For those who have survived suicide.
i’m still here
i hate it
i fell in love
but she’ll never get it
i want to die in her arms
i hope she’ll understand it
maybe one more day
maybe
i gave her my heart
but she dont know it
its on her table
she’d never see it
ive been through enought
to know i wont have it
i guess it is time for me to sleep
for a long time coming
goodbye
i might be back
Is it wrong for me to think that people should commit suicide ..? I’m most definitely not for it as I have seen the difference it can make in a life. But … Have you ever put yourself in someone else’s shoes and just thought “Damn … It would be so much easier … Plus I’m not afraid of death… People should be more welcoming of it rather than afraid … But then again they have lived all their lives living it … So something different might nno be as good”
Idk … I’m just drinking here, laying down wirhaw life full of unaccomplished achievements right […]
I have an application on my phone called the Luna Diary. That is where I write what I’m feeling today, but it’s not like any ordinary diaries where you will read what happened today and the extraordinary revelations that happened in the current time. What I actually write in there are my suicide notes from every time I am having an episode. Similar to today, I am currently experiencing one while writing this description. Since my phone is broken, I’ll just have to make this as my temporary Luna app. I guess no one will even take notice to this anyway. (There is an audio […]
https://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/PROJ-85.mp3
I can’t stop shaking.
I’ve been lying to my parents for 3 years. They think I’m about to graduate from university when in fact I haven’t been going to school. My parents are so proud of me. It’s all a lie. I honestly don’t know what to do right now. I have no friends, I have nobody except for my parents, where do I even begin to pick up my life? The son that they love is a complete lie, he doesn’t exist. i have had really bad social anxiety and depression that i haven’t been able to even get up and go to class.My […]
She was drunk. Doesn’t that make it my fault? She was raped before. That’s the only reason she did it. She wouldn’t have done it to me if it wasn’t done to her. She was too drunk to know what she was doing and it wasn’t her fault, right? And God will condemn me for adultery and homosexuality. She’s taken any chance of heaven away from me. She stripped me of any hope for a future. There is nothing after this. Not even death could let me escape this hell. It’s never going to end and I am going to continue to be tortured by […]
Hello again everyone. Things have been pretty tough recently, I’ve been struggling to get out of bed, to eat, to talk to people. The impulses are strong. I’ve almost jumped off my window a couple months ago.
My parents are getting old and my dad is a little sick again. I feel bad for them because they have to live and put up with me and all my psychological issues. There is not a day where I wish I wasn’t born. I am turning 23 this month. I am not getting better.
I finally reached the point where there is no hope. And it’s not as dark […]
I wrote a suicide note once. Only time I ever did. I wrote it right before what I guess you could call my first real attempt. It was only three words long.
So at my college, they had a showing of the “s” word. I went not because I had to but to challenge myself. I attempted to commit suicide last November. Luckily I wasn’t triggered but it had me thinking about my last attempt ( i have many more but this was the most recent) and how alone I felt. I spent almost a week in the hospital trying to get my sugar levels stable ( I am none diabatic and toke my father’s insulin on top of over 40 pills) nurses tell me repeatedly I should have died and I should never try again etc. […]
Especially when you’ve realized that nothing we do here in reality will ever compare to our imaginations. And no, I’m not talking about petty, shallow, superficial, & stupid imaginations like most people only have with their simple-minded brains. I’m talking about all those best fantasy movies, games, novels, comic books, anime/manga, etc, with all their magic, superpowers, & magical, fantasy, adventurous world/universe with its limitless, unlimited possibilities.
Fuck this reality.
Reality is boring, stupid, & depressing.
reality is boring , life is boring ,
it’s all about money
i hate money
i hate business
i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books
I […]
it’s okay that everyone turn missing for a little, for a short, for long, for ever.pretending soon or close to have born alone, to be raised alone, to learned alone and to loved alone, cried alone and married alone.
to have fucked alone, till I found myself in a lie, one of which the wreck turned to recover and inserted in this world alone that suddenly I turned insane to not been at all alone.
but all I meet, anyone there is getting me to know is fading out life.
the world is yet not close to understand, healed. corruption is raised and cultivated. any declaration destroyed and […]
Source: FDA Government Website
Antidepressants increased the risk compared to placebo of suicidal thinking and behavior (suicidality) in children, adolescents, and young adults in short-term studies of major depressive disorder (MDD) and other psychiatric disorders.
The following symptoms, anxiety, agitation, panic attacks, insomnia, irritability, hostility, aggressiveness, impulsivity, akathisia (psychomotor restlessness), hypomania, and mania, have been reported in adult and pediatric patients being treated with antidepressants for major depressive disorder as well as for other indications, both psychiatric and nonpsychiatric. Although a causal link between the emergence of such symptoms and either the worsening of depression and/or the emergence of suicidal impulses has not been established, there […]
I’ve never posted here though I’ve thought about it before. Scrolling through the stories of those who seem down, heartbroken, or even suicidal… Today, I will finally post, as I once again feel misunderstood and left unheard.
I tried to kill myself Tuesday. My mind raced as I left work and went out to a spot I had pictured before, but not without stopping by my apartment for a knife that I wasn’t sure would complete the work – but at least enough to try. I had texted my therapist, who I wrote a short text, one she labelled cryptic, as my mind was made up […]
reality is boring , life is boring , it’s all about money , i hate money , i hate business , i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books
I hate reality , reality is boring !
I hate real life , real life is boring !
I hate real world , real world is boring !
I wish I live in movie / movies , I wish movies were real
I wish I live in video games , I wish games were real
I wish I live in novels , I wish novels were real
I wish I live in anime […]
Today I cut for the first time in almost one week. I thought I could do it. I thought I could be strong! I always think I’m gonna wind up able to be ok but I’m never really ok. I was mildly happy today and that’s a shock because i haven’t been even close to happy in god knows how long! I spent the day boating and drinking with friends but when I got home around 8:00 pm my depression got the best of me and I found myself with a blade in my hand cutting my thighs without remorse. I thought this would be […]
This month will be the four year anniversary of my father’s suicide. He shot himself in the head in his bedroom and I was the person to find his body. It took me awhile to tell anyone I didn’t know how to call my mom (she left to take my brother away for college that night) and tell her my older sister or my younger brother. It’s inexplicable to say the least. I just don’t know how to handle this time of year. And I hate the holidays so it kind of just rolls into it, my dad birthday is also in September. Any other […]
i’ve been suicidal since i was 14, maybe 13, but my memory before my first attempt is blurry. i’m almost eighteen now.
i didn’t intend on making it this far, at all. i didn’t intend on living this long – ever getting a job – making it to my senior year of HS.
but, if you’re like me. it’s probably important to remember something my friend said to me.
“you shouldn’t deem yourself a failure whenever you fall down again, you’re still going, you’re still strong. Your illnesses aren’t you. You’re you; and that’s what matters.”
just a little more, okay?
If hating me makes you hate yourself a little less, I’ll do that for you…
I’ve long since outlived my welcome and my usefulness.
Precious little goodness have I contributed to this world; nothing to my own credit do I leave behind. Nobody here depends on me, all will be relieved when I’m gone.
I’ve nothing left in this cold, desolate place to hold me here.
I’ve lost it all. There’s nothing left now for me to lose, anymore.
There’s just nothing left. C ‘est la vie.
Outside of myself. The woman everyone see’s just like everyone else, is carefully crafted. I am strong enough sometimes to smile and make jokes to my colleagues and sort out the chaos on my 3 Monitors to successfully complete a days work. I have pain beyond my threshold leeching on my spine and chest. I contain them until the weekend when I can perform my mental surgeries.
When the wounds mastisize and become larger than my ability to contain them I am frozen. I am powerless. I look at my 3 Monitors and watch the inbox rise watch the Skype pings sting watch that there is […]
The Last time I posted was FIVE years ago ..
I never though I’d ever come back .!
Yet here I am
I guess we never really change !
no matter how hard we try to change ourselves deep down we will always be the same .
I fought hard .. and I’m still fighting .. I’m not really willing to surrender not before not now not ever
yet still my inner self , my flaws , my weaknesses.. are catching up with me ..
spend the last five years in what I developed to br a stable life .. it is actually to most people it’s what they want .
I got […]
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