Rants

0

Day of the thorn, For the rose now despises me…

March 10th, 2017by CARLOSPEJUAN

I worked
countless hours
I ran,
distances many men are incapable of doing
I did things that while moral and proper left me exhausted
i, I never, ever have worked so hard in my life
I ran things, boss like. To no avail for I failed a lot
I did things hoping that one day I could see you again and hoping
that I co uld be there for you and hoping that I could be that person,
That you  looked up to, that person you could look forward to being
the reason why I stayed around
the reason why I worked so hard
the reason why I never gave up (offered myself), the reason why I …

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17

If You Talk Enough Sense, You’ll Lose Your Mind

March 10th, 2017by strangesoulspirit

It doesn’t matter what I do.

I have been to three hospitals in an effort to save me from myself. I tried to explain my feelings of pointlessness to the doctors. All I got was medications shoved down my throat and a longer hospital stay.

I tried to explain myself to the EMT in the ambulance with me. All I got was a lecture of how selfish I am, and then he showed me pictures of his cats.

I tried to explain it all to the nurses. It was funny to one that I watch crime shows and Grey’s Anatomy and was suicidal, but if I didn’t watch …

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7

Please help.

March 9th, 2017by afterdark000

Honestly, I dont even know why I want to kill myself. I dont know why, but I just want to.

I want to give up on my life. Everytime I look back on the things on Ive done, it makes me want to cry.

To be comepletely honest, while thinking about registering here, I cried. I then spent the next hour deciding to sign up or not.

My mom walked in on me just now. I tried hiding my face and wiped the tears away, but she saw me for a second or two probably. She asked why my eyes were red. She then went on talking about …

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4

The Stars are Too Bright Not to be Seen

March 9th, 2017by every_nightfall

A few days ago, a classmate noticed the cuts on my wrist.

Today, a friend of mine saw the cuts too.

I told them it was nothing, that I only got them for being mean to cats (Don’t get me wrong, I love cats.). I know what I said was such an awful thing to say especially when even you can see the truth beyond your own lie. It’s just that I couldn’t quite think of anything to use as an alibi anymore.

I’m afraid sooner, more people would start to notice the slashes on my wrist and think I’m a weirdo, or worse they might think I’m someone …

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11

Countless Scars (i’m new here)

March 7th, 2017by every_nightfall

Would a person die when he’s dead?

Or would he only feel more pain?

I knew I’m already suffering from depression a year ago but it’s only last week that I started to hurt myself physically. It just happened. I don’t even know when or how something sharp came into my hand to slit my wrists. All I know is that I shove it on my skin and felt the burning pain beneath. And that it felt so good. To finally feel the pain. To finally divert my attention on my bleeding wrist rather than what I feel inside.

It was the time my brother came to …

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2

Game of Life

March 6th, 2017by lxmyrick

I bet a lot of people have heard of the game “Life”.

 

It gives you all the happy things in life like a family and a great career, and a great life.  But the issue is that is really life.  In real life you will lose loved ones, you will have issues with money, you have good times and bad times; but the game “Life” is all good things in life.  I wish they made a version of this game of reality.  One where you can learn relate to the game, not a pretend game.

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6

Why is she so good to me

March 5th, 2017by Ka7613

Fuck her.  Fuck her for making me comfortable enough to tell her things.

I accidentally let my mental breakdown seep into my conversation with my girlfriend.  I told her everything.  Told her how I want to die, how I want to hurt.  She understood.  She always understands and I hate her for it.

She was hospitalized when she was younger for an attempted suicide, and fuck her because she understands and I hate it.

I worried her.  I never want her to worry about me.  I worried her so much that she showed up at my house and stayed with me all night.  We talked about life, death, …

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2

Oh boy

March 5th, 2017by simple.sushi

I’m Karen. I fee pretty lonely a lot and no one around me is ever even here for me. Been super depressed for a while now and I’m so annoyed by it. My family try’s to help but they really don’t. I have a girlfriend she isn’t much helpful either along with her friends which were my friends too but they totally hate me because of my depression. I hope this feeling leaves me be but for the mean time I guess this will stay like this.

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3

No one deserves to know..

March 2nd, 2017by nonexistingsoul

Hi. I’m back. The day was the same like any other day. I feel hopeless and I still made bad decisions. I made everyone around me mad. haha. I never change, do I. I always make things worse. I want to die. Last night I confessed to a friend about what’s happening to me. Know what he said? he said everyone experienced what I’ve been experiencing now. He said I shouldn’t let everything affect me. That I should just be positive cause I’m not the only one who’s suffering in this world. I shouldn’t be selfish he said. haha. They are all the same. Always …

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1

Mirage

March 2nd, 2017by Jazzmoses

I’ve known him for five months. We met in a psych ward. We try to hang out every week, usually three days a week that I spend at his place. I’ve met his family. Cooked and baked with him. We have fun together, we laugh together, and we have sex. I remember when we started this thing, he mentioned no strings attached. Is friendship a string? Scared of breaking this illusion.

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5

Exhausted from Fighting

March 1st, 2017by lostsunshine

I can’t do this anymore. I feel so much pain all of the time. I constantly put on a fake smile but I’m getting so worn down that I can’t keep it up much longer, I just want to sleep and never wake up. Every time I try to make a new friend group they just end up insulting me endlessly and make me feel completely wretched and then they leave my life forever. I’m tired of being abused and hurt. I’ve had virtually everything happen to me in life: manipulation, rape, living on the streets, physical and mental and emotional abuse, stalking, mother calling …

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6

I feel Alone

February 28th, 2017by Nugget

I’ve complemented suicide since I was 7-years-old, it’s tragic and horrific knowing children experience such thoughts so young. I come from a family where discipline means a visit to a room with the doors closed and anything at hand. It meant having to contain my tears and cries or the pain would just get worse. At 13 I got bullied for being Hispanic, it was the first time I realized skin color had a meaning. I was stereotyped as a Mexican whose dad left and the only thing I’ve ever accomplished was hoping the border. My mother at that time would make my life at …

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13

The police…

February 25th, 2017by Elliot97

tl;dr left my flat with nothing but my backpack with my rope. Shortly after I was stopped by the police and asked If I was Elliot, declined and moved on another 300m where I was stopped and searched, they found my rope and I just ran, i must of got a good 500m until a 4th car stopped me.

After being handcuffed so tightly, I asked the police officer “it’s not fair that you can just stop me making my own life choices”

You know what he responded?
“No one would if you died anyway, you’re wasting my time… We don’t get a choice”

Now for a complete stranger …

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6

Three-sentence rant

February 24th, 2017by whiskered-fish

I try to be understanding of the perspectives of others. I really do. But let me say this: anybody who thinks that life is inherently worth living just because “it’s the only life you’ll ever have” is a fucking moron.

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1

“Choices”

February 20th, 2017by SumGuy

And the lightning did crash

The road it split asunder

Two paths made available

The walk of familiarity, down faded streets of internal torment and outward farcities

The path that stopped abrupt a chasm with no end in sight

Equal unwelcoming feelings pervaded the decision

No backpeddling available, bridges burned bodies left to rot

Choice is the only freedom of the individual

The embrace of the unknown or the amity of misery

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1

So tired and so far from home.

February 20th, 2017by WhyIsThisHappening

I’m almost 19 but I don’t really know that I’ll make it to that point.
I’ve made it through a lot in less than two decades. A natural disaster left me homeless at age 6. My first instance of sexual abuse (that I was old enough to remember) was at age 9. I’ve been suffering from severe depression, anxiety, and flip flopping between BED and self starvation since age 12. First attempted suicide at 14. And lost my father at age 16. A few months prior to that, I met the only person I have ever found who offered unconditional support and genuine love. Things were …

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13

Struggling to get my life together.

February 20th, 2017by Premonition

Let me first say my thoughts are on the racing side today. I can’t get them ordered, and I’m going ramble.

First I have Bipolar II Disorder, and I’ve dealt with depression since as young as sixteen years old. Motivation is the hardest thing to come by these days. Now I’ve been in recovery for a year and have started to search for a job. I’ve had a few interviews, and one was super promising, but after a background check decided not to go through with it. That was disappointing, and little worrisome but I’m trying to move one. The trouble is this, I’m struggling to …

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2

damn it.

February 20th, 2017by Lazarus

Can’t think of a good title..

Anyhow, the consensus is that life is so fucking god awful that I can’t even kill myself to help out.

There’s so much awful shit going on.  Where do I begin? Oh. Well, my grandparents both have cancer now.

 My parents have been trying to help by sending healthy foods to them when they have been devouring shit food all their lives.  But they still sneak around to other family members and let them buy them junk food..( I can’t help people who don’t want to help themselves.) They’re waiting on a

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3

5AM BPD/Love/Sob

February 20th, 2017by Elliot97

Do I get up and disappear while she lays beside me, sleeping beautifully? Even if she did no wrong I can’t force myself to believe she hasn’t, If I disappear maybe she’ll find someone better and worthy. I was always told anything said or thought after 2AM should be ignored but it seems to be my wisest moments. I don’t know how or why I think this way, I wish I didn’t. I wish I was ‘normal’… I used to say consistency is key in my previous relationships but it seems the only thing consistent in my life is sadness, suicidal thoughts and total destruction …

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38

Ironies and Contradictions of Modern Life.

February 19th, 2017by Black Holez

Anyone find it odd that our modern world is filled with people who are depressed and had enough of the suffering they are going through? In the past, people who suffered from depression were rare, they had an intact family, had people around them who knew the word respect, men acted like men and women acted like women and rarely were people using each other and being assholes (because if you did, you would immediately get killed). Now we live in a fast paced world where we are surrounded by toxic people who would bring each other down in order to prop themselves up and …

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