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I want it all to go away

by Jess 12/15/2012

written by Jess

Sometimes I wish I’d just die already. I wish that I’d drowned when I was 2, or hit my head on the concrete as an infant like I almost did, but the universe is dead set on watching me suffer. I’ve tried so many different things to try and make it all go away, I tried cutting, it didn’t help, I tried popping tylenol whenever I felt down,Â and it helped for a while, but it doesn’t anymore. I’ve tried just crying for a long time, it made me feel worse.

I’m only 13, and life has already ended for me. My past is full of the […]

12/15/2012 7 comments

The test run.

by sansesperer 8/15/2012

written by sansesperer

Note: I am home now, I wrote the following earlier this evening.

—

I am glad I did this test run. I encountered a few issues. Technology related issues. I had hoped to make this post on site, but I think I have broken my phone. It won’t tether to my laptop. :\ I will have to get that fixed. Then, there’s the little issue of very sketchy mobile coverage. I am basically in a hole in the ground.

I am writing this on site and saving it to upload when I get home. I am listening to my final mix tape. The first track, “The Other […]

8/15/2012 12 comments

You are not alone.

by NeverGiveUp4 12/27/2010

written by NeverGiveUp4

Im a 13 year girl. I live in Puerto Rico. I go to school. My Family: Mom, Dad, Brother(older)and my grandparents(divorced)ect… My Mission is helping other that have been through the same pain, anger, hatred, and sadness which that cause Depression or Suicide Attempts. The most important thing is to reach them out and say ”Never Give Up” because you are not alone, If you need someone to talk to, to hear you, I’ll be here. Remember ”Never Give Up”

12/27/2010 5 comments

Feeling

by Kieylee102 7/28/2010

written by Kieylee102

I haven’t written here in a long time but I think I might need help. When I started to write I either wanted to feel something or wanted to stop feeling all together. But this time I don’t know whether if I want to feel something or nothing at all. On one hand I want to go back to cutting to see what’s real but on the other hand I’m so terrified that I keep having a nightmare that I end up almost die. So I don’t know how to feel. As well I have no one here to talk to or even understand why […]

7/28/2010 3 comments

Does pain ever go away!?

by joey 12/26/2009

written by joey

I am A 16 year’s old boy I have been suicidal for almost 2 years now. I am taking depression pills but that isn’t really doing anything to help me. I became depressed because my best friend was killed 2 days after Christmas by a drunk driver who had several DUI. After his death everyday after school I just came straight home came in my room and thought about way I could commit suicide. I didn’t want to stab nor cut myself because of the pain I just wish i had A gun so it could be fast and painless.Â I’m one of those kid’s who […]

12/26/2009 2 comments

First post being my last post.. Just kidding, hope some still have a sense of humor.

by holy grail 10/12/2009

written by holy grail

I’ve never sought help like this, nor looked for it.Â I’m bored and finished watching a movie(The Wackness).Â If you have seen this movie, i can relate to that kid and his heartbreak.Â I’ve only suffered one heartbreak, and it has nothing to do with where I am at(level of depression).Â That being said, I’ve done far much more damage to others.Â Not saying I’m a whore of sorts, just having issues with this backlash of reality.

OK, lets shorten this up so I have a chance to capture someone who can relate or pretend to relate.Â I was the happiest fat man in the world.Â […]

10/12/2009 2 comments

killing myself

by dreamer 9/2/2009

written by dreamer

i have had three attempts.

!. od on vicodin, got sick, pain for over a week following, think i did permanent liver damage

2. od on ativan/ambien, friend called 911, transport to hospital, don’t remember much, forced to drink charcoal, hospitalized in mental ward

3. strangulation, friend found me, cut tube off my neck, damaged throat & had difficulty swallowing

if i try again i am going to drink a lot of alcohol, take a bottle of of ativan & hang myself from a bridge near my house. i have the rope and i have been practicing tying noose knots. i’m pretty good at it now.

9/2/2009 18 comments

It’s about time

by nofeelings 8/31/2009

written by nofeelings

I’ve been trying hard to find a good reason that I should live.Â But, sadly, I couldn’t find one.Â I don’t wanna make things too complicated, after all, life is smiple.Â But, what’s a point if IÂ am not happy?Â Â I’ve been suffering from depression for more than 8 years.Â Nothing can cure me.Â I can cry several times a day, 7 days a week.Â My crying makes me so tired, but I just can’t help it.Â I’ve got no family, no friends,Â I tried to force myself to talk to others, but I hate it,Â I’m not confortable with it.Â I don’t wanna talk to anyone, and […]

8/31/2009 3 comments

I don’t know anything

by confused 8/1/2009

written by confused

Iâ€™m so tired and so confused. Everyday, I find myself worrying and trying to keep up with my smiles. Itâ€™s been difficult and tiring that I donâ€™t know what to do anymore. During the day, with my family and with my friends, Iâ€™d be happy and always smiling. I would just laugh with everyone and generally feel so happy. I profess love to this guy everyday. I laugh with my friends at every joke. I play with my dog and have fun.

But when Iâ€™m all alone, Iâ€™ve always find it hard to stop myself from crying. I donâ€™t know nor understand why I feel so […]

8/1/2009 5 comments

How It All Began

by CJ 7/29/2009

written by CJ

My thoughts of suicide started when I was 13 years old.

Â I made a friend through a connection with another friend, and she was awesome (at first). I found out a month into our friendship that she did drugs. I encouraged her to stop, but since she was 5 years older than me she was too self- absorbed to listen. So, one night she slept over my house, and curiosity got the best of me, and I tried the drugs. It was… wonderful, to say the least. So more ‘sleepovers’ were planned afterwards. If I can recall correctly, it was about the third time she slept […]

7/29/2009 4 comments

help the hopeless…

by lillyla 7/27/2009

written by lillyla

I don’t know where to start. All i know is at 29 i should be further in my life than this. I’ve had SEVERE anxiety issues since i was in elementary school. I had to quit school and get my GED because of it. I went to cosmetology school and didn’t take my test because i was too nervous and was scared i was going to make an a** out of myself. Anyway, my dad who has cancer pays my rent. They denied me for food stamps so i have no food and no way to pay my bills. I’ve tried to work but because […]

7/27/2009 3 comments

i have to do it

by CJ 7/27/2009

written by CJ

I’m so very sorry. I’ve made a permanent decision that in 2 months, I will definitely kill myself.

Please, don’t try to change my mind. I’ve made it up, and you all shouldn’t waste your energy on filth like me.

I’ve been living in a fantasy world for years now, and the wall separating my fantasy world from the reality I’ve never wanted to face has finally come down. I’ve truly seen how horrible of a human being I am now, and it has become intolerable.

I don’t blame the world, or even my surroundings. I blame me for being a selfish, stupid and ungrateful person.

Though this may […]

7/27/2009 9 comments

I did this to myself, and my family.

by Coyote 7/17/2009

written by Coyote

This will probably be somewhat incoherent.Â I apologize in advance for that.

I am 25 years old, and just graduated from a university with a degree in music.Â I took out nearly $60,000 in private student loans to get the degree, to say nothing of the federal loans.

My job prospects now are no better than they were when I was in high school, and are in fact worse, thanks to the economy and my foolish, self-indulgent decision to get a music degree.Â The worst part is that my family cosigned on the private loans, and they’re going to destroy their credit along with mine.Â I could […]

7/17/2009 6 comments

by pammy 6/3/2009

written by pammy

I really have no excuse; I have a good job, one I worked hard to get, I have money in the bank and few debts. I am reasonably healthy, although a little overweight! I have two children, boys, one employed one in college. I even own my own home.

So let me tell you a tale of woe, and you can judge me for yourselves.

Fourteen years ago I lost my husband to a sudden, unexpected heart attack. My parents did not bother to offer support until made to by my siblings, who were great at that time.My boys were only six and two.

Then I found out […]

6/3/2009 3 comments

Maddening Shroud

by MisterRiddler 4/25/2009

written by MisterRiddler

It’s been 6 years of an undiagnosed, untreated progressive depression.

The Stages:
Stage one just started with deep thinking. What we all go through, what is life worth? who loves me? what would the world be like if i’m dead, etc.

Stage two became mind over matter. This is the point beyond sadness. Cutting never hurt, it was just a way to wake up into reality again, to start feeling again, even it was just sadness.

Stage three was my addiction. I became addicted to cutting as it would relieve me of the emptiness. Cutting eventually stopped working (it works like pain killers, my body developed a tolerance), […]

4/25/2009 3 comments

Slow death

by MaybeGodStillLikesMe 4/25/2009

written by MaybeGodStillLikesMe

Took about 20 iron pills around 11:00pm yesterday from all the crap my parents put me through. I thought I would die in my sleep.Â Until I found out today I will die a slow death when I woke up today and researched it . I’m transitioning from stage one to 2 soon. It would take me about 3 days to die give or take if I’m not in a coma. Well it could take a week that I could die from an overdose. I told my momÂ after I woke up.Â She made me puke up everything several times after drinking loads of water. Though that […]

4/25/2009 4 comments

Loss of my Mom.

by Demoniaque 3/30/2009

written by Demoniaque

Just this year on Jan 28 09 my mom passed away.

At first I couldnt beleive it. I was with her in the hospital and she was fine.

I go sit with my grandma and then next thing I hear is CODE BLUE!!

I didnt know what that meant but they sent the nurses to my mom room.

Minutes passed and the Dr came out saying ” Im sorry but her heart just gave out. ”

At that very moment my entire world collapsed!

A month pass after her death and I remembered something.

She would always give me a hug before I went to school.

I burst out in tears and reached […]

3/30/2009 1 comment