I’m merely lost and confused. I’m torn between sticking with the person I am now or going back to the person I was before. If I go back to who I was before, I wouldn’t care anymore. I wouldn’t be hurt and life would be easier. There was no concept of if a life mattered before, it was just me and my brother that mattered. There were no friends, no relationships, no anything. It was silence, cold, welcoming, silence.
The person I am now cares too much, sheds too many tears. I’m insecure and don’t want to trust anyone. The people I do try and trust end up doing things that ruin what little trust there is. I feel like I’m losing my mind and overthinking everything, but at the same time feel like every thought had reason behind it. I don’t know if I’ll go back to who I was before or stay the same. Just wanted to ramble and get a little pain off the chest.