Being off meds for a full year.
Still having a sense of humor.
Learning how to tell myself its ok.
Being in a family that puts up with my shit.
Tag:
family
It’s been a while. Things were going alright. Had a lot saved up. Then everything went to shit all at once. So as people who have read my posts in the past know, my life was almost… good. After years and years of torment, struggling and finding inner strength I didn’t know I had.
Story time. My ex (not my ex fiance), who will remain unnamed, ran into me at college along with her husband and her kid. They were excited to see me as we had remained good friends, and hadn’t seen each other in quite a few years. I was invited to their apartment […]
I mean, when your family consist barely in your mother and your little sister, you don’t have friends, and you can’t pay a psychiatrist? To whom am I supposed to talk to when I /need/ to hurt myself or run away?
As far as I know I have nothing left. My friends, my family don’t even care for me. Day after day, night after night I just lay in suffer age while my friends beat me down further. The friends whom I’ve considered family have used me until they come across someone to replace me. The ones I trusted now ignoring my cries. I have nothing to live for… I have no one to live for. I can’t feel any emotional love anymore..
Now that summer is coming I’m going to have to start wearing short sleeves so at one point I’m either going to have to tell my parents or they will find out about the scars that I have made on my wrist. I want to tell them that I have been doing it to myself but I don’t know how to tell them, and when I do tell them they are going to tell my whole family. And if my whole family find out they are going to start asking me questions all the time, and watching everything I do. It will make me even […]
Since I was about three years old I was told my life would be become better for the events that played out later.
My parents split when I was three (no I am not heartbroken about it, I have not talked it him in almost 15 years). I was told that my life would take a step in a better direction now that a toxin was gone.
I was sexually and physically assaulted when I was five. No one in my life found out until I was 12/13 because hell at the time I didn’t even know what that was. It was my mom’s boyfriend at the […]
Told my family im on the west coast. they did what I thought they would freak out threatened me again threaten to break my marriage again .
Im tired If im being played for a fool let me be played mom and dad . I am a worthless fool . let me die in life mentally emotionally, physically. Im tired of fighting my father siad hell see me in two weeks . I might end it then he gave me my time slot the 9th still stands I guess.
My family are the only people I can count on. If I ever left this world my mother and sister would be broken beyond repair. No matter how much I think about the relief of leaving this burden called life, I don’t want to hurt the only people who gave a fuck about me. When people told me that I shouldn’t be alive because of the way I look, my mom still smiled in my face and hugged me everyday. I feel ashamed I’m not a better son. My mom deserved a son that’s talented, charming, and handsome But she’s stuck with me haha
Lost my job. Got bills. Leg ulcer that is killing me. No family. No friends. Plus, I get the “bonus” of living in America which means that without money I will eventually become one of the walking dead on the streets. Love to live in this isolating, uncaring, self absorbed society. Opportunities abound!! As long as you have the money to pay for them!!
America only works for the managers and bosses who pay employees as little as they can to maximize their own profit. Heaven forbid they should want to share the wealth they made on the backs of the employees that actually made their […]
I cried walking home from dunkin donuts … Again . I am going threw wired feelings lost hopeless are some i can name . Im leaving to a place I hate and people I dont want be around. Im lieing to my family about what im doing . little i thought i had im going to loose . writing this threw tears im going to force a smile in moment .
Let me say this once for the whole world to hear: I. HATE. YOU. ALL.
I am bringing this up again, I was admitted to the E.R. yesterday for suicidal thoughts after my psychologist knew it was beyond her control.
My family, my mother she was pissed. She complained about how the 50$ wasted for parking in the hospital could’ve been used for buying shoes. She said, “Poor, poor girl….Your sister wanted to go shopping, and now she can’t because this bloody (insert swear words) crazy idiot did all this.” My father complained about missing work. My sister called me a dumb stupid teenager and I was making […]
After yesterday, being directly rushed to the E.R. by ambulance for suicidal thoughts, knowing how my family treated me (please read “No Emergency”) when they said I was over exaggerating, when my mom complained saying she could’ve bought shoes instead of paying for parking at the hospital, when my father complained about missing work, where my sister told me I was making things up,
Fuck I don’t even remember the point to this post.
Urgh I’m wasting everyones time.
But I feel I have to let this out.
I have no one.
hey folks…
Did anyone else ever have that (day-)dream by being adopted in an animal family?
I had that strange dream….running away from all of the human pain..finally a group of wolves adopted me. I could hear their thoughts in my mind, and vice versa. Wild animals took care of me. I was allowed to be part of the wolf pack…I was allowed to lean on to those amazing animals during the night, in a cave…safe and warm…and the animals (not just wolves) protected me from men, whenever they tried to get me. I felt warm. I felt safe. Like a little child, growing up […]
A few weeks back I was arrested for fraud and as I type this letter the Police are investigating me.
My life has collapse – I have lost my marriage, I will lose my house, no job and my dearest two boys particularly my youngest (14) does not want to know me but my oldest is autistic so he cannot comprehend the situation.
Our marriage has always been stressful – looking after our autistic son, my health problems and wife’s depression. Our youngest was always was protected – giving him a carefree life with a great education. With that protection he is now in a Royal Ballet […]
My ” friend ” a girl I have knowen my entier life is depressed and suicidal. She recently told me she always angry and anxious, she can’t sleep or eat.
She is a normal person but when she told me while she was crossing the street she wished a car turning would hit her so she can die. I wanted to blurt out welcome to the club, but instead I said “thats to Serious calm down all you did was go get coffe.”
Those words felt like Poissonin my mouth I’ve been in her shoes, I am in her shoes.
But I know she is just lost […]
Hello everyone, new to this. Never written in a forum, except for the SW forum on Reddit last week. Basically Im in deep shit due to my denial and stubbornness. I am way too disappointed in my self to forgive myself. I have hurt myself and in the process people that have cared for me.
I just feel I have reached my patience with myself, feel like I cant do it anymore. I cant commit suicide because that would actually mean giving my family the last fuck you. Least I can do is be here for when the shit unravels, and try to take it like […]
I once said in one of my earlier posts that I ‘longed for the feeling of not feeling at all’
Unknown to the fact how unbearable it is. I feel so numb. I don’t feel happy nor sad. I don’t get excited, nothing motivates me any more. I haven’t loved anything in a while: music, people, family, enjoyment.
It’s so shit.
I was having doubts about this, but now I’m ready. Do you know what finally set me off? My mom. It was a good day, my brother started teaching me how to drive, my dad was just in his room, and my mom was watching tv. And my dad came out to ask about what we should do about our insurance. I don’t know why, but my mom started yelling saying that that should be his responsibility and that other families have everything sorted out. My family isn’t the richest, and whenever my dad does something without my mom’s knowledge she rages and when my […]
In July of 2015 I attempted suicide. I tried to overdose on a full prescription of Xanax. I was prescribed quite a bit. What happened between when I took the bottle, and when I woke up over 24 hours later in the ER is a blur to me. I would hardly call myself a “suicide survivor” because all I can think about is dying. I have always been depressed, mostly due to my severe, crippling anxiety. I can hardly function and that is no stretch of the truth. My desires in life I can never achieve. I become paralyzed when I interact with anyone who […]