Category:

Stories of Loss

For those who have passed on.

What can I do now

by uglynbroke 9/26/2022

written by uglynbroke

My entire life I have been disrespected, treated like shit and been bullied by everyone I met to the point of attempting suicide. Many people told me I am an easy target and I am dumb as fuck and they thoroughly enjoyed putting me down. I have no friends, not a soul in this world who I can call if I am in a fight or a life-death situation. All this is because I am autistic and have no social skills.

Needless to say I hate most people after my great experiences with them. I have also developed cptsd and serious heart issues due to the […]

9/26/2022 5 comments

Taking the pain away

by Thanatos.Nykthos 8/20/2022

written by Thanatos.Nykthos

I am afraid of harm.
I have grown wise about harm.
But I just found that when I perform it, the crippling pain leaves in a way and for a time while my wound remains.
I am scared of myself now.

[image and caption removed]

8/20/2022 17 comments

Nykthos, shrine to Nyx

by Thanatos.Nykthos 8/16/2022

written by Thanatos.Nykthos

My eyes roll back, my tongue hardens, balling up in my throat.

I choke on my body, every finger feels alone. As if somebody is pouring their voice into my mind, humming a drone which washes over me like I’m being boiled alive, I reeel repeatedly, awash sans sensation save an echoing of separation.

Like a hand to the face, or a soft bucket of cold water, my senses return, the highways of mind occupy themselves once more.

Defenseless, totally vulnerable to otherworldly nothing, unreasonable in any fashion.

/~\\

(Abandoned places)

https://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/transition.html

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1362361318816053?prg140729=e1da73fb-d096-44f6-b6c1-fe74d31d939d&

https://www.bmj.com/content/341/bmj.c3222

https://www.uptodate.com/contents/suicidal-ideation-and-behavior-in-adults/print

https://drjonicewebb.com/how-to-deal-with-your-emotionally-neglectful-parents/

https://www.wikihow.com/Accept-That-Your-Parents-Don%27t-Understand-You

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantone_448_C

https://www.dwihn.org

(here- […]

8/16/2022 2 comments

Never Loved

by Thanatos.Nykthos 8/4/2022

written by Thanatos.Nykthos

Looking to golden lights, disoriented by gossamer affection

You never loved me- lie no more. Leave me or love me, I shan’t stand for your façade any longer. I see truth, I knew from the genesis of your sin, it held no virtues.
You called my light delusion, and you called my patience an unchecked ego. When I spoke clearly at last, your shell crumbled, you held no quarter to the lies before which you had brought forth against me. You say it “I love you not, I care nothing for you however you shall live.” And so it was laid plain.

8/4/2022 1 comment

WITHIN;_THE_VIOLENT_NOTHINGNESS_TradingCard

Wombo Dream Dump – Nothingness

by Thanatos.Nykthos 7/26/2022

written by Thanatos.Nykthos

7/26/2022 3 comments

A short letter to Dr.X

by freakinLadybird 7/26/2022

written by freakinLadybird 1 min read

Dear Dr.X,

Thank you for getting through with the call with me today. I knew it was quite late for you since you didn’t have a continuous sleep the night before. I can hear your agitation in your tone although you kept on with the polite laughs and expressing gratitude as usual. The many times you called within a minute alone showed your agitation, while I was using the loo.

I want to tell you that I am sorry for coercing you into a late night call. I know that I was being inconsiderate of your situation. I only consider about my own convenience and feeling, ignoring […]

7/26/2022 2 comments

I am exhausted.

by saveria 7/25/2022

written by saveria

Hello. I am *Saveria.
I am French and I am 15 years old. If I’m here it’s to talk and look for things that would help me die.
I’ve been through horrible things, well, I’m the one who thinks it’s horrible. I haven’t felt well since I was 12. No, I never talked about it, it’s taboo at home. I tried to get up many times. But I can not.
I’m desperate, I’m looking for help. I fell into the death spiral. I don’t want to live for many long months already. I need help.
Someone can help me ? To find a method of […]

7/25/2022 6 comments

Never found – ai art

by Thanatos.Nykthos 7/25/2022

written by Thanatos.Nykthos

The playlists abounded, the only things left besides the journals upon journals, notepads chock-full

7/25/2022 0 comment

“Greetings.”

by Thanatos.Nykthos 7/24/2022

written by Thanatos.Nykthos

https://creator.nightcafe.studio/creation/lgZAU77M5JbFZvkkBCuY

It is human to, at this point, put forth a greeting to the community i have just joined here. Hello. I want to die. I shall start with a recent tale of achievement in my life.
-I am very happy that recently, I secured my avenue of prospective death in a manner of which I shall not discuss, but which brings me great solace to find was appropriately covert and fruitful. I feel peace knowing I can hold the hand of death this way, and have been more productive for having this comfort.

This is all I shall share for now.
Wishing […]

7/24/2022 1 comment

DYING TODAY IN A SHITTY COUNTRY

by lifeisadankjoke 7/5/2022

written by lifeisadankjoke

I live in a country that sees suicide as an act of rebellion . So there are laws to scare people from commiting suicide . One of those laws is that if I am not above the age of 21 . If I commit suicide my close family parents and older siblings will be held accountable for my “mistake” by paying stupidly large sums of fines and me and my parents have to at least be held inside a “psych ward” ( basically a prison ) until I am deemed to be “normal” again . I have been actively trying to commit suicide since I […]

7/5/2022 3 comments

I hate my mother

by Ihatemymother 5/20/2022

written by Ihatemymother

Hey, I just want to post this because I really hate my life and hate my mom so much. you have no idea what I’m going through, it might be not as bad as some other cases but I hope it can change because when I’m writing this is still going on. I have Asian parents, and Asian parents tend to be strict, and I probably land on the most terrible parent.
The story begins like this, (disclaimer I didn’t put my name nor how old am I because I don’t want anyone to get in trouble, and I was in a rush writing […]

5/20/2022 0 comment

I’m really tired of hurting, hurting myself, and hurting others

by mathsterofpuppets 5/14/2022

written by mathsterofpuppets

As of this writing, I’m 53 years old. My health is suspect, although I do the things for myself I need to in order to stave off utter decrepitude. I’m single…well, never married. Never relationshipped, to be perfectly honest, not even that of the overnight variety. I have lived, lost…no, not lost. Generally, I’ve driven others away as a consequence of erratic emotional stability. For 10+ years, until last year in fact, I was the full-time, live-in caregiver for my parents. This ceased last year, on July 17, when my mother succumbed to triple hit diffuse large B-cell lymphoma, with spinal cord involvement. By that […]

5/14/2022 1 comment

Hazy luminescence…or not.

by Once 4/30/2022

written by Once

May 1. Another anniversary. Three years ago, my boy left. He was my cat, my best friend, my only love. Hooks. We had seven wonderful years together, and the three since he left seem like a dark, empty eternity. I’m changed, stagnant and uncaring. The world is a different place, a banal predictable circus overrun by human monkeys. Where is decency? Where is compassion, where is consideration in this violent atmosphere? Where is the respect we all want ,yet refuse to give, as we shake our […]

4/30/2022 2 comments

I’m 40 years old this year, and I still don’t know what to do, and whether I should continue to live, or just die?

by niki 4/25/2022

written by niki

Long story short, my life is a complete failure. It’s full of wrong decisions, (in)actions, regrets, mistakes after mistakes, that I honestly think maybe it’s already too late to “fix everything” (eg: I’m losing all the good chances/opportunities, as I’m getting old now). It’s really ironic & tragic, because a lot of people always say that I’m very talented especially in music (I used to be quite an active musician & composer/songwriter, but sadly I’m still not famous & successful), smart, a deep thinker, a highly sensitive person, etc etc.

I am also an idealist, meaning that I actually have a BIG vision & idea for […]

4/25/2022 4 comments

My darling

by sheeshtalericoco 4/12/2022

written by sheeshtalericoco

Good morning , i’m glad to see that you helped Sheena , unfortunaly she passed away this night… You sure know the reason and know that i’m surely very affect by this , I hope now she is in better place , actually Niela was her sister by alliance , Niela’s real sister is younger than Sheena but her pain is worst , she told Sheena to come here and talk about everything she knows about her sister death , we were a good average family with no problems , we lived all in a little house full of love surrounded by lovely neighbors , […]

4/12/2022 1 comment

I don’t really know what happened to her

by sheeshtalericoco 4/10/2022

written by sheeshtalericoco

I have a big sister, Niela, she was the purest soul I have ever seen, she loved makeup and punk fashion, she was called Don by her friends because of her masculine style of dress, she was very talkative, very cool, she was the kind of person i want to date, yet a few days before christmas 2013, she committed suicide in her room while my mum was getting me ready for school, that day was a thursday , she came up after her breakfast in an effort to get herself ready to go to high school, she never came down… My mom walked me […]

4/10/2022 4 comments

Daily pain

by Cassy 4/2/2022

written by Cassy

I am in a lot of pain daily with my arms, back, knees and the pain meds only scratch the surface and then there is the emotional pain. I lost my mum suddenly without warning she was fine and then she collapsed and drop dead while sipping on her cup of tea and they couldn’t save her, she died of heart disease undiagnosed and that’s my fate also because I’ve been diagnosed but the meds for it make me ill and I can barely exercise because of the pain so I think that’s going to be my fate also but I’m okay with that I’ve […]

4/2/2022 3 comments

I don’t know where to start.

by ThatOneFred 3/11/2022

written by ThatOneFred

I want to tell my story but I know it will be taken as a joke, or ignored like some kind of terrible fable or fairytale. The worse fairytale ever written and it’s my life. I want to tell my story but even if i did nobody will ever be able to relate to it, i have nowhere to go anymore as if i ever did. I thought maybe i could engineer my way out of my nightmare but no, it just persists. I don’t even want to talk about it really but i thought maybe just maybe if i was EXTREMELY lucky I’d find […]

3/11/2022 10 comments

I don’t know what’s next

by Junois 2/24/2022

written by Junois

I planned to end it a couple years ago when I was in high school , but now i’ve graduated from college and started University. Everyday, at the back of my head, I struggle to imagine a future for myself because I feel like i’m way below average and I won’t be able to make it in the working world. I choke on my words when talking to anyone I’m not close with and I feel like a social failure. My thoughts of ending it were harsher than they were now but I still dream of dying everyday.

My life is actually not bad but I […]

2/24/2022 1 comment

Courage 2 (quit/proceed)

by mortalcode 2/15/2022

written by mortalcode 2-3 min read

Ever let the anxiety sink ,the rage boil up
Ferment the pain, and bottle it up
Reflecting on the past like it ain’t slow enough
Mom’s always sad that I ain’t growing up
Pills help me cope but I’m still fucking up
Fuck going outside, the moon aint show enough
I laugh about death like I ain’t dark enough?
Friends ran away? I guess they stalked enough?
Fam patient with my death like who’s taking what?
keep a sharp angle, latitudes of my cuts
Force you to be strong like you ain’t had enough
have the nerve to ask what’s wrong…
God ain’t fucking […]

2/15/2022 1 comment

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