Tag:

get better

whomp whomp

by jasal 12/14/2015

written by jasal

Apparently I post on this site every 6 or so months when my suicidal ideation hits an all-time high. Funny how that coincides with the schedule for final exams. Today I actually wrote down a step-by-step checklist for everything I need to do in order to kill myself, including all of the necessary preparations regarding my belongings and funeral arrangements. The list is remarkably coherent and logical despite the fact that I wrote it during an intensely hysteric episode.

I already tried to stop myself from ideating and plotting. I read those “X Reasons Not To Kill Yourself” lists and the like, but I found it […]

12/14/2015 1 comment

Letter to no one and everyone

by the_quiet_1 12/14/2015

written by the_quiet_1

Hi, my name is Angelica Cuenca. I’m 17years old and I’ve been living with depression for about 6 years now. It’s started after I lost my best friend which is my mom from cancer. I stop believing in God because he was supposed to be the good but he took someone that I loved the most, someone that I could talk to no matter what. A week or so my sisters and I went to live with my mom’s parents which are my grandparents. I never wanted to lived with them but I had no choice my father was not fit to take care of […]

12/14/2015 9 comments

Are all my friends dead?

by alum 12/13/2015

written by alum

I don’t even recognize the people on this forum anymore, where did everyone go? Did they get better and move along? Did they finally just bite the bullet. I need to talk to someone..

12/13/2015 11 comments

NO worries it’s just my dead body

by alum 12/13/2015

written by alum

So I got the job, I graduated, I did it. Throughout all the torture of having those really bad lows. And it just doesn’t get better, even if you get a good salary, even if you work in your field, able to pay back on loans and debts and are financially solvent, it just doesn’t get better. I lost my phone, I am still with the person that irritates my very being. My apartment looks like a hoarder’s, I have packed boxes from 6 months ago sprawled around. I’m starting a new job. I’m not even sure if it’s the right decision or if I […]

12/13/2015 6 comments

mom

by kristink 12/9/2015

written by kristink

it’s been awhile since i have been here. i was hoping not to feel compelled to write here again but circumstances have decided otherwise. it has been a rough year for me.when my birthday came around i had every intention of being dead. i had made arrangements, secured a means, everything was set to go. then the day came and for some reason i couldn’t do it. a few short days later i had a very ugly and traumatic breakup with both my shrink and therapist. and yet i survived. i have been off psych meds for the first time in over 20 years. things […]

12/9/2015 1 comment

Yeah I am a weirdo, I don’t like to talk that much to other people…

by thefreed 12/9/2015

written by thefreed

but girls still like me???? I don’t get it at all. Whenever I am in class I just put on my headphones and bob my head and groove, even sing at times. \I also have a bit of social anxiety, yet I don’t know. I don’t get what they see in me.

I used to have times I was socially inept and a total loser, but I grew from all those experiences. I might still have a long way to go… But if you take care of yourself, and keep your mind strong then one day it’ll get better and better…

I am such a weirdo, that […]

12/9/2015 1 comment

by HatedGirl 12/8/2015

written by HatedGirl

I stoped hanging out with my bestie and going out or even doing the fun things i use to do i dont like to go out i feel i been keeping to my self i hate feeling sad ugly fat im depressed and i will see doc soon i hope i can get better i always say im ok to not worry those who love me and see the good in me but im feel sad im sorry im not best at typing i do have a learning disabilty and dislexia hope ur day night is a good one its damn in morning and still […]

12/8/2015 8 comments

I can’t keep in, I can’t let it out

by parakeet 11/29/2015

written by parakeet

We don’t know each other, but I know that at least most of you are familiar with the thought and the desire to end one’s life. I am posting these words here, to you, as I cannot share them with anyone.

I have tried so hard. I’ve been hospitalized four times and I’ve managed to avoid that in the last 6 years. I got a job and I hold on to it as if the routine and my financial independence could save me. A friend (one of the two that survived to long periods of time in which I feel unable to talk to someone) asked […]

11/29/2015 3 comments

Change isn’t helping

by outinthedark 11/28/2015

written by outinthedark

So I haven’t been on this website in a while now. But I’m just in a bad place right now. I went off and started college and I thought everything would get better once I got away from the environment I was in,but everything just followed me. I started talking to one person who really wants to help me but the person is someone I can’t just entirely call up out of the blue and I don’t want to bug them with my problems because they have their own life and our relationship isn’t like that. And now I’m sitting here debating on what I’m […]

11/28/2015 1 comment

I can live a bit more.

by viola 11/27/2015

written by viola

I’ve decided that I won’t kill myself on the 30th. After all, someone told me that one, my family and friends will be grieving and that if I kill myself, I might give a lot of people despair. Second, my dreams – to be a ballet dancer, to be friends with my crush (which is kind of weird to be placed here, heh), and to serve the country as a scientist – will all be lost when I die. Third is that I want to let other depressed and suicidal people live and know that we can all defeat our suicidal thoughts and not let […]

11/27/2015 3 comments

leaving soon.

by ready_2_die 11/27/2015

written by ready_2_die

I’ve decided Monday is the day. As soon as my son goes to school, I will leave to die. I was going to use pills, but, decided on a gun instead. I keep putting it off, because I think things will get better, but they don’t. I’m at peace knowing that I will be pain free in a few days. It’s nice to know that people will be relieved when I go. I won’t be a burden or annoyance anymore.

11/27/2015 8 comments

What is my life worth?

by bah 11/26/2015

written by bah

I’m perpetually depressed, I have no one, no friends, no one to love me or care about me. I wish I could just end my life, but I can’t even do that.

I don’t see how “things will get better” when it hasn’t for three decades.

I have suffered all of my life. My childhood was filled with abuse, my 20s and 30s has been wrought with illness and injuries, ones that affect me every day of my life and will never get better. I am in constant pain. I’m not in my 40s yet but my miserable existence begs the question: What is the point of living?

11/26/2015 6 comments

by Whateverbell 11/26/2015

written by Whateverbell

This morning I sent out all my thanksgiving text to my family and close loved ones. Tellin them that I love them and the reason why I’m thankful for them. At least they’ll know how I feel when I off myself. I’ve been on this site since 2012 and nothing hasn’t gotten better. It only got worse.

I guess this is why rape victims never come forward about anything. I’ve only told 5 of my closest friends and out of the five, two have told me it was my fault and one doesn’t believe me after I told him the whole story from start to finish. […]

11/26/2015 10 comments

another rant

by tteia 11/19/2015

written by tteia

im so fucking tired of life. i really am. i just feel like the days are getting worse, and worse. And nothings gonna change. This past week I’ve found myself thinking about running away, or filling up my bath tub, and falling asleep in it. Or hanging myself in the bathroom, and im basically just trying to say, im really tired of life. im tired of me, an i really wish it could get better, but I no its not going to be..so I just want to end it. I just want it to end. I’m tired of going to school, and always feeling […]

11/19/2015 1 comment

My husband is leaving me and I can’t go on

by hollylion 11/14/2015

written by hollylion

I used to post here a lot, about a year and a half ago. I was hopeless and wanted everything to end so bad. I hoped and prayed everyday for things to get better and did everything I could to make it happen. I came here to not feel so alone.

And things did get better. It took a while but all my wishes came true and I finally got the happiness I had been seeking for so long.

It was all because of a guy I was in love with and was waiting for him to come back to me. He finally did and he proposed. […]

11/14/2015 7 comments

Protected: failure

by whiskered-fish 11/13/2015

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

11/13/2015 21 comments

cheesy novels & being unlovable.

by spvnalittlelie 11/12/2015

written by spvnalittlelie

in the cheesy novels that i sometimes read (don’t judge), the troubled female protagonist gets better only after she meets a perfect boy and they fall in love and he glues together all the broken parts of her blah blah … i want to believe i can get better without a boy, because let’s face it – i am butt-ugly, so boys are not on the horizon for me. but surely this trope exists for a reason? can i really get better. . . alone? i know i will never be loved, so what does it matter if i live or die?

11/12/2015 15 comments

So what has been happening to me last months?

by Heiwana 11/11/2015

written by Heiwana

Nobody cares but I need to vent.

So after summer vacations and in the first week of school I tried to kill myself 2 times with pills, one of those times I got 3 days in hospital. After that I started medication and got a bit better. The friendship with my “best friend” is now in a strange phase. I made mistakes that I regret, he is really ice cold and has been avoiding me. This hurts so much that I am getting bad again. Actually I am good sometimes and bad other times, like a rollercoaster and the new medication I started this month is […]

11/11/2015 2 comments

Human Stepping Stone

by Spook 11/11/2015

written by Spook

I’ve spent my life being the person who is always thinking of others, always trying to help make everyone else’s lives around me better. I’m the clown, the one who laughs and jokes with others and makes others smile when they need it most and people apparently enjoy my company. However, I am just a stepping stone for everyone, they use me to get what they need and then move on, leaving me to feel alone and isolated again.

People see me as the happy and friendly guy, however, I’ve struggled in secret, for the most part, with depression my entire life. I promised myself I […]

11/11/2015 7 comments

i am weak

by ShortOne 11/10/2015

written by ShortOne

okay, so i am very very very lonely. and im sorry if this isnt a well written passage but i just need to try and talk for a moment. i want to die. and i hate myself for wanting it. i hate myself for feeling that i need it. that im not good enough to fix myeslf or to make myself stronger. i hate that i even think of leaving all the people and the places behimd even when it feels like theyre gone and ill never be able to get them back. i hate a lot of things. mostly just myself though. all the […]

11/10/2015 11 comments

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