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Stories of Loss

For those who have passed on.

America, a place where anything is possible, or a place where anything is possible if your rich or have a 4 year degree.

by maddoghalo
written by maddoghalo

Well, I am 19 years old. Let me start off just about how every other story starts out. Im depressed, stressed, lost my friends, lost some family, very unhappy life, treated like shit, and being denied by the government because they are too fucking lazy to sign a waiver with proof I can handle it because it takes one extra step.

I grew up a pretty happy child, family was close, I was too young to know what was going on, basically living a normal childhood. Then a time came when the wars between mother and father started because they were divorced. Each one fighting over […]

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Closed Doors.

by Latika
written by Latika

Behind these closed doors

i smash everything against the walls

i scream and cry

till it all comes out.

Behind these closed doors

i whisper your name into the darkness

i whimper and hide

till its washed out.

Behind these closed doors

i scratch and rip open myself

i curl up and try

till my hopes no more.

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Same old

by nex
written by nex

Another night alone….  It seems the night brings out the worst in memories. I feel horrid for being depressed like such, I keep telling myself I am a man, not to let such be a bother but it is like weights being stacked upon my shoulders and sooner or later it will collapse.  Just so lonely anymore, It will be 6 years now since I felt the touch of a woman.  I will never forget her, no matter how hard I try my dreams keep bringing her back. Dreams turn into nightmares just as life turns to death.

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Just wanted to introduce myself/what’s happened to me

by Nickd944
written by Nickd944

I’m 20 years old, from the UK.  My parents divorced when I was young, maybe 5, but I’ve always had a loving relationship with both of them.  My Dad still loves my mum, and has told me so, but my mum has always spoken badly (to put it mildly) about my dad.  I was too young to know what happened between them, and I don’t like to bring it up, to find out what happened, in case I upset them.  A few years after the divorce, I’m not sure how many exactly, between 4 and 6 years, my brother, who is 13 or 14 years […]

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Cage of Fire

by Latika
written by Latika

With every step that I take

I rattle those

fiery bars.

Burning through the air,

slices down my heart!

Looking deep inside

I see you there

in my arms!

Oh, what a joyous feeling I get,

but its buried alive!

I’ll never see your face

and never brush your arm

never get those kisses

that I

so adored!

Oh, what is this hurt

thats burning me inside

escapes through my throat

hoping that I die!

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mason

by ripmasonreidcutler
written by ripmasonreidcutler

my close friend mason reid cutler age 16 killed himself on june 19,2010. this boy was my everything he would always make me smile and he was the one i’d run to if ineed help or advice. he had just finished his junior year at our school, he was a track star, wrestling star, cross country runner he did it all and he was everyones friend! he would always smile and laugh he was strong. and it makes me made how people can say that u can spot someone who is depressed and might be suicidal well guess what no one would have ever thought […]

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Wishing

by Latika
written by Latika

All i wished:

to hear your voice,

to touch those lips

sweet and moist.

All i wished:

to say your name,

inhale your scent,

ignite this flame.

All i wish:

to pop these pills,

to say goodnight,

for a final thrill.

All i wish:

to have you say

loves not gone,

you feel the same.

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Olive Eyes

by Latika
written by Latika

Oh, olive eyes of drowning seas!

Please, don’t stare

with such intensity…

The hurt and pain,

the endless guilt

that those soothing eyes

soon smolder silt.

Heat and passion

ask such a toll,

calling for my endless role

in hate, fear, and desperation

Relinquishing my compensation.

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I Wish…

by Anna
written by Anna

The following is a short story entitled ‘The Euphio Question’ by Kurt Vonnegut. I sincerely wish that some device such as this existed. Alas, happiness is in actuality difficult to attain. My wishes are simple when lain against this very complex story addressing whether happiness itself, when reached by unnatural methods, is of any kind of value and whether is cheapens life’s existence. But, I digress… I hope you enjoy this story. Vonnegut is exceptional. This story is taken from ‘Welcome to the Monkey House’. Comments are welcome.

Ladies and gentlemen of the Federal Communications Commission, I appreciate this opportunity to testify on the subject […]

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Sharing my journey

by SoVeryTired
written by SoVeryTired

It’s been a long time since my last post.

I’ve been in a psychiatric hospital from mid December until mid February, being very depressed and suicidal. During that time my husband of 1 1/2 years decided to end the marriage, and withdrew all the promises he had made earlier about supporting me until I am back up on my feet. Talk about kicking someone when they are down. He then also refused to move out of our house, until a property settlement is reached, at his lawyers advice. When I came home from hospital his attitude was so hostile it became clear to me that I […]

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I Need You..

by Skrattt315
written by Skrattt315

Hey Guys..

It’s me again. I forgot to tell you my name last night. It’s Ashlie. I’m from California. And right now I really need some help. My mother and I got in a huge fight today at dinner, because I’ve been being harassed at school. Some kid threw a syringe at me in 1st period and told me that I was nothing better than a junkie. And over the past two weeks, the same kid and many more of his friends have been touching me and just being complete ass holes. I guess I’m writing to anyone who’s willing to listen because I’m really feeling like […]

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Chokers, cutters and… Nutters???

by RogueShadow1281
written by RogueShadow1281

What the fuck is a nutter, first of all? Also, I am not a cutter, but wish I was one, but I’m also a *****. I choke myself instead and write depressing shit. Choking, not as in choking a chicken, or masturbation, but as in my own neck. I asphyxiated myself with my hands on my neck. Only problem is I can’t find anyone that’s the same. I feel even worse, jk, but I am pretty pissed off I can’t find people who do the same thing as I do. I check google, but only found celebrites doing auto-erotic shit and suicide methods. I want […]

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A dream of the love of my life who broke my heart by saying no…

by RogueShadow1281
written by RogueShadow1281

(I use the notes section of my iPhone like a journal… I love this dream, wish I could sleep and re-dream it…)

Today, I had another dream about Nycolle. I don’t feel angry, or annoyed, but slightly happier. 
  It started out random, I was walking through a mall and ended up naked, then wore my blanket I was sleeping in an hour ago. I ended up at a game store, buying a random game, my mom came through the door took the game and disappeared. I walked with another naked dude and we talked, don’t remember, but I ended up having clothes on and went to […]

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My note to my cousin if I ever suicide or she goes back to Chicago… (it’s incomplete I haven’t updated…

by RogueShadow1281
written by RogueShadow1281

Jasmine, you are an amazing girl and I wish I could stay on this planet, and be with you, but like everything I wish for. It is just a dream, a wish. I wish we could be together and I hope this place really is Hell because it’s the worst place ever. Theonly thing I wonder is why someone like yourself that’s so divine would be in a shithole like Earth. You are a beautiful and brilliant diamond in this shit. Why do you have an abusive, drugged, alcoholic dad and such a shitty life. I wish I could be with you at all times […]

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Suicidal Army

by RogueShadow1281
written by RogueShadow1281

we should ban together, instead of killing ourselves. Fight as mercenaries and since we’re suicidal then we won’t fear death and hopefully all die in a battle. Grab weapons (even though most of us want to end it right there when we get the guns) and kill. Fight in Iraq as a team of soldiers. Or become martyrs for some cause. Go to the extreme to show our support and be remembered for something other than the outcast who couldn’t fit in the puzzle called life.

I, as a leader, will fight alongside you to eradicate whoever stands in our way. I would be able to […]

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I assume my friend killed herself…

by uncertainty
written by uncertainty

I had a friend I knew mostly online.  We’d flirted back and forth because we both had a psychosexual-erotic interest in death and suicide.  We had also agreed to stop at times so that we would not trigger each other.  In the end we were very good to each other, and encouraged each other to stay alive, while talking very frankly about our fixations.

She had never been off the online service that she was on for more than 3-4 days.  On March 6, I talked to her.  We had talked before about her killing herself with morphine (MS-Contin) which she was able to get sometimes. […]

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Just Another Statistic..

by Skrattt315
written by Skrattt315

I’ve been through it all. I’m not kidding. Sit down and read this. I’m not a fake. I’m 15 years old and surprised as hell that I made it past 13. Since I was 12, I’ve been through rapes, murders, suicides, jails, hospitals, addictions, heartbreak,prostitution, eating disorders, honestly, everything. (If I left something out that you’re struggling with, let me know.) I’m currently still cutting. And I just got out of Juvenile Hall about 3 weeks ago, for the fifth time. The last time I cut was yesterday. I’ve thought about suicide everyday for the last 4 years. I wake up and think of ways to die. I […]

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How come..?

by Deep abyss
written by Deep abyss

How come I see people all around me happy and smiling? How come I see people around me always with others or with a loved one?

I log on facebook and see all my old high school “friends” happy with girls in their arms or happy with buds while I’m all left out here alone. How come..? We were all the same and hung out and were in the same clubs and sports team, yet how come everyone one of them is happy while I’m all alone here in my room and depressed and suicidal? How come the girl I was with, who was also depressed […]

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All for you.

by snoochiez
written by snoochiez

Images burnt into the mind,
The scar leaving what’s behind,
Taking once what was mine.

I see a dark gloomy future of the past,
Asking myself if this will ever last,
Stuck in this endless void,
Within it is my trapped joy.

Screaming louder,
Not even you can hear,
Digging to find a single tear.

If you see me laugh,
Will you call me insane?
I’m just stuck inside this brain.
Is it so hard to ask for?
Your love?
My pain?
I love you.
No matter how much it rains.

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