My life has always sucked. No need to do the whole show, but within the past 6 weeks, my husband filed for divorce, stole every penny, I’ve been diagnosed with MDD and severe PTSD, they wanted to hospitalize me but I said NO because I have ‘those dogs’. I lost my home to foreclosure 4 years ago (my husband decided to buy a Vibe instead of paying the mortgage), I haven’t work in as long so I have no credit.
The month from Nov. 14th to December 20th, my husband and I got along exceptionally well. Went out to dinner, talked about things (nothing important), […]
well hello. this is my first time posting on here. here is my story.
when i was 12 years old that was the worst year i have ever experienced, in may 2010 i got ill, i was diagnosed with a disease called chronic regional pain syndrome aka crps. it started off in my left ankle but it spread into my whole left leg and then it spread to both my legs and now my hand, wrist and arm. it will still spread and i will never get away from it. i have it for the rest of my life. this disease is the worst pain illness […]
i am drunk as fuck.. i will remember everything that happened today… but i am without a doubt drunk.. not really upset or depressed.. just wish my best friend was here…
Sunflower- please know that i love you.. that i REALLY do love you… i really do… your my best friend and you mean alot to me! i just want you to know that!
gahhhhhhh fucking drunk….. but i DO MEAN everything i am saying….
fuckk.. cant type no more dude…
fucking drunkkkkkk
someone get drunkm with me! 😉
I’m tired of fighting it. I’ve never fit in I barely exist in this world. I don’t have the goals and aspirations of humans. I don’t want a house, children or even friends. I wait. Life is about waiting to fall asleep next. I work so I can comfortably sleep. I can’t rest on the street.
They say I have bipolar and I’ve had my ups and downs but, they call it a disorder. None of it means anything. Mishaps, mistakes in my brain, my existence is deformed, defective. I’m a monstrosity.
They call that depression. Rape the meaning. Rip my pain from my bones […]
what will you do,if your family found out that your cutting??
when they did i felt so uncovered like an open book infront of them,at least i said maybe this is where my life will take a turnover to good,but no all it did go worse than ever,my mom is keeping a close eye on me,always screaming at me,she took me to do a drug test to see if i take any kind of drugs.
my dad always asking for the reason why i did so!!
and every fucking day my mom run a check up to see if i had any new cuts
i […]
Okay so after a few days of heavy drinking and deep depression I had an idea.. and so far its actually cheering me up! god it feels good to not be so hopeless. this might just be a stupid rant but I want to know what you guys think because it sounds flawless to me. Here goes:
so I convinced my parents to let me come back to my home state. this is also the state where my ex-fiancee/abuser is. I miss him so much but I’m not quite stupid enough to just go running back to him knowing what he put me through..
I’m going to […]
screaming around
saying your name,my fallen angel
hoping you were here again
fragile i’am for not knowing how to forget
i can’t let go of the past no matter how much i forgive
weak and broken my heart is
for not knowing,it will tear me to shreds
this sins,are just roaming in my head
screaming aloud that i’m dead
screaming around again
hoping you were here to save me from this living hell
oh!fallen angel, come to take my soul
and send it please to your underworld
surrounded by monsters and devils
now i feel like i’am at home
far from everbody,far from the human […]
Yep. I do not know how much more I can take of life. I’ve about had it.
I feel like my problems are so minuscule compared to others and that it’s selfish for me to feel this way. It only makes it worse. I don’t try to be this way.
I’m a senior in high school this year. Supposed to be the “best year of your life”. Bullshit. Everyone sees me as a good kid that has everything figured out. Maybe because when I wake up every morning I put on a fake smile and act like I give a shit about life when honestly I could […]
I feel like everything is pointless.. everything. What’s the point in it..
Especially if nothing good seems to last because I have trouble being happy and staying happy since I’m bi polar with schizoeffective disorder.. I don’t have many friends nor do I always want one.. the more relationships I have the crazier I feel. I’m afraid of being hurt..
I’m afraid of people, I’m afraid of myself..
I always try.I try so hard.. inside I’m a good person. Just scared :/
Abandonment issues.. ocd, severe anxiety, pcos, depression.. what’s the point if ill have to always have these curses that limit my happiness. […]
I am hanging on too life by a thread, I am doing the best I can to stay here. It’s a challenge just too keep on going. I have so many reasons too stay here but I have just as many reasons too go as well. I am not seeing the light and nothing is getting better. Ever sense I got here to Arizona I have been very emotional and I have gotten very depressed…. all of my emotions and stress has hit me in the face and I am feeling so lifeless. There really isn’t much more I want too do anymore. My motivation […]
Im 18 and i live with cystic fibrosis and diabetes. Im expected to live until 21 or 23 years of age. My brother is 19 with same conditions and cannot walk one room down the hall without being hooked up to oxygen systems and still getting exhausted. I had a special lady in my life we had been together since high school. We were 14. she was always there for me and understood things i went through and supported me. Today i found out she has been cheating on me for 2 months, including on my 18th birthday. She was the one thing i looked […]
I want to take some time and explain what I’m trying to accomplish with my life and why I feel so miserable… I start college Jan 2nd. I have been trying to get all the partying out of my system and so I have had my younger brother over for awhile (25)… I shared all i had Food, etc. etc. He had a Job and wouldn’t go to work because he was getting too messed up here and i kept giving him chance after chance day after day until he finally lost his job. I felt like that was my fault, like i hadn’t pushed […]
I don’t have a lot of money, in fact if I ever checked my bank balance I’d probably see I have close to nothing. But lately I really don’t care because ill probably be dead soon enough. I haven’t cashed my last 4 paychecks, they’ve been sitting in my coat pocket for almost 2 months. Â I remember reading about Wallace Carothers, inventor of nylon, who killed himself with cyanide dissolved in lemon juice… They found a drawer full of uncashed paychecks in his home. Makes sense… why bother.
i figure I’ll leave all my money (what little I have) to this girl I know. She takes […]
I locked myself in the bathroom and gathered everything I could end my life with, once and for all, the ipod dock for electrocution, matches for fire and razors for bleeding till death.
All I do though is sit there and cry, I can’t do it, I dont have the strength but I have no reason to be here,
I am a horrible person. Help me.
I am really angry, shaking and depressed right now. I hope anyone will take time to read and tell me what to do. I’ll just spill everything here, things which I have never told anyone, and I’m trying to keep tears in. I guess it’s okay to blab here since my identity is unknown in this site anyways.
Actually I have long known and lived by the principle of “never lean upon anyone” and I do practice it. But still I’m angry with a recent occurring.
I have a friend, call her Cucu. We have been friends a long time. So my other friend Juju invited us […]
The whole reason why I was suicidal in the first place was because I felt like a disappointment/failure to myself and my family…
Today on Christmas I got my ACT score back and it was the same score I had before. My applications are due so I can’t take the test again. I tried my best to get a better score and not getting it really made me feel bad, but what made me feel like shit was when my parents were blatantly ashamed of my score as well. They basically wanted to keep it a secret.They were afraid of others finding out. The thing is […]
Wow..so that was Christmas. No gifts, no family, no friends, no hugs.
Maybe I was counting on the holiday to cheer me up a bit..I dont know why.
We never really “celebrated” Christmas in my house with such nonsense. There were never any gifts since I can remember. My parents always thought that since they never got Christmas presents when they were kids, that we never needed them. *shrug* fine. Never surrounded by family..it’s just another day. You know my year had to be pathetic when I counted on the most depressing holiday for me to cheer me up. hah.
I guess, love, laughs, and hugs was what I […]
I managed to avoid going to the train tracks today… I took a bike ride to someones house that i thought might help me and he was not home… i waited but the timing was just not there… i rode all over in the snow on my bike i wouldnt go down no matter how fast i went… im too good for that… i went down to the tavern I really didnt know what i was doing anymore I was pretty dazed… I had a smoke with some fella’s i knew and one said he needed fresh cardboard for the night… then i was reminded […]
My mind is a lot more clear so I’ll try saying what I have to say again.Christmas being here reminds me that I have spent a year having depression. , I’ve been looking at a lot of people that I find inspirational and thinking wow they look so put together,love themselves, know what they want, etc. and I’ve been feeling that if I had believed in myself and had never became depressed in the first place that I would be better off but I realize now after thinking that I wouldn’t really be all that better off because before I became depressed I was an […]