Tag:

feel

Never Knowing What To Say

by crockpot14 2/24/2016

written by crockpot14

When you are talking to your friends and they make “harmless” jokes about what you feel and what you do to yourself everyday, what do you say?

I know they do not know what happens when I’m home by myself, but they always make self-harm jokes or suicide jokes. I have recently been trying to open up more to my friends and to actually talk to people but I haven’t gotten to the really deep stuff, and I probably never will. But I have tried getting them to stop using jokes about self-harming or suicide but they just question why I am saying to stop.

Everyday they […]

2/24/2016 2 comments

Idk

by HatedGirl 2/24/2016

written by HatedGirl

If ur bf\gf was in a pych ward would u call them n how many time a day? I called him today but the convo was not great told him i love him n miss him i feel like caling again

2/24/2016 8 comments

by Drowning 2/24/2016

written by Drowning

iv been depressed and in the darkness for so long living a normal life seems scary not to say I will be normal but what is normal always ? Beging depressed and suicidal its just about making it though another day without slicing you throat or swollowing a bunch of pills that’s a battle on its own now life on the other hand finding/getting a job you don’t hate paying bills so you don’t get kicked out made homeless then you feel like an out cast if you don’t have what’s in fashion phone cloths etc but u no u should compare your self to […]

2/24/2016 4 comments

Constant need for approval

by beokay 2/23/2016

written by beokay

i constantly feel that i need to get approval of those around me before i go about my day. i need to make sure people accept me so i feel better. i found this beautiful article that i could relate to in so many ways. please take the time to read and share this article to become aware of the stereotypes in society and what role you play in creating them. i couldn’t be happier i stumbled upon this today. let it change your day too.

http://theodysseyonline.com/marywood/the-girl-with-the-pixy-cut

2/23/2016 3 comments

Where are we now?

by Knightofdoom 2/23/2016

written by Knightofdoom

How can we all be so sad? Do you guys actually feel connected ? I see some old and some new, do we really help, or prolong doomed options?

I’m a drifter I’m come and go. . .

Cause I one day I find hope and the next dispair…

Which I believe is worse, my duel personalites are tearing me apart…

Where are you? Deep in your hole climbing or looking down?

2/23/2016 11 comments

I still am.

by iwant2_die 2/23/2016

written by iwant2_die

Why does it feel

that Mr. sharp

is the only one

that loves me?

Why is he

the only one

that is able

to make me forget?

the only one that

makes me feel like

i matter?

do i really?

why does it

feel so

good

when my skin

rips open?

Why do

I crave to feel the

pain that he

leaves behind?

I know.

because its the

only thing

reminding me

I’m still alive.

2/23/2016 11 comments

Of Lessons Learned

by bluerabbitheart 2/23/2016

written by bluerabbitheart

This time I’ll do things differently
This time I’ll act immediately

This time, I’ll keep an overview

Has anyone else on here watched those two South Park episodes about depression? They’ve been keeping me sane (i.e. as sane as possible) for the past 21 hours or so. It’s been quite a while since I last watched them, and they feel even more relevant now. That’s not a good thing, of course, but at least I have something to make me feel less alone in all of this.

Damn it… Please, just let this day be over.

2/23/2016 0 comment

think I might have taken a turn

by souptool 2/22/2016

written by souptool

Well I’m going to go a different road today and say that I have a pretty positive outlook on life at the moment.

Today was a actually a pretty good day and I’m thankful for it cause they’re rare anymore.

Had a good aa meeting, had a meeting downtown for community service hours and I didn’t buy any drugs even tho I kinda had a plan to mabey look for something to take the edge off. Even took the money out, just didn’t ask anyone so that felt pretty good too.

Getting out of the house too was actually good I didn’t want to leave my room today […]

2/22/2016 3 comments

What Hurts The Most:

by GTSuicide_6 2/22/2016

written by GTSuicide_6

Its writing here, on Suicide Project, waiting for someone to be out there.

But no one is.

And its like all you feel is the worst kind of loneliness……..

2/22/2016 19 comments

First post.

by Wintergirl 2/22/2016

written by Wintergirl

I’m so sad and defeated. I don’t know how to fix it anymore. I found this site the day twix was posting. I was sad she had to go, and touched by how kind everyone was here. So I lurked for a little over a week. Here I am now. I hope to get to know everyone better and hope I can help someone here because I don’t feel as if I make a difference anymore in my day to day life. I feel so raw and full of hate and sadness. I mostly hate myself for the way I have become. But, I’m rambling […]

2/22/2016 17 comments

I want it to end

by sonderr 2/21/2016

written by sonderr

Ever since I was 13, I’ve had varying cycles of depression. They used to be pretty mild, nothing to make me want to do anything irrational. But my depression reached an all time high last year when I was 16, and I seriously consider suicide every day for a long time. The only reason I’m still alive is because I was too afraid of the physical pain.

The reason why my depression spiked was because I had found out that my best friend never had any trust in me at all and that she never really cared about me. I also began having confusion with my […]

2/21/2016 1 comment

Idk why but i feel like crying

by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful) 2/21/2016

written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

It started when at the gym about 90 mins ago. I just got the sudden urge to cry. I was able to not do it and i could have it was empty at the time. Ive since finished my workout come home walked the dogs taken a shower and its back. Could be all of the deaths the past week. Could be seeing a recent pic of * when i considered emailing her. Could be all the “self-help” exercises ive been doing. Ut i just want to cry. I hope it doesn’t symbolize anything unless it is tears of joy for some reason. This ever […]

2/21/2016 6 comments

My Story: Part 1

by Resentment 2/21/2016

written by Resentment

Hey.

I can’t tell the difference between what is ‘reasonable’ and ‘depressed’ most of the time. Has anyone ever read a journal entry years ago? How does it make you feel? When I was a teenager, I would look back a year or so and feel positively embarrassed.
If I look now, I feel something else. I don’t feel so many years prouder. I feel sadness, and resentment. I didn’t make it out.
Ah, typing this, I’m afraid I don’t sound much different at all.

Alright. Let’s get this out before I waste any more of your time. I’m a gay guy. If this upsets you, scroll […]

2/21/2016 7 comments

I Don’t Know

by JiminyCrispies 2/20/2016

written by JiminyCrispies

I was supposed to go out today. I broke down 10 minutes before we left due to the arguing downstairs which made the voices unbearable. I’m going out tomorrow morning now. I’m terrified. I don’t want to go out, I don’t want to leave the house. I couldn’t leave my room until mid-afternoon today because there was a man in the hallway waiting for me.

My mum yelled at me because I’m hearing the voices and Angels. She yelled because I’m seeing things. And she still wonders why I don’t speak to her. She makes me feel awful for having this going on. I feel guilty […]

2/20/2016 12 comments

Things that keep you going?

by chelle428 2/20/2016

written by chelle428

I just wanted to know some things that keep everyone going or make you feel better when you’re down and things of that nature?

Mine is my two horses who I love very much and my 7 year old nephew. When I’m down I also think of once when my nephew was asking me and my sister (his mom) if he would die one day and so we told him yes, but he had a very long time before he would ever have to worry about that and then he asked me if I would die one and I told him yes and he started crying […]

2/20/2016 18 comments

People who don’t ‘get it.’

by vedura 2/19/2016

written by vedura

If you are already on an anti-depressant and an anti-anxiety medication, after a life time of struggle and suicidal ideation; and going through a hard time, running out of money and unable to get a job; how do you feel when a friend tells you that you worry too much, then recommends an essential oil calming combination?

SCREAM!!

Thank you for listening. I just had to get that out. I should have learned by now that those who haven’t been there will never understand. Repeating a hundred ‘la la’s, while sitting in a lotus position just doesn’t pay the electric bill.

2/19/2016 8 comments

I’m back, after a long time

by chelle428 2/19/2016

written by chelle428

I haven’t been on here in a very long time, I don’t even recognize any of the users now. I stopped posting because I didn’t think it was really helping me, but I’m really needing a place to share how I’m feeling again.

I thought things were getting better for a while, I had a counselor and I was on antidepressants for a while. The antidepressants were helping but then we found out that I’m severely allergic to most medications. The only medication I wasn’t allergic made me incredibly sick all the time and made me feel worse. My counselor was very nice, but all she […]

2/19/2016 12 comments

The Looking Glass

by Alan Ominous 2/18/2016

written by Alan Ominous

Looking through your window,
Starting to feel strange.
I know everything about you,
But you don’t know my name.

Watch you from a distance,
You don’t know I exist.
I’ve become a creeper now,
Some may say obsessed.

Yes I watch your every move,
I see when you get dressed.
I was with you on your vacation,
And Friday night with your friends.

Will you ever notice,
I’ve been watching you?
Will you ever see me,
Through the lens I view you?

2/18/2016 3 comments

In a bad place

by whydoiwantto 2/18/2016

written by whydoiwantto

So it is happening again, the depression and urges of suicide are growing stronger. The temptations are so hard to resist it’s like a chain I can’t escape this feeling. Why live an unhappy life? Depression is lifelong so why put up with this misery? It’s not environmental, I have a good job, good friends… it’s more like a riptide pulling me in no matter how hard I try to swim away.

Here is my story: like many of you my childhood was abusive, I was preyed on early and there are things that happened that I can never forget. I coped with drugs starting in […]

2/18/2016 2 comments

Life Just Keeps Getting Worse

by such catcat 2/17/2016

written by such catcat

I lost the few friends I had today because I’m such a jerk. I had another snow day today so me and my friends were playing Team Fortress 2 on a x10 server. I was using an overpowered weapon and one of my friends was getting really mad at me, and since I’m such s bad person I continued doing it because I thought it was funny. After a bit everyone left the server and joined another one. I joined the game, not knowing that they left to get away from me and I started being a douche again. Eventually everyone got fed up and […]

2/17/2016 7 comments

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