Love, is just an excuse to accept abuse.
Tag:
abuse
Dolly was dirty from playing some games
And went home to have a wash
She got some soap and a cloth
And had a good wash
But the dirt just didn’t come off
She scrub scrubbed away
For most of the day
But the dirt just didn’t come off
She clawed at her skin
To cleanse within
But the dirt just didn’t come off
She was all red and all sore
But she tore and she tore
But the dirt just didn’t come off
She chiseled at the bone
Sobbed for what she didn’t know
But that dirt just never came off
I need to know how crazy I am. I cut, burn, choke myself, abuse prescription and over the counter pills, and sometimes drive with my eyes closed to see if anything will happen. Sometimes I don’t think any of this is a big deal. I’ve grown to live like this almost constantly for the past year. Other times, I find myself sobbing, wondering what I’ve become. Is this a lot of self harm compared with others? I don’t know where I stand compared with other self harmers/suicide contemplators. I don’t know if I’m alone in this level of self hatred, or if there are others […]
Let me start from the beginning. (I’m now revising this and this definitely did not go in the order I thought it would)
I don’t want to reveal my identity too much so i’ll play this safe and call myself Kai.
I’m seventeen years old, eighteen in March. I’m a transgender boy (born female) and i’m gay. My mom’s side of the family is one of the biggest group of unsupportive close minded people you will ever meet. Ever since I was young, I knew i felt different than my siblings and cousins. My family tries to look like your average apple pie and a […]
I cant see myself growing old. Somehow I just know that my death will not be a natural one. Ive spent my entire life on my knees just trying to crawl through this darkness with no end in site and I am so tired. When I ask myself what the best part of living is I immediately think death because it is the only thing that ends this unbearable cycle. I spent the first five years of my life being regularly raped by a family member and watching my mother die from an incurable illness while being beat on by my drug abusing alcoholic father. The […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
And my thoughts spiral, how funny it is that the empath is the one that needs help themselves.
It’s been a while since she died. She was my world and I was hers. The main thing I remember was the sunshine always shone from and through her, she was always the nicest and most giving, generous person.
Should I have wondered why?
Apparently she was planning her death since before she met me. I never saw any of it, all I saw was her mask and it never slipped. I think I gave her hope, until one night, after her parents had physically abused her.
I received a phone […]
Recently I’ve been thinking about taking my own life. I just feel that I have no place in it and that doesn’t upset me at all, I’ve actually fully accepted this fate because I believe not everyone is cut out for living till the adult years. I’ve thought about suicide a few times in the past but now they’re so strong I don’t really have much control. I always had a feeling something was wrong with me since I was younger.
When I was a toddler my father was in and out of jail, he was alcoholic and was very violent. He […]
We can survive pain and lost, but how to survive injustice? What to do when all what you one day believed is pulverized in front of your eyes? What to do when you are being punish without a reason and you feel lost? Where to find that little thing, that miraculous thing that will make you wake up and try again?
One day after many years of fail intends and hardship you arrive to the place you want to live, then you are happy as you was not before in your whole life. You have a life, is not a perfect life, you have problems […]
First of, I’m new to this I came across this when I was looking for easy ways to die. I see myself as pretty messed up in the head. I had a mental breakdown when I was 17 after suffering horrific abuse and exposure..I was sectioned and before that was told by a nurse that if I had fallen asleep I would of died. I’ve always felt that no one cares about me as I’ve had my own mum tell me I was a mistake and my own nan has told me I was a 2 minute wonder baby. My depression is clinical and can […]
I grew up in a psychologically and often physically abusive household with my biomom and an overbearing 6 foot 7 “step dad” who would make me work my fingers to the bone and pick on me etc. from a small child, I was close to my grandparents and begged and pleaded with my biomom and stephitler to let me live with my grandparents. They finally did to my suprize.
Problem was, my dad was there and at that time was very physically abusive when he was drinking. When my grandfather died in December 1995, the abuse got worse. My grandma tried to stand up to him […]
Well I really didn’t want to go for help but then I found this website so I decide to post something to try and reach out to anyone. I might as well say I’m sorry for not trying to handle my own problem and instead go on this website to try and get a little hope for still living, because the only thing I feel every day is mental abuse and physical abuse. Now I’ll start off by saying that I’m 17 and I am the worst person ever. Ever since I was 13 all I wanted to do was die, especially when I was […]
You’re too ugly
You’re not smart enough
You’re not good enough
Everyone’s better
Everyone hates you
You stupid asshole
No talent piece of shit
You’re too awkward
You have no life
You have no friends
You have no future
You have no chance
Give up
End it
What if you did?
They wouldn’t care
They would laugh
They’d spit on your grave
I’m a *****
I’m a ******
I don’t deserve life
I never have
I never will
Normal people don’t give up on life
Normal people love life
Normal people are grateful for what they have
Normal people have friends that love them
Normal people don’t […]
I was first diagnosed with depression in my teens. I was supposed to be medicated but No my parents wouldn’t do that. I left home early to get away from abuse and thought I was running towards love. I was wrong. I tried going to hospitals for help but I had no insurance so it was like I didn’t exist. Years went by and I got worse. Eventually I snapped and tried to kill myself. Recently I found out I have a heart condition and had to go to the hospital. They told me not to work. I applied for Social Security but it’s taking […]
3 years since i last posted
Hi, I’m Annie, resident fuck up of phoenix arizona. But then again, we do have someone shooting up a highway here (in my honest opinion, i think it’s a part of the gun control movement. Shoot people and make them scared of guns, gets more people to orgasm over gun control.)
I used to post on here all the damn time as a 12-14 year old, I made friends on here that i never kept. It was like our own little community of fucked depressed people.
I don’t know how I remembered this website, but I am glad I […]
I guess i could either give it a fancy title or just get to the point. Depression. Anxiety. Abuse.
I have actually not came out about it (abuse) and please do not think i am doing this so you feel sorry for me or anything! Yes at the age of 5 i was abused a lot till the age of 11. It wasn’t just by one person though. Since then i’ve always been scared and try my best to reduce attracting attention. i always blamed myself.
Last year, December, i realised i had depression and was diagnosed of it. Went to several people but none helped. Just […]
I have been mentally ill for as long as I can remember. I suppose it really started somewhere in Junior High but being a surviver of some pretty horrific abuse, who really knows. I have severe Bipolar Disorder. I am not depressed now and rarely do I cycle that way. When I do its feelings of shame, guilt, worthlessness & an earthshattering urge to sleep. I don’t get sad. I feel a level of pain that is indescribable & that no one should ever have to feel. Mostly throughout my life though I have been manic. Not that manic that gives you amazing self confidence, […]
I am broken
I fear I’ve always been this way
what was it that broke me?
i doubt anyone could say
the doctors are confused
I lived a good life
supporting parents
no abuse
yet I’m broken
i often pretend I’m not
pretend I’m whole
pretend I’m happy
but I can never pretend for long
I don’t know if anyone else has to put up with this but my closest relatives don’t take my Major Depression and PTSD seriously. Even with prescription medication they still act as if it’s no big deal. They act like I’m just being “selfish” and I think it’s partly because they are largely responsible for some of the most awful psychological and physical abuse to begin with. Sometimes I get the impression they’d prefer it if I died.
All I ever want is to go back to feeling normal. But I haven’t felt normal since I was 5. My dad killed himself when I was 6, and my mum remarried. When I was 8, my stepdad began to sexually abuse me, all the way through to the age of 17. I self harmed and was seriously depressed throughout this whole ordeal. The abuse happened almost every day, in every room of the house. I’m 19 now and he is in prison, but I can’t get away from the mental, physical and emotional scars and trauma that I’m left with. I want to feel […]