Tag:

3 Years

by Devils_Advocate 4/23/2016

written by Devils_Advocate

Opened this website today after 3 years. Seems like a pretty long time. Reading the post I had posted back then, a lot has changed.

I was depressed back then, I am depressed now. In fact, more than depressed. But the thing that has changed is, I got used to it. It’s mine. I keep it close to my heart. I go out with friends, enjoy, play, drink. learn stuff and all the things that a normal person does, almost all the things. I have got to a point where I don’t have connections with people. Even in company, I am always aloof. I can’t find […]

4/23/2016 4 comments

Why does everyone always leave?

by Metalgore 2/6/2016

written by Metalgore

I never really had a problem with people abandoning me because of what had happened to me a couple years ago. I was 10 years old when my best friend passed away due to an asthma attack. I was so devastated and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to go on with my life now that my only friend had gone.

I never wanted to get out of bed and i especially struggled when it came time for me to go to school. I lost so much weight and by the age of 11, i started cutting. I didn’t know how else […]

2/6/2016 2 comments

Day 1- Depression

by ClaudiaValencia 11/9/2015

written by ClaudiaValencia

I think I will start posting everyday that my depression acts up.

Ive been depressed since I was 3 years old on and off. It’s really quite odd though to think of a depressed three year old. Lately I’ve been getting worse though. I thought I had been cured of my depression for a while because I hadn’t felt it there. I think the reason I’m feeling depressed is because I stopped taking my antidepressants for a few days…. I know, not a smart choice.

Im gonna see my therapist at one o’clock today.

I haven’t seriously thought of suicide. I’ve cut myself quite badly though. The wounds […]

11/9/2015 2 comments

I wanted to share my story…

by ClaudiaValencia 11/8/2015

written by ClaudiaValencia

I am really nervous about sharing my story as I dont want to say anything that will bother or upset anyone 🙁 but i will try my best to express myself in a way in which no one will be upset by.

I was born in Venezuela and i moved to the united states when i was 3, iam 17 and almost 18 now. (forgive me for not mentioning where in the USA i live)

I am really grateful to this country because it has given me great opportunity where as in Venezuela I would most likely not amount to much (not that i will ever amount […]

11/8/2015 9 comments

Acceptance Should Be Acceptable.

by AshCoveredAngel 11/6/2014

written by AshCoveredAngel

After 9 years of thinking about suicide every day (first time I ever thought about it I was about 9, I’m now 22) I finally decided to let everyone know. In October I texted my mother & husband about it. My husband’s response was an atypical caring one, “just hold on” “you’re strong” “you can make it.” “we’ll survive together” etc. You know the garbage anyone spews at someone who comes forward professing their suicidal thoughts. My mother however took the atypical rude approach, “so many people have it so much worse” “you have no idea what it’s really like to struggle” “you’re life has […]

11/6/2014 3 comments

I Did This…

by renegadeRaenbow 9/13/2013

written by renegadeRaenbow

Whenever we’re little, why is it that we wish we were older? Much older? Why didn’t anyone warn us of this? The adult life is so sugar-coated and isn’t as glamorous as it’s made to be.We wasted out childhoods on wishing we were done with it, when in all actuality, we would give up anything just to go back.

I first tried to kill myself when I was fourteen, after 3 years of cutting. My parents split up, I lost my 8 day old nephew, my sisters moved out, I lost my friends, and I had nothing holding me back from suicide. I was put on […]

9/13/2013 2 comments

To be or not to be

by greybeard 9/10/2013

written by greybeard

September 10, 2013
As this may be the last year of my life, I am posting this confession, if you will, to explain why I might commit suicide sometime between June-November of 2014. It’s way out there in mid to late 2014 and not now because I’m giving myself a last chance to succeed. I’m old now, I’ve had 3 health crises in the last 3 years, and my finances, while sufficient for the next 2 years, are not enough to carry me through a long retirement. At this point, given my health, depressed mental condition, and the odds of achieving a major financial reversal […]

9/10/2013 2 comments

Is there any other way out??

by soonerthebetter 8/30/2013

written by soonerthebetter

I am a 23 year old girl from India… I am an engineer and I am doing my post graduation now… I have a loving sister, an over protective mother and a really nice father… they love me indeed but out of all the love they have for me, they just fail to see how screwed up my life is…

I was in a really committed relationship for almost 3 years… And itâ€™s been a year since we broke up… HeÂ was my first and I wanted him to be the only one… here in India SEX is everywhere but itâ€™s just a taboo when it happens […]

8/30/2013 13 comments

dealing with anxiety, depression and anorexia

by krisssssssssy 8/29/2013

written by krisssssssssy

Hi, my name is kristen and I’m 15 years old. Ive had anorexia for almost 3 years now and it has made me a manic depressed. I have had suicidal thoughts for 6 months now. I just CANT do this anymore, I hate living like this, I feel like I’m trapped. I’m forever being bullied my people who I thought were my friends. People just think they can walk all over me and I’m done. I don’t know what to do anymore… I’m getting worse and worse each day.

8/29/2013 2 comments

stop walking over me.

by liferuinedme 8/28/2013

written by liferuinedme

I feel like I just need to scream. I need to just scream and just keep screaming to get all these feelings out. I just want to be happy. After all my years of dealing with depression I’ve never wanted to be off this earth as much ad I do now. You’d think I have a good life, I work a lot, have honors and ap classes in school. But everything’s fake. I’m so fake. I wake up for school and put on a smile.I am abused. I’m a senior in highschool and Im being mentally abused by my freshman brother. I have this personality […]

8/28/2013 2 comments

No help when we need it most

by Never Clever 8/28/2013

written by Never Clever

I’ve survived suicide before, butÂ like many peopleÂ like me, I’ve never gotten over the depression.Â Quick backstory information, I OD’d about 3 years ago.Â Now suicidial thoughts have come back (note that I’m not actively suicidal right now), and it seems like my family is hostile towards me again when I need them most.

I know what it looks like, I’ve lurked on this website for several years.Â The reason my family are more hostile to me when I’m depressed is because I clamor their attention about it a lot.Â The truth is, I NEVER complain about being depressed.Â Â I don’t ‘hide’ it from them, […]

8/28/2013 4 comments

help

by tearrdr0pps 8/27/2013

written by tearrdr0pps

i’m very sad, half Â the time i don’t even know why. I feel like it’s the things i do or the things i’ve done, also that maybe it’s my parents. I want to try hard at everything Â i do but i feel like i’m incapable of doing well. People say mean stuff about me, about my hair, the way i dress, my personality, everything about me basically. I feel like no one can understand me, no one gets what i feel inside. I’ve been like this for almost 3 years, i’ve been trying so hard to fight back my urge to commit suicide, even though […]

8/27/2013 4 comments

Why now.

by mumblebumblebee 8/18/2013

written by mumblebumblebee

I have been clean for 10 weeks, which is a tremendous achievement for me, as I’ve never gone for this long.
The only thing that comes with this, however, is the overwhelming urges, especially at this time, when emotional release is important right now. I struggle to find any other forms of emotional release, I really struggle.
I am receiving my exam result in a few days, and if I fail it will affect me hugely, I would’ve let down my parents, who have held me a high standard I have enjoyed working towards, but the pressure is immense now.
I am also caught in […]

8/18/2013 1 comment

Fml

by UpsidedownWorld 8/6/2013

written by UpsidedownWorld

There’s not a moment where I think about killing myself/committing suicide. I’ve already tried twice, but I couldn’t do it. I tried to drown myself in the tub. The water was just about up to where my head was at. I put my face/wash towel over my face so I couldn’t breath at all. Then I laid back in the water. I started thinking what if I really did just kill myself right here and now? Would anyone care? I’d finally be free of pain and torment. I doubt I’m going to heaven, if it’s even real. I’m an atheist. Just as I […]

8/6/2013 13 comments

i just feel empty

by jordanriver 8/1/2013

written by jordanriver

im 16, All my life ive been depressed an alone. I’m not military family, but I’ve moved around a lot like every 2 or 3 years or less and so now I’m in a permanent place untill I’m 18 or so and ive never had friends and if I did they betrayed my trust ive just been alone my whole life and I’m bullied at school for not having any friends and being a loner ive cut many times and I just don’t know what to do anymore the emptyness and darkness I’m feeling is just driving me crazy.

8/1/2013 3 comments

my story

by sasha 7/31/2013

written by sasha

no, I dont cut. No, I wasnt abused. I’m sorry if you have been.

In 5th grade I started taking pills (amphetamine) and some for sleeping. I started getting really skinny, never eating, never hungry. I turned pale and gaunt, my parents thought I was anorexic. I couldnt explain to them that I just wasnt hungry (a side effect of amphetamine) so I lied. A lot. “yea I ate a sandwich when you were gone.” I hadnt. Ya this wasnt bad, i was a pretty happy kid, just really skinny. Then 6th grade rolled around and i weighed around 60 lb for the first half of […]

7/31/2013 8 comments

God’s will

by Sniffy 7/27/2013

written by Sniffy

I’ve had suicidal thoughts for the past several years now. Especially for the past 3 years. I consider myself a spiritual person, but I’m starting to believe that God wants me to take my own life. Life just keeps on getting worse!

This is my first post, and I am desperate for guidence and help!

7/27/2013 6 comments

Before I go, there’s something I want you all to know

by theuntouchable 7/24/2013

written by theuntouchable

At a very young age, at about 7, I accepted that, in my words and thoughts at the time, “sometimes other people will have what you aren’t meant to”. At the time, I was referring to far simpler things, yet still…. despite feeling very deprived, I struggled on trying to get what I could out of life. Life never seemed to give me back anything for my trying.

See…. by 3 years old, I had already had the skin of my hands boiled off. I don’t remember the event itself, but I sure remember the way my hands looked afterward. I also remember the fact […]

7/24/2013 4 comments

This truly is Sempiternal.

by SempiternalMisery 7/18/2013

written by SempiternalMisery

I continuously listen Bring Me The Horizon’s song ‘Sempiternal’. Every lyric, every phrase I understand, and relate to. I really am going nowhere, and the scary thing is, I just don’t care. I’ve lost all interest in even the slightest exciting thing in my life. I use to be a great sportswoman. I played for my local soccer club, swimming 3 times a week, and did Taekwondo for around 3 years. I was sooo happy and people often mistaken me for having ADHD, due to my hyper exciting personality. Wow, I miss it. The thing is, something changed. something happened, and it was almost as […]

7/18/2013 0 comment

Praying for the end

by gloomygirl1313 7/16/2013

written by gloomygirl1313

I am praying that I don’t wake up in the morning. I usually do this each night before I go to bed now. I don’t yet have the courage to end things myself but I keep thinking each day I will get braver. I know why I want to end my life would seem rediculas to many. silly.. but the pain my heart and mind are in is unbearable to me. I do not want to hear it will get better. that I will heal that there is other options or that someone out there cares. or will love me. I can not even begin […]

7/16/2013 5 comments

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