More and more I think that “If I die young” has a lot of truth behind it.
Why doesn’t anyone listen when we’re still here to voice our opinions? Because it’s “all in your head”, “you just need to cheer up” and “focus on the happy things in life” OH why didn’t I think of that -_-. On the other hand, if I were to go back to those same people with a physical disgnosis like cancer or even a broken bone…. I’d get a lot more sympathy and a lot more support. How is this alright? The millions of people with mental illness have […]
Tag:
Antidepressants
i got a girlfriend! woohooo. asked her out on tuesday. she said yes. so now me and her are together.. but shes pretty busy so we dont get to hang out much.
i told one of my friend about how i have a girlfriend and hes like “what? but you’re not a lesbian.” and that just pissed me off. yah im not a lesbian. im pansexual.
i burnt my finger last night.. got bored so i was melting plastic with my lighter and it dripped onto my finger, i hope it doesnt get infected..
got a new look, more punk now and i LOVE it. tho i do […]
Let’s see. 4 years. 4 years ago was the first time I took a blade to my own wrist. And now here I am, barely a teenager and I want to die for the millionth time. Whenever something bad happens I automatically think; “let’s save that for later, you can rid the tainted blood with one trip to your special drawer”. But sometimes, sometimes it isn’t enough. Sometimes I just have a thousand thoughts running through my head, all of the bad things that have happened and keep happening. Hey, your antidepressants make you cold all the fucking time. Your dad is never here and […]
it’s time to be with my daugther, dying is the best way out. what do you think?
written by amelia follicauo
So today i went to the doctor, he put me on antidepressants but i think he was very dumb. as i live alone ATM and i miss her so so much, i think I’m going to take all of them and mix it with alcohol. Emma will be so alone and scared o i have to go help her and look after her. it hasn’t been long since she committed suicide but this life is too hard and she deserves to have her mum with her. my kids have gone to live with their dad and they don’t want to stay with me so i […]
I was a sad little girl. Â 35 years later, I’m a sad little girl who’s been on just about every medication possible. Â They all stop working after a few years.
I’ve never really had a relationship. Â I’m not sure what’s so unappealing. Â Maybe my sadness is more obvious than I think. Â Men don’t even pay attention to me. Â They never have. Â Having cute bubbly friends doesn’t help. Â My mother has nagged me about my weight since high school when I started gaining weight from the antidepressants.
I have a job and an education. Â I live in a rented 2 bedroom house that is much too big […]
my mom and her boyfriend are arguing on the phone with each other in the other room. my mom is screaming and crying i am stuck in my room blocking it out like i always do… i had the worst day at school today there are rumors about me and my ex boyfriend is being a pain… i am trying too move on but it is a little hard when you see him every were at school and today he asks you if you and him can talk but you can’t because you are busy dealing with your Borderline Personality Disorder mom all the time…. […]
what happens when your family is not there for you that the betray you… after my dad died and my brother moved out of the house i was left all alone with my mom and her Borderline Personality Disorder things changed big time we started fighting a lot more and things were not getting better I started cutting myself for a cry of help when the school therapist found out i stopped and they got CPS in to the picture a year later now that they are gone we have been seeing a family therapist once a week and i would show my arms so […]
Over a year a go, I went to a doctor just to talk to someone. I was just having one of those of days, that was all. I was never depressed. Anyway, she gave me these tablets that were citalopram without explaining what they were, how long I should take them for or when it would be reviewed. She didn’t even explain why she thought I should be on them in the first place. All she said was if it was me, i would take them. I had been taking these tablets from October 2010-November 2011 without knowing what they were. This was a trainee […]
Ive decided to go get a rope tomorrow from the hardware shop instead of going to see my doctor. Everyday im getting worse, ive been on various types of antidepressants and they have all made me even more anxious and fucked up like i was on a pill or something. Im done trying to get better, I dont give a fuck about what happens to me anymore. Ive got a bunch of pills i plan on dropping with some alcohole before i jump.
My options are as follows :
ramming my car into a tree at high speed
taking all of these pills […]
Okay guys update on how I am today I suppose:
Well last night my mother called 911 on me, she said I needed help and I was too fucked up for her to be taking care of. The ambulance and paramedics arrived at my house and I was taken against my will to the hospital. I am hooked up to this life support machine, I was told that if my mother hadn’t called I would be as good as dead.. They have put me back on my antidepressants and I’m under constant surveillance if its not family its “friends” or doctors.
Yeah well I feel […]
I’ve been taking antidepressants for years and they work for a while but then the black moods always come back. I switched my meds again but I just don’t feel right. I wish I had the money to see a psychotherapist on a weekly basis but I don’t. I just really need some one to talk to. If I thought that shooting heroin into my veins would help me I would try it. I feel so desperate and alone. I love my daughter so much and I know that if I killed myself it would really mess up […]
So another day has come and past, another pointless, meaningless empty feeling remains and all that is left is the cold embrace of an empty bed.
5 Suicide attempts, 2 last minute resuscitations in hospital, endless weeks in a psychiatric unit and each and every time come out feeling the same way and return to the same emptiness and nothingness that is my life. Medications make me feel numb, neither happy nor sad, just more of that feeling of nothingness, again. It is so ironic that ALL antidepressants just make you docile, slow, bored and unable to feel anything of meaning. I have decided that with […]
Well, my “manic”(happy) mood was short lived, now i am anxious. I need someone to give me tips on,For lack of a better word, how to not give a ****I just have to emphasize how serious I am. I just can’t convince myself to realize that I am overreacting and I am irrational.
{let me quickly summarize this for those who don’t want to read all my complaints:Â I want to be able maybe speak my mind, and not feel embarressed about it, tell me how to not care so much}
I AM JUST SO PARANOID>
No matter how hard I try I get paranoid and think that […]
I once had a great life and now I feel like I’m living another persons life. I am lost and so want to regain some of the life I once had. I had a good high paying job, great children, fantastic family. Not a lot to complain about. Then I had a problem with my back and then multiple surgeries, 9 to be exact. Then a brutal assault after a back surgery. After the assault the merry go round of depression started and has been a spiral down turn ever since. Most days start with not wanting to be here, then all the […]
Go away. I do not want you around. Let me alone. Stop asking what is wrong.
You cannot fix it. Nobody can fix it. No I do not want to see it a different way because it will still exist.
I do not want to deal with it at all. I never asked for it. I never wanted it.
All your suggestions have been tried. And I refuse to settle. Refuse to accept and deal with that which is not wanted.
No more risks. No more grasping at straws. No more extending a hand only to get it burned or bitten.
No more believing the lies. No more giving in […]
To begin, I am fairly misanthropic and disenfranchised due to humanity’s impact on nature and the wildlife that inhabit (or did inhabit in many cases) this once beautiful planet, Â how society is in general, whether it be the intolerance and hate that monotheistic religions have spread for generations (as well as how religious teachings dominate our political and legal systems despite all of the blatant problems that arise from it), the general lack of concern for our irreversible impacts, our horrible justice systems, our spiraling out of control dependency on technology, etc, etc…. but I also share the German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer’s views on misanthropy […]
I wish i had the courage to die, i wish i werent such a wimp and would just do the deed. I honestly can’t find a reason to live anymore. Any help i get is just a waste, any ‘hope’ story is just depressing. Everything is depressing. I just can’t take it. I can’t be honest with my therapist because she has proven how fast she’ll go and tell my dad. My dad is getting tired of taking me to therapy, i can tell he wants it to end but he doesnt get how bady i still need to go. my friends dont know the […]
I’ve been depressed and suicidal recently with no one to talk of my issues with. I recently decided to talk to the school counselor about my problems. At first, everything was great, but then from the depression test results she decided that she needs to talk to my parents about my depression (the talk is tomorrow night shit shit shit shit fuck fuck fuck fuck) as well as getting me to see my pediatrician about things I can do (antidepressants stuff).
I’m really starting to regret talking to my counselor and wish there was some other way of doing this without making things more complicated than […]
My parents denie to take me to a doctor. They think I’m just in a ‘phase’. That there is nothing wrong with me. I’m just being rude and moody. They can’t see beyond that. Why?
Because think of it. What will the neighbors think!? *le gasp*
What will the neighbors say if their daughter takes antidepressants?
How will mother and fathers friend say?
It not right. She’ll get over it, just ignore it.
Yes just ignore it, and while you worry about what the neighbor thinks, I’ll be in my room doing my new hobby. Cutting. But don’t worry mommy I’ll hide them. We wouldn’t […]
I’ve written about this before but I feel the need to write about it again. When I’m depressed I’m happy.
Let me explain…
Today for the first time in awhile I wasn’t depressed at all. I haven’t been on any antidepressants for two days and all of a sudden I can breathe. I’m tempted to start taking them again so I get worse. When I’m depressed people worry about me. It’s the only time I know they actually care about and love me. They take care of me so I don’t have to. I guess too that I’m so familiar with sadness, hopelessness, helplessness, hatefulness, shame, guilt […]