Burn It All
Went to a live concert last night. Pretty good show. The frontman really knows how to put on a show. Not bad at all. When I get to that point I’m going to blow people away. See, when I go to shows it’s selfish. I go only so that I can visualize myself on the same stage seeing myself doing the same things better. Seeing what things I like regarding lighting and acoustics and even the performance. I pick […]
Hey.
I know that everyone is here for a reason and whatever cliche shit we’ve been listening to forever.
Right now, my life has no purpose. I don’t even know why I opened this site. But whatever. It has always been hard for me to find people to talk to. My parents are kinda supportive, but if you know anything about being Indian it is that your parents exercise complete and absolute control on your life. My parents don’t let me outside the house, except for school. Not even tutions, parties, nothing. Indians are conservative and rather, well, religious. But on days like these I find myself […]
This is my second post on here. My first was a rant about my life. I just need a friend! Oh my god! I’m so sick of being lonely all the time. If I really pushed myself, I could get a job, stop being homeless, blah blah blah… but for what reason? I have nobody. Nobody cares. I cut myself, burn myself, drink to the point I pass out, and and I fucking hate myself so much.
I threw everything away and sacrificed college for a family that pushed me away. I lost my friends to my depression. I’ve tried replacing them with self harm and […]
I am almost to the point of throwing my sister through a window. As I mentioned in my last post her seizure medicine gives her mood swings. Even worse, she watches children’s shows on Nick Jr. and YouTube all the time. Whenever she watches them on TV, she always has a reason to yell and scream. If a commercial comes on that she doesn’t like, she tells everyone she will not scream. She does it anyway. I’ve always thought my sister is autistic and I don’t know for sure, but my mom keeps denying that. If she is not autistic, then what is she? Seriously, […]
Sometimes I wonder if there really is an alternate universe, or another life, or a life in a life. And whatever might happen when you’re dead and your feet are no longer touching the ground.
What do you feel after you die? What do you see? Is everything pitch black, you with no thoughts whatsoever, you literally just gone? Are you really going to be up there, with a God who just so promised to have plans for you? Plans for your life? Or is there another life, where, once you’re dead, you live again. Live another life. Reborn. Forget your past life and just move forward. Start new.
Sometimes […]
I’m taking a step forward.
The past few years have been rough on me. I’m nineteen, I go to college like any normal student, I have friends, I have a family. Every single person in my life are important to me, and I know they care about me even if they don’t usually show it.
Though I’m so tired of what they’ve been hiding. I’ve been a good friend, I know I have. I don’t talk about anyone behind their backs and people learn to trust me. I joke around, I make my friends laugh, I make them smile, and I’m serious when I need […]
To be Honest- i don’t think I’m suicidal but I can tend to surprise myself. I’ve always been okay with my body till I hurt myself and started weighing more than I should. It started to make me more conscious when family would make a general comment.”you’ve gone big haven’t you?” it’s been a few years and since last year I made new friends and they would boost my confidence. My current partner boosts my confidence. My family bring me down and it’s worst because it hurts so bad and I try to change and make a difference but I’m so private about my feelings and […]
I contracted an STD from an ex about 8 months ago (always use a condom, even for blowjobs!), it’s chronic pain in my dick among other things. The doctors are no help and I’m having trouble sleeping! I’ve also had severe anxiety and depression most of my life, on the positive side my family is not too bad. Grew up in a nice house, family vacations, blah blah blah, but what I wanted most that I never received was love! I mean I got some love but I feel like they didn’t want to exert the effort, I guess I can blame that on both […]
Hey everyone. It’s good being back here. Possibly the only place (non-physical of course) I can share how I feel from my point of view with complete honesty and no negative repercussions. I know all of the people who read this post don’t give a flying fuck what a kid in Iowa’s going through, and I don’t blame you. Most of the time I just like to ignore it all and forget who I am, how pathetic my life is, and how useless it all is. Death is inevitable, the only thing that is a constantly changing variable between people is when they die, and […]
Hi. This is my first post on here, and I think that this would help me a lot, considering I’m feeling like a sealed time bomb. Call me Cyn. I’m a teen, but I’ve been through a lot. Lately, I’ve been feeling like nothing. I have the very popular, “things feel like they’re getting worse” and “I feel like my mind is being taken over.” I’m not okay. I don’t have anti depressants, I live off Advil. My mother hates me, and so do my aunts and my grandmother. My whole family hates me; on my mother’s side at least. My boyfriend is the only […]
Suicide is not a joke. It is a battle you fight with your inner spirit and your feelings. For some people, suicide starts with bully, one of the most commons reasons why most deaths in suicide are the range of teenagers and young adults. I am in that range and I was one of the many who had almost succeeded in taking my own life. Suicide don’t just happen because we feel like it, there is always a reason and the main reason suicide comes about in someones mind is because they are being bullied. Being a victim will bring up all kinds of thoughts […]
I don’t really like sharing my ‘story’. It implies that this story is all I am, which in a way is completely true. We’re all just stories floating within the midst of each other’s stories. In school we had to take some quiz about ourselves so a college could rate highschoolers and how they felt or something. One of the questions we were asked was if we felt that our life was worthless. Talk about a loaded question, right? Maybe my life is worth something to me and my family, but to the rest of the world, I’m just one simple story. What impact have […]
Today is my birthday. Instead of feelings of joy, happiness, excitement for what this day is besides my birthday, I feel empty. I no longer know how to run my life. If I ever knew. I feel trapped in it. Trapped in who I am, what I am, where I am in this existence. I do not know how life works. I see everyone around me with all the things I wish I could have. It seems tangible, but so very far from my grasp. Supportive family, friends, significant others and love in their life.
No matter how hard I strive for things most people have. […]
The most beautiful thing happened when i logged in to write here. The check-mark on the login page said, ‘remember me’. What a wonderful thought indeed, made me smile. I don’t know why i chose to write here, why go through the process of registering and then confirming, checking email for new password and writing now. But anyways am here, let’s make the most of it..
Today is one of my darkest days. Three months back if anyone would have spoken of ending their lives I would have dissuaded them fervently. But bearing the same suicidal thought tonight, I somehow feel at ease with myself. Life […]
It’s been so long. Been living with this pain for 3 years. I’ve tried and tried to get better. Yes I’m only 19 but I’m done. I’ve even gone and told a few friends what is going on and nothing I do and nothing they say helps. Lately I’ve hit an all time low I’ve stopped sleeping, started blasting music all night to drown out my thoughts, and then I go and hang out with friends and put on that fake smile and act happy. I’m drowning in my own pain but every time I try to get the guts to kill myself I can’t… […]
I have a health issue that im trying to address. Everyone ignores when i say this. They just think im crazy over some bs. That is fine. But dont insult me. I dont bring up your drinking problems, your previous drug problem, the fact that you are two faced toward everyone. I dont bring up that you were previoulsy a a prostitute. I dont judge you all. How dare you judge me, but wont even listen to me when i try to explain my health issue. Thats fine. Believe what you want. i hope you all die or end up homeless, instead of me. Im […]
I don’t know how or why I even decided I wanted to commit suicide. I have an amazing and loving family, a group of beautiful friends, and amazing health. Yet, despite all this, I have decided that suicide is the right way to turn. Yeah, I’ve had problems with anxiety for the past 5 years, and I lost my best friend to his slut girlfriend, but this shouldn’t be my only option.
I’m 34. Female. Just a few years ago my brother punched me in the temple. He said, “You were raped. That was a long time ago. Get over it.”
I was raped (the one he knows about in college). I’ve been raped a few times since then. I’ve had multiple suicide attempts. I spent three days in the ICU this last time. Failed again, and then my brother has the gall to say that to me and hit me.
The conversation started when I invited him to do a mud run with my husband. He said, “I hate your fucking guts.”
Interesting. I never knew all these years […]
I’m new here, I’m here because I came across this randomly while googling.
I’m here because I’m planning on killing myself in a few months.
the reason for this delay is I want to pay off my credit card before I go so as not to leave my family with too much of a burden. I also want to have time to plan my perfect last day.
I’m trying to approach this from the most rational direction possible. If I don’t go through with this I’ve got nothing else. I’m a college dropout working a crap job for nine dollars an hour. I can’t connect with people. My […]
I’m a little bit new to this whole blogging my feelings thing, but i can’t keep it to myself anymore. I hate myself, i dont know how or wen i did, or i think maybe i always have. I dont think ive ever been happy. When I was really little it was me my mom my dad and my little brother. I always try and remember my childhood as being happy and i’m always that one person to point out the good in any situation, but it’s time i tell the truth. My dad was a rug addict. my dad did crack and cocaine and […]
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