I’ve been trying to keep myself alive until I can actually afford the right equipment to make my exit. I can now buy my ******** tank and Gas Flow Regulator. It’s empowering to know I will finally be able to Exit On-Demand. With only a few breaths I will be able to leave all my misery behind.
Anybody regret anything? Or if you had the chance to undo / redo something, what would it be?
Me1- Should have gone for a different degree at a different university
Me2- Should not have quit my job / should have applied to others jobs
Me3- Should not have broken up with my ex (should have told him my depression, feelings)
Me4- Should have waited at least 1 day to drive back to DC
Me5- Should NOT have gone out that 1 fateful night, despite telling ex-friend NO a dozen times.
Me6- Should NOT have moved back home
Me7- Should not have worked so […]
Trigger Warning: past suicide attempts
Gosh, I do remember that I’ve been here since 2013.
So, I was in my early 20s when I first posted here. I know not many people post here anymore, and that’s a shame to see in some ways, but in other ways, I guess it’s a good thing? Everyone uses social media and stuff now I think.
Most of my life was in an abusive environment (my dad subjected me to constant emotional and psychological abuse). I do remember how completely awful my social skills were for many, many years (I’m self taught). I remember I used to just want to […]
I haven’t posted in a long time.
I don’t really like to write online much anymore (moreso pertaining to personal stuff) for various reasons.
I feel for anyone going through injustices, misery and suffering. Not that I can do anything and I’m sorry for that.
Humanity can be so cruel and continues to be so cruel.
It’s been nearly 2 years since my mum passed away.
I don’t mind my life at this point, but it’s just going nowhere, just like all the other years of my life.
I don’t even know what I want, I don’t know what I want to do, I’m just going […]
Interesting Video. What do you all think?
Tired of being human. Tired of living this life that involves these problems.
Take a look at this story- this is just ONE example of how fucked up society is, how fucked up people are in general. This asshole manager isn’t the only asshole acting like this. We see more and more stories of the shit ppl do- this is beyond Karens and Darens. Something is fucking wrong with ppl these days. Do you think so? Growing up, we didn’t see all these stories- but then I grew up before the days of the internet and social media. IDK if people have ALWAYS been this shitty, or it just wasn’t covered bc […]
Today is the day when I finally get all of my bad prison tattoos covered-up! Its taken years, and ive had to save up a ton of money for it. But its something I had to do for myself. Im going to feel SOOOO much better about myself after the day is done! Excited.
But I mention this here because I havent been any different from the rest of you. I was a drunken pessimist that had given up on life and the world. It turned out, climbing out of the hole is possible, although difficult. It isnt my intention to ever insert toxic positivity into […]
Have had a SHIT life since literally the day I was born. Been nearly half a century now and life has NOT gotten better, only WORSE.
-WHEN THE FUCK DO I GET A BREAK?
-WHEN WILL “THINGS GET BETTER?” as I’m constantly being told this by everyone for the past 22-32 years.
? :Tick tock.
? :What you gonna do about it, brother?
Trevor: I’m so sorry. I screwed it all up. I don’t even know what’s happening to me anymore.
?: You’ve gotta eat your vitamins and say your prayers! Oh yeah!
Rex: You’ve failed to keep yourself under control. You’ve officially lost yourself.
Trevor: What can I do here? I’m so stressed out. The lack of money. I’m in the worst shape of my life. I have to get myself going again.
?: You will never, EVER, be the same again!
Rex: You forgot about me for a long time, but I’ve been here, in the background. Trying to help you, […]
I figure everybody has a comfort food movie or couple of movies, so that’s why I ask the question.
Right now I’m watching Pet Semetary, which is one of mine because it has that beautiful contrast of that lifestyle I want to live in the country but it also deals with mortality, death and the lack of control we all have. Well I’m actually watching Pet Semetary Bloodlines first to see if it gets better on re viewing.
I’m fascinated by the use of the legend of the Wendigo by this film series, same goes for the use in Until Dawn.
Another comfort food film is Dark Night […]
Just found out from my mom today that my dad’s doctors think that he’s got some kind of condition in his brain that is setting him up for a major stroke. Also he’s not doing well at all. I know he’s been telling me he’s not feeling well, but I could see it while I was with him today.
I guess I just need to go over and check on him tomorrow, there’s nothing else that will make me feel any better. I can’t discribe this feeling, or what he means to me. I’m not ready for him to go, I talked about this with my […]
As if my ENTIRE life hasn’t been bad enough…
The Universe wants to throw MORE shit at me.
FUCK YOU UNIVERSE
and
Fuck EVERY SINGLE SHITTY PERSON that has ever screwed me over
and
FUCK ALL THE SHITTY FUCKING DRS that have repeated IGNORED ALL MY SYMPTOMS despite me telling you all for 22 Fucking Years that SOMETHING was wrong.
Do I NOW have a reason to be angry?
And All these MFs kept telling me to “not be angry,” “think happy,” “don’t dwell on the past,” “stop thinking negatively,” “just get over it,” etc
FUCK YOU TOO
cuz NONE of you guys 1- ever gave a […]
If this is true, this is crazy (though not surprising). They should show actual screenshots of those messages.
17yo- autistic, depressed, goes on character.ai –
Texas mother sues AI chatbot for suggesting son should harm his family:
Playing this game…funny the sign in the game says this:
I don’t live in Oregon, but this is fucked up. And what is with 95% of the comments cheering this on??
All of us here think we’re all fucked up in the head- and yes, that’s true. But when I watch these documentaries and true crime stuff…I start thinking…maybe I’m not THAT fucked up after all…
I watched this like 1-2 nights ago. This is a TRUE story- she was arrested and this is actual police footage. So…apparently the husband watches child porn, and because she’s getting ignored by him, she has sex with their dog. Yes, dog. Yes, watch the video. No the video doesn’t obviously show the crazy acts.
I mean, I guess we’re not THAT fucked […]
will you pass a day without thinking of dying? i don’t think i will.
if i don’t keep this job i need to finally end this, i need to promise myself. there needs to be a solid deadline. i don’t think i can find better work than this, where i don’t feel like a complete outcastst. it’s so hard to hide how i feel, it’s written plainly on my face.
i’ve been struggling a lot lately.
in the end, i did call my relationship quits. after all, it wasn’t fair for either of us. i’m surprisingly okay though, kinda weird. honestly i didn’t even feel bad about it being over. i feel a bit bad about it, but i guess it is what it is.
i don’t know what’s going on with me lately. i’ve kinda been retraumatizing myself a bit. if not a lot.
it feels like i’m stuck in the past. waaaay back in the past. it’s so annoying honestly. it doesn’t let me live my life currently. how am i 27, still […]