img { width: 750px; } iframe.movie { width: 750px; height: 450px; }
??????? ? ??????????? ????? Vavada ??????

????? ??????? ? ???????????? ????? Vavada ??????

???, ??? ????? ??????? ?????, ?????????? ??????? ????? ? ?????????? ?????, ????? ???????? ???????? ?? ?????? ??????????? – ????? ????????? ???????? ???? ????? ? ?? ???????? ??????????? ??????????.

????????? ????????????? ???????? ?????????????: ?????? ??????????? ????? ??????-???, ??????? ??? ??????????? ?????, ? ?????? ??????????????? ?? ??????? ?????. ????????? ?????????? ????????? ???? ?????, ??? ???????? ????? ??? ???????, ?????????????? ????????????? ????? ??????????.

???????????? ?? ???????? ??????????? ???????????: ???????????? ????????????? ?????????? ????????? ??????, ?? ?????????? ?? ???????????? ??????. ???????? ??????? ??????? ?????????? ? ????????????? ????????????? ??? […]

I called. I knew by the tone of voice that answered that the news was not good.  ” Hey man, he let me down, his missus got rushed to hospital, he had to mind the child, he’ll drop it off 2moro, definitely 2moro”. I don’t know what annoyed me more, the fact the weed was not there or the concomitant excuse.  ” Right, I’ll give you a shout tomorrow” I said.  This is what you will bump into repeatedly if you do not have the option of physically walking into a marijuana dispensary. Street marijuana can be obtained within minutes and has been interfered with. […]

I had two teeth pulled and two caps put in. The caps aren’t much of an issue, but the extractions….. left holes. Those holes will heal, BUT, until they do, I’m off nicotine. The only way I have thought of that I could have nicotine is if I used the patch, but I used the patch when I was stuck in a no smoking hospital, it’s part of what’s kept me from checking myself in for the last five years. The patch doesn’t provide pleasure, it makes the lacking worse.

On the shy side, 48 hours to go…. that’s the minimum before I can enjoy nicotine…. […]

Rockabye

Is anyone else tired of the suggestions people make to alleviate depression? Taking a walk, ordering my favorite food and listening to music seem to be the most common ones. But I’ve heard everything from go roller skating to go square dancing. I realize people mean well but it’s almost insulting. Such superficial actions do absolutely nothing for clinical depression and it’s evidence of the total lack of understanding of the condition. I’m so tired of taking psychotropic medication. It does help me sleep but that’s about it. And as I’ve mentioned here before, my insurance pays zero for me to see a professional clinical […]

If I were near an ocean I would let the tide take me.

Feeling the current pull me under.

The brief suffocating feeling .

The pressure of the water,

Filling my lungs.

No More fighting.

No more struggle.

No more air.

I can’t get shit done bc I’m always so fucking tired. I can’t fall asleep at night. When I wake up, I feel like utter shit. It isn’t till many hours later that I actually feel half-alive. By the time I actually feel ok, it’s time to go to bed, which I don’t want to bc that’s the only time during the day (night) where I actually feel half-way decent. And this hamster wheel repeats day after day after day. I’m perpetually tired, never feeling good, save a few short hours during the middle of the night when I […]

I could use a little weed or maybe some alcohol. its been a lot lately I been taking 2 Benadryl each day two sleep all day at school since im gonna fail anyways. I need a break. It would be nice if I could just pause time for a little while. I keep thinking I am going to try harder and I do for a little while but I just keep going back down. Can’t seem to ever catch up. All I ever do is sleep and work. Some times if I feel like it i’ll play my piano. I don’t play video games like […]

I know in every part of me that my life is a failed mess and the experiment should be aborted but I lack the courage to do the honorable thing. Instead, I hold on, day after day, while things get more and more pathetic and shameful. I am not sure how much I will endure before I finally get the nerve to do the hard thing.

Society is constantly forcing me to think that I should live on. Telling me to use CBT. Not on my nuts but on my brain. It doesn’t seem to work. Somehow, the grid method and the jahari window seem to […]

I’ve been trying to figure out how to get this thing out of my head and onto paper (okay, computer screen), for a few days now. It’s about why I am where I am, why I’m depressed, and why I don’t feel understood. It might be kinda ranty, you’ve been warned.

Sooooo I’m unemployed “by choice” as in, I’m a somewhat able bodied American male, and right now not working is better for me than working. It’s a pretty common situation, apparently it’s been a demographic trend for decades only just now reaching a peak (people hope, if they continue with this approach they won’t be […]

Edit for Apr 23: If I didn’t put my arm up fast enough, I’d be fucking blind right now. Completely blind in one eye. For the rest of my life. I HATE MATTHEW SO FUCKING MUCH! He thinks that I will forgive him every time. Well, I’ve fucking had it with his absolute bullshit. I’m not putting up with him anymore. I will never let him hold my gun ever again. That was one of the scariest moments of my life. I wanted to beat him until he was unconscious. If my reflexes were not fast enough. Every time I think back, I’m so fucking […]

Is anyone else tired of the “Help is Available” lie? The truth is unless you’re independently wealthy, there is little to no help out there. My insurance pays nothing to see a professional clinical counselor. Psychiatrist visits are only for medication management. I know of many others in them same boat. I need intensive IP treatment but it’s just not going to happen.

:'(

I use to come here a lot when I was depressed and suicidal. Just read, never posted. Trying to feel understood, and validated maybe. I’m in a much better state of mind now, and made a video about my personal experience. If you’re interested, I’ll add the link. I can’t promise anyone they will get better, that’s up to them. But I can promise you that there is so much more to life than what you currently think and see. Just keep in mind that your current state of mind might not be able to comprehend this, but that doesn’t mean it will always be […]

I’ve never come across a good example of how to manage the incredible range of contradictory, conflicting drives within me. I often see people who are struggling with some aspect of themselves, and think that if they just made a small adjustment in their approach, they could avoid so much trouble. But when it comes to myself, I have no clue where to start.

I have instincts and impulses to do the worst things imaginable within me. And it’s not that I’m worried that I’m actually going to enact them. I’m generally pretty reserved in most circumstances. But they’re strong enough to the point where they […]

https://www.sportskeeda.com/pop-culture/10-deadly-tiktok-challenges-netizens-take-part-ordeals-caused-revealed

You have some humans who invent rockets that can take you to outer space. Other humans have invented computers and cell phones that let you talk to someone across the globe, in real time. And then there are these humans that do the above stupid shit. Tik Tok Challenges.

No, I do not feel bad or sorry for these idiots. If you’re that dumb, it’s only proper for natural selection to select those OUT of the gene pool. Sadly, it seems the human gene pool is headed toward idiocracy rather than higher intelligence.

Like how many dumb tik tok challenges that […]

Would You Rather Be:
A Happy Idiot or A Depressed Genius?

Took a shower for the first time in 2 weeks. Maybe longer, can’t remember. Wish I could wash away all the rot that is me, but ah, I’m stuck with that for now. I feel like a dumbass because I can’t pull myself out of this for shit. I’ve been trying to do what I’m told to, fighting negative thoughts and things, and I’m always reminded about how it’s my choice and I have to put in the effort. And so I’ve been trying to do all that. But I’m dumb, and pathetic, and worthless, and rotten, and a coward, and a selfish asshole, and the weakest person […]

Every time there is a week where a bunch of crappy stuff is supposed to happen, I call it hell week. I have a presentation on Wednesday, I meet with company executives for five minutes on Thursday, and I have a couple of stuff due. When you look at it, it’s not a whole lot, but to me it sucks. I always have this feeling that something is going to get me, and I think this time it’s going to be one of these things. Things just suck. I hope they go well.