Can any one tell me if a 9l tank of ******** will do the job? I’m thinking of getting 2 tanks just incase but 9l is the largest i can find to buy.

I not know where to start but this strange feeling is not going away. I feel some thing big is about to happen in my world. I get very strong feeling “its time to quit this painful life” . This life is mystery which i have failed to understand and purpose of this life have finished for me. I have realized the more i breathe the more pain and suffering i take. Any thing multiply by zero is big zero and that is reality ! This world is full of lies and i am sick and tired of this unjust world. Evil people have turned […]

if having suicidal thoughts is so common does that make me normal?

every week or so there will be times where i feel i don’t belong here or the wish that i could just disappear.

my mental state is so flawed, it’s partly dysfunctional. I don’t think I would be of much use to society because I have the fail in everything I do. Being of no use would mean that I am a waste of space, food, money. Another person should have the resource I have. Earth is getting too crowded and polluted and I’m just wasting so many people’s time and energy.

things don’t just appear out of no where, the things you love the most, don’t just come back. But it did for me four days ago.

sure, I missed it, they came back, messaged me, but I wasn’t there. Only once right? wrong, they came back the next day, and I had the best hour of my life.

Not been online for a few days now, and they were gone for a year before this week. Probably gonna be gone forever now, but miracles do happen. I’ll just have to keep hope. and keep hoping that little box that appears will have your name on it next […]

I’m defeated
powerless against it
so weak and defenseless
how can emptiness
such nothingness
be so heavy
weighing down on me
crushing everything within me
suffocating
leaving me helpless and hopeless
and desperate for anything
or nothing at all
just an ending
the comfort of dying

Its been a while since my last post. My life turned around for the good and I came back fighting. But now I’m here and I don’t understand. I’m 18 now, a senior in high school. I have what I want to some degree. A good job, good friends, and the love of my life. But maybe its stupid and maybe its just a minor thing but it throws me out of wack. My absences from school have become alot. I guess maybe its a senior thing but I just can’t stand being treated like a child and doing work I know is bullshit. But […]

The WORLD WILL NOT COME TO AN END IN 2012!! Please stop being so stupid if you actually think the world will end.

A cycle of the Mayan calendar will complete in 2012 (some say). And some nit-wits think that the ending of this cycle means the world will come to an end. These nit-wits are only out to capitalize on you and me.

Google “Doomsday predictions” or something and you will see many predictions in recent memory of the world coming to an end. One I remember was 1/1/2000 (the y2k bug). They are all based on stupidity.

I get that we have ice caps melting […]

I thought I have heard it all and seen it all. I hate my life sometimes, and I hate my family. But sometimes it is hard to say this.

Many times when I’m ready to give up, I tell my friends that I won’t even though they know it as well as I do that it’s a bold faced lie. When things get bad I always want to give up. But my friends try to encourage me to keep going. But even when the going gets tough, I’m always ready to throw in the towel.  How can I keep this up before I completely lose […]

everyday i wait till the end

at night i hope it never will.

every weekend is just bonding time with my bed and sometimes the supermarket

and school is simply hell.

sometimes i go home,

im happy there

sometimes.

wheres the shortcut?

how do i get out of this maze and to the pot of golden happiness at the end.

how do i skip to where my life becomes awesome,

and most importantly, how do i get through tomorow

Everyone dies — how nice that sounds.

i’m pretty pissed off right now, my sister just call me a fat ***** ( i just lost 25 kilos and still have 10 more to go, so i’m very sensitive about that right now i feel i cant to it anymore i want to give up on losing more)  i have just moved out of home and i come back for a night and she still treats me like i’m a pieace of shit i hate it, she will never know how much i hate her and one day i will be gone and she will think what happen i have toled her once.. she make me feel sad and angry but she dosent […]

i gambled everything i had today.

i am driving out to the highest overpass in my city and jumping off tonight after i post this. i am putting in enough gas to just get there so i am not tempted to drive back and i am not taking any money.

i have been coming here a long time and reading.  i read about how other people feel about suicide and how they talk about it. i compare my own feelings to see if they are real.

i know what you all are feeling. i know the hollow pain inside of your middle that beats like a poisonous pulse, […]

I live in a small town, less than 1400 people.  I have no girlfriend and there aren’t many (about three) girls at school who might consider me out of sheer pity, but they all have boyfriends.  But if they didn’t why would they want me anyway.  They are all pretty and I am a pathetic ugly little monster.  I have no opportunity to make things better.  I guess I have to wait 2 1/2 more years until college, but things would be uncertain there too.  I doubt I’ll even have the strength to continue that long.  I’ve been waiting for happiness since I was born, […]

Images burnt into the mind,
The scar leaving what’s behind,
Taking once what was mine.

I see a dark gloomy future of the past,
Asking myself if this will ever last,
Stuck in this endless void,
Within it is my trapped joy.

Screaming louder,
Not even you can hear,
Digging to find a single tear.

If you see me laugh,
Will you call me insane?
I’m just stuck inside this brain.
Is it so hard to ask for?
Your love?
My pain?
I love you.
No matter how much it rains.

O god..I am there, thank you for finally giving me the courage..I have been wanting to do this for so long, welcome any pain then this one..A gay diabetic..20 years old..and yet to old to be raped, held a dying friend, beaten by my so called loved ones..Well this curse will be my savior as it plunges into my blood to release me of this..

Im so angry and so full of this..I HATE YOU, that goes to all my so called friend who laughed when I was rapped for being where I wasnt suppose to..my fault I guess..w/e…when he broke my arm the man who […]

I feel so alone,
so all alone.
My days are dark,
where a light had once shone.
But the light has left me
where my spirit once was
now only a black hole
and the reason because…
Because I’ve pushed my spirit aside
my body rejects the light
light no longer brightens my eyes
and I’m only left with no fight.

So much sadness
Too much pain
Every day chaos
Within my brain
It’s too much to bear
– being insane

Why does physical pain
feel so good
yet memories of pain
hurt so deep

I feel so alone,
so all alone.
My days are dark,
where a light had once shone.
But the light has left me
where my spirit once was
now only a black hole
and the reason because…
Because I’ve pushed my spirit aside
my body rejects the light
light no longer brightens my eyes
and I’m only left with no fight.

So much sadness
Too much pain
Every day chaos
Within my brain
It’s too much to bear
– being insane

Why does physical pain
feel so good
yet memories of pain
hurt so deep

Okay, I haven’t been on here for a really long time… well… becuz i think i found somone that i love, her same is Asia Mosely. I loved her ever since i met her…. she says im a waste of her time, but my love is no waste… But all my dreams were crushed today when she sayd “..I dont love him the same anymore…”… i love her… I need her, but wer getting in this fight, and its killing me… she says i dnt love her but if i didnt love her i wouldnt be cring this much…. Imma put this in my Drafts […]

Want out soooooooo bad. Nownownownow. Just go/to sleep forevr
Can’t do life anymorewant to die nowsosry my son will find mewhen he gets rdy for his mng classes hell thnk I slept in andty towake mecant anymore nomore nomore I need to stop beingjust no lnger exst nedout…………………nlow

All around me is darkness. Every step I make is just another step towards worthlessness. A cloud is just forever over my head, raining on me, pouring depression on me.

The world screams at me, You’re ugly, you’re fat, you’re dumb, you’re not good enough, you’ll never be good enough like her, you’ll never be anything.

I don’t know where to go anymore. I look left, it’s just sadness. I look to the right, it’s sadness. I feel as if I’m just stuck. I’m stuck in this little world where I’ll never get better.

I feel as if no one understands. I don’t have anyone I can really […]