Category:

Stories of Loss

For those who have passed on.

Selfish love

by rhinoheart 12/22/2021

written by rhinoheart

It’s never the chronic pain that gets me. I still feel like that could get better someday. It’s not autism either. Not the agoraphobia. Not being nonbinary. Not climate change. It’s usually been unemployment and being held in the jaws of capitalism that makes me want to die. But now I have a job; for the first time, my life seemed like it’d work out. I can just barely afford everything I need and some of what I want. I have things I love doing and I can imagine being successful and accomplished at those pursuits and at my job. My health was even improving […]

12/22/2021 2 comments

Dear me,

by Cai 12/16/2021

written by Cai

How many times have you said “i give up”?
How many times have you cried?
How many times have you kill your mind?

How many times have you hurt yourself?

When will you stop?

Always lost in the dark, never gave an effort to find light.
Covered in marks, never even bothered to fight.
Worthless, useless, incapable, dissociated.
Every negative words invented, you describe yourself with them.

You are a sad person. And you anchor down the people around you.
You worry about every single thing around you.
You cry at every inconvenient thing that happens.
People pity you. You pity yourself.
Never had dreams, because you’re untalented.
Your own mother doesn’t even like you.
Your father hates […]

12/16/2021 1 comment

dear no one

by Cai 12/16/2021

written by Cai

dear no one,

i’ve been feeling down lately. actually, scratch that. i’ve been feeling down since i was 14 or so; i just never acknowledged or realized it. it’s a mixture of deep sadness and gut-wrenching anxiety every fucking day. i can’t even cry anymore.

you see, when i was young, i wanted to be an artist. i used to draw a lot, and even receive praises and compliments from others who look at my craft (thanks, pa. i hope you’re resting in heaven). i believed i can draw. when i went to college to become a creative artist as an advertising student, turns out, i only know […]

12/16/2021 2 comments

Feeling Defeated

by lifeissuffering 10/25/2021

written by lifeissuffering

I’m feeling sad lately. And I don’t know why. I guess it’s because I feel like I wasting time. My life is boring even with so much craziness I go through with people and my family but even so I still feel unmotivated. I’m sad October is almost over. It’s my favorite month. And I feel like I didn’t have fun in it. I didn’t watch enough horror movies, I didn’t eat enough pumpkin stuff, I didn’t watch enough football. I feel like I haven’t done enough. I don’t know how to make myself happy. Nothing makes me happy I feel empty.

10/25/2021 2 comments

Venting about school

by cyberchallenge2 10/13/2021

written by cyberchallenge2

theres nothing to do anymore, nothing is fun, im stressing over the exams that we will have and lots of shit that we will have to do and who knows maybe i wont get accepted to that highschool that i wanted to go to and ill have to ruin my high school experience and most likely life because of it. u dont know how much i suffer from anxiety everyday, no one understands me, it hurts, i cover my ears and try not to cry and freak out from loud people, im slowly losing myself. i keep snapping and having break downs, i was happy […]

10/13/2021 0 comment

losing a loved one

by cyberchallenge2 10/13/2021

written by cyberchallenge2

no one understands me, no one knows how much i suffer everyday, i cant believe im depressed again. i lost my loved one, i wish i was better for them, i wish i brought myself to show love and affection, i couldnt, i couldnt even keep myself up while im being stressed from school and everything, its so hard for me after the 4th(?) break up, it killed me, no matter how much i love him nothing will be the same. i dont wanna be with him anymore but i do, im confused, im so confused, i dont know what i want but all i […]

10/13/2021 0 comment

My Story

by crestfallen 10/6/2021

written by crestfallen

I met my abuser in the summer of 2019 (just before my sophomore year). He was attractive, charismatic, and played his way into my heart singing love songs on the guitar. The first month was perfect; cute coffee dates and late-night bonfires with our closest friends. That all ended very quickly. To put it simply..he was a depressed, bipolar, unpredictable 17-year-old with serious anger issues. He was violent, manipulative, and flat-out scary. At the time, I had never been in a serious relationship, and ignored just about every red flag in the book. The first time I tried to break up with him he held […]

10/6/2021 4 comments

Ugly

by sova 10/5/2021

written by sova

That’s just what echoes in my head. People/parents/friends/former didn’t left and that was the saddest part . Remember the day when I used to have panic attack and my parents dragged me to get on my ass. My mom exactly knew when I would shout back and thanks her for conferencing with all my family members(uncle/aunt/grandmother) and just waiting for the moment to trigger me to shout back and say them to leave me alone. Nice team you got with all your saddist/narcissistic friends. Been a looser/pathetic. My soulmate left. Just murmers inside my head. I am left with no purpose atleast I want to […]

10/5/2021 2 comments

Open your heart so we dont have to speak and it shall spark

by cheezynipps 9/14/2021

written by cheezynipps

9/14/2021 0 comment

Hate my life TW// self harm

by redlipstick 8/17/2021

written by redlipstick

I never thought I would make it past 22 and yet here I am. I had thoughts when I was in middle school and I would cut myself. of course, my parents saw but they didn’t know what self-harming is. high school and college were okay for me but when covid-19 hit it really messed me up. I felt like I was in the same place in middle school: helpless, hopeless, no friends, and now I’m also unemployed. I hate that whenever someone does not write me, tell me that cannot stay, or takes longer to answer a text message or answer me shortly… always […]

8/17/2021 1 comment

I could let myself die, and no one would care or notice.

by UnknownUnheard 8/17/2021

written by UnknownUnheard 5 mins read

Ah yes, depression. The thing that’s been haunting me all my life, and just gets worse and worse. There were some points where I would get better for a while. But then I would spiral back into that dreadful state. Crashing harder and further each time. Sometimes I wonder, “when am I finally gonna give up?”

Here’s the thing I’ve never told anyone: I want to die. SO badly…..and it pathetic. It feels like a living hell each second I’m alive. And worst part is, nobody really gives a s***t.
My parents, brothers, and even my extended family quickly dismiss my suicidal ideation. I tell them. […]

8/17/2021 3 comments

Smokey

by LifelessAnatomy 8/12/2021

written by LifelessAnatomy

I remember December, a season that I shall not long forget. A time when its resplendent blanket of white enswathed the earth and concealed from all the life it was known to harbor. I suppose that it is fitting that during the season when Persephone was stolen away from Demeter to the land of the dead that so too should another soul be spirited from this world to the realm of hades, and along with it my innocence.

Life offers many different paths for us to traverse some linear and others consisting of many different twists and turns, and yet it is impossible within the moment […]

8/12/2021 1 comment

by The riddler 8/8/2021

written by The riddler

If you need a friend and have nobody, follow me on IG and we can be each others friend. I’m lonely and been in a dark place. I’m losing so many friends.

*I accept all follow requests, just DM me after so I know this website is the reason for the add*

riley_with_a_d

8/8/2021 1 comment

Hated for having cancer

by originalol 7/30/2021

written by originalol

I am 28 years old and I live in Los Angeles. I have PTSD that causes me to have a breathing problem. I have been through so much despair that I unwillingly hold my breathe when ever I am around people. Every one and I mean EVERYONE talks about like I am stupid ,they gossip right infront of me and they don’t even whisper.

They are basically Brittney Spearing me. My breathing problem is not being able to fully breathe in or fully breathing out. I work as a courier in DTLA and I am always being himulated . My breathing […]

7/30/2021 1 comment

by BrittNicole 7/24/2021

written by BrittNicole

7/24/2021 1 comment

i might do it soon. i dont know where to go from here.

by damidami 7/10/2021

written by damidami

just 1 am thoughts again. its always in a cycle, i get extremely suicidal, im in this weird state where im just numb and i feel okay i guess and then i spiral. im back in my suicidal part of the cycle, except one important thing: my brother killed himself. thats what the police say anyways, im not sure, i dont know. he came to me alot to vent, i shut him out, our relationship wasnt always the best, so right now the only thought that has been repeating is that i killed my brother. i drove him to suicide. i dont know where to […]

7/10/2021 3 comments

Pathetic, Worthless, Horrible

by ravenna121 7/7/2021

written by ravenna121

I think I’ve gone off the deep end.

In the time and place at which I am writing this, it is almost 4 in the afternoon. If I hadn’t intervened 3 hours ago, I would likely still be in bed right now, oscillating between being asleep and being awake. Last night I fell asleep at around 4:30 in the morning, and even then it took a lot of effort to close my eyes for good. I never thought I could be so pathetic.

I haven’t done anything all day. I have no energy for anything anymore. I can’t even do things that I had wanted to do. […]

7/7/2021 5 comments

Wasted

by Grimhild 7/7/2021

written by Grimhild

My childhood was nothing but trauma. My teen years were the same. I’m almost 21, and all I’ve had to look back on is wasted years, trauma, and grief. My disability prevented me from enjoying even the decent years.

The worst part is that I’m still experiencing trauma. I’m not even free from my abusive family.

I wonder if I ever will be free from here while I’m still alive.

7/7/2021 2 comments

I Want To Stop Thinking Altogether

by ravenna121 6/27/2021

written by ravenna121

MY MIND IS THE WORST!

I wish I could stop overthinking everything. I hate that I always make a mountain out of a molehill (sometimes even an anthill). It’s summer vacation but I’m still full of worries and I can’t tell whether or not they’re valid because I’m just too detatched from reality at this point.

Why am I so goddamn insecure? Why does my mind feel the need to compare me to others and make me feel infinitely inferior to them? Is it really accurate to think that I’m incredibly stupid, repulsively ugly, and undesirable in every way to be around? My insecurities are so awful […]

6/27/2021 2 comments

Personal Introduction

by jamk 6/26/2021

written by jamk

Hi, my name is Jamie and I am plagued with suicidal ideation. My first hit was when one of my parents died when I was 6. I was molested as a child before I was 8 which caused me to wet the bed during my entire childhood and even early adulthood.

When I was 14, the dark cloud had progressed due to physical and emotional abuse from my one remaining parent. I almost called Child Protective Services but something told me they do not have kid’s best interest at heart. It was a serious threat, so my parent called a relative to talk to me and […]

6/26/2021 2 comments

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