🙂 you see that? Thats my face. All day. Every day. I put it on in the morning and it only varies a little. I hold everything in. Keep it away from my friends. They dont need to be worried. Because as time comes to show, once people know what face truly lies behind the lies they freak out and send you out to the hospital for a month again. So fuck it. I’ll just push it all back, then let it all out through my wrist at night. So far it’s worked alright. I’m doing just fine. Or so I say. I can even […]

It isn’t its not wrong or selfish. Its a personal choice, I don’t feel guilty about how my parents would feel because they brought me here. It is my life and I will choose what I do as I like to say Death before Taxes. I don’t see meaning in life and I can’t enjoy it. We all die eventually and I dont see why later than now? I don’t want to be part of society and am terrible around people. I hate the expectations on my life from society and My parents and country that I never agreed to. I didn’t sign up for […]

they say knowledge is power
I say it’s a curse
To not know the truth is my desire
For ignorance is heaven on earth

To not know how cruel this world can be
To not know what is going to happen to me
Because my destiny is known by none but fate
They know the event but not the date
On which I’ll die, without a tear in my eye
Because I will have prayed for it all to end

To not know how far gone humanity has become
To not know how much love has stung my heart
And torn apart
My life from my soul

I went on my first date with Jasmine. Although it took nearly forever to get to see her (about 2 hours), I got to see her and whatever deity or unknown force decided to fuck off today. 

Alex, her brother was there too. He understands the situation now and so does my brother, I love Jasmine and there’s nothing that will change it. 

Even though I feel sexual thoughts for her, let me tell you that since she’s a girl, and I’m a guy, then that means… I will get sexual feelings for her? Yeah thats right. 

But I was so nervous it took me till we were […]

Has anyone read this? It’s a book by Kate Bronstein.

I’m 15. I’m a female. And here’s a story that really changed me.

It was a sunny day. Me and my friend were excited so we went riding with our bikes around the block. Lame, I know. But we were only 10. Anyway, some of our classmates lived on that block. We were talking and riding when one of our classmates, Daisy, sees us and yells, “Come! Karina is here!” Karina is another one of our classmates and a close friend.

We went in and we saw that she was there with 4 guys. Let’s name them Tom, Bobby, Chris and Daisy’s brother, Matt. We thought […]

I’ve been sick this week, with the worst sore throat I’ve ever had.  I’ve been using it as an excuse not to talk to people, which makes them less likely to talk to me.  I haven’t said more than is absolutely required of me (mostly ‘yes’ ‘no’ and ‘I’m fine’) since Monday.  And it feels fucking good.  No one questions me.  It’s easy.  Just don’t speak, and no one will want you to.

It’s the same with eating, I’ve decided.  All week I’ve barely eaten a thing (my anorexia is doing cartwheels) and I’m not hungry at all.  Don’t start, and there’s no need to continue.

I think I’ll […]

My mom is constantly telling me that i need to see a therapist and i keep on telling her u really should. I thought she had finally realized how i was feeling but then i find out that she wants me to see a therapist because she wants that girly girl that left her a long time ago,she hasn’t noticed a thing… She only wants the perfect daughter that she used to have. I may not be depressed and self-harm anymore but i still want to see one,i know im not completly out if the woods yet. My friends told me not to tell the […]

I remember a line from the movie “the lives of others” and there was this line about suicide being “the death of hope.”  That’s what I feel like.

I have no hope.  None.  I have no hope that my life is ever going to get better and that I will one day be a happy, content person.  Whatever happiness I’ve ever had in my life has been fleeting.  It’s only ever been when I was with two of my girlfriends.  Both relationships ended when they dumped me at around the two month mark.  I don’t see the point in deluding myself that it will ever get […]

i just cant stand this anymore. every day when i wake up 1st thing on my mind is wish i could blow my brains out. its been like this for about 4 years. future to me seems like lonely, very boring, long and mentally painful and im just 19 years old. nothing i can achieve can make me happy. i know i will live my entire life alone and in this same state of mind as im now. now i have a meeting whit a psygologyst i wish he will give me some drugs i could take whit large amount of other drugs and alcohol […]

I’ve started thinkink if i really exist, ’cause i don’t feel like it. Everything has fallen apart, i’m broken inside… trying hard not to screw things this time, trying hard not to cry, trying hard not to hurt myself, trying hard but hardly succeding. I feel so lost, so angry, so sad… no one is there, i know; no one cares, i know… it’s just me, fighting by myself, almost to giving up

Things were starting to get better. It’s been almost two weeks since the last time I sliced myself. I finally told my dad to get me a therapist since my mom doesn’t give a shit. I guess my dad forgot about me again. Not a surprise, my family seems to forget about me alot. I even tell them I’m their forgotten child.
I really hate my family. Especially my mom. She thinks it’s hilarious to make fun of me. She’s over done it today. Haha very funny to make fun of your daughter in front of my dad and little brother. I always just […]

look, i know that my “problems” is’nt really important like the problems of other people, but i need someone who listen to me… and this page probably can help me to change the way that im feeling

it maybe sound foolish that a person like me, that never think about cutting or commited suicide, make a post in the “suicide project”… but i dont know whats happening to me… i dont know who i really am and that scares me a lot…

i am a happy person, i like to be with my friends.. but i think that i have a giant mask in my face…. i […]

Lately I’ve been getting very sharp pains in my chest. It only occurs when I think about bad things people have said or done to me (a lot). Today, in particular, was a really bad day. Considering I’m that cheery friendly girl, I can’t break down and cry at school because I’m suppose to be strong. Although I almost broke 3 times. I can’t take this. My friend has been cutting herself for a month but stopped. Everyone just pushes me around. The pain is so piercing that I can’t breathe. It’s been happening a lot. The tears are almost impossible to hold back. It […]

What is your worst day of the week, and why?

Mine is Friday, because I have absolutely nothing to do after-school but hide in my room and cry. It is then that I fully feel the pain. And for some reason, that’s the day I feel most lonely.

What about you?

I’m a 24 year old man who has had breasts (gynecomastia) since I was 10.

My health has been slowly deteriorating and have many un-diagnosed health problems.

I’ll probably be dead by 30 due to these ‘natural’ causes.

I was born into poverty to foolish parents and no family support.

At this point in life, I tend to focus on the negatives in every person and thing.

My depression makes me want to help others who are also feeling depressed because I know how horrible it is.

Your life is valuable, so don’t throw it away when you can use it to help other people, which is the purpose of […]

Okay, so when i was three years old, my parents got divorced. I was fine with it, and everything was okay. Untill my dad got remarried…
My step mom has been a b*tch to me basically my whole life. It was kinda like the Cinderella story.. but for a few years (when i was about 7-12) everything was okay. But now im almost 14,. & the past 8 1/2 months or so have been shit.
Its not all because of my dads family. Some of it was me making stupid decisions. I know this may sound ridiculous […]

This is for anyone who wants to talk and especially for Nobody915 since we have a lot of catching up to do!

I’m bored and depressed and I feel like I’m gonna do something really stupid soon.

Probably cut really bad like last night, bleeding just wouldn’t stop. That or sneak out and do dope. I don’t know.

I can’t stop thinking about him. I really can’t control it anymore. To be in love with a person who is partly responsible for the biggest and ugliest scar on my hand, the other part is me. I know the world is laughing at me along with him but i can’t stop.

I tried to hate him instead but after couple of days he would do something nice, just a small gesture and i would forgive him and pretend we are starting all over again as friends. I am aware of all the lies, his twisted personality, and self-destruction. I also know he doesn’t give a […]

Im tired n going to fix that someday, if you know what pain is i can promise you that the pain i have is on a level so high that no painkillers helps, o nice…
I just dont want to wake up tomorrow, i just dont want to do that.
In my eyes life isnt worth living in anymore, there havent been a painfree day in my head since 1983 after a car crash, i died in that crash but somehow they got me back, my biggest misstake in life. Took over a year to learn to walk again after this accident.
Got a job […]