I have been in a rocky, controlling relationship with a man I have been head over heels in love with for about a year now. He was never very nice, always controlling, very jealous, and extremely verbally abusive… A tall, sexy, tattooed from head to toe punk rocker, I fell in love immediately. we both have had hard lives, and he was from New York in Oregon (where I’m from) because he knocked a girl up in New York who was from Oregon, and he moved to Oregon to be the father. They didn’t work out. Anyway, we started a relationship, had a lot of […]
At times i look in the mirror and see beauty but alot of times i see alot of ugly. I honestly have no idea how I am, who I am or what I’m doing. It’s difficult to have your whole family think you’re an attention seeker because you cut yourself and because you’re depressed and were suicidal. It hurts so much to let people you care about so much down. I hate myself more then anything ever. It’s so hard. When I say it’s so hard I hate myself more for being so weak and pathetic. I’m 16. I have grown up bullied, hit and at one point I was sexually assaulted which I very rarely talk about. I have a boyfriend now, his […]
ive been through alot since childhood, ive seen my mom being hit and bleed, ive gone to school scared of coming back home and not finding her alive because dad killed her, ive seen my baby sister die infront of my eyes and i dont remember telling her i loved her, i remember the days dad dint come home cuz he was SOME WHERE ELSE , i remember when he went to sleep like he dint give a shit while my mom had a miscarriage, i remember every word he said to her that made her cry ….i remember dad repenting after my baby sister died […]
Im not someone seeking attention, ide just like to know if anyone feels the way i do. i hate being alone, anyways i go to school like most teenegers im 14 and i have quite a few friends and am pretty easy to get along with. My closest 5 friends are pretty 2 faced, i get picked on alot and get yelled at for doing the stupidest things. i get blamed for everything and i never stand up formyself because im scared of judgement. Most of my so called friends turn there back on me or call me stupid names then expect me to apopgize […]
I went crazy yesterday.
 Mom brought home the one who irrates me so. We had an agreement that I would get advanced warning we she was bringing him home. Yesterday she had left a message on my phone. I had be working in the barn and hadn’t had my phone with me. There’s a longer story but I ended getting upset and lost my ability to talk and think straight. I tried to contain myself/felt an explosion inside. Ended up mucking up two of my belongings(silently with no audience-it was the best I could do).
Today, he’s back again. Today there was not even a call before. […]
My friend kinda had privilege from the beginning, which made her a little selfish in the way she handled things. Well, our relationship started coming apart when her mom saw how affectionate I was with her. (And not kissing or anything, but I was kinda needy when it came to affection back in 9th grade.) I would hug her alot, well my friend wasn’t this huggy with anybody (not even to her mom as far as I could tell.)
My friend had also, been friends with another girl in the past, who was really affectionate (like call her on the phone everynite obsessively affectionate.) My friend’s […]
Ok this is weird, i ended up here after doing some searching on the net and was just drawn here. I’m old so maybe im out of place here, heart is bad and having more problems, health has really gone down hill alot this year. I have kids that are adults out doing there own thing, they could care less about anything except themselves. I’m just tired, tired of being tired, i want to just take a handful of sleeping pills and jump on the bike and go for a ride and go out of this life doing what i love the most, taking the […]
Last night i cried myself to sleep.I’ve been hurt so much.Being in middle school has not been the funnest of times because “my friends” bullied me so bad to the point i wanted to kill myself.I still remember that day and how i ran to a ditch and sat hoping somebody would kill me.But when that failed i did a pill overdose. That did nothing too. I prayed and prayed and prayed and asked god why he was doing this to me?! no reply. That same day i walked to my mom’s job as i do everyday.I walked onto her school campus,knowing in my heart […]
Starting off im a male, 21 years old, names not important. Basically my story is my life isnt as bad as others im sure of that but yet I feel this tremendous pain inside me. Im currently in college to become an architect best in my class and have already had job offers. All this but I come from a not so nice family wanted to get away from them ive had problems with this in the past I’ve been to therapy for this whole wanting to commit suicide since I was young about 13. Its a little funny cause my parents used to […]
This is first time I have ever posted on web about suicide, this is actually pretty cool. I will not go into all my problems, just to the point where as so many other times in my life, I question why am I living? I have lost really great jobs, decent marraige, etc. and now I feel alone. I also like many others here have seen countless therapists, doctors, been diagnosed with two different things by several doctors, bottom line – I am miserable, I hate where my life is, unfortunately I do not have the balls to commit suicide. I prayed even today several […]
I have survived abuse, car accidents, living in gang riddin, drug-dealing neighborhood as a child, being married to a cop and having him take my kids and do weird/mind fuck type things to get back at me for leaving him, jail, drug addiction, homelesness, being outcasted from any blood family I new of (I didn’t grow up knowing family really). IDK I’ve been through a hell of alot and all I hear from people that I am strong and what am I gonna do with my life. “I have soo much potential” I’m told.
I’m sick of being here. I am sick of the […]
to die. So I’m pretty sure I’m done I am very serious but can’t become 100% certain. I can’t function around people, I have been deeply depressed for around 7 years, My motivation in life is to hurt those who hurt me nothing more and nothing less. I have no real goals or dreams in life, I have been on alot of medication, tried everything, have no reason to live and am almost sure I am incapable of love or happiness or even being content. I don’t want to live in any society and I wont do anything I don’t want to. I don’t want […]
Generally I’m more of an observer and a listener than the person who actually speaks. I never blog, and NEVER talk to anyone about how unhappy I really am. But I need a listener for a change – an unbiased, unjudgemental listener. My life has been a traumatic mess, and has created in me an emotional, unstable, and lost little girl. At the same time, I am a very logical and sensible person, and I realize that dwelling on things (especially things from the past) is unhealthy, and probably a part of the reason I’m so miserable. These 2 people argue in my brain – […]
Why must there be so many people here? Feel like everyone is watching me closely. I’m on trial everyday it seems, I have had alot of repressed memories revived,… everyday since its happened i can do nothing but think about it. My girlfrind, and mother of my child, cant even look at me anymore because she can tell i am just paranoid all of the time. She isnt very opened minded but i still love her. I love my daughter, but im afraid im going to grow to be an old paranoid recluse, which i basically am now. My judgement is so clouded suicide has to be […]
I had an appointment to see my  psychiatrist and my mum was with me, im 15 and my psychiatrist asked my mum about our family history and after some stuff they talked, i don’t know i wasn’t concerntrating but i heard my name and i started to listen, im sitting beside my mum. and my mum said when i was 5 years old i caused her so much stress she took me to a bridge and she was going to throw me off the bridge and kill me because i cause her alot of stress and she couldn’t handle me…. but my dad saw what was […]
After doing a lot of research trying to help myself, i came to the conclusion that maybe i just need to start talking to anyone. I came across this website and thought an unbiased opinion might help. I’m going to try to summarize everything that’s been weighing heavily on me so please bare with me because i could use a strangers ears to listen. I have never wanted to be an unhappy person, even writing this right now feels somewhat like a cop out to me because im unable to handle it all on my own. The very beginning of my life started out in […]
I still have feelings of getting revenge on those people who hurted me. Because of them i’m stuck in homeschool, away from society. Is there anyway to stop the feeling of revenge? In all honesty, I had to watch porn and masturbate alot to feel better…please help.
today marks the day i hope to change alot of things… my bad habits for starters.
im going to stop drinking vodka so much, and only smoke socially
fix my lack of skill in the saving money department…
hopefully end my current relationship history… find somthing good.
i dont know why. random day , random year, but i feel like its time for a fresh start.
i genuinly hope this happens..
My name is rebecca taylor i am 16 and a sophmore in high school. I have put up with alot of things that most people dont know about me. so where should i begin? well i shall start where my whole life started falling apart. I was four years old at the time i was first raped! i remember this event to well i was asleep when a frind of the family came in my room and started touching me when i tried to scream he punched me in the head and knocked me unconcious. he continued to rape me untill i was seven. at […]