I read disturbing stories, often just looking for something to feel. Usually it’s horror. So if horror specifically dealing with suicidal people sounds like a yuck thing, bail, nothing else of value here.

BTW, before I get into my hypothetical, if you’re looking for a full length book on the subject, The Black Farm is both substantially disturbing, and dealing with suicide. I need to reread that. The guy wrote a sequel, but I’m less than enthused about that.

It’s the first story in the collection You Know It’s True by JR Hamantaschen , a story called; “I should have been a pair of ragged claws / […]

i don’t even want to do anything. nothing seems fun. my games, my art, my music, my writing, the videos i watch. my body won’t even let me sleep the day away. the people above our apartment continuously scream and stomp and body slam into the floor, which is just so awesome. mom and stepdad have been fighting. even better. I can’t even use the normal fucking laundry basket because of it. jokes on them, i haven’t changed out my clothes in days. i’m bored, but there’s nothing fun to do. even my typical things. my comfort things. nothing is fun anymore. everything is so bleak […]

????? ???? ????? ???????? ??????

?????????? ???? ????? ??????

?????????? ????, ??? ?????????? ?? ????? ???????????? ??????? ? ??????? ??? ????? ??????? ?????????? ??????, ? ????????? ??? ???? ????? ?????????? ????? ???? ????? ????????? ????? ? ??????. ???? Crash 1Xbet ??????: ?????????? ??????????? ??? ????????? ????????? ?????????? ??????????, ??? ????????? ????? ??? ????????? ???????, ? ?? ???? ?????? ?? ??????????, ? ??????????? ???????????.

?????????? ????????? ? ??????? ???? ?????? ???? ? ???????? ??????? ????????? ??????. ??????, ?????? ?????????? ????????, ????? ??????? ???? ???????????? ????????. ????? ???????, ??? ???????? ???????? ??????? ?????????? ??????????????? ? ???????? ??????????????? ???.

Okx P2P ????????

? ???? ??????????? ? ?????????? ????? ?????, […]

????? ???? ????? ???????? ??????

1Xbet Evolution Gaming: ?????????? ???? ?????????

??????? ?? ????? ?????????? ? ????????? ? ??????? 1Xbet Evolution Gaming. ??? ???? ?????????? ??? ????? ??????????, ????????? ???? ???? ????????? ??????? ????????? ???? ?????. 1Xbet ????????????? ??????????? ??????????? ? Evolution Gaming, ???????? ??????? ???????????? ??????? ? ???????????? ????????????.

???? ?????????? ????? ????

????? ????, ?????? ???? ?????????? ? ?????????? ??????, ????? ????????? ???? ????? ?? ???????. ??? ?????? ????, ? ?? ??????????? ?????? ??? ??????????? ? ???? ???????.

?????? ???? ????????????? ??????

????? ? ??? ????????? ?????? ????????, ????? ?????, ???? ?? ?????????????. ?? ?????????? ??? ????????? ???????? ???????, ??????? ??????? ??? ??????? ?????????? ???????.

Tinkoff Binance P2P

???, […]

Some things just have to be confessed to the world. When I was in 4th class aged 9 there was an ongoing occurrence of someone deliberately missing the urinal and going all over the lavatory floor. This lavatory was adjacent to my classroom so the culprit could have only come from my class. The teacher, who was female so by nature even more gullible than 9 yr old boys came up with the following plan to catch the culprit. This grown woman, if I recall correctly about 35 and in no way fuckable although I do recall I would often stare at her big boobs […]

It’s the first. I’ve said it before, but winter time has that odd feeling about it. The feeling that everything around you is dying and decaying. Just the air feels different. It get dark around 4:30 where I’m at. So everytime I walk home, it’s dark, cold, and decaying. If there was ever a time I would choose to end my life, it would be in the winter.

I’ve got 2 weeks left. Behind on damn near everything. Don’t know if I’ll make it. I got all As last semester, but failing one course is all it […]

Since I was a child I always stood out because of my Autism, and I felt lonely and depressed. I rarely made friends and only managed to have a partner for a few months. In highschool suicidal thoughts started to become common and near the end of school I had the desire to do something violent because of the influence of what I saw online and on the news, since I was naive and foolish, but decided that It was just far too wrong. A few years pass and I start to strangely become obsessed with suicide victims and suicide methods, I would spend hours […]

I am the cause of my own pointless suffering. It’s being generated within me. So I feel a sense of responsibility to try and reduce it. Because I’m the only one that can. Not that others can’t ever provide assistance. But they can’t fix me. They can’t save me. They can’t change me. I’m on my own, and it’s probably always going to be that way.

The problem is that I don’t feel like I have to capacity to effectively help myself. I feel exhausted and full of despair most of the time. Often it’s like I’m barely in control of myself. I wasted half an […]

i dont think im strong enough to continue living. im so, so weak. and tired. i dont want to hurt anyone… but i can barely take it anymore

Speaking to people, for me, is like trying to walk through a field of eggshells. I have to be so careful about what words I use because there are certain words that my mouth won’t let me speak. I have to plan every word I say just to avoid going into a stuttering “attack”.

I chronically stumble, stutter, and have difficulty saying my words. It’s hard for my own family to understand what I’m saying because I can’t enunciate my words. In school, I will go without help just so that I don’t have to experience the embarrassment of trying to talk.

It feels like I have […]

I’ve been doing a lot of study on the last time things changed in my country, turned around, and why. So let me take you back a hundred years

Everyone was bad at fighting World War 1. England was bad at it, so was France and even Germany. There are myread reasons behind this, mostly that European armies had more experience in the last century fighting colonial wars, that is wars to prop up their various colonies. Most of the wars of the previous century were fought at sea, but this resulted in everyone overprepping naval assets and neglecting troops and land logistics. So the first […]

Right, I get that life is general is pointless, all of us are on a one way trip to the grave and whatnot, general existential BS….. and that’s a great defense, not even going to fight that part

but being a disinterested zen master is still beyond me. I’m working on it….. today in therapy I reached a lot deeper than I thought I would, ever. I talked about how angry and cheated I feel…… and it really comes back to the pointlessness of effort

because my therapist asked if I would go back to work, and I responded; that isn’t up to me. If someone could […]

????? ???? ????? ???????? ??????

P2P Mailing Ltd ??? ???

P2P Mailing Ltd – ??? ????????????? ????????, ?????????????????? ?? ????????????? ???????? ????? ? ????????? ?????? ????. ????????? ????????????? ????????? ?????????? ? ????????? ??????????? ?????????, P2P Mailing Ltd ???????????? ???????? ? ??????????? ???????? ?????? ? ??????????????? ????? ????????.

Gambit Navi 1Xbet

Gambit Navi 1Xbet – ??? ????????????? ??????????????? ??????????, ? ??????? ??????? ??????????? ?? ????? ?????????. ?????? ?? ????? Gambit Navi 1Xbet ?????????? ??????? ????????????? ????? ????????? ??????????? ? ???????? ???????? ???????? ???????? ?????????????? ???????? ? ????????? ???.

??? ?????? ???????? ? 1Xbet ?? ??????

??? ????? ????????? ? 1Xbet ?? ??????, ??? ?????????? ????? ? ??? ??????? ?? ????? […]

I feel so socially behind compared to my peers. Today, I overheard a girl talking about how she almost got caught having sex with her boyfriend. I heard another group of kids talking about a party they went to over Thanksgiving break. I’ve never done anything close to either.

I’ve never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl. I haven’t even held hands with another girl in a romantic way. The only parties I’ve been to have been birthday parties, either mine or a relative’s.

I feel like I’m wasting my youth. I know that high school isn’t the end of the world, but I do wish […]

i dont feel sick anymore. mentally ill, i mean. i feel like im healing, and it makes me feel…weird. like, what am i supposed to do if im not being crushed by my mental illness? im so used to reliving the same day by day that honestly when i start doing well like i am right now, it really feels off. like im not supposed to be feeling well.

idk.

This society is so brainwashed and ignorant. They tell men that expressing emotions is feminine. Another problem is telling men ”what a real man is”. Men are not robots. We are human beings that deserve to be loved.

I never had a good childhood. I forgot many of my memories a long time ago. I’ve  been suicidal for a long time but I can easily hide it. No individual will expect me to do it. Honestly. I never wanted to die. I just don’t to want live a horrible  life. 

My mom died of cancer(when I was 10) so her friend adopted […]

So, my GF is in rehab for alcohol, she’s doing well, but I miss the hell out of her. I’m not okay mentally but physically I’m holding myself together so she doesn’t get concerned. I’m doing my best not to say things like, “I miss you” because I’d don’t want her to leave there before she’s ready for me, and she’s the kind of person that would. I did say it once and I started crying. I’m trying to be supportive but I can’t even begin on the whole story of how hypocritical I feel.
 

I’m scared that when she gets out she will […]

~3min

—
Those poor fish. Literally damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

I feel like this. Screwed no matter what, unless you’re the lucky few % that happen to make it through. And I’m certainly NOT one of the lucky few… -_-

This post is about soda- yes, the soda you buy at stores.

So I was at the store yesterday, and I never buy soda (haven’t bought ACTUAL soda in YEARS) but they had a sale on soda- and I bought the 0 sugar 0 caffeine Ginger Ale. It’s pretty much the only mainstream soda I would buy as soda is obviously bad for you. But even 0 sugar 0 caffeine 0 HFCS is still bad and addictive.

IDK what’s in this bottle that’s addictive bc it’s usually the sugar, caffeine and HFCS, but it’s still addictive bc I drank like half the 2L […]

It’s Thanksgiving today. My folks and brother came up to see me. Got here on Monday. I’m happy to see them, but I kind of forgot what it was like to be around people. Especially since I have a set routine and way of doing things here. It also doesn’t help that they are practically geriatric. Getting anywhere or telling them something requires a lot of patience which I’ve never really had. I know I should, but I don’t. It gets to a point where I get annoyed trying to get lunch. I don’t want to be […]