yeah thanks mom and dad for screwing my dream of being a model. yeah i knew it was unlikely anyway but u criticize me for taking pictures of myself thinking im doing all of it for attention FUCK NO! yes i know i may be beautiful but im no size 4 u still have no right to flat out say “honey, your just not skinny enough they will destroy u put u on a diet to lose weight i dont want u to become obsessed with size look at me dear im fat and can careless u should do the same” u have gotta […]
Tag:
Fuck
My mother tuts and scolds me when I say things like how I think she and the rest of the family would have been better off without me, but I think I’m right. I’ve been a financial and emotional burden for most of my life, and now I suppose it’s mostly financial, but what does it matter.
My mom’s boyfriend flipped out on me a couple nights ago, what triggered it is still kind of a mystery, but apparently he had a real bone to pick because he screamed abuse at me for the better part of an hour. It wouldn’t bother me if none of […]
I’m only 13 years old and I self harm myself almost everyday. It all
when I was only 2 years old matter of fact I was not even 1. My
mother got MS and she lost her legs. The older I got the worst
everything become. I never went on a field trip or went to a friend’s
house to play. I had friends but the older I got the worst of friends I
got like the druggies, whores, bullies, liars, and abusives. When I
was in 6th grade I found a boy I liked tall, rocker, handsome, and
sweet. It was a thursday morning in the hallway when some of my
friends […]
I woke up this morning and the first thought that came in to my head, as always, is that I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be in this house, in this city, in this country, in my life.
Feeling like this all the time just isn’t normal. There was a time when I was younger I could forget it all, brush off my worries with my friends and alcohol and even when I couldn’t, when it came down to the worse-than-usual days I had my friends to keep me going. I had 3 very good friends back then, 2 neighbours who […]
I’ve been laying on the floor for the past 30 min, crying. I’m losing my mind a bit more each day. My fire is gone, my fight is gone. I feel like garbage. Nothing can make it better. Fuck, I can barely hold myself together to write this. I’m dead inside, dead for too long, soon to be dead for good. I can’t do this anymore. They all want me dead. Don’t even know what to say anymore… Everything is pointless… everything is pointless…
My dad has always been annoying and judges everything. He always told me that would not be ok with me being gay. I should say “hey dad I need to talk” then after 10 minutes of telling him I can’t say, in a sincere voice say “dad I’m gay” It would fuck him up so bad. Then two or three days later after it has sunk into him say “haha not really I was kidding”
I’m useless in this “real world”….I’m such a fucking impractical, too imaginative person.. thus, I don’t belong here in this mundane, dull, boring real world..!
by niki
written by niki
I’m useless in this “real world”….I’m such a fucking impractical, too imaginative person…
thus, I don’t belong here in this mundane, dull, boring real world..!
I often feel like I belong to another planet, universe, or perhaps another ‘spiritual’ plane, dimension,..something like that.
my super-vivid imagination’s world / universe is often a HUNDRED times much more lively, interesting, exciting, thrilling, and challenging than this apparently “Law and Order, all about money/profits and status” shallow, mundane, meaningless real world !
it’s my curse.
fuck my life..
get the hell me out of this fucking Matrix , please , somebody!
there should be an OPTION to get the fuck […]
I’m sick of this feeling.
I have just watched one of my favorite shows that has just come back on after almost half a year.
I love this show so much that all week i look forward to it.
But after it is finished i always feel so upset and sad. Like after the peak of ecstasy i feel this horrible indifference coming down.
All i want to do is cut. It’s like i can’t wait for it!
Such a weird feeling.
Fuck.
I can’t believe my own friend made me cut myself just now. I haven’t cut myself in about a month and there, she made me do it. Yes I blame her. I literally fucking hate everyone and I wish I was dead. I’m sick of fucking trying to make everyone happy when no one gives 2 shits about me. Fuck everyone and everything, I wanna overdose and I don’t fucking regret it. I’m bleeding right now and I blame society. How can anyone be so selfish? I wanna freaking die already, I wish I die soon. I can’t take this pain no more. I hope […]
I am uncertian now. Everytime I go past thinking about it and actually set up what I need to do it I cannot bring myself to do it because of the constant thoughts of “It could still get better” Also imagining myself happy living however I choose and I hate these thoughts that I see no truth in. I wanted to hang myself and I set the noose up and stood there wearing it but there was no way to make myself jump. My only attempt was when I as 14 I took 200 tylenol and 100 asprin without even researching. I assumed I […]
Call me stupid. Yeah, I was. Desperate and so fucking stupid!
I was looking at a gun sale website, emailed the owner, offered a lot of money and some bogus story as to why I didn’t have  a licence to own one or a permit. Said It was for my bf birthday. Shit. I’m in Aus btw.
I set up a fake email that day. Fake name, birthday, birth date. That’s not enough to stop IP tracking though.
So I got an email back. I just knew it was a mistake.
It was a paragraph, I read the first line and it said “Your email address and email has […]
I remember a line from the movie “the lives of others” and there was this line about suicide being “the death of hope.” Â That’s what I feel like.
I have no hope. Â None. Â I have no hope that my life is ever going to get better and that I will one day be a happy, content person. Â Whatever happiness I’ve ever had in my life has been fleeting. Â It’s only ever been when I was with two of my girlfriends. Â Both relationships ended when they dumped me at around the two month mark. Â I don’t see the point in deluding myself that it will ever get […]
Things were starting to get better. It’s been almost two weeks since the last time I sliced myself. I finally told my dad to get me a therapist since my mom doesn’t give a shit. I guess my dad forgot about me again. Not a surprise, my family seems to forget about me alot. I even tell them I’m their forgotten child.
I really hate my family. Especially my mom. She thinks it’s hilarious to make fun of me. She’s over done it today. Haha very funny to make fun of your daughter in front of my dad and little brother. I always just […]
WHO CARES I DON’T UNDERSTAND!
Why do I come to this God damn website searching for a little hope? Why do I do this to myself? Why can’t I just be happy what is the fucking point? Why can’t I just move on with my life. I care. I care so much. But do they care? Do my friends and family really care? Does my boyfriend really care? Or is this some fucking pity thing? HA. My boyfriend. What a wonderful guy. He’s so up fucking beat, and I am so off beat. What is wrong with me? It seems almost as if I can […]
Well, my story is much longer, but I don’t feel like writing it all. I have been depressed for 2 years been in mental hopsital twice, I am only 16 (17 next month). A year ago my brother’s girlfriend killed herself she had depression and they met at the hopsital. And then three months later my brother followed. I found him dead in our bathroom. We were really close and, my life was shit enough before he died. I have been in hopsital again for 3 months, been on different pills nothing makes me feel better. My life is just not getting any better. Nothing […]
I’m 13. Lately, I’ve had a lot of stuff going on in my life, and here goes. Once I started secondary school, I started to get bullied, my hair looked greasy which was natural. I got called either ‘Greaseball’ or ‘Frying Pan’. It was horrible. My whole school called me it. It started to wear off. Once it wore off, I had a perfect life. My mum had just given birth to my baby brother and sister which were twins (Aged 1). I thought I had everything, I did. Then I started making new friends, and one of them I just loved. We started talking […]
I don’t know how long I can keep doing this for. I had planned my suicide for last Tuesday but I got really drunk on Monday and told my auntie so my mum took me to hospital. Now everyone’s pretending like it didn’t happen. I have my exams in less than a week and it’s just another insignificant thing on top of everything else. Although it isn’t a priority teachers and college in general are making me feel lazy and stupid. I wish I could just end it now, go to sleep and never wake it. I’m not scared or upset that I want to die anymore, […]
I started drinking and smoking pot around age 12. before I went into puberty, Now i am 23 and my bones have not developed. My wrists and hands are smaller than most childrens. I also have gynocomastia (development of breasts due to hormonal imbalances). It seems my hormones are fucked. I have no sex drive and no ambition. Ive been rejected by many females for my feminine qualities. My father killed himself when i was 17, and all my life since then Ive just wanted to be a man and take care of myself and my family…now im developing into a fucking woman! I had […]
I lack the ability to be persistent,so it’s the end of the line.
by jackraiden
written by jackraiden
Up till now, i have always tried to change my life.
I have tried to be consistent, in everything but failed..in everything.
Everything i try from losing weight to even brushing my teeth ends up not being done, and im sick of it, im sick of it all, life is a god damn chore that i don’t want to join, its sucks,i have no one else that understands me, no one, all i have are idiots around me, my family and friends will never understand me and how painful it is thinking this way, getting up to wash your face feels like climbing a mountain.
I will never […]
To me the only way to live is to say its my life and I will do what ever I fucking feel like doing. If I don’t want to go to school I dont go, If I feel like going outside at 3am I say fuck the curfew. I will no longer have anybody ever again tell me what to do and I will personally clash with anybody telling me otherwise. I dont give a fuck about societies norms and expectations and Fuck getting a job. I am obligated to absolutely fucking nothing at all becuase I didnt even choose to live this life. If […]