well a lively chat today. i was surprised that you had already read last nights post. and surprised that you would be offended by that surprise. seriously my cynicism has everything to do with my self loathing and not your personal or professional capabilities. my previous therapist never called me at the hut . and i know that i am just one of many that you see. i did notice by the way that you zinged me pretty good. yes i know that killing myself would leave a mess for others to clean up. both literally and figuratively. i also know that my family and […]
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Family And Friends
Hi, I dont know who to talk to or who to open up to because my pain is my pain. And no one can ease that pain. I sit here and I think that the people that said they love me or care for me but where are they now. It’s true, I’m going to be alone and no one to cry to or tell me we are going to get through this together. W hy have these men come into my life and took that one thing I CHERISHED. Therevare times whereby I just want to find that one blade that will end my […]
I have always been an upbeat person; the type who keeps a positive attitude towards living. Since I was ten years old I have had HIV. Even though I still try to stay positive about it, physically I am starting to feel very fatigued and tired this year. Some part of me really just wants to let the disease win and let nature take its course. I have been fighting this disease for almost twenty years, and am exhausted. Currently I am on a large scholarship for doctoral research in bioremediation and my life is full of promise. Unfortunately, I don’t feel I have the […]
i tryin kill myself bout month ago…they save me and i was at the psychiatric hospital…but i still feel alone..i don’t have any family and friends here…tryin find love of my life,someone who loved me but nobody cares.i still think bout kill myself.cause thats only way to be happy
Stumbled across this site as I was feeling down about Valentine’s Day yesterday. I hate the day. I’m a bit of a nerd and geek and still single. All my life I seemed to make stupid mistakes and never seemed good enough.
I’ve gone as far as tie ropes around my neck, write suicide notes, and pack my stuff to make it easier for those left behind to clean my mess.
I still struggle with suicidal thoughts but not as bad as when I was younger. I’m 45yo now.
What has helped me is to focus on others. Volunteering at church, making friends […]
i am the nothing man. i carry doom and gloom as my closest companions. i have no talent, no goals, no desires, no hope and i can’t wait to die. the one thing i do have is family and friends, and honestly, that is the reason why i’m still breathing on this god forsaken earth.
at random times throughout the day i visualize a bullet penetrating my skull and blowing my brains out. it feels more peaceful than anything else that i can imagine. to end the suffering which is my mind would be liberating.
i tried for many years to blame the injustices of […]
Every morning when im wakeing up im still wondering why im still here.
My story.
Im been bullied hole my young life from my second grade to seventh grade.
I been beaten, called names, push around and much more. When i was 15 years old
i try to take my own life by drowning my self to river. I was in the river swiming couple
hours just around and around waiting my strenght to run out. Then i started to feel weak.
Then i sit to one rock and thinking now or never. I was thinking about alot of things
but i dunno enymore what make my mind to chance from the […]
I’m such a coward…
Everything’s in place for my death, and the only thing holding me back is my fear.
Fear of death, when it’s the only logical way to end all suffering.
Not just my suffering, but my family and friends’ as well.
Everyone’s better off without me, and that’s the truth.
So all I gotta do is jump…
and let gravity do the rest.
Fear is holding my feet to the ground.
You fucking coward…
Im frightened of living, but also of dying.
This has been of my mind for a long time, but now i received a message that murdered me emotionally.
Help. I’m stuck between two things. Please… dont mention counseling. Ive tried it and it only brought me down more. My family and ‘friends’ think im okay again.
Im not.
Help.
Hey, I’m a new user. Barely joined a few hours ago.
Hope all of you had a great Christmas with your family and friends.
Hope the new year brings you some joy, keep being strong.
Flying out,
thebat
Believe me, I know about importance of life. How many cries echoed near the dead bodies of beloved ones? How many deals were made in desperation?
But somehow, against all my laws and rules of my family, sometimes I want to break myself, like toy soldier.
I thought that whining about how screwed up your life is – cowardliness and weakness, if you don’t have enough reasons to complain. If you’re alive, your family and friends is okay, then it’s fine. Even if there’s a little flaw somewhere in the basement.
I wish I could talk about anything about fear of being a burden. But I can’t. I […]
Life’s complicated, yes, we all know that. That’s not the only reason we want to do or even try to do what we do.
I feel worthless, stupid, ugly, fat, I feel like a loser, you name it. I felt it all. Being a teenager is a lot more complicated than adults think, especially nowadays. Classes are harder, technology makes it hard to get away from those people we want to get away from, and people are just a lot more cruel. And to those kids who have to do sports and keep grades up, it’s a lot harder than it sounds. Having the responsibilities we […]
Kinda new to this, figured i need to share my story with someone, anybody.
by ad123
written by ad123
Ive Dealt with depression ever since middle school, and yes i believe it has gotten progressively worse throughout the years. I was never really the popular person or noticed even when i was at school or at home, and many family issues, i just felt like i was always just around to fill in a needless gap. Ive gotten good at acting like i was fine whether it be to what friends i do have as well as my family, but lately ive just been breaking down and i feel like all im doing is heading toward a downward spiral. My suicidal demon has always […]
You know what feels like it sucks the worst about depression and wanting to off yourself? It’s knowing that really, when you get right down to it, no amount of therapy, psychotropic pharmaceuticals or loving intervention-type talks with family and friends is going to “cure” you. You have to go through the pain of taking steps and accepting help and being receptive to the above to make yourself well when you really have stopped caring (or think you’ve stopped caring) whether you get well or don’t get well.
Bullying affects soo many people, and some, the way to deal with it is suicide. Some people are brought up in a household where there aren’t happy gatherings, where there is domestic violence, to the woman, and the children are abused, bashed. Some people are lonely. Have no freinds, family, attention. Where the view from their eyes are empty. There are people who are sexual assaulted, raped. Where they are used for sex and torture. There are people who get kidnapped, lets say, kept by a pedo for many years. Where they are tortured with rape, bad living, and are alone with fear. There are […]
its been a while since ive been online. not a lot has happened. but im getting worst. me and my bf broke up, and there is this girl i just wanna kill. me and my best friend are fighting and ive got no sleep in about a week. im going crazy. i run away a lot during the day and sometimes at night. i think about death more and more. i just wanna die. before they were just thoughts but now it is serious. self harm- if i cut my wrist and hope to hit a vein, it will take hours of painful death until […]
hello, well as you all know my life is a complete down buzz. if you dont well heres y… i have leukemia (cancer)
i get seriously bullied and no one cares about me. i have not told a living sole but i am planning my death and i need help…
i am seriously ugly now i have no hair and im always purpley blueish like a giant bruise. do you think if i was to dink half a bottle or more of bleech will it kill me i might even add in the meds i take. i wanna give up but then again i want help, what […]
Im saying goodbye the second week of november on a friday.If you ever read any of my other post you would know i once said something close to the world is bad thats why im leaving it but often times i forget theres one other reason.A secret that i keep that makes me feel like a monster.Everyone would miss me if i was dead im sure but there minds would quickly be changed if they knew my secret.My mom might even spit on my grave. Id rather be gone than to be shunned by society. I have already shunned myself. I dont love me even […]
The Westboro Baptist Church, decided to protest at the funeral of Staff Sgt. Donna Johnson, who was killed in Afghanistan, by a suicide bomber. I joined a group in “Anti-protest” against the Westboro Baptist Church.
As the Church members (The five that showed up), wielded their banners about “fags” and “breast cancer is God’s curse”, I couldn’t help but shake my head in disbelief at audacity of these people. They stood on American flags, gay pride flags and did a host of disrespectful acts. I realize their main goal is to receive attention and I suppose I did help with that, but I wanted to witness […]
why does life have to be so hard?some people think its so easy,or they say(it cant be that bad)them are the people who have family,and friends,people that care about them,and have never been hit in there entire lifes,lets see them close minded fucks try to walk in these shoes,them people that tell me that,wouldnt last a day,iv lasted 21 years,i cant say i survived,i thrived more then anything,i still thrive,i aint that lucky little 16 year old who has a mom and a dad to buy her a car and get her ,her drivers licence,i dont have the support for shit,i do everything on my […]