Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

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The choice to end my life is mine. The only thing standing in my way is my fear of failing again. I almost died in November I overdosed on aspirin which a lot of people think you cant do but you can. I almost passed out on the bathroom floor but I decided I would […]

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Battle Scars: 2017 Update

  April 16th, 2017 by Counting The Days Until I'm gone

Today commemorates eight months since I have gotten the urge to turn to this forum. At my last visit, I was broken, and quite humorously, at this visit, broken no longer can summate my existence. In exactly one year, I have had few victories and so much pain and deception that I have crawled back into the safety of my introvercy. Since my last visit, (when I was a 18 year old bum, not attending school) I have made some progression. I currently work, go to school and volunteer regularly but my battle scars are still present, Scars that refuse to heal, scars which threaten …

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Has Anyone Survived an Acetaminophen Cocktail Overdose?

  March 26th, 2017 by Bree9

Has anyone tried going out using over-the-counter drugs, specifically in the acetaminophen category?  (I won’t give specific brand medication examples to prevent my post being taken down). Did it hurt or did you just go unconscious? How did you feel? Did you have organ damage? Were you hospitalized? I want to know what happened but most of all, I want to know if it HURT?

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Blank

  March 19th, 2017 by Zelrot

I lost my baby within three years of her birth. Before that, I was moderately depressed. Once in a while I would break down into tears, I was even afraid to look in the mirror. I’ve seen myself as a monster most of my life. If not I as a monster, then I as someone surrounded by them. I’ve been married to my husband for quite a while now, I love him dearly but his depression only piles onto mine. He’s put a gun to his head around 238 times now, once just recently. He pulled the trigger all but that last time, all bullets …

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Failed before I started

  March 16th, 2017 by Vsgfail

I was waiting for a refill. They refused to give me anymore. I am now stuck. I don’t know what to do.

I need to do more research. Why can’t we simply choose not to exist?

I simply want to sleep and never wakeup.

So back to square one.

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New to the site

  March 3rd, 2017 by TrIeD2mAnYtImEs

I’m a 37 year old recently divorced recently homeless recently incarcerated recently fired bipolar schizo affective civil engineer. I’ve been searching through the internet, found this site and signed up today. The posts I’ve read today helped me through my depression that i face for about 40-70% of each day. I had a rough childhood and had my first suicidal thoughts at 13. I fought it for ten years and took an attempt on my life at 23 (pills)…things just got harder. I tried a few more times slit wrists, pyschotropic pills and electrocution. Any thoughts or information on how to navigate the site would …

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Failed hanging & slitting wrists

  March 1st, 2017 by ThisIsHard111

My mind is my worst enemy. I’ve screamed until I lost my voice over my mind just standing in the kitchen screaming and screaming and screaming! I’ve been getting mental health for years but those people don’t know how to help yiu.

Even when I get myself to a level where I say hey, I think I can live with nyself, MY LIFE GETS RIPPED APART! Every time without fail. Everything ends, no matter how hard yoyo try, even good feelings will pass but bad feelings pass and get replaced with worse. So much crying pain, even physical pain with back problems from numerous car qrecks, …

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5AM BPD/Love/Sob

  February 20th, 2017 by Elliot97

Do I get up and disappear while she lays beside me, sleeping beautifully? Even if she did no wrong I can’t force myself to believe she hasn’t, If I disappear maybe she’ll find someone better and worthy. I was always told anything said or thought after 2AM should be ignored but it seems to be my wisest moments. I don’t know how or why I think this way, I wish I didn’t. I wish I was ‘normal’… I used to say consistency is key in my previous relationships but it seems the only thing consistent in my life is sadness, suicidal thoughts and total destruction …

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Mah Story

  February 17th, 2017 by Killstead

Here I am. Another night, another thought; like the nights before, and like the thoughts before. Only difference tonight being a Google search and bumbling into this website.

Well, sigh. Here goes.

My story starts about 18 years or so ago, back when I was 12. I wasn’t actively thinking about suicide before this time, but they put me on the mind destroying drug Ritalin and the rest is history. It was Xmas eve, and I had made a super potent spicy drink for ‘Santa’. Well, my naive little mind thought I had made the drink so strong that it was going to kill my mother. Of …

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I don’t know anymore.

  February 16th, 2017 by Falsify

This probably will wind up as an incoherent mess, but when is it ever? If my mind wasn’t muddled, would I be writing this? Would anyone of us be? Probably not.
It feels strange to write about this in a public space. But it’s easier than to be judged and mocked by those we care for. Or simply told by our friends and family that we are horrible and selfish for feeling these suicidal urges. They care for you, don’t get me wrong, but they never do seem to know what to do but defend themselves.
“I want to kill myself.” Poor wording, I know. I wanted …

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The 2 Lost Souls

  February 13th, 2017 by completely_lost2

Today has got to be one very hard day… All i seem to think about is the death of my girlfriend and daughter during childbirth. Their watching over me i believe. I want to have them next to me. You guys obviously know the reason i am depressed. Let me go into detail, I was watching my girlfriend, she was 16, give birth to our child. I was in the hospital room and watched the whole gruesome death. She was already in labor giving birth too Arial Hunter on 4-20-2015. Ella was laying saying “i cant, i cant, i cant” i was holding her hand …

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Hitting so hard…..

  February 12th, 2017 by EvilOni22

From time to time I still find myself overwhelmed and just wishing all was over. I fear this will never fully go away. It’s been building up for sometime now. Longer than normal, stronger than normal. Ever so slowly imploding. Back to drinking myself to sleep cause I really don’t know what else to do. Even that has it’s limitations. Work is what I use typically. Just focus on it day in day out. Let’s me simply ignore or avoid what I can’t handle or can’t control…….that’s becoming me now though.

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Hi?

  February 9th, 2017 by _lost._.one_

I feel so alone, as if I am not good enough.

Today I almost suffocated from my own self-hate. Sigh, not literally, metaphorically. There were so many people in the bathroom all of a sudden and I could not cry, I had to hold it in for approximately ten minutes while they fussed over their picture.

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Um…well here goes…

  February 7th, 2017 by _lost._.one_

Hello 🙂 I am going to start now…

I have attempted suicide before, but all times my plans have fallen through. I have tried suffocation through bag twice, tried hanging myself once, tried swallowing a ton of pills once, and that’s it. I cut. I despise blood and looking at other peoples injuries makes me want to faint, but for some reason it’s different with my blood. I laugh when I cut and I shake so much. It calms me, makes me happy for a short while. I wish I could be left alone though, my parents are the kind of parents who despise any problems …

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It just kept on getting worse

  February 4th, 2017 by Dark_Shadow

I broke up with my boyfriend early September last year. It wasn’t easy but I had to save myself from the toxic relationship I was in, where he would make all the rules but the rules would not apply to him. He made me feel shit about myself and blame me for all the problems in our relationship.

The first thing I did after that was to seek professional help, he encouraged me to go despite all the bad things that he had done to me. I went to see my doctor and told him about my depression and self-harm. He started me on some anti-depressants …

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3 years later

  February 3rd, 2017 by TheGlassChild

This week, Quebec marks the twenty-seventh National Suicide Prevention Week. The week runs from Jan. 29 to Feb. 4

I felt the need of coming back here, and read the stuff I was writing few years ago, when I was at my worst.

I’m trying to find some words to help those who are now in deep distress, cause I’ve been there, and I should know what to tell those people.

The truth is that I don’t know which word can be used to really help, ’cause I do remember how all those hope messages made me feel worst when I was at my rock bottom. …

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Human’s Imagination / Humans’ Imagination / Humans Imagination is better than Reality

  February 2nd, 2017 by niki

Human’s Imagination / Humans’ Imagination / Humans Imagination is better than Reality

Movie / movies is better than reality / real life / real world
Video game / games is better than reality / real world / real life
Novel /novels is better than reality / real-life / real-world /
Sci-fi / Science-fiction is better than reality / reallife / realworld
Fantasy is better than reality / real world / real life
Anime / manga is better than reality / realworld / reallife
Dream / dreams is better than reality / real-world / real-life

I hate reality !!!!
Reality it’s all about MONEY !!!!!!
Reality is BORING !!!!
Real world is boring ! real-world is …

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why did you become suicidel?

  January 31st, 2017 by noname_x

I was wondering why you guys did become suicidel?

If anyone is interested this is my story ..

The first time I became suicidel was about a year ago. I was already a little bit depressed but nothing much. On a friday night I went to a sort of homeparty together with my best friend for over 10 years. We were just chilling, having a good time and then suddenly he was acting strange. But I didn’t gave it much attention at the time. an hour or two went by and he was acting even more stranger than before, so i asked him what was wrong and …

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Do You Really Want to Die or Do You Just Want Your Pain or Your Struggles to End?

There is a difference. And a BIG one. …problem is, how to tell?

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This is all a Game….

  January 24th, 2017 by brxken._.lxcks

Life is a game. This is not real, everything is fake. Love is a game. There is no such thing as true love, its a joke. Everyone just messes around with other’s feelings. This is all fake, we are all living in somebody else’s imaginary world. This is all pretend, like just think about it… why exactly are we alive if we are going to die in the end? Everyone likes shortcuts, and suicide is a shortcut to life. There is no real point in living, you do something bad in society either you get noticed and then punished and never heard of again; or …