Okay. So I just read about that thing called Smooth Passages on some YA novel and was wondering if it does really exist. Not that I’m looking for a way to die or anything. The thing is, I don’t want to want to die. I don’t have depression or at least I don’t think so. But I do have severe social anxiety, and I think it’s close, if only a bit. I just don’t like being scared of the world, I don’t like having no one to talk to when everything just hurts, I don’t want to be afraid that people are going to judge […]
Fucking up again. Fucking up again. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
So, I have self confidence and self esteem issues and I’ve recently been looking for a job. This would be my first professionally employed thing and I can’t seem to gain the confidence to apply anywhere. I’ve managed to ask for applications and fill them out decently with only a few mild anxiety attacks but can never turn them in. A lot of this is centered around a fear of rejection mostly, but I also have problems talking positively about myself or “selling myself” like I would have to in an interview or on applications. I either fill things out as honestly as I feel […]
I apologize for the long post. My story is summarized in the beginning and end of this post. This post turned out to be long because I felt that it was necessary to explain some aspects of my situation.
I’ve always loved life and feared death, so committing suicide was absolutely unthinkable for me. That changed in early July 2015 – when I finally considered suicide as an option for avoiding homelessness or jail in the future. Originally, any suicide that I might commit would take place after my parents’ deaths – and when I had no income and faced homelessness, which I estimated to be 10-15 […]
Hi guys, I am new to this site, came across it while looking for an outlet for my negative thoughts. I struggle to talk to people about how I feel, and I am finding it increasingly difficult to live with the loneliness of not being able to express myself. My friends are kind. I don’t have many, but the ones I do have I appreciate and are there for me often, but more in terms of meeting up and having fun, rather than being able to specifically talk to them. That’s why I am here.
For many years, I have felt insecure. I was severely bullied […]
I see my therapist on Friday, and I haven’t done anything I was supposed to do over the last few weeks before our appointment. It was all anxiety-related stuff, and I haven’t even given it a second thought. I’ve been too preoccupied with the building anxiety over the voices and Bree instead.
I think it’s safe to say the weird mood I’ve been in for over a month has completely and utterly dropped. I can’t even remember what it was, but something made me snap the other day and I’ve felt awful since. Or maybe I’ve just slipped into the depression-side of this hyperactive episode – […]
You’re most likely wondering why I so boldly asked for you to read this post. Well, I did so because I have something to say that I believe will benefit you, no matter if this site applies to you or not.
I’ve had an unbelievable amount of personal experiences in my life that in reality could have shattered me from the start but instead, here I am writing this […]
Hello. Lately I’ve been feeling low, but usually I’m worried about something. I have anxiety about a lot of things. What people think about me, my loneliness, my future, and of course the suicidal thoughts. I said in an earlier post that my grades were slipping, but usually I’m an A student. It hasn’t gotten that bad, but it isn’t getting any better. Pretty soon I’m going to have to send college apps and I don’t know how to explain that my depression, which no one knows about, has been ruining my chances into getting into my preferred college. Usually I have tiny panic attacks […]
I’ve suffer from anxiety and depression for months after my relative just keep telling me “not to worry and let karma do the rest” about my neighbour from hell next door. Things didn’t get better but escalate for the worst. He never listened to me to be about being careful about those people trying to harm us/seek revenge and it is always better to stay safe than to be sorry. I tried very hard to stay positive and always strive to protect my home from these sort of jerks that try to provoke us with their words, kids playing on our driveway, and petty revenge […]
I continuously wonder what I did wrong to deserve all of this pain. I’m so sorry for whatever it is, I pray to god (not literally, I’m not religious) that one day I’ll have been through all of the pain I can and will finally be happy, something I’ve never gotten, if this emotional, mental and somewhat physical suffering doesn’t kill me first.
I was trying to compose something nice in my head to post, but I just need to vent without trying to be all verbose and purple prose-y. I’m sorry guys (though I’m sure no one minds not reading my bullshit).
I am in so much pain. My stomach really hurts. It was really mild until about 20 minutes ago, when I started to think about trying to sleep. I didn’t eat anything super bad today, and the last thing I ate were woven wheat backed crackers, in an effort to calm my stomach, because drinking something milky or eating plain salty crackers usually helps.
I am running out […]
Im a new member and I discovered this website a few days back and I was reading through some posts and I was able to relate.
and yes I’m a cutter. the first time I did that was when I was 15 and now I’m 18
I’ve stopped cutting after a year and recently got back into it really badly. I know its not a good thing and I’m aware of it but it’s frustrating when you have no one to actually support you and know how you feel ( I don’t trust school counselors) no one in the family knows I’ve started again (this time I […]
Am I good enough to be an artist?
Am I good enough to be an author?
Am I good enough to be a psychiatrist?
Am I good enough to be alive?
Things I think of even before doing anything. And it sucks so bad.
You think it’s easy?
I would love to see you put yourself in my shoes, to feel my pain, my insecurities…my loneliness
You can’t say ” get over it..its easy” or ” you’re overreacting “
Please..having depression or any mental illness isn’t easy or fun…If I could get over it i would!
You think it’s easy not being able to speak for myself without panicking? or being happy then suddenly feel down?..or so down you consider taking your own life?…
you think it’s so easy? Be me for one day..just one and see if you don’t change the […]
I’m trying to keep it together here… I feel like life is just bearing down as hard as it can right now without outright killing me in some torturous way. Yesterday I found out that my sister, my best and… pretty much only real friend in life has a cyst near her brain that’s pressing against it and causing bleeding. She went to Seattle by EM Transport last night and I talked to her for a while on Facebook but… I just wish I could be there with her.
Not a day earlier I talked with… the best guy I know. A guy I’ve had a […]
I have Social Phobia ( aka social anxiety), I always been the shyiest guy in school, college,diferent jobs. Missed classes in college cause of it, quit jobs cause of conflit due to bad comunication with others. Been to many job interviews and failed because of being so nervous, that since 2010 I tought I have to quit life, didn’t know when or how, but had to.
So I just tried to meet new places and walk a lot, while also searching for ways of dying. All of them seem painful so I ended up thinking maybe I could just buy some syringes with a large width […]
Ive been struggling, struggling so much. Having no one to turn to is becoming a routine. Im almost accustomed to it really. I don’t even expect people to text/call me anymore. I don’t expect anything from anyone, and i never will honestly. Once you make a few mistakes, you’re labeled at “attention seeking”, crazy, bipolar, depressed. Ive only been home for a few months now, I was locked up for eight months, going through hell and then some. I guess you can say things fell apart completely after my sister committed suicide almost five years ago. I guess the problem was I was so young, […]
And my thoughts spiral, how funny it is that the empath is the one that needs help themselves.
It’s been a while since she died. She was my world and I was hers. The main thing I remember was the sunshine always shone from and through her, she was always the nicest and most giving, generous person.
Should I have wondered why?
Apparently she was planning her death since before she met me. I never saw any of it, all I saw was her mask and it never slipped. I think I gave her hope, until one night, after her parents had physically abused her.
I received a phone […]
I don’t know why I’m like this or how I’m supposed to make sense of it. I’ve (guiltily) had sadistic fantasies since I was a child. My best dreams are the ones where I’m being chased or tortured or killed. When I’m out in public I’m often either anxious and self-conscious or casually nursing violent thoughts towards others. I was on a plane last night wishing that it would crash and kill everyone on board.
But I’m not going to hurt anyone, not unless they consent to it. So there’s nothing wrong with being like this, right? Is it okay if I quietly enjoy my sadomasochistic tendencies to […]
I remember feeling from a very early age like I didn’t belong anywhere. I always felt like the black sheep in my family and I was always pretty shy so making friends wasn’t really a strong suit.
I started getting depressed when I was about 12 years old. I had a teacher who I usually went to when I was having a bad day because I knew no one else would listen. I was having trouble fitting in when I was in middle school. I tried to fit in with all different groups of people but I never really clicked anywhere. In […]