Commit to suicide and achieve it. I’ve made many failed attempts, either because they didn’t work or I stopped myself. What I can’t understand about myself is, for example, the idea of jumping from a sufficient height; why am I not putting my shoes on right now and make my way to that height. Why am I just thinking about it. Actions speak louder than words after all but I’m physically not doing it.. why.
Tag:
Attempts
Hi,
My name is Corey. Â I’m 29 years old and because I have no job and no money, the only choice I have right now is to live with my Grandma and Grandpa. Â I’m at a point in my life where I have no idea what to do anymore. Â I have no job (thus no money) and no prospect of a job. Â Nowadays when I actually have the motivation to go looking for work, I never get any callbacks due to having such a poor record with jobs (I tend to quit jobs frequently and have long gaps in my employment record). Â I’m constantly depressed and […]
A couple of years ago i was classed as clinically depressed, they thought i was schizophrenic and i have been trying to end my life for about two years now, all attempts have failed for one reason or another.
In the last 12 months i have had to deal with 3 close friends and a close familiar dying, with me not being allowed to attend 2 of the funerals. All of that is on top of me not having slept a full night in over a year as I’m plagued by nightmares every single night.
After the last one i vowed to try and get […]
Today my parents are away, so I think I can hang around here not being afraid they’d be peeking into my laptop. And I can ask this silly questing, how do I do it? How do I get diabetes?
And don’t ask what is up with me, ’cause nothing is up. I just still can’t figure out the trick. So many people get it just out of the blue, without ever trying to. I know it has a lot to do with heredity, but not always the case. If it doesn’t run in my family, so I can never get it? I don’t believe it. There […]
Ive been mixing alcohol with heroin and tying a bag around my head. at first my bag was too small so id fall asleep with it off. i got a bigger bag (30 gal) and managed to fall asleep with it on. I apparently took it off while unconscious. Idk if i should tie it tighter or abandon this method for something preferable. id jump but i live in a very flat city. maybe i should just do a ton of heroin. its pretty nice. hard for me to keep down a proper amount of alcohol tho so im quite discouraged
I’ve never felt right on this earth. I’ve been depressed and made small attempts (self harm?) since primary school. I had a loving (if alcoholic and over controlling) mother who took her own life by car exhaust when I was 12. My sleep pattern got fucked, school work started slipping and I started cutting. I got close to a full attempt and chickened out at the last minute when I was 14. My dad was just really angry and refused to let me seek help. I had a grief counsellor, but I’m not sure […]
I look in the mirror, I say, loser, freak, fa&&ot, piece of $h¿t.  I say, you SUCK!  YOU’RE NOTHING!
Every time. every…. time….
Sometimes I can say things that are nicer, kind of over top, or after. Â But I can’t not hear the hurtful words.
People said these things all through junior high and high school.  One was even a Policeman’s son.  Nobody did anything Not even when I was hospitalized twice for trying to kill myself. I’d just say I was fine, and nobody batted an eyelash to it.
It gets worse from there…. long story short, I’m in my thirties now, Â I still hear their words…but it’s […]
my depression started when i was nine i figured out what had happend to me i was sexually assulted by parents i was put in foster care adopted into a family that is the reason of my pain and cutting and suicidal thoughts and many attempts they hate me they hate the way i dress my music everything about me they basically call me an attention seeking whore and when i cut i feel nothing and death hasnt taken my soul yet simply because i do not have one worth taking i feel like im drowning but not dying this is slow and painful life […]
Hey everybody, I’ve been here off and on for a month or two. First off, I’ve met a lot of really good people on here. I think most of us SP users are really soft hearted and it’s easy to click with other people here. I don’t know why I’m writing this because I’ve made up my mind and I’m not looking for support or crying out for help. Hopefully someone out there that also feels like shit will read it and maybe get something out of it.
I’ve lost 3 people this year and my cat that I had for 7 years (I count that […]
I don’t want to be dead. I’m suicidal, and I recognise this fact. I think about killing myself the way other people think about what they’re going to have for breakfast. I don’t want to die, I just can’t face the fear and the despair that always return to my mind. It gets to the point where I can’t see any other alternative.
I’ve tried to kill myself a lot of times, 16 to be exact, and I’ve always failed. My last two attempts were definitely the most serious, and both almost ended my life. The first I ended up with multiple organ failure; the last I jumped […]
This past month has been so many things; horrendous, miserable, cloudy with a chance of shit, amazing and terrible at the same time.
I attempted to make amends with my mother…she at the first opportunity sent me home said goodbye and drove off.
I tried to help a child in need but was chased away by an overprotective foster parent.
I made an effort to fit in and went to a part, somebody slipped something into my non-alcoholic drink and I ended up vomiting all over the front lawn
I found a boy…A boy who seemed to like me for me scars and all. I remember the first night we shared together, he took me to a […]
I’ve been fitghing against suicide since I was 11 years old, 5 failed attempts with a difficult internal war against hurting my family in my mind. Each time, under the water or out in the freezing snowy fields, I eventually find myself in a state of bliss, which eventually goes off, the numbness and stangnacy that I see as my only possible future just dances its way back into my life and I start all over again.
And once again I’m here on this edge looking for a way to do this without harming those I love. It’s not a matter of weather or not […]
I don’t understand how I’m still alive. I honestly don’t. My last attempt wasn’t my first, it was my 16th, and I’m still not sure that it will be my last.
I would say I’m lost, but that would imply that I’m actually going somewhere; I’m not. I’m in this rut and I wish I knew how I got here, but I think it’s one of those things that creeps up on you.
So, seven weeks ago I jumped in front of a tube train. It wasn’t planned, I think I decided in about five minutes. I had previously thought about it, and I’ve been really close […]
My Name is Markus Jolley, also I go by MJ. I have tried at least 12 attempts of suicide, all failing, and now all I have is myself. I have no family, and I live in a group home for troubled or stranded youth. When I did have a family, I developed differently than any other kid my age. The Tests for mental instability or disorders started when I was 5. I went through medical tests over and over, until an MRI was ordered on my brain. It turned out that I had Frontal Lobe Gliosis which looks like this. http://www.ajnr.org/content/24/2/218/F3.large.jpg
This Problem explained my functioning […]
I used to have thoughts of hiding under a car tire, and waiting for a family member to back up. I just couldn’t go through with it. Through the past 11 years of my life I’ve been completely miserable. There has been a series of unfortunate events that lead me to where I am today: living in a shitty apartment alone, no friends, hardly talk to family, education going down the toilet, and terrible insomnia. I’ve been doing some research on suicide methods, and I want to go via ********. But, it seems like there are many failed attempts. Anyone have any advice?
Some Information
I’m a 16 year old guy.
My only friend is this girl in my 6th period class. We don’t really hang out, but we talk in school. So that’s a friend right? We talk at night over the phone about all sorts of stuff. Since I don’t even sleep at night I always have to hang up on her because she’s so stubborn and refuses to sleep until I do. But even though we talk about lots of deep, important stuff at night, we have never had to say anything like “Don’t tell anyone!” She just trusts me and I just trust her.
Sorry I should choose better words. […]
The SP House
Chapter 1: Paradise Lost
Looking out into the horizon, the sun slowly disappeared, it’s warm embrace being replaced by the cool, quiet moon. The sky, once blue and vast, changed to orange, red and purple and then to black, then allowing the stars to shine through. Looking down, she saw the foggy depths of the abyss, but the familiar sound of waves crashing could be heard. Down there, one could fall and die after splattering among jagged rocks, or even survive and end up in the water, just to wash up on shore and try to get back home tired and groggy. And disappointed…
Those […]
Like I said, I am not looking for anybody’s opinion on myself, or any of my decisions. Nobody hates me more than me, so it would be a ridiculous waste of time. I have completely lost the will to live. And I mean that in the most serious way possible. Not because something bad just happened in my life. I just flat out do not want to be alive anymore. I don’t see a real reason to be, either. I am the literal definition of “useless”. I am a complete waste of space. I am probably denying somebody who deserves life precious air, and food. […]
So sick and tired of life. It’s a miserable existence day after day, seven attempts this year and no avail, looking for number eight.
Lost my job, my baby, my marriage, my home….I’m an alcoholic, unemployed, lonely, just don’t want to go on any further.
Don’t want to live with my diagnosis either, I’ll never have a normal life, normal relationship, no nothing. I’ve lost my chance at love, there’s no chance for happiness, my life is an absolute joke.
I’ve got my plan in place and a time…don’t bother with the whole “life is precious” or “God wants you to live”, because if there really is […]
My telling you on the nightline service “I am not that strong of a person†translates to “I am going to kill myself, but I don’t want you to lock me up so I won’t say it out loud and commit myself.â€Â I don’t know how or when. As soon as possible. As soon as I can find the right way. Pills won’t do it…I’ve even heard cyanide won’t do it unless you are a chemist and know how to brew it just right. I envy that old couple that took their life together sipping cyanide from their teacups. Jumping in front of a train […]