I keep trying i have taken pills with alcohol and a nice side of razors in the bath but i cant seem to die what is this I HATE IT! I HATE LIFE. I HATE BEING ALIVE. I WANT TO DIE. IVE HAD ENOUGH
Tag:
Alcohol
Hi,
Of course I realise that I don’t want to die. Â I just want everything to stop. Â Or change, I don’t care. Â I supposed I will create a list of “Things I don’t like about myself”.
1. I am very overweight.
2. I drink too much alcohol.
3. I can’t apply myself to anything
4. I can’t deal with anything that stresses me.
5. I am anxious and unable to form real friendships or relationships
6. I just want to stop!
Feelings of anxiety grip my chest, causing a wave of tension to travel both down to my legs and up through my back and neck to my face and the side of […]
I lost, I give up now. How much more can I take? you keep pushing me, never have I ever feel so defeated, you won. I heard it’s so easy to OD, just heroin and alcohol, right? such beautiful peaceful departure, no more of this agonizing pain. I won’t have live my life anymore, for it is such a misery and so lonely, now and forever. Why do I have to put up with this if I don’t want to? Isn’t it at least my choice to want out? Why is suicide so bad? Why do you think people who committed it or want to […]
This is my story, I would kindly like to ask you to not put rude comments. When I was a child I was mostly forgotten about. My sister had all the attention. My parents were both alcoholics, that forced my sister and I to be our own parents. I was probably about 1-3 I couldn’t take care of myself so my sister had to. My mom was a horrible drinker. She decided to pick us up from school one day drunk. As we drove back home my sister, she looked at me. Her face full of fear and turned around that’s when we heard the […]
So yesterday the only friend I had in the world left me. He told me I was a bad person… that I was too fucked uo for him to stick around. How my apathy and suicidal ideation made it bad for him to be around me. And as much as I begged him to stay, and as much as I pleaded, there was no changing his mind.
So I came home. Bought some alcohol, bought out the pain killers. Swallowed 50. Took a blade to my wrist and carved my skin off. Then took a rope and tried to hang myself.
Yet I am […]
It’s nearly midnight and what’s happening? The thoughts are returning…..The voices are speaking..no, YELLING at me >.< I can hear them now….. “Die ***** die!” “Who says you’re worth living?” “You don’t deserve to live. Your own parents didn’t even want you. HA!”
The thoughts destroy me, kill me, suffocate me, eat me alive. My demons…they’re real. They exist. I don’t want to go on but..I have to. Not just for myself. I’m not living for myself anymore. I’m living for him. And her. For them. They may not care about me but I love them with all my heart.
It’s like…I can scream at them and […]
Looks like my previous suicide plan isn’t necessary for now. My plan was to wait for five years, then kill myself if life is fucked still, or if it fucks up. There’s no way of knowing if life will fuck up, but because I’m happier now, I’ll see how I am in five years. Eye surgery successful, even though I only have one real eye, the other one feels the same as the real one, no more pain, have friends in one state in my country if I give up on family here or if they give up on me. Either wway, suicide isn’t necessary. […]
am 19 year old, a second year student of Psychology from St. Xavier’s College.
I do not exactly remember how long it has exactly been but I have never had a good relationship with my parents since I was some 16 year old after I had my first relationship with a guy.
Though they let me go out to college, but my life is equivalent to hell. I do not say I am the only suffering person in the world, but for me, at this moment, only my pain matters.
Day before yesterday when city enjoyed one of the loveliest weather, I asked my mother […]
I miss him so much. I want my best friend back. I want to hug him and tell him just how much he means to me. I just want to see him again. I want so badly to see his bright blue eyes and blonde hair.
But I can’t.
He’s dead.
He would be ashamed of me. Drugs, alcohol, cutting, and my bitter attitude. Not much to be proud of.
There’s a part of me, though that thinks that he would be proud of me. I’ve been to hell and back, with both physical and emotional damages, but I’m still breathing. I can walk into a room and act […]
6 months ago, my 12 year old brother was in independent detention when he tried to choke himself with the wire of a spiral notebook. Gladly, someone caught him and they had the school’s deputy escort him to a behavioral institution. At the end of my school day, I was waiting down in the band hall for two of my friends, Valerie and Wolfgang, when I got the text from my mother that read: [Your brother] tried to kill himself at school. Dad and I are going to the Littleton Behavioral Institute. We don’t know when we’ll be home but you need to take care […]
Hm, this is my first time so please bare with me.
I am a young woman just turning 18. I have my group of friends. Active with school. Well liked overall. I only have all this because I thought that if I didn’t I would be tortured by the same kids that I try have love me. I live in a small town so everyone thinks they know all about me.
But in all honestly no one knows how fucked up I am.
I claim to stay positive,be strong,be your own person. The sad part is I don’t all the follow that. I’m a hypocrite. Last year one of my […]
I’ve been arguing with myself over the topic of suicide for a while now. I randomly came across this site from a Google search about suicide and felt inclined to sign up and post something. I’ll be surprised if anyone even reads this. Or comments. Or offers help.
I’m deeply, horribly depressed, and I don’t get why. I’ve never been abused. I’ve never lost a loved one. I don’t come from a broken family. I grew up in a comfortable lifestyle. I have no reason to be depressed. Alas, I am. I’m empty inside.
Although I grew up in a comfortable home, I never had […]
no
i don’t drink it
i’m too young to be an alcoholic.
don’t you know that?
it’s just the rubbing kind
that stuff.
i love it.
after i cut
both to continue the pain
and to disinfect
(’cause, yeah, i’m the only cutter in the world who gives a crap about that)
but mostly for the pain
i pour it in the cuts.
i would say it’s like
getting high
but i never have
so i can’t say.
if getting high is anywhere near as amazing as this
i see why people are stupid enough to.
it’s like
fire in my veins
it’s […]
just turned 19 ive already am off to a bad start lost my only friend and the weird part is I DONT EVEN CARE. i have no current desire to patch our friendship up. I guess its because then ill have one less thing to worry about, to act
happy with, to feel judged around and to avoid certain sensitive topics with like what ive been up to. which has been shit all. No job no school, few interesting feats and gossip. i am house bound ii am pathetic and lazy. i stay up all nite searching for the answers and […]
I have a full ******** tank, and a bag, and some duct tape. I am so tired. The meds, the alcohol, and the therapy….no help. I’m 38 and my mother died 3 days ago 13 years ago. I have a 4 1/2 year old son, who I’ll miss the most, but in the end, I’m only going to screw up his life too. I’ve never been able to keep a job for more than 2-3 years. You know, everyone is human and everyone should have compassion for others. I am different, I get that. But, I am intelligent, have a lot to offer, and no […]
I have lost the will to live it takes alot to make me smile and hardly anything to upset me. I have no energy anymore have lost intrest in my favirote things. I first started starveing myself around age 16 because i always felt fat, ugly and stupid comared to everyone eles. Ill go a couple days without eating then give in and consume a sick amount of food only to feel horrible afterwards. Food is an enemy i regret every meal i eat.
Self hatred has caused me to cut myself which turned into an everyday vice. Iv developed a blood lust waiting and […]
well it hasn’t been a whole day on a new dose and i have been naughty already. one is not supposed to drink alcohol while taking a certain anti-depressant that starts with a c. we went out to eat and i had a couple of drinks. interesting that my heart started hurting. like it was being squeezed or something. that was after2 drinks. guess i probably should not find out what a bender feels like. of course i was also indulging in other things as well. expecting me to embrace total sobriety is a waste of time. it is not likely to happen anytime soon. […]
How worthless someone can you make you feel. How you confess your undying love for them and they take advantage of that. How can someone do that? Someone you thought could never ever ever hurt you. Truth is, life is full of ups and downs, with dissapointments, the only thing that matters is how exactly you take that infromation and apply it to your everyday life.
I have been with my boyfriend for a year now (someone who I should not be with due to a bad influence: Weed, drugs, alcohol), recently he had gotten into an accident (DWI)Â I told him I loved him as soon […]
yeah so shit i remember last yr shit ive been a member of this site for a year now. damn yeah so lets start there then..ive grown up so much and at the same time hit rock bottom.
last yr i was being bullied for being fat at the same time i was starving myself and working myself to the max to get thin. i did it. then one bite of food became an addiction over this past yr now i have start over with that.
last yr i was scared to leave the house. now this yr i leave and i tell haters to […]
Oh well, life has been… well, life has been life lately. I am posting here because I feel the need to after some crazy weeks. Still trouble with education and law, basically everyone is endlessly procrastinating. I couldn’t care less. I have been taking insane amounts of benzos for a few days until I ran out. Life is quite a lot more bearable when you are unconscious, surprisingly. Alcohol helps too, the combination is good too. Until you run out and you have to withdraw. I had been taking the benzos on prescription as a sleep aid on-and-off for a few years, so withdrawing from […]