I keep playing Russian Roulette (THE SONG!) over and over again. It provokes my old thought process. I was able to write poetry for the first time in a few weeks. It was pretty intense.

I have to go to martial arts tonight. I like it a lot but I feel stupid since I’m just a beginner, and since I kind of like my instructor and this other guy in my class. But, lucky me… They’re too much older than me. The last guy I dated was 17 and he was flaky as hell! He was so annoying. And he tried to act like he knew […]

I’m 21 years old, and I still haven’t finished school. Some of my friends are in universities and all…anyways, I’ve been feeling like this since 7th grade, that was 8 years ago, where I first tried to kill myself, with a pair of scissors, I went to see a therapist, but that didn’t help obviously, otherwise I wouldn’t be suicidal right about now. I tried to kill myself last week, because I feel that I have let down my parents, everybody. I live in iceland for the moment, day in day out, I get more and more depressed, I write poems, because it’s a way […]

I’m 22 and I have  a college degree in music.  That’s about all I have going for me and in this country that is not much.  I don’t have any real skills to get by in this country because it is so totally fucked up.  The school systems here are not conducive to the real world environment  and the economy is fucked as well because we live in a capitalistic mentality where the rich get richer and the poor all want to die.  I am one of the poor that wants to go buy a 40 dollar gun at the local Walmart and blow my […]

I just was looking through some of my old stuff and it reminded me of my past. It is said “One reason God created time was so that there would be a place to bury the failures of the past.” I never really got that saying until recently. My depression began in seventh grade back when I thought that I new pain. Depression hit and everything seemed like it didnt matter. I guess I felt the normal feelings of depression; lack of interest in hobbies, constantly spending time in my room, and being irritable to everyone. The truth is since I was a young boy […]

When I was 2 years old my brother started to sexually abuse me. That lasted for many, many years. When I was 6 he raped me and then again when I was 12. I learned that saying “no” just got me into more trouble than going along with whatever was going to happen.

I started cutting at the ripe old age of 5 and continued until well into my 40’s. No one ever knew until I confessed to a therapist and she helped me to stop. Thank you DBT.

My first suicide attempt was in junior high. I walked into traffic on a busy highway. The […]

People always say that suicide is a temporary solution to a temporary problem but in some cases people have permanent problems and I am such a case. All my life I have been seen as different and spent time in special education classes and was transferred to a different school because I had problems socializing with others. My life during school has miserable and in high school when most guys were getting dates and I couldn’t because of my differences and I considered suicide. Back then I figured that I shouldn’t commit suicide because things will only get better. I have regretted that choice ever […]

Hello, I’ve posted here before. My name is “SleepingIntheNothing”
I talked before how everything seems pointless to me and I don’t understand anything. I always research why people do the things they do ect. Have been feeling better the last few days. Have been learning a lot about art, and philosophy ect. Sometimes I have a mental problem where I can’t concentrate on anything because of random and unpredictable panic attacks. I just started reading “Sophie’s World” and it is quite an interesting book about philosophical concepts and the meaning of the world. Anyone read it before?
Now I understand that it is pretty […]

I am 16 years old, and alive. I came close to ending my own life a year ago. Practically out of nowhere, I went through a severe depression, and felt hopeless, worthless, and apatetic about my own existence. There were days where I couldn’t even make myself get out of bed. I would cry myself to sleep, and whenever I did wake up, I would go right back to sleep so I didn’t have to feel the pain. I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone about what I was going through because I was embarassed, felt crazy, and still believed that I wanted to end […]

FUUUUUCK! I’ve really fucked up. I apologize to any youngins reading this. Damn it.

Selfish

I wish I could kill myself.  I am so afraid of doing it, especially not succeeding.  I know what would happen if I don’t succeed and people find out.

I am tired of my life.  Am 30 years old.  I’ve lived a lie all my life.  I think its the first time I even talk about it, but I like men.  I have had this secret inside forever and have never done anything about it.  I am engaged to be married in 2 months.  She is a great woman.  My professional life is a disaster.  I haven’t been able to find a decent job since I […]

I try to downplay what I feel. Or I try to make it more than it’s worth. People know me to have so much depth, never giving me a break from their expectations. At least they’re starting to give up on me. I do martial arts, I sing, I dance, I write, I’m always obsessed with something, and I’m always depressed…. But, I never, ever cry.

People used to love saying “Let me pray for you” or “Jesus will help you” I used to hear that shit all the time until I told my teacher to fuck off. It’s actually kind of funny since she’s my […]

Music to sooth, de-stress and encourage to seek beauty for the depressed, traumatized, and self loathing alike. Try to keep pushing. I hope you enjoy. If you have a good sound systems kudos.

Ravel – Bolero: Best sound quality I could find on YT.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJnXPPzXX6s

Zero 7 – Destiny:

Massive Attack – Teardrop

Sia – Numb:

Zero 7 – This World:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0WeFvRcR8Y&feature=related

And lastly another well known classical piece by Prokofiev that is very inspiring Montagues and Capulets.

Enjoy;

Selfish

where to start? well I’m 29 yrs old and l I’ve been depressed for a long as I can remember. I tried to kill myself about 9 yrs ago, I hung myself until I blacked out, it was almost painless the pain only lasted less then a minute then I couldnt feel anything, but my wife cut me down and they rushed me to the hospital so I woke up in the hospital angry that I didn’t succeed and now I was stuck going to a mental clinic for like 3 months taking pills that didn’t do anything to help, but at least I […]

so what im trying to say is think of the futuer and realize that you are hurting everyone around u and u do kill youre self you will never find out what you where put on earth for so from someone that has almost done it please dont you can come out of it and there is always someone willing to help

told her it was something i have thought about sine i was 13 and she realized she was hurting me more by yelling at me cause i went to the batroom with aknife and she came in to apollagize for yelling at me then she made me realize that it wouldnt just hurt her but it would hurt my 5 yearold daughter and my 2 yearold son and my parents and brother and sister but i keep thinking about what gods got in store for me when he let me live when i hit that colvert at 75mph and i knew i shouldent have servived […]

in my mouth and wanted to end my life but i didnt i even drove my car at 75mph and hit a colvert and servived at the age of 17 but now im 23 and married for3years with 2 kids and thinking agine if i should kill myself cause i have found that my wife has cheated on me at least 4 times and i feel my self growing mad and scared i might hurt her cause how my dad was i serched for hours today looking for the best way to kill my self and my wife had caught me looking at it and […]

high my name is tim ever since i was 13 ihave thought about comiting suicid when i was 13 i watched my dad about choke the life out of my mother and i had been through some big relationships and i found my self getting very mad from being cheated on and holding stuff in and growing very mad and i thought about killing my self because i seenmy self becoming like my dad and it scared me so i tookin drinking smoking dope and snorting coke or skying i dont know what they call it now and ive tasted a gun in

I’ll start with the simple details. I’m a 16 year old blond spanish/italian blooded atheist kid born in Denver with a very sex appealing look and brother of a famous person on MTV who knows most big stars from Jack White to Jimmy Page, and even all famous latin american stars worth being named.

I’ve had a recent interest in reading other people’s suicide stories because I admire fairy tales and stories like Romeo and Juliet with dreadful endings; explains the reason I’m here and had a sudden interest in writing my own story… and unlike others I’ll be very detailed and open minded when explaining […]

I’ve thought about death. I haven’t thought about killing myself yet but i’ve thought how it would be like after i die. I don’t want to kill myself but it feels like the only answer I’ve got. I’m not happy. I’ve tried smiling at everyone but it just seems like a waste of time. It does not make me happy. My grades have dropped . My friend s think I’m stupid. I’m useless. I love God but I don’t have the insurance’s that his there. What if my Gods not real. What if Jesus is not there? I feel terrible even thinking about these things. […]

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” – Jesus, Matthew 11:28

hey everyone.

i don’t have too much to say but i’ll start off by mentioning that this post isn’t at all for myself.

there are a lot of people who come to this site and write down their experiences/situations for others to read, but many of us here don’t really receive help.

the only way things fall away from goodness is because of a lack of God. so basically what i’m trying to say is that if you really want to make your life […]