I have a new addiction
Its odd
Intead of cutting
(which is now my 2nd addiction)
I just wanna take pills
The feeling is just so amazing
I thought this would be appreciated here
I just cant take it anymore. Life just seems to be an abundant pile of shit that just gets deeper and deeper. I guess im at this site coz i needed to say this. I’ve been dealing with depression (or whateva this months doctor wants to call it) since i was 16. I’m 28 now. I have been off and on medication for years. It hasn’t gotten any better. I proberbly should have off’d myself back then and saved myself (and my family) the pain and the hassle. I am so alone. I relate to nothing in this world. My only mild feelings of contentment […]
I can’t wait to be done with my life. Every day is another day I have to face people and pretend I’m not devoured by the insides, where I have to be there for them and be their rock, their support. I don’t own a gun and where I reside it is quite the process to acquire one. I don’t have a garage so passing out in my car isn’t gonna happen. I have meds, but I’m too scared they won’t do the job. I don’t want to cut my wrists open because I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to cut the second one […]
but lack appetite? Yea.. fuck depression
My depression is spilling over into my professional life. I just can’t summon the strength anymore to go on, let alone put in a full days work. I know I’m easily replaceable as I’m the bottom rung on the ladder. Soon as I fall, they’ll scrape me off the floor like roadkill and get a younger, less dreary person in here. It’s the natural order of things I guess. For those that don’t go psycho, there is the option of simply letting your life crumble around you. Up to this point, I’ve been trying frantically to keep going, working, socializing etc etc.
It’s a new level […]
I am so lost and every day is a struggle. I have been suffering from deppression all my life and I am now 28 and a married mother.
what has kept me going is the thought of how my family would fare without me but it’s starting not to work. Recently someone has started stalking my husband and I, whomever it is is convinced I’m ruining my husbands life and I feel like this may finally be the last straw. The only people who love me are my husband and kids so I’m trying to hold on especially for my husband because he lost his dad […]
I am a horrible person. I want to die because all I do is hurt people, especially the ones I care about most of all.
There is only one person I really care about. She is a teenage girl who, due to the corrupt American legal system, is going to die in prison. She has already spent 2 years in adult jail, being raped and beaten on a daily basis. I had a lot of compassion for her, so last year, I wrote to her asking to be my pen pal. She accepted, and for a about a month, things went well.
But then I did the […]
Damn I really really need to get out of here.
Whatever happens I have to get out of this hellhole city. It is hard to research places though. I’m not really well-traveled and trying to look on the internet or even travel agencies is extremely time-inefficient considering I don’t want to play tourist and my general intent. I wonder how it would go though, going to a travel agency asking for a nice well-priced dying travel plan. Would have to go suited up so I don’t get kicked out too fast. What bizarre gonzo […]
im sitting here in my room, drowning myself in music. will anybody just talk to me? help me?. i just am so sad right now.. i always tell mysel.. im useless. im a nobody. no one would care if i die… no one would ever notice… I just want someone…. i dont have someone to trust to tell them my secrets.. why am i so depressed.. i feel so unloved. useless.. why was i brought into this world…
im so lost what to do. i am so alone in this world. why wont anyone notice me. its like im invisble. I’m 18 years old, a girl. i have friends but i still feel so lonley. my body aches for someone just someone to love me.. just someone to notice that im hurt. someone to notice that i am so confused… someone to help me….
I can’t really say that I want to die, but I don’t really want to live, either. If I had my way, I could just stay in a nice little cycle of drinking and sleeping, but that’s not really a sustainable solution.
I feel like I’ve just burned myself out over the past ~9 years of school. Provided I pass all of my classes this year (which is a tall order), I’ll graduate with two degrees in May. Being able to say that is nice, but I have no clue what I’m going to do with it. My grades aren’t good enough to get me into […]
I’m miserable in this life but everytime I think of stepping in front of that train, it scares the crap out of me. I have nothing to live for, no friends and a handful of family that have had it with me. The way my life is, it should be easy for me to do it, but for some reason I keep holding on to life. I wish I had the conviction to just do it, I don’t know what it will take for me to end all this suffering.
I feel like giving up. I’ve always been taught life’s great, all that shit, that I have to be successful, that I have to have dreams – grand dreams. It’s all so fucking stressful. Everything is spinning out of control inside me. I blame her, I blame her for everything. It’s stupid, because it’s my own stupid fault really. I keep saying, I never learned how to walk on my own because she keeps a tight leash on me, dragging me around for show to everyone who can see. But the truth is, I’m too afraid to get out of her shadow. Too fucking afraid.
I […]
I really want to die. But my best friend won’t let me. I guess she wants me to suffer even more. Anyways, I can’t kill myself until I get her permission. So what should I say to her so she can let me go?
-End
When? As soon as possible.
Why? Because life is pointless. I’ve lived for almost nineteen years with nothing to show but suffering and there is no point to continue such misery if there is another option.
Where? Anywhere, really, depending on my chosen “how.”
What? Death.
I will save you the long sob story, and I will save you the trouble of responding to “help” me. I don’t want or need help, and you should not waste your time because it will not work.
I’m completely content and at peace with the decision to end my life but I will allow no failure; therefore, I am still searching for the […]
Ok so I’be been recording videos of myself with my webcam and itouch camera… They’re basically clarifications or reasons, any last words i have so my family will have SOMETHING of me remaining… Sound good?
I feel like i’ve finally hit rock bottom. I’ve lost so much, so much that was so close to my heart. I’m tired of disappointing people i love, and being disappointed by people i love. My ex has finally had it with my crazy self. He can’t handle it anymore.So he once again left me and broke my heart. 2 years of putting your all into somebody and never actually had a chance.Not to mention he first left me for my step-sister……. I have uncontrollable anger, and the minute i act upon it, i immediately regret it. I basically pushed him away by my actions. […]
I dislike this Kid!He mocks suicide and acts as if its just a thing.He said “I hate myself and nobody cares if I die.Suicide isn’t a option anymore.Im not good.I Hate This Place.”I asked him if he was ok and that id do anything to help him.His response “Oh that Haha I just wanted to see peoples reactions.I would never kill myself.Do I look like a loser?Haha only retards kill themselves”A Moment of Silence Please…….FUDGE YOU MAN!I saw past your “I’m to worthy”attitude and reached out to help you.All you could do is mock my dream.I will soon be a “Retard and Loser”.Such a […]