Stories of Loss

For those who have passed on.

2

help

  May 6th, 2018 by Unsheard

I’ve been drinking, i’ve been getting high. and all this time i wonder if i did the right thing. sure shes happier and has moved on but i havent. but it doesnt really matter what i want because she is more important even though i hate myself for loving her. who cares anyway ill just tie my noose and jump off my roof. life is messed up and it isnt worth it. im so done with all this shit.

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2

DEATH SOMETIMES WALKS ON PADDED FEET

  May 5th, 2018 by s.h45@yahoo.com

 

When death is so near, sometimes it walks on padded feet, strumming the ground like a guitarist, rhythmically – louder – softer, then with fingers on the wood, tap, tap… tap, tap. The sound is everywhere, no one can hear it but the poor fuck.   It builds and then suddenly subsides, then as each pebble of doubt and every dark word is cast into the waters of his mind, the song builds again on each ripple.   Inside his head each wave combines with the last, getting larger and larger. With the sound of the pebbles dropping into the water, cast by each tap, tap… tap, …

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3

How to write an effective suicide note.

  May 3rd, 2018 by Heh

I’m going to do it I just need to know how to let people down easy. I really can’t stay here. Any ideas on what to write for my mom would be amazing. Thank you!

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5

I almost killed myself

  April 29th, 2018 by Clownfeet

Last Friday I nearly killed myself. I have been spiralling worse and worse over the last couple of years. 2 years ago my best friend killed himself, and it has amplified and set my pre-existing depressive feelings out of control. I have been cracking down the last couple of weeks, drinking heavily and doing drugs. On Friday I got really drunk and split off from my friends. A few hours later, at around 3a.m I walked toward the local river. I stood on a the bridge over the slight drop into the water, just looking at first. It was very pretty. Then I started thinking …

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6

Why

  April 22nd, 2018 by ffsokaythen

I knew him for years, but this time was different. The weekend was wonderful, so much sex and happiness. He started calling me baby, darling, and by the end, “my love.” I told him later I had feelings for him, and he said he had problems maintaining relationships. I told him there was always going to be ups and downs, but not to imagine everything would be terrible before it even started. He swept me off my feet. No one has ever spoken to me so lovingly or made me feel so good. We went on a two weeks trip abroad, got tattoos together, and …

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3

New girl

  April 18th, 2018 by Unsheard

i found a new girl, we have been talking for a bit but i think i’m getting to deep to quick. I flirt with her even without trying to and i can’t stop myself. I think i’m breaking her because i’ve started cutting again. I need to break it off but i dont know how. Someone please help me.

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8

the only one who cares

  April 15th, 2018 by iamdarling

well, unfortunately, not a single soul truly cares about me. i need to understand that. that the only one who cares about me, is me.

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5

Reality is boring ! Real life is boring ! Real world is boring ! Humanity/Mankind must move beyond money & politics for real progress !

  April 14th, 2018 by niki

Reality is boring, Humanity/Mankind must move beyond money & politics for real progress.

Although technology have been progressing rapidly nowadays, yet sadly in many aspects, Humanity/Mankind/Society still have slow progress; Everyday is still the same day & problems over and over again repeatedly.

I believe that in order to make a real progress for Humanity / Mankind, we must quickly focus & do the followings:

1) We must move beyond money & politics. It is outdated. A lot of problems in this world today basically stems from these two root causes (& also superstitions especially in religion, as well as in Ignorance & Stupidity due to failure in …

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0

friday the 13th

  April 13th, 2018 by iamdarling

hey. today is friday the 13th. but, it doesn’t make much of a difference, since all days of life for me hold a significant amount of bad luck and misfortune.

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2

Obsessed to be something else?

  April 13th, 2018 by Leafa0910

Hi… So… Uh… Well, maybe it’s not really related to suicide at all but… Have any of you ever, like, unconsciously forcing yourself to be sad? To be hated? To be… You know. Kind of suicidal? Cause I surely have. I guess.

Oh boi. How do I even start this. I don’t really know exactly when did this starts but… I mean, I’m not depressed or anything like that! Seriously, I’m normal and healthy af. But for some reason, lately I’ve been trying hard to hurt myself, I’ve been trying to suck all the negative emotion inside me, I’ve been trying to make …

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1

******

  April 5th, 2018 by fifth

my girlfriend broke up with me.

she says she is scared to hurt me.
afraid I will get too close
but she said she couldn’t be in a relationship right now

her parents are making her pay for rent.
she is 16
I am hurting for her

I can see her childhood going
she is getting a second job to pay rent to her family
they are not poor

she is assembling documents and researching emancipation

I cant do anything

I can see her falling apart

she is seeing this guy.
they have a

thing

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0

Update

  April 3rd, 2018 by Eccedentesiastsoul

It’s been a while since I’ve last been on here. As a matter of fact, it has been a while since I’ve confronted myself about what is going on around me. For the most part, I blame it on school. I have loads of work to do and having to balance it while also dealing with my parent’s bullshit takes up all my time. I guess part of the reason I have not been putting anything on here is also because I fear someone finding out that this account belongs to me. Anyways, things have been all over the place. I have relapsed twice last …

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4

Too tired to fight, yet too scared to run

  April 2nd, 2018 by tonytakitani

I was looking for a way to take my own life when I first came across this site and this project. In reading the stories here and knowing that I was not the only one who was suffering, I found some measure of solace. It took me a while to come to the conclusion that I, too, should share the story of how I ended up here. However, because I am not at all a good writer (as a non-native user, writing in English actually makes me anxious), I find writing down my life story a difficult and agonizing task. Day after day, I opened …

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2

Problems

  March 28th, 2018 by Unsheard

This probably isn’t uncommon but i drink more then i should, no one knows i hide at night with a bottle of vodka and drink until i can’t feel or don’t remember. I also smoke weed, people think i do it to be cool but i really do it because i want to escape the pain and again. All of this started after i stopped cutting so i think i should go back to cutting but i really don’t know. Is all this really bad considering that i’m 15 i really don’t know and i don’t know what to do anymore.

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2

Thoughts and Feelings

  March 27th, 2018 by ClearlyitsDiz

Do you ever have a really intense thought that u desperately want to let out, but the one person you trust the most is the person that the thought will personally effect, so you have no choice but to hold it in and let it eat away your mentality until you’re stuck sitting there at ridiculously late hours wondering the point of anything? I’m so exhausted of living a lie that I’m forced to live instead of letting out the truth. I want so much from life but who am I kidding? I’m never going have anything, I’m never going to amount to

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2

Tragedy

  March 23rd, 2018 by ClearlyitsDiz

The world is silent; my heavy breathing is the only noise in the world… it feels weird. Almost like death is watching me, or like there’s something awful going on. Although there’s literally no noise, and no person in sight… I feel really alone and endangered. Maybe I’m just uneased, maybe I’m psycho, or maybe I’m lonely. I feel like god has abandoned us, because miracles and humanity no longer exist. All that’s left is pain, death, shattered attempts at love and the dried soil beneath our feet to remind us of the past we’ve lived; the history we’ve created. Whats happened to the

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0

Remain calm…

  March 23rd, 2018 by ClearlyitsDiz

I feel like every inhale I take is just steady preparation for the depression and anxiety and psychosis that’s coming when its time to exhale. I feel like every inhale I take is the last, like it’s the final breath before someone breaks in and kills me, before the whole world collapses around me and everything fades to black, and I become paralysed with numbness, slowly loosing sanity as I fall into deep delusion that everyone’s coming for me. I try to handle it, or hide from it if I’m being perfectly honest, but what happens when I stop hiding? When I finally

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6

I feel it aching

  March 23rd, 2018 by lonewolf23

It’s about to happen. I can feel it within me. The next phase is about to commence. I feel a great ache for growth. All the things i couldn’t do. All the things i didn’t do right in the past put me into a paralysis as soon as high school ended. And for 3 years time has just kinda went on its own. I feel like I’ve watched myself go through these past years in 3rd person view….almost as if i was in auto-pilot. Emptiness from realizing that things could have been better had i just not been so depressed. If i could have just …

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1

  March 20th, 2018 by Jean-bean102

I am here. Simply as it is that. For few months, I was thinking that nothing is truly last. I lost someone, a good friend who I care and love very much. The last person, I would expect to lose. It takes me a while for me to recover from that loss. I didn’t want to believe it is my loss. Now I accept it happens to me and it does not matter if I deserve it or not. I simply lost someone and it affects my life in good and bad ways. I still have hard time to look at something I love such …

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3

Im about to watch my best friends celebration of life video

  March 19th, 2018 by rayonhousefly

My best friend in the entire world, the first best friend ive ever had, died almost two years ago. I was in a very bad place at the time and could not handle going to his funeral, which i still regret to this day. Earlier today i was looking to see if i could figure out where he was buried so i could go visit him. I did, but i also found a video on youtube. It was posted by his sister, and was played at the funeral/celebration of life.

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