why is school so hard? I’m not meaning academically but the people, I can’t help but feel judged and people look at me and laugh and it doesn’t help that I hate my body but today was awful. In Spanish I sit by two socialites and they always try to talk to me in a nose way and today they kept looking at me and laughing. Every time I did I only tried to hide my face and go away. It’s so hard to ignore these people and no one seems to get it my friends don’t help or anything and I just feel like I’m […]
Rants
i cant i cant i cant i cant i cant i cant i cant i cant i cant i cant i just cant
my religion condemns things like drugs and suicide and alcohol and i never thought id ever think about things like that but about three years ago everything changed and then again about a month ago everything has changed again it was getting better and i should have know i dont know why i thought i could ever be happy the worst part is i want to die so bad but i know i wont kill myself and i just feel like i […]
So. Here you are. Reading a note from some strange Internet lemon about how they’re gonna kill themselves.
Well. I guess it all started when I was a baby lemon. I was raised by a robot mother. I went to school- hmm? …. what’s a …fah-thur? Anyway. At about 9 I had my first existential break down and tried to hang myself. The pole broke (silly lemon) and hit me in the head and mom came home and didn’t suspect a thing and I didn’t reattempt because she was home. I’ve been cutting since then as a secret solution. A self cutting lemon. Bitter and bleeding.
I’ve […]
haven’t been feeling like i need food or sleep. hallucinating a little, not really all visual but smelling random things and occasionally stopping what i’m doing to listen … i either cant get out of bed or i’m pacing the house and organizing things. its funny how they can tell what state my mind is in based on my hair, its sticking up everywhere and I wear the same clothes(I usually lose track of my days and end up getting too comfortable in them).
i feel so lonely. and pointless.
i realized i don’t need to make enough money for a coffin/service, i don’t need a funeral. i […]
College is just sinking in, as well as the fact that I have to transfer soon, and there’s homework to do but I can’t bring myself to start or finish anything. Nothing matters anymore. What do any of my goals matters? I keep asking myself, why doesn’t my life matter anymore? Why have I stopped caring? Because life’s too hard and I’m stuck in my comfort zone (chained by fear) without a clue as to who I am. Because nothing’s going to come my way easy, because I’m so pathetically anxious that it’s hard to keep a job so I’m financially screwed unlike other ordinary […]
I’m 18 and I’m a girl.
My life is not as bad as the way the way I perceive it.
But compared to my dream life it’s quite
Dull and disappointing.
I love singing and I’m a good songwritter.
It’s what I would wish to successfully do for a living.
But it won’t happen. Because I’m not good enough as a person.You need to beautiful with a perfect body and an even better personality to get people to like you and believe in you.What I’m working with is simply not enough.
So I hope,pray and hope to see some kind of a miracle happen.But it never does.It appears that my creator is […]
Is he, she, they, it around?
I’ve lurked in here for a number of years and never really wondered about it.
What is the story behind the “project”..?
Can anybody share, does anyone know?
Do You Really Want to Die or Do You Just Want Your Pain or Your Struggles to End?
There is a difference. And a BIG one.
…problem is, how to tell?
Life is a game. This is not real, everything is fake. Love is a game. There is no such thing as true love, its a joke. Everyone just messes around with other’s feelings. This is all fake, we are all living in somebody else’s imaginary world. This is all pretend, like just think about it… why exactly are we alive if we are going to die in the end? Everyone likes shortcuts, and suicide is a shortcut to life. There is no real point in living, you do something bad in society either you get noticed and then punished and never heard of again; or […]
***WARNING *** TRIGGER CONTENT***
This is so fucking gutting. SO sorry for her and anyone else going through rough times here and elsewhere.
I’m in tears. She had SO much going for her. What a filthy worthless piece of shit family she had, the poor
little angel! She was beautiful, smart, MATURE for her age, and wonderful young girl…
PLEASE, talk to somebody. Reach out! If your family isn’t helping, go to someone who can.
Here’s YouTuber Mr. Gunk’s must-know facts about Katelyn’s life…
https://youtu.be/wi4ZhIjVAeg
So, i finally cracked.
I told them i hurt.
I told them i loved them.
They saw my arms.
They cried.
I cried.
They told me they would get help, and told me to get some exercise before bed, wich i despise to the very core.
I went to a psichologist and i was pretty honest with him, we went on a LONG shopping spree and came back home.
They told me that i can’t cut again, that it’s forbidden, that there are other ways. they told me that they love me and they care.
Come on now, they didn’t notice a teen with a bloodstained, long sleeved shirt on summer for years and […]
Why is high school so importent. I plan to go to a tech school to learn certain skills, but me learning how to talk to someone from another country doesn’t matter. For example, I have to be active, so I can”t be an office all day as a job and my learning algabra 2 doesn’t hep me reach my goal of being in and active job. Another example is that I want to be a medical doctor, but me learning how to paint doesn’t help. So I wish high school wasn’t required to get a career because a lot the thing I have learn or […]
Frustrating. When Life Keeps Betraying You Even After Death. “A Ballad of Life: Aram Niakan’s Suicide Story.”
https://youtu.be/CF-HEPj6ZPM
It’s a slap on the face. It’s fu*king insulting how some unfortunate ones are screwed over in death, just as they were in life.
There are so many places/countries where they don’t give a rat’s ass for somebody’s last will that it’s enraging..!
“Such a lonely day. And it’s mine.”
For crying out loud. Literally.
It’s barely past noon and I’m sinking within me again.
Hadn’t felt like this in a couple of weeks and here it goes again.
It’s come to the point where I guess I must accept the fact that I
struggling with depressive episodes…
Such a lonely day
And its mine
The most loneliest day of my life
Such a lonely day
Should be banned
This day that I can’t stand
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
Such a lonely day
Shouldn’t exist
A day that Ill never miss
Such a lonely […]
It’s back. In a few weeks, if I had to guess, it’ll be back in full force. I could only get 4 hours of sleep at a time, which is a change up from easily managing 8-10. I can feel walls closing in and for whatever reason I can’t stop thinking about cutting, despite it being almost 8 months since the last time. I can feel the colors getting muted again and I’m losing patience with mundane things. I’m beginning to wonder if seasons play a role since the worst time of the year for my depression has consistently been the first several months of the […]
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to my near-monthly shout into the void called the internet! Today, we present the second installment of a worthless piece of dog shit trying to reconcile their guilty conscience to no avail!
God, I am such a freak show. I’m not even saying this shit to be “edgy” or whatever. I am actually fucking hilarious to watch. I’ve been replaying memories of my worthless life and let me tell ya, it could win a fucking comedy award. Hok shit.
So, first, I honestly thought that my parents wanted me. Holy fuck, that was a good one. My parents? Ha. Wanting me? God, it’s […]
i am so fucking worthless. from my head to my toes, i hate myself. i care for people who dont care about me, and maybe thats my problem. maybe thats why i feel so worthless.
it hurts when you know that youre always the one there for your friends. whether its 2am or 2pm, youre there. dropping what your doing to support them, because thats the kind of person you are. the kind that cares too much and falls in love too hard. maybe the reason why im always there for people is because i never want them to feel as alone as i do. because […]
Hello everyone, my name is Daniel, and I think I’m going to commit suicide very shortly, I want to anyways, not sure if I will though, since things in life change so much, but I hope that moment arrives in a week or two. I don’t know where to start, I’m done trying to figure out why I’m like this, why I have suicidal thoughts, why I cut myself, why I feel so much pain all the time. It sucks, it really sucks to be this way, I don’t believe in destiny, but I cannot avoid feeling like I am trapped, and have absolutely no […]
Ok, so yes we all know why we are here on TSP.
One way or another, we’re all SPians.
But if you were to go (and we all will someday) but had
the time and opportunity to give your departure a funny
or humorous twist, what would that be? You know, you
get the last laugh sort of thing.
I mean no disrespect to any of you for your struggles.
It’s just a thought.
Take these people quitting and look at how they left their
jobs in the best of ways for inspiration. They checked out of
their [former] workplace in style!
every time i think things are getting better, they just go to shit again. i just want to fucking feel happy in my life, but apparently fate doesnt want that for me. i continuously ask myself, why arent i good enough? why am i such a fuck up. why cant i do anything right. you see, i have a boyfriend who ive been with for nine months now. i can just feel him getting tired of my shit. i say i love you to him and he doesnt say it back. he doesnt even seem to give a fuck about me anymore. i mean hes […]