Jack The Ripper is an unsolved case, along with one of the suspect Carl Feigenbaum, a merchant sailor already electrocuted in 1896 New York for his crime caught in America, the truth of the confirmed Ripper seems to be forever buried, as many unsolved cases of crime or as in life.

Only if one searches for the truth, will one find that the places he frequented as in Germany, America and London, those mutilated murdered victims happened there were all left with signatures the same with a cross sliced on the flesh as the one he mutilated in America, and that matched The Ripper Cases in […]

I haven’t posted in awhile… but I’m tired of life. I have about 4 days left until the day I said I was going to do another suicide attempt. Nothing really changed, except I got worse. I’m alone again. Alone right now. Forever will be alone. Abandoned. Used. Toyed with. Messed around with. Lied to. Betrayed. I hate myself. I hate my life. I hate everything.

I already know what’s wrong with me. I already know what can help me, but I can’t solve it. I screamed to be saved long ago. Some offered. I believed them. They betray and abandon me just the same. I […]

For those of you out there who have a partner please try to realise how lucky you are. Some of us don’t even have that or have had it for some years. I would give anything to have a girlfriend right now, If I did then I would certainly have one good reason to keep living. Imagine how sad you’d be if you didn’t have them. You’d probably be as sad as me. So please, think of what you have, please.

Im in Ohio its a beautiful day and i just got paid and i still just want to go to bed wtf is wrong with me. I also keep having these horrible mood swings where im perfectly fine riding home with my man and ill start calling him annoying and screaming at him for no reason and i just hate the site of him the rest of the drive home. then ill be fine again its so wierd and i cant help it. hes the only one that im mean to all the time its like i take everything out on him. he doesnt deserve […]

This may be my ninth or tenth post by now. I really feel fucking herendous now its just stupid. I know I will cause pain for the ones I love but if they’d have loved me enough then they’d have seen the condition I’m in and cared and actually do something. I finally feel at ease with the thought of killing myself. I feel peaceful somehow, surely this will make my decision that bit less stressful.

i tried to kill myself the other day. i had a filleting knife. my ex was with me, and i had just apparently scared her like hell, cause i set her on the ground, cause she wouldn’t get out of my way. so she went to her room and cried, and cried… all i said was, “you can’t be scared. you’re like the only thing i have left…” and she turned away from me. i leaned on the wall with both of my hands, let my head back, then slammed it into the wall. i dropped unconscious for a couple seconds, and when i woke […]

i already take care of my 2 year old niece everyday except on those rare occasions when her mom wants her for a night or so. i get up with her when she crys at nite, feed her, give her a bath and right now she sick so i got to deal with that to and still get up at 6 in the morning to go to school. now my mom wants me to get a job our i got to move out and still make good grades with out help with watching hailey. i dnt know what im ganna do im really starting to […]

I’m tired of the same things. I can barely name all the things I’ve been called. Here are the ones from this week.

Fatass
Idiot
Retard
Cutter
Emo *****
Freak
Stupid
Pathetic
Wastrel
Annoying
Creepie
Shut up
What is wrong with you?
Go and die
Fuck off
Turd
Immature
Repulsive
Fat lipped
Slut
Whore
Trite
Bland
Unoriginal
Chichéd
Stereotypical
Whining
Ungrateful
Useless
Pointless
Hopeless
Fucked up
Weird
Big thighed
Weird
Lesbo (I am not. I am questioning and maybe pansexual.)

tomorrow is my college’s annual spring carnival, which means everyone gets wasted and have a good time. i think this year, instead of watching from the sidelines, i’ll join in and drink till i blackout. maybe then i’ll be able to get the courage to finally leave this hellhole of a life.

It’s fun when you can find a song you can relate to.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E31eh1L7h1s&feature=related

I woke up briefly to BF on his way out to turn in some paperwork. Hopped on his comp he offered for a bit to play a small amount of Farm Country, I logged off earlier than expected due to boredom yet again, but prior to doing so, I’ve told him I would scan his computer one of these days so I set the scanners in motion.

I went back to sleep for a small nap. BF then later came back around 11ish with some bad news, but that’s their news. Both BF and I took another nap because of how early we’ve woken up. […]

I’m so tired.

Tired of acting like I’m happy.

Tired of pretending that I’m ok.. As if anyone cared to ask.

Tired of existing.

Tired.

I just wish I could go to sleep.

And stay asleep.

One of my best friends was talking to me and she started to ask some stuff that would have required me to tell her that I’m suicidal, depressed, and masochistic and I was kind of a jerk because I didn’t want her to find out. I’m not sure what exactly I’m supposed to say without telling her about those things.

I am abit tearful tonight for when my best friend stoped over to pick up my fried pc power supply to replace it for me from his home stash. I finally could not hold back any longer of my final exit plans,

He’s the only person who has really stuck in with me the past 19 years of my torments even beyond my own family. Now I realize it is him I am crying for. Because I am also his best friend & he comphends the depth of the misery I live in. He held back from talking and didn’t want to say anything stupid of […]

It was not a very long time ago when I had the lust of a hungry lover. The anger of a raging Tasmanian Devil. The sadness of a quiet, vast beach. The love of a vulnerable, infatuated 10 year old. I never fully realized that I would take my extreme feelings for granted…These extreme feelings were the epitome of every piece that I furiously typed and written onto a blank, emotionless slate.

Whenever I stare at a blank page, I use to be able to have the words flow out of me so as to purge out all of the hidden emotions that have been kept […]

 

I’ve just about had it.

I’ve been called a dyke and a closet lesbian for the past couple of months now, when I’m straight -.-

Am I not allowed to have close “girl” friends!? The people in my school are fucked in the head.

I don’t know why I keep logging on this site….I’m 15, turning 16 this year.

I know I shouldn’t listen to what anyone says but this is now and it sucks, majorly.

Also I feel like the most morally repugnant thing in the world. My friends are really pretty and well all the guys fall for them.

Whereas I only had one bf and I’m emo, who […]

I just finished reviewing Final Exit site and contemplating on contacting them for my right to die.

Hmmm wonders if they just might think I am crazy.

I live in a constant state of exhaustion from a completely disabling form of sleep deprivation, which I was born with and was diagnosed at the age of 35 in 1994. The medical staff who were involved in the testing and diagnoses were surprised to how severe the sleep deprivation was and was informed by doctor that they really couldn’t comprehend how I was still alive and made it as long as I had at that time and ranked me in […]

When you have so high, vivid imaginations that your Dream-world is always 1,000x much more interesting & lively than this so called Real-world,
then you know how ‘torturing‘ and like a ‘curse‘ for you to live in this boring, dull, drag, and often full of BS Real-world…!

Mum said she wished I was dead and not my sister… Lovely.

today is another day, and I’m still here.