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questions over questions

by Lacalamity 2/18/2016

written by Lacalamity

Hi guys, hope you good, got some favors to ask.

I want to see a therapist, but I don’t know what the deal is with me, this sadness I carry, always thinking about how the living dies and hurts others in horrible ways and I can’t just do anything, can just watch. The only thing I can do is to be there for the ones I love but even then, nothing is sure. I don’t even want to die that bad now, I feel like I have a job to finish here. It feels like that my sadness drives me on since no long, but what […]

2/18/2016 8 comments

a poem

by Alan Ominous 2/18/2016

written by Alan Ominous

(void)

Shaking violently;
Plunged into a dark,wet…abyss
Tiny bubbles escape me.
Each containing a dream,
An idea, a memory.
Futilely, I gasp;
Trying to breathe them back in.
Filling myself with vacuity.
The bubbles slowly dissipate.
I become what nothing is.

2/18/2016 20 comments

Nostalgia? Maybe?

by NicoleK 2/18/2016

written by NicoleK

Is it possible to have nostalgia for things you’ve never had or experienced? It’s like, maybe watching television and reading books isn’t such a great idea, because I see their lives, and I want them. Not all the drama, but the freedom, I guess. The friendships. The honesty. I wish I had those things growing up. And I look back on my life so far, and I feel like I’m missing my younger years. Then I remember what shit my younger years were, and I realize I’m missing what I missed. I’m missing the things that other people have. Maybe that’s more like envy, but […]

2/18/2016 3 comments

Double Edged Sword

by Alan Ominous 2/17/2016

written by Alan Ominous

This group seems to be having two distinctly different roles for me. First and foremost, I feel I’m gaining depth and understanding of my issues. Far better than any other form of help I’ve sought.

Countering that, I’m gaining insight into the reality of suicide. For the first time I can say I’m sure I’ll be successful next time. Sorry for the false alarm last night. Too confident too quickly.

The cats out of the bag. The handful of people around me are aware I’m considering. Though I’m not revealing a plan. I’m giving it time though so don’t fret.

The hardest part for me is letting go […]

2/17/2016 4 comments

Thoughts

by Drowning 2/17/2016

written by Drowning

what happens if you try meds therapy etc and that don’t work am I mean to sit back and watch life move on without me even no I’m alive I would rather not be around sitting in the shade do depressed people get better or isit for life cause this sucks just surviving each day with no goals I do dread waking up most day to do the same thing all over again the next day

2/17/2016 7 comments

A New Kind of Love

by rich51bruhh 2/17/2016

written by rich51bruhh

I have mentioned many times how I have been in love with this girl for so long. I also posted quite recently about how I have finally gotten over her and have felt like I can comfortably have relationships now that I am no longer in love with her. She messaged me a couple of days ago and damn, i’m back. How can I be so in love with a girl. She messages me and I light up right away and message her right back. I am evem expecting a letter in the mail from her. We’ve been exchanging letters since freshman year. […]

2/17/2016 7 comments

Hey folks, it’s everybody’s favorite depressed, semi suicidal dickhead

by thelost 2/17/2016

written by thelost

I’ve not been the greatest lately, and I haven’t paid nearly enough attention to all you wonderful people on this site. I don’t recognize half of your names, makes me feel old. Nonetheless, this site is for the suicidal, and I guess I can be counted among their number. I want to die, hell, not a day goes by that I don’t want to stick a gun in my mouth and paint the walls around me red. Thing is, I can’t do that. There are people out there that would die if I committed suicide, and I can’t let that happen. I don’t give a […]

2/17/2016 5 comments

sorry

by Alan Ominous 2/16/2016

written by Alan Ominous

Sorry everyone. Miles from home. Resources are scarce. My options limited. Chosen method effective but requires commitment and determination. Going to vibe to my favorite tunes. Trying to prepare. A few loose ends I wish I could tie but there’s no time.

Sorry I can’t finish Super Suicide Squad. Sorry.

There’s a lot I want to say to a specific few of you. I’m afraid I’ll back out tonight. So I’m not going to. Just know I think a few of you are just swell.

Sorry.

2/16/2016 46 comments

by Whateverbell 2/16/2016

written by Whateverbell

I think I plan to go by May. The month I’m supposed to graduate. See, I was to kill myself January 9th (my birthday) I had the right method to make sure I don’t actually wake back up, but I didn’t have the right place. And I couldn’t do it at home because I don’t want my mom seeing my lifeless body. But in May, I’ll have a place.
I was supposed to graduate college this year but I had to dropout due to academic probation. My grades dropped really bad, to the point where I just ended up failing all my classes. I don’t […]

2/16/2016 8 comments

F@c&

by Lost1111 2/16/2016

written by Lost1111

At this point I feel like I’m just seeing how many days I can survive until I finally decide to kill myself.

I’ve tried so many things over the years..meds, in-patient, therapy, groups, coping skills. I’m not better and now I’m still in horrible withdrawal from medications, too. I’m still in post-acute withdrawal after 9 months off all meds and I’m still a shitty person. I’m trying so hard to change, but you cannot take back the past. I hate myself and I hate life.

Why does somebody else (your parents) get to decide that you exist, but then it’s your responsibility to function and do well […]

2/16/2016 8 comments

Getting Worse

by JiminyCrispies 2/16/2016

written by JiminyCrispies

I’m scared. Everything is getting worse, and I don’t know what to do. I can’t think, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. Everything is getting too much.

I’m ill again. The Angels have said I’ve been poisoned with something which also works to lower my immune system as well. The Others are going to make me suffer for as long as they can.

Speaking of the Others, they’re everywhere. In every street, every shop. I haven’t gone out in days. I’m not safe anywhere. They watch me during the night. I close all the blinds, all the curtains. I lock every window and door. I suppose I […]

2/16/2016 7 comments

Third time’s a charm

by NiDDA 2/16/2016

written by NiDDA

This a postponed post to avoid my last post of shame.

If you are reading this there are 2 options:

1. I am dead.
2. I am hospitalized.

The first means that I had finally left the world, and succeeded in killing myself. How I did it? I can’t share even though I think it would help some of you. I know it is hard to understand what I mean by this kind of help, but sometimes there are situations when I think we can make an excuse and consider suicide as an only way out from our pain.

The second means that I was close and I will […]

2/16/2016 4 comments

Random Quotes

by twix this rainbow 2/16/2016

written by twix this rainbow

I use to do a fun random quote of the day for my friends in the morning…here are some of them. Thought you guys might some of them funny.

Well, aren’t we a fun filled lollipop tripled dipped in psycho?

Me Crazy? Don’t make me get down off my unicorn and slap you!

Hey, I’ll be back in 5 minutes, but if I am still not back just read this message again.

Starting tomorrow – whatever life throws at me, I am just going to duck so it hits someone else.

My friend thinks he is so smart, he said onions are the only foods that make you cry. So […]

2/16/2016 2 comments

Walk with me…

by twix this rainbow 2/15/2016

written by twix this rainbow

I am heading back to my room to get my mp3 player before hitting the beach. I want to walk it as I watch the moon rise to kiss the stars. Soon, I will be one of those amazing lights up there.

Walk with me? Leave your invisible footprints beside mine. I won’t tell. 🙂

Love to you all.

2/15/2016 14 comments

I’m not sure where I’m going but…

by viola 2/15/2016

written by viola

It’s finals week for us and I don’t know if I can take it any longer. My mom told me if I wanted to be a scientist, I’d have to move to another country because the government wouldn’t support my projects here and that someone might kill me, especially since I want to protect the environment here and people (like poachers, smugglers, and corporations) tend to try to kill those that do so. But the problem is, I want to work here and my parents think I should be either a doctor or go to another country. And my parents are sort of trying to […]

2/15/2016 3 comments

My very last morning….

by twix this rainbow 2/15/2016

written by twix this rainbow

Woke up as some of you know at the unholy hour of what was it….2:30ish am…..ordering coffee from room service. I sat out on my balcony and drank the whole pot they brought me before retiring back to bed where I slept and dreamed in circles. Same thing kept happening over and over and over….annoying.

*Yep, still wearing Danny boys sweatpants…I do love these things*

Got up a couple of hours ago, took a nice hot bath but not before ordering more coffee and a couple […]

2/15/2016 7 comments

I’m just a fuck up

by Drowning 2/15/2016

written by Drowning

I don’t understand why I always manage to mess things up i found someone who understands me loved me and was there for me but I sabatage the relationship that there is no coming back this time I can’t for give my self I would rather just disappear it’s almost been a year and time isn’t healing anything how can u let go of a person if u love them

2/15/2016 3 comments

The Process of Dying/Ramblings

by Mark_1981 2/15/2016

written by Mark_1981

I don’t know if it’s just me or not. I like the idea of eternal peace and tranquility, or death to simplify things. I think of dying everyday (literally) but the actual process of dying sickens me. To think of my bodily functions shutting down, my thoughts and consciencenous disappearing; the step back into the eternal calm of non-existance. To me the process of shutting down, as I said, sickens me but I also know that it is something that we all must experience eventually (which begs the question of why we are borne only to die but I digress).

I don’t think I’m alone on […]

2/15/2016 0 comment

It’s almost over. I hope.

by Cordless 2/14/2016

written by Cordless

2016 Valentine’s Day coping mechanism:
Had insomnia the night before…. stayed awake until 7:00 in the morning on the 14th. Slept for a little bit, then woke up with migraine. Took migraine prescription and went back to bed, slept until 6:00 in the afternoon at which time my back and bone pain woke me up.
Took pain meds, sat in bed. Ate a snack.
Turned on the laptop, checked e-mail (nothing from anyone), and surfed around for a moment before visiting SP.

2/14/2016 7 comments

Drowning

by Nobody12345 2/14/2016

written by Nobody12345

“I’m drowning
Suffocating
Being crushed
So deep
Alone………So empty
It’s dark
I’m scared
I’m sinking
Will I die if I touch the bottom?
I’m drowning
I fear
dying this way
but the surface is so far above
how much strength do i have left?
Can I reach it?
Is that heaven?
or is it just a breathe of fresh air
before my heart gives out
and i sink back
into the sea
save me
Is there anyone out there?
But who can hear the cries
of a man with no voice
for i am in the depths
and my voice lies far above
will someone […]

2/14/2016 2 comments

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