed. I begged God to find a way to put us together for forever. Ultimately she decided God didn’t want us to be together. What!?!? He never talked to me about it. Church […]

12/10/2017 25 comments

Considering it

by fumperthucker 12/8/2017

written by fumperthucker

Recently I’ve begun to feel as if my life were stagnating. I’m somewhat physically attractive and monetarily successful to a degree but my entire life I’ve always been kind of depressed and alone feeling. Western society tells us that to feel fulfilled we need a loving romatic companion. But modern day society destroyed that. Everyone trears eachother like shit and all men care about is sex and all women care about is the objective gain they can get in a social ladder from dating the most attractive man. Every once in a while nice girls will come along that I share much in common with […]

12/8/2017 5 comments

Death or Love

by xoamaro_ 12/6/2017

written by xoamaro_

I wanted to die, I planned everything. Then I crossed paths with a guy.

It’s death or love. I don’t want to live, to barely survive. But this desire of love is growing bigger inside of me. Would I want to live to love? To truly experience what it’s like to love and to be loved? Because I want to die. Death is so much more bearable than life, I don’t know why this is making me doubt. I know I’m not loveable and that I’m only fooling myself. But it feels so real. Would this one reason be enough to make up for all the […]

12/6/2017 4 comments

Disorganized thoughts

by RiloMor 12/6/2017

written by RiloMor

It’s not like I haven’t tried to speak my mind to, tell someone. In fact I have been hospitalized for my depression, 7 day lock up with medication and a councilor to ‘talk about it.’ But why did they believe me when I told them it was because of some random girl making fun of me for being gay and trans-masculine. I don’t know why I’m depressed, or why I panic when I’m near people or feel the need to just scream for no reason. Why did they think it was another person hating me when I was hating myself for not knowing why I […]

12/6/2017 0 comment

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