Life is just too much for me. Every way I look, I see signs of my own failure. I simply cannot overcome my anxiety and depression. My job has endless hours and endless demands and pressure and endless negativity. Yet I’m stuck there since I can’t afford to pay this company back for all the training they’ve invested in me. I don’t think I can do this job any longer; I’m just not smart enough, not quick enough, not able to get things done fast enough. I really don’t think at this point I can do any job, which will eventually leave me homeless and […]
Where do I start and go?
There is nothing on this earth worth living for.
Everyday I live with anxiety, low self esteem and fear.
I am 21 and I’m from a broken family, I don’t think I’ve ever been loved from anyone on this earth. I was molested by my grandfather at a young age before he died, My father has anger issues called myself and siblings fat and i’ve watched him physically and emotionaly abuse my younger brothers, i’ve raised my older sister with downsyndrome until she was older enough to take care of herself.
My mother has schizopherna and I’ve watched her constant suicide attempts throughout my […]
And if you save yourself
You will make him happy
He’ll keep you in a jar
And you’ll think you’re happy
He’ll give you breathing holes
Then you’ll think you’re happy
He’ll cover you with grass
And you’ll think you’re happy
Now
You’re in a laundry room,
You’re in a laundry room
Conclusion came to you, oh
And if you cut yourself
You will think you’re happy
He’ll keep you in a jar
Then you’ll make him happy
He’ll give you breathing holes
Then you’ll think you’re happy
He’ll cover you with grass
Then you’ll think you’re happy
Now
You’re in a laundry room,
You’re in a laundry […]
I don’t have friends.
I used to think that I was weird or something because no one wanted anything to do with me when I was a kid, they would come up to say hi and everything and try to be friendly, but I was always too secluded and shy to say anything back, so they would back off, and sooner or later try again, and fail to still get me to talk.
Now people don’t even try to talk to me.
People call me the quiet girl, but I’m far from it. I love to talk to people one on one, if its just me and someone […]
Well since i was in 5th grade i have always known in some sick way that i would not live a long life. I in truth did not want one. Now i am 17 and that to me is surprising.
My life has always been hard, but sometimes as i got older life got i guess more bearable. Recently though my relationship of almost 2 years ended. This is stupid i know, but its all my fault. I cheated and the boy i cheated with meant nothing to me. I have been trying to move on, i […]
I feel so bad, people go through what i do every day and still manage to be fine and healthy individuals, why can’t I cope as well as them?
im a guy in his 30’s…..throughout the years had the odd periods of suicidal tendencies…gues who hasnt…but as i write this message….i just wish i could go through with it…i have literally hit a brick wall where i see nothing past it…i get a full hot body sweat that sweeps through and releases through my fingers…..
im jealous of people who do it..who take the decision….brave enough…i know…i know thats wrong to think like that…my thinking is blinkered … of course im not thinking about the family of that person..the mum who gave birth…an that is my position tonite…i want want want so much to do […]
I know what I’m going to do. Monday morning, no ifs or buts. There is a multi storey car park. I’m going to listen to my music one last time and have one last cigarette. I’ve written a note for my mum and my sister but I will ring them one last time, just to hear their voices one last time. Then I’m going to just let myself fall. I’m just tired of living. I’ve been through too much to believe that life will get better. The world is a depressing and evil place and I for one have no intention of living on to […]
i cant sleep. i know its the depression and suicidal thougths. it happened the last time. its a warning that im getting really bad. its horrible. i feel like a damn zombie. but at least im not hallucinating. It only happens when im really, really bad and pretty much only lasted two days leading up to my first attempt. I know i havent told my story yet and im sorry about that. you have to understand though, the last person (and only person) i told turned their back on me and pretty much laughed in my face about me killing myself. it was my closest […]
So, I am a 16 years old female who lives in California, and I just got released from juvenile hall on March 24. I was sober for 2 months thanks to juvie, home supervision, and the fact I had to pee in a cup. One day, I got super drunk at the beach with a few friends. I have self esteem issues, and it was really affecting me that day. I was in a good mood, but I thought this girl was prettier than me and I started to feel disgusting. My mood changed violently. All of a sudden I was screaming at people because […]
I didn’t get to say goodbye to my son. He took his own life because he couldn’t cope with his pain anymore. I’ve had a lot of very bad things happen to me in my life but his death…the way he died was the absolute worst thing to ever happen in my life and I am having extreme difficulty trying to live…just waiting to die now. I have no way to cope with this event. I know that tomorrow may or may not get better and that I have to be alive to find out what will happen and that is […]
how much can one person take ? how much pain , betrayal , heartbreak . . . uud be surprised how much i’ve been through . i joined this site today because i dont know what to do anymore . ive been through so much shit in my life and it just keeps getting worse as i get older . i might as well start where everything began to fall apart .
when i was in 5th grade i went to my grandparents house for the day with my family . we got there and all my aunts and uncles were there too , so we […]
~Whiskey Lullabye~
Speakings from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complainee. This note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the Punk Rock 101 Courses over the years, it’s my first introduction to the, shall we say ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has been proven to be very true. I haven’t felt the excitement of listening to, as well as creating music, along with really writing something for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond […]
I’ve been a member of this site for a while now, and really…I haven’t been on this page for about 5 months because I thought everything was going to be fine. Someone helped me stop cutting, I was doing okay at school. And then today, my stupid dad just…
My parents want me to stop going to school because we just can’t afford it right now…heh. It’s nothing new, I’m pretty sure tons of students are facing the same thing. It’s just that…I was going to be a junior in high school. I was so excited for everything, prom and thinking about college. And now, just 3 weeks before […]
Im 12, and ive been slitting my wrist for almost a year.
It all started with a guy, and he played me, and i really loved him, I know. It sounds silly, but then it turned into heaps of drama, I started doing it more and more because of him, and i told my bestfriend.
She told the school one day, and they rang my mum. Sadly i got sent to the princables office, and was crying so much. I was shattered someone else new. I was angry she told, But i sort of new.
My mum was shocked by this, and sad to. I […]
My eyes shift to the left. What do they see? Maybe the real question is. How do I feel? I don’t feel these dark circles fading. I don’t feel my appetite coming back. The way i feel on the inside, its beginning to reflect on my outside. The sad part is, they begin to see it to. Im rotting, and the world knows it. I don’t feel this dry taste of blood in my mouth leaving soon. Something is not right. I smile, but only to show what i just spat up in my mouth. I grit my teeth and glare at the monster […]
1. there is no way i am getting rid of my guns (i have multiple, two pistols “glock 19 and .22lr”, an Assault Rifle “AK47″, and a sniper rifle”Remington 700”.) Â chances are that i would shoot my self with either the glock (less mess) or the AK47 (my most prized possession, its like a child to me) 2. there is no damn way im getting hospitalized cause i will be totally judged and i would not be able to join the army in 1 year if i decide to live after. 3. i have no medicine, i only told one friend and they dont take […]
I won’t bother attaching some long and pointless sob story to this. I’m sure that, whether you’d admit it or not, the people who take the time to read this are all a bit sick of them by now. So, straight and to the point. I’ve decided, I’m ready to kill myself. The issue is I’m not sure how yet. I’ve tried hanging myself once. I got to the bridge and sat there for about half an hour trying to talk myself into it but ultimately didn’t have the guts. I’ve held a steak knife to my throat to my throat at night since I […]
You keep on hurting me and keep pretending you didnt do anything wrong when you know you did. It hurt when you do this. I told you your one of the reasons i want to kill myself and you still wont stop. I just wish you were diffrent and didnt hurt me i really want to be your friend.
Through out my whole life I was that kid over there. No one ever seemed to like me so I was forced to create an entire personality and live a lie. The one thing the brought me joy was being praised for my intelligence. I even recieved 2 schoarships to my current private school. Well my family is kinda poor so that helped a lot and they bragged about it and I felt a little good. Now I am failing out and might have to leave the school. I’m just a dissapointment again.
Since I was little my only goal was to graduate highschool and then […]