I’m 16 years old. I’ve been suffering from manic depression. I get bullied at school for being quiet. I get called ugly, a *****, whore and so much more. What did I do??? Nothing. I don’t have the guts to talk to someones face about how much I hate myself. Honestly, I’m pretty much that girl that no one knows until she commits suicide. Then, suddenly everyone had a class with me..it sucks. My dad is abusive and my mom and I are scared to death. Never knowing what he will do to us next. He emotionally abuses me and physically. I don’t have many […]
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Friends
Spend all day In a trap house doinq the obvious.Couple of my friends,two hoes and me.
Do you know what It feels like to be surrounded but Isolated???Like If everyone around you Is there but your casper the qhost.I left without lettinq anyone know and no call,no txt sayinq hey why’d you leave?Nothinq.Theres so many fraud ass people In Houston It’s crazy.I wanna cut sssssoooooo BAD!!!!! but I threw away my razor two months aqo and any new razor Is just qonna leave a scar that Isen’t qonna qo away!
I just wanna drop everythinq and start a new life.
These past few days have been hell for me. I went on vacation with my family and well, my prediction was correct. It was miserable except when we did stuff like skiing and tubing. All the time in between was hell on earth. My sister was a ***** to me always being nasty and criticizing me and whenever she did the whole family joined in. So now i realize that i dont have a safe haven anymore. I have no support from anyone really. Anything i do is wrong. I have no friends except for the few i talk to in school but none that […]
Hello SP
So I have gotten it into my head that I don’t want to be alone anymore. I have been doing much better lately, I have seeing my friends more and I have been nicer in general to everybody. But it is hard and change isn’t coming easy.
everyday is different, some days I feel like a piece of shit and I feel like I deserve to be alone. Other days I feel like I want to find a girl and make her happy, I feel like I would do anything for them to make them happy.
I guess I can feel change creeping in, now I have thoughts like you should […]
I feel so good! For those of you who read my last post… Today I went to that party anyways. I went by public transport with my slippers, then I changed it to heels once I reached there. And actually the public transport is not so bad… and I hanged out with my friends and we enjoyed.
I have learned that life is all a choice.
Mortal/physical death is destined, but happiness is a choice.
As for me, I will not choose to die. No more sitting around and dying all day. I will survive, find my way out and achieve my goals.
Why do I keep fucking shit up? Why am I so stupid? I just… Feel like I am no good to anyone. I feel like all I do is screw shit up. I have nowhere to go, no friends that I can rant to freely without them getting annoyed and I’m left to this site. I have hit rock-bottom, and my last resort was this website.
Tell me, how pathetic does that sound? A site called The Suicide Project is where I go to when I need to vent. Yeah, most may call me lucky: I’ve been accepted into an amazing cosmetology school, I’m a model, […]
I just don’t know what to do anymore. I have a planned suicide date, a method(very effective) and I’m ready to die.. I’ve taken dozens of different meds and I go to therapy, I have a great family and awesome friends but nothing helps! I try to diet, go out with friends even when I don’t want to leave my room and I try to do things that make me happy but nothing works! I have 7 days left at this point and I’m 95% sure I’m going to go through with it. I really don’t know why I’m asking this but if anyone can […]
reasons for doing this
1. Im addicted to trying to hurt myself
2.I have loads of pills its to hard to get rid of them.At at least for me.
3. Im pretty sure nothing will come of it anyway. After all ive attempted suicide more times than can count and a lot of the times i was never admitted for treatment.
4. Ive been very scared lately of death which is very ironic.But the point is i dont want to be around without the people i love.I dont want to feel the emotional pain of loss.
5 I cant survive on my own.One of my […]
For as long as I can remember I have thought of suicide, even back in elementary… I had no friends until the 4th grade. Things were okay until i shit my pants in the 5th grade therefore once again becoming an outcast. No friends in high school even though it was a fresh start I was still too awkward to make friends. Even when the thoughts are gone or I think everything is going good, it comes right back. Why cant I shake these thoughts? Im a loser and a weirdo, I have no friends and no one likes me. The only reasons I havent […]
Tonight I have thought about driving over a bridge, drowning in my bathtub or just slitting my wrists with broken glass. It’s a disease. Suicide is something that takes you over and makes you weaker and weaker.
Strange that today I am willing to take my life when I remember pulling through all the difficulties, I am still alive but it’s not that I have to just keep on going through and surviving through yet another hard time but that I have to remember and re-live the pain of when I first held a bottle of pills. It used to be that nobody knew, that behind […]
Not one person in this world knows how I feel, not even my boyfriend. How depressed I am, how much I cry, how damaged I am, how sad I am, how long its been, how much I wish to end my life every day.
They think I am just me, little bit anti social but laughs, is ok, they think I am fine.
Is that fucked?
I don’t think I am that messed up of a person. But right now all I want is to go to sleep and never wake up. The root of the problem is that I am lonely. You see, all I ever wanted was a wife and children. I know, it sounds lame, but it is true. But that won’t happen. I came close, once, years ago. But two months before our wedding, she broke it off, because “God told her to”. since then, I have tried again, but I’ve never felt a connection to anyone. And I know that as far as problems go, that […]
they took a picture of me during lunch hour the other day. and by they i mean my ‘friends’. actually, i’m not even friends with the boy who took the picture. he just hangs out with my ‘friends’. anyway, he took a picture and showed the girl next to him. they started laughing. i figured it was a picture from facebook or something. then one of the girls asked ‘what?’. the girl who first saw the picture said ‘trust me. you don’t want to see it’. the boy sent the picture to that girl and then showed the other people around him. they were all […]
Me and my friend are sitting in my room im putting on makeup like i always do…i put it on my scars though not my face. and she just sits there staring at me “what? why are you staring?” i ask her “It’s just, you say your depressed. but why are you depressed you have no reason you have the perfect life! I mean, your popular, your beautiful, the dance is like two months away and you already have 23 boys wanting to take you! why are you so depressed?” I think about it, and i know the answer but it sounds stupid even in […]
I don’t know whats important in my life, what i want , what i’m looking for :E I have cool job with a very good salary and future opportunities, so i need to improve my skills and knowledge more and more but.. : / sometimes i’m Ok and I don’t care about such kind of a things, but often I have long depressions and wishes to die.. I don’t know what’s missing in my life, why am i so different, I don’t even get on with someone they all are at most liers, fools or trying to be fool or something :/ and that makes me to hate […]
Well let me begin from the beginning…I was born in Ukraine and moved here when i was four with my parents and my brother, i learned English and life was great even though we were poor. Then we moved to a little town with a little school and life gradually started getting worse by the day, we had financial problems and my mom went to school when I was in the 9th grade, so she was always stressed and she would put all her anger on my brother and I, but especially on me. I’ve always been on the heavy side, and always have been made fun of […]
I have been struggling with this for a long, long time. Suicide, the word that is there all the time, something I can’t get out of my mind. I know exactly who I am, and what I am going to be if I don’t end this. I’m just an ignorant, ugly, fat, useless waste of air, and that’s exactly what I am going to be for the rest of my life if I dont stop it right now.
I’ve tried everything: I’ve tried to be positive, I’ve tried religion, I’ve tried to have friends, to talk with my family. Nothing works, it seems like I’m some […]
I’m almost 14 years old and I don’t know what’s happening. I’ve always had a good life. Protected, secure. Always a good student and had a lot of friends. In December of 2011 I started cutting I stopped after 3 months. I felt alone even when I wasn’t. Myy life was in great shape for awhile. But all of a sudden I’ve started feeling alone, I’ve cried myself to sleep and the worst part is no one in a million years would even guess that I would feel this way. I recentley fell in love with my best guy friend. My parents are splitting up and my friends […]
Some Information
I’m a 16 year old guy.
My only friend is this girl in my 6th period class. We don’t really hang out, but we talk in school. So that’s a friend right? We talk at night over the phone about all sorts of stuff. Since I don’t even sleep at night I always have to hang up on her because she’s so stubborn and refuses to sleep until I do. But even though we talk about lots of deep, important stuff at night, we have never had to say anything like “Don’t tell anyone!” She just trusts me and I just trust her.
Sorry I should choose better words. […]
whatever ill use the tags in the title general rant, but one more fucking day and i am done with this bullshit and turning out the fucking lights.
by ezrakata
written by ezrakata
theres nothing i can say or do is there? well it wouldnt matter if you said yes or no bec it doesnt change the fact that there is nothing i can ever say or do that is the right thing- i thought I was doing the right thing and now i have no idea about anything really. even though my life was screwy I had these constants that were just there…certainties that I thought well if this ship goes down at least these things will still be around. at least i have this or at least i have that. reality check you dont have anything […]